Never realized how intimidated a woman could be of a guy until...

[sandman007]

Wow, and she didn't take that as being too eager or desperate. See, I would think that would be an automatic killer, but I guess not...at least not in your case. Interesting. If that ever happens to me again, I'll try it out.

I had a situation similar years ago. This hot babe at the bar was shooting guys down left and right that were asking her to dance. I just walked up to her and said "C'mon, we're gonna go dance." She followed me to the dance floor and before the song was over told me straight out that I was going home with her. When the song finished, I looked up my buddies and told them I was gone, then escorted her out of the bar and back to her house where we got busy. Never occurred to me I might come across to her as too eager. What did occur was striking while the iron was hot before she maybe had second thoughts about fvcking a complete stranger within an hour of meeting him. In my experience, women are fickle...they may want you today and lose interest tomorrow if there isn't an emotional investment so if she wants to throw it on you, get it now.

 

[edger]

I had a situation similar years ago. This hot babe at the bar was shooting guys down left and right that were asking her to dance. I just walked up to her and said "C'mon, we're gonna go dance." She followed me to the dance floor and before the song was over told me straight out that I was going home with her. When the song finished, I looked up my buddies and told them I was gone, then escorted her out of the bar and back to her house where we got busy. Never occurred to me I might come across to her as too eager. What did occur was striking while the iron was hot before she maybe had second thoughts about fvcking a complete stranger within an hour of meeting him. In my experience, women are fickle...they may want you today and lose interest tomorrow if there isn't an emotional investment so if she wants to throw it on you, get it now.

Heh, my success rate with randomly cold-approaching a hottie and telling her, "Come dance with me" in a total confident way, has so far proved ineffective. Yet again though, I've only employed that approach twice or so. Glad it's worked for you though.

 

[edger]

They go after women who are more along the same level of attractiveness or lower (settle). It's when you start going above your natural threshold do you experience a good amount of rejection. Also, by attraction I don't mean simply good looks (although that in itself is one of the most important), it's the total package.

Then how does the ugly guy pull these fine babes? Sure, he could know her from work or through a friend, in which cases she was able to learn he had some kind of status, or that he had a lot of money, but these scenarios can't be the case for every ugly guy coupled with a hot woman. I've seen for myself, this guy straight from Africa, who's unattractive(I don't mean that in any racist way at all, I'm the last guy to be a racist), cold-approach 2 fine white women with superb success. These weren't the type of white women who act and dress black either..they were your typical hot white chicks from the burbs. Anyway, one of them blew him off after about 20 minutes of talking to him, and the other starting grinding her ass on his d*ck within about 30 seconds of talking to him after he cold-approached her. So, I'm still not convinced that looks matter to the greater population of women. As I say over and over, yes, from what I've been able to observe, looks do matter, but that only accounts for maybe 20% of women or so, while the greater majority it appears, don't give a sh*t.

 

[Tazman]

Then how does the ugly guy pull these fine babes?

Guys claim to see this a lot on this board, but I have yet to see this myself in reality. I think we tend to see these guys as less attractive (they probably fall into more of the "average" category) than women see them.

If a guy is straight up ugly he's going to have a hard time pulling good looking women, that's just the way it goes. It's not impossible, but it's one hell of a challenge. Pure confidence ain't gonna cut it. Women appreciate confidence in a man, it's a desirable trait, but you aren't only evaluated on confidence alone.

Also, if you don't know how everything played out after the club closed (as in, did he hook up with her later?) it doesn't mean his efforts took him any further than a grind session, which I've seen countless times.

As I say over and over, yes, from what I've been able to observe, looks do matter, but that only accounts for maybe 20% of women or so, while the greater majority it appears, don't give a sh*t.

It's all about opportunity.

Lets say you have 2 guys, one is handsome and confident and the other is average looking and confident. Handsome guy doesn't really give off a vibe or makes an effort to approach HB8, but average guy walks up to HB8 and not only talks to her, but asks for her number.

9 times out of 10, I guarantee the average guy will get the HB because he takes more risks, he puts himself out there more, not just stand by hoping to get a huge green light. Women want to be approached because it measures 2 things, their own level of attractiveness and the confidence of the guy that approaches.

Average is not ugly, which is what I believe guys are seeing when they describe an ugly guy with a hot chick.

 

[edger]

Also, if you don't know how everything played out after the club closed (as in, did he hook up with her later?) it doesn't mean his efforts took him any further than a grind session, which I've seen countless times.

It's all about opportunity.

Lets say you have 2 guys, one is handsome and confident and the other is average looking and confident. Handsome guy doesn't really give off a vibe or makes an effort to approach HB8, but average guy walks up to HB8 and not only talks to her, but asks for her number.

9 times out of 10, I guarantee the average guy will get the HB because he takes more risks, he puts himself out there more, not just stand by hoping to get a huge green light. Women want to be approached because it measures 2 things, their own level of attractiveness and the confidence of the guy that approaches.

Average is not ugly, which is what I believe guys are seeing when they describe an ugly guy with a hot chick.

From your perspective, in order for a guy to hook up with a hot woman, he must be equal to her in looks. But in this post, you're claiming that an average-looking guy CAN hook up with a hottie whom he doesn't measure up to in looks. These two claims contradict each other.

The other thing I want to mention, is the scenario in which the hot chick will grind with the average-looking guy, but won't take it any further. Now, if she's going to grind her ass on his d*ck at the club(which is really a form of sex, just like any other) and go that far, then it would make sense that she'd have no problem having other forms of sex with him too, including intercourse.

 

[Trader]

From your perspective, in order for a guy to hook up with a hot woman, he must be equal to her in looks. But in this post, you're claiming that an average-looking guy CAN hook up with a hottie whom he doesn't measure up to in looks. These two claims contradict each other.

The other thing I want to mention is the scenario in which the hot chick will grind with the average-looking guy, but won't take it any further. Now, if she's going to grind her ass on his d*ck at the club(which is really a form of sex, just like any other) and go that far, then it would make sense that she'd have no problem with having other forms of sex with him too, including intercourse.

Let's make it clear that we are talking only about clubs only

In a pure club environment where the music is loud and you can't really talk to the girl - it basically becomes a meat market - looks take over - that's all a girl can screen you on

In normal social environments - girls look at the whole package. So yes the average looking guy can get hot girls.

 

[edger]

In a pure club environment where the music is loud and you can't really talk to the girl - it basically becomes a meat market - looks take over - that's all a girl can screen you on

Ok, then tell me why I have seen avg.-looking/below avg.-looking guys getting their d*cks stroked by the asses of hot women in these clubs whom they cold-approached? Why do I personally know a guy who isn't the best looking of guys out there, cold-approach 2 very attractive women with superb success, one of whom started grinding her ass on his crotch within 30 seconds of cold-approaching her? And no, I'm pretty sure she they weren't drunk either.

 

[Trader]

Ok, then tell me why I have seen avg.-looking/below avg.-looking guys getting their d*cks stroked by the asses of hot women in these clubs whom they cold-approached? Why do I personally know a guy who isn't the best looking of guys out there, cold-approach 2 very attractive women with superb success, one of whom started grinding her ass on his crotch within 30 seconds of cold-approaching her? And no, I'm pretty sure she they weren't drunk either.

Oh I'm sure below average looking guys can get girls in clubs - it's *possible*.

You just answered your own question: he obviously did something right with the cold-approach - probably pure self-confidence and assuming attraction.

 

[Tazman]

From your perspective, in order for a guy to hook up with a hot woman, he must be equal to her in looks. But in this post, you're claiming that an average-looking guy CAN hook up with a hottie whom he doesn't measure up to in looks. These two claims contradict each other.

No I'm not saying he HAS to equal her in looks, but he has to have something else going for him to make up for whatever deficits he has in the looks department. Women aren't simply attracted to one thing about a guy, it's a multitude of things and it also depends on the woman's life experience and circumstances.

In the majority of cases people who end up together are very similar in looks. Tell me you don't see this all the time. I wouldn't just go by what you see at clubs, they're also very popular spots for AWs.

The other thing I want to mention, is the scenario in which the hot chick will grind with the average-looking guy, but won't take it any further. Now, if she's going to grind her ass on his d*ck at the club(which is really a form of sex, just like any other) and go that far, then it would make sense that she'd have no problem having other forms of sex with him too, including intercourse.

That could very well be the case, but you could also be elevating these women higher than they ought to be (you'd be surprised what clothes and makeup can do for average women). Remember, we have no interest in f-cking guys (being straight of course) so we really don't spend a whole lot of time evaluating them like women do.

How many guys that these women are really attracted to approach them? Probably very little to none. So what are they left with? Women don't sit around waiting for the best guys to come get them, they'll make do until the opportunity arises, if it ever happens.

If a chick likes the way you look, you get a free pass to approach without all the bells and whistles, but if you don't take advantage of it you'll get passed up for a guy who makes more of an effort even if he's less attractive than you. In some cases good looking guys have to make MORE of an effort because of the intimidation factor, which was the point of this thread.

 

[edger]

No I'm not saying he HAS to equal her in looks, but he has to have something else going for him to make up for whatever deficits he has in the looks department. Women aren't simply attracted to one thing about a guy, it's a multitude of things and it also depends on the woman's life experience and circumstances.

I agree, women are attracted to a multitude of things in a guy. A guys good-looks alone isn't enough to seal the deal. I always mention that. I've yet to find a woman who will have sex with a guy based on just his good-looks alone. Us on the other hand, don't operate like that. As long as she looks good and at least isn't mentally retarded or suffers from Cerebral Paulsey, we'll f*ck her.

In the majority of cases people who end up together are very similar in looks. Tell me you don't see this all the time. I wouldn't just go by what you see at clubs, they're also very popular spots for AWs.

Taz, I honestly don't see that out there, I see just the opposite; where the majority of these hot women are with average to below average-looking men. And I don't just see this in the club/bar environment, I notice it EVERYWHERE; the mall, the grocery store, on the street, etc. etc. It's literally an actual breath of fresh air when I see a good-looking guy coupled with an attractive woman. That's how prevalent these couples are. I don't know bro, I really don't know what to say, we're just observing different things. I believe what you're saying, I just don't know what to say. Everyone has a different experience.

How many guys that these women are really attracted to approach them? Probably very little to none. So what are they left with? Women don't sit around waiting for the best guys to come get them, they'll make do until the opportunity arises, if it ever happens.

If a chick likes the way you look, you get a free pass to approach without all the bells and whistles, but if you don't take advantage of it you'll get passed up for a guy who makes more of an effort even if he's less attractive than you. In some cases good looking guys have to make MORE of an effort because of the intimidation factor, which was the point of this thread.

See, I can't agree with you here. If the good-looking guys are that reluctant to go over to the hot women who are sending them vibes(IOI's), it only makes sense that she'd approach the good-looking guy in one last attempt, before she settles for the avg./below avg.-looking guy. And lots of times, even after making that last attempt, I still don't think she'd settle. Women don't "settle" like a lot of guys here seem to think, particularly attractive ones. If that were the case, then we'd all be pulling ass on here instead of ranting about how much of a hole we're in with women. Such boards like these would hardly have any activity, let alone exist. Look at that British chick I semi-hooked up with a few months ago. If you remember me saying in that thread I created about her, she told me it had been a year since her hot friend had sex, how she waited that long because "she's very picky". I wish some women would chime in on this particular topic. This is what I mean about no women imput on these boards, which can be extremely helpful. But I forgot, none of them want to spill the beans, for fear the man will know too much and gain the upper-hand or something.

 

[edger]

Oh I'm sure below average looking guys can get girls in clubs - it's *possible*.

Very possible. More like a fact.

 

[Jitterbug]

Are we still supposed to feel sorry for a good-looking guy who can't get laid in New York City? It's getting old.

 

[Tazman]

See, I can't agree with you here. If the good-looking guys are that reluctant to go over to the hot women who are sending them vibes(IOI's), it only makes sense that she'd approach the good-looking guy in one last attempt, before she settles for the avg./below avg.-looking guy.

That's just it though, women don't approach men, which is why they settle for the best guy that makes an effort to approach them.

Our dilemma is the approach, their dilemma is being approached by the guys they really want.

If you think guys are afraid of rejection, we really have nothing on women, they fear it like the plague. Their whole strategy involves doing everything they can, covertly.

 

[edger]

It's getting old.

Then why you reading it? You have a choice; if you don't favor my posts, then don't chime in. The choice is clear. You're lucky you're not going through this. It could be you, or someday CAN be you, so don't mock others.

 

[edger]

That's just it though, women don't approach men, which is why they settle for the best guy that makes an effort to approach them.

Our dilemma is the approach, their dilemma is being approached by the guys they really want.

If you think guys are afraid of rejection, we really have nothing on women, they fear it like the plague. Their whole strategy involves doing everything they can, covertly.

Women can approach both just as easily and as fearfully as guys. Unattractive women for example, are notorious for pursuing and approaching guys. I can count into the hundreds how many times in my life I've been come-onto or been approached by unattractive women, whether in person, on the internet, etc., etc. Attractive women on the other hand, don't need to approach men, because they are always being approached, which is simply why the majority of them don't approach. It's not a loss for them, because they know the next guy's gonna come by 10 minutes later. Their ride is always coming(if you know what I mean, lol). I know you already know all this. It's so 'Women 101'. Let me point something out: if these unattractive women are approaching out of desperateness, as their last resort because guys don't approach them, then what would make attractive women any different, why can't they do the same? See what I'm saying? These attractive women aren't getting the guys they want to approach them, just like the unattractive women aren't getting the guys THEY want to approach them, so doesn't it make sense the attractive women should be taking the same course of action, which is approaching? They're both women, they aren't any different, besides one being ugly and the other being attractive. So, the theme here, is, attractive women can approach the men they want, it's just that they don't, because they don't need to, and it's really not much of a loss for them if they don't, because they'll find another guy they're interested in 10 minutes later(or the next day) who will approach them. If guys suddenly stopped approaching hot women, you'd see how fast they'd start approaching men.

Now let's say these attractive women are "settling", like you insist. If they are settling for all these guys, then why is the rejection rate so painfully high for men? Why are all these men ending up unsuccessful when they cold-approach women, then flood boards and sites like these and vent their frustrations? Like I said, if it were that easy, then all these pick-up sites, books, and articles, shouldn't exist.

 

[Tazman]

Some random quotes by women who were asked if they were shy/intimidated by guys they were attracted to.

I'm not shy around most people, but the more interested in a man the more shy I tend to be. Working on fighting this though after realizing I've probably totally been scaring off the good ones by pretending to be "cool".

yes, I am shy around men, more so if I am attracted to them.......in my teens, I would run away from a guy who showed interest, but now I'm one step ahead, I don't run but can't hold their eyes.

I also get silly nervous habits (I either become really chatty or silent) and I tend to react oppositely to a guys flirting attempts.

the more I'm attracted to a man, the more of a muted idiot I am! My brain shuts off and my mouth fills up with cotton. It's quite the phenomenon because normally I'm very chatty, intelligent, seriously witty and quite fun. Which makes the whole brain malfunction all the more frustrating!

As a general rule, I am quite comfortable around men, regardless of what they look like. However, I have this Doctor who is quite handsome, a little too handsome. He is always chatting with me, asking me personal questions and not about my health, it is very clear that he has an interest in me. However, I tend to clam up around him, I tend to purposely disengage myself from him, not sure why I do this.

I went out with this incredibly nice, gorgeous guy and he dumped me after two dates because he said that we didn't have any chemistry. I liked him so much that I was so nervous being around him. It was really strange because I am an actress and I can talk to perfect strangers and make them laugh so I thought that shyness was a thing of the past. I tried to be myself but this "lobotomized" me kept creeping out. Well, that was about 8 months ago and I haven't met anyone as decent as him.

The first day I met him, I remember thinking he was going to be some weird scrawny nerd. The second I stepped out of the car and saw him, my eyes looked like a deer in the head lights. I got uncharacteristically quiet, and giggled nervously the rest of the night. Unfortunately, I never did over come this intimidation. After months of dating I felt like I was stuck in some box and my personality just couldn't get out. He had grown accustomed to the shy and quiet girl and that just wasn't me.

I tried to bust out my personality, and he called it intense. Our relationship deteriorated after that. To be honest, I acted worse and worse till he rejected me. To this day when he contacts me I act poorly to make myself undesirable. I just couldn't take everything that came with perfect on paper, felt suffocated by the situation, and would have never really been happy. For a time I tried to become part of his world, but then it would seem odd, like why are you doing this for someone you're just dating.

 

[8YearLurker]

^ Those are pretty interesting... are those quotes from friends of yours? Definitely proof that women may not act attracted to you when they truly are. In fact they act the opposite often times.


I don't want to insult anyone so please don't take any offense but...


Are people here actually wishing they were Hot Girls so their lives would be easier?????? Something is so so wrong about that!

 

[Tazman]

The point I've been trying to make is that you have to be more assertive with women and in some cases if you're a good looking guy you have to go that extra mile because women can be more intimidated by you than someone of more average looks..

are those quotes from friends of yours?

These are postings by random women on message forums, but I've seen these things play out through my own experiences many, many times.

You have to push passed it or move on to women who are more receptive.

 

[Trader]

The point I've been trying to make is that you have to be more assertive with women and in some cases if you're a good looking guy you have to go that extra mile because women can be more intimidated by you than someone of more average looks..

These are postings by random women on message forums, but I've seen these things play out through my own experiences many, many times.

You have to push passed it or move on to women who are more receptive.

Well I'm not that attractive, probably like a 5 or 6.

But I can attest to the fact that if girls like you A LOT, they will get really nervous when they are around you.

Remember, there is a difference between a girl ignoring you (no interest) VS a girl being really nervous around you (this could be high interest)