Never realized how intimidated a woman could be of a guy until...

[edger]

But you have it a lot easier than an ugly girl

That's true, I totally forgot about the ugly ones. Yeah, life is cruel for both parties(men and ugly women). I don't know what to say, I really don't, it's sad. I just wish everyone could be happy.

 

[trent81]

I consider ugly women, unlucky men.....Edger, I am so disappointed on how society in general treats hot chicks with no consequences whatsoever. But such is life. I hooked up with a married woman that was an HB9, when it was said and done she completely disappeared on me, and I'm guessing the husband was okay with it when he found out she was cheating. Can you imagine if she was an HB5 and the husband being okay with that? No way. She got away with murder from both me and her husband. That is life though, nothing we can do about it. The trick is to be a good looking or a rich man so that she now has to find YOU and not you find her. Once you possess looks or money, you too can get away with anything you want when it comes to society. It's just that most of the time you have to work for success, they usually don't.

 

[edger]

I consider ugly women, unlucky men.....Edger, I am so disappointed on how society in general treats hot chicks with no consequences whatsoever. But such is life. I hooked up with a married woman that was an HB9, when it was said and done she completely disappeared on me, and I'm guessing the husband was okay with it when he found out she was cheating. Can you imagine if she was an HB5 and the husband being okay with that? No way. She got away with murder from both me and her husband. That is life though, nothing we can do about it. The trick is to be a good looking or a rich man so that she now has to find YOU and not you find her. Once you possess looks or money, you too can get away with anything you want when it comes to society. It's just that most of the time you have to work for success, they usually don't.

Even being good-looking doesn't help much, as I've been saying so profusely these past few yrs. Yeah, I may talk about how these hot women cold-approach me, but it's still very rare. The greater majority of times this doesn't happen and the greater majority of times, I don't get vibes(IOI's). Look, I haven't gotten laid on my own since April 2007. That should speak for itself. Sure, I mean, opportunities in the past few yrs have passed me by either because it wasn't a good timing, the appropriate place, or I chickened out...but yet there's still no gurantee I would've gotten laid by these women. Look what happened to me this past Saturday(and this chick approached ME). But to get back on track with respect to the discussion, no, it doesn't matter how good-looking you are as a guy, because attraction for the majority of women out there works completely different than it does for us.

 

[Tazman]

But to get back on track with respect to the discussion, no, it doesn't matter how good-looking you are as a guy, because attraction for the majority of women out there works completely different than it does for us.

I wouldn't say it "doesn't" matter, in fact it can make things easier for you if you know how to take advantage of it. I'm not going to say I'm a great looking guy because I don't think I can properly gauge that myself, but I will say there are women out there who are attracted to me and those women made it easy for me to get laid.

There was a time when I was insecure about my appearance, but I had to make a serious effort to get beyond it because it was really hurting my confidence. Most times, all it took for me was to be more "proactive".

Before I knew a whole lot about attraction I used to wonder why some women seemed to act strange around me, avoiding eye contact, acting aloof, even catching attitudes, etc. It would really piss me off because I didn't do anything to deserve it, I wasn't staring at these women, I wasn't rude, I didn't even know them, yet it seemed they had a problem with me.

I described a situation to a friend where this decent looking female cashier rang me up without a greeting the way she did every customer before me, and she held her head down with her hair covering her face the entire time. I was so pissed off I didn't say anything, grabbed my change and left.

Then it was suggested to me that she might have liked me. I never thought about these situations like that before, I figured there was something about me women hated. Once in a while I'd get a nice smile, but of course I only thought about the seemingly negative reactions.

This is how some women behave toward guys they like, but there's a way for you to diffuse it. Simply act like it doesn't phase you and continue being the person you are, polite, friendly etc. You'd be surprised at how different they act when you see them a second time, if you see them again that is.

I was sh-t tested by a police woman (of all people, lol). I was going through a security check point where I needed a sheet of paper with authorization to enter a gate. They usually hand it to you after everything checks out. I never received one when I walked back to my vehicle so I asked this woman if i could get one. She told me she put it on my dash, which she did, I just didn't see it. I said "Oh, ok thank you".

As I was getting ready to pull off she says "Don't worry about me, I'm on top of my game" in a real *****y way. Rather than get pissed like usual, I just smiled and said "Oh you are are you?" and drove off. I was still annoyed, but I pretended like it didn't effect me. Guess who I started running into on the job all of a sudden, who was also as nice as could be when she saw me? It always seems to come back to this, when dealing with women you have to literally push past their BS to get what you want, whether that be an actual hook up or rejection.

 

[jophil28]

A lot of you guys forget tha a hot woman's looks will fade rapidly after their late 30's and by age 50 or so, most are just another middle aged woman in the crowd.
Women lose their most valuable asset...looks. Nature transfers attractiveness to their daughters.
Men on the other hand keep their wealth, and their status and usually increase their wisdom and sharpen their skills over time..

Who is better placed ?

You guys are at that age when you see 25 year old Hotties getting whatever they want. I am old enough to see their mothers' being brushed aside and ignored.

 

[edger]

I wouldn't say it "doesn't" matter, in fact it can make things easier for you if you know how to take advantage of it.

I'm saying, to the GREATER MAJORITY of women it doesn't matter. Most women aren't phased by a good-looking guy. She'll just pass him up on the street or in a club, looking straight ahead and not even look at him. The only conclusion one could draw from that is, they don't care how good-looking you are, because if they did, they'd make it a point to look at you/check you out. Now, the ones that ARE phased by a guys looks, still aren't a guaranteed f*ck. Those are the ones that your looks only get you in the door with. The rest from there depends on the game you spit to them. And the greater majority of times, in my experience, after my looks have gotten me in the door, they've eventually blown me off or acted uninterested.

 

[zekko]

A lot of you guys forget tha a hot woman's looks will fade rapidly after their late 30's and by age 50 or so, most are just another middle aged woman in the crowd.

Really good point, jophil. The cruelty of life that seems to balance things in favor of the female early on because of her beauty swings back the other way as they get older. I can't help but feel a little sympathy toward the mothers as their daughters draw all the attention that they used to get.

Honestly, I'm amazed that they seem to handle it as well as they do. Can you imagine the drastic change in the way they are treated that they must go through? Women tend to have better support systems than men do, so that probably helps them.

 

[Tazman]

I'm saying, to the GREATER MAJORITY of women it doesn't matter. Most women aren't phased by a good-looking guy. She'll just pass him up on the street or in a club, looking straight ahead and not even look at him. The only conclusion one could draw from that is, they don't care how good-looking you are, because if they did, they'd make it a point to look at you/check you out. Now, the ones that ARE phased by a guys looks, still aren't a guaranteed f*ck. Those are the ones that your looks only get you in the door with. The rest from there depends on the game you spit to them. And the greater majority of times, in my experience, after my looks have gotten me in the door, they've eventually blown me off or acted uninterested.

Did you stop reading after what you quoted above? I tried to explain more about my reasoning.

I'm not some PUA guru or anything and I don't cold approach. I look for IOIs and decide based on that whether or not I should approach. I've known a number of women who acted like they either didn't like me or weren't particularly interested either way, who turned out harboring some kind of attraction. I'm not always 100% right on this, but it's happened enough for me to guess with reasonable accuracy.

If you believe your looks got your foot in the door, you must be doing something to turn these women off. When you say you they blow you off, how are they doing this and what lead up to it?

Any time I correctly guess that a chick likes me and I hang out with her, it's been really easy for me to move forward. That's why I don't get what you're saying about them being attracted to you enough to get your foot in the door then becoming completely disinterested.

I can't be that lucky. Sounds like there's some missing information. Women aren't this complicated. They aren't all out for looks primarily like we are, but they don't only f-ck rich, alpha males either. Especially since I'm not either of those things (however, I'm not a doormat either).

 

[edger]

If you believe your looks got your foot in the door, you must be doing something to turn these women off. When you say you they blow you off, how are they doing this and what lead up to it?

Any time I correctly guess that a chick likes me and I hang out with her, it's been really easy for me to move forward. That's why I don't get what you're saying about them being attracted to you enough to get your foot in the door then becoming completely disinterested.

Well, usually they'll just stop initiating conversation, and I'll be the one left trying to initiate, as if I'm pulling teeth almost. Their body language towards me changes, etc. You know how it is when a woman's not interested. What happened to me last week, was, this chick taps me on the shoulder and asks me what sign(zodiac sign) I am. I playfully tell her to guess, saying to her, "what do I seem like?". I finally tell her and she's like, "Oh I thought you were also another sign. Me and my friend have been trying to guess for a while what you were, because you seem to have certain characteristics of such and such sign. So that conversation eventually leads into where we're both from. Random bullsh*ting. During the conversation, she puts her hand on my shoulder and everything. During the conversation, she's looking at me with those "I'm really into you eyes". So we're chatting for about 5 minutes, and next thing I know, she sits down on the bench with her friend, which is right next to them, and they both start bullsh*ting. She leaves me there standing. Now, it would only make sense to say that a woman who's interested in you, isn't going to abruptly sit down like that. She's going to stand right next to you and continue on with the conversation. So, after she sat down, I stood there for about a minute bopping my head to the music, acting like I was still having fun. She didn't say a word or try to get my attention once. So I'm like, "Ah, here we go again" and kinda laugh to myself. But by this time I'm so used to it, that I'm not even in shock. I've devloped a tough skin to it over the yrs.

Taz, you're right, there's no reason it should be this complicated, especially if the woman did the approach, plenty of guys in these situations have great success...but for some odd, odd reason(that perplexes the sh*t out of me beyond imaginability), I'm not. I truly wish I could explain it, but I'm at a loss for words, believe me. I'm not even gonna mention my game in this thread because it'll only get overlooked. If there was one problem with my game that night, it was that I didn't crack any jokes(but yet again, she really didn't give me much of a chance to start cracking jokes, because the intereaction was only 5 or so minutes). I thought about cracking this one joke, but held back, just because I had thought of it a little too late, and if I would've cracked the joke, it would've looked lame because it would've been a delayed reaction. And also maybe because at one point, briefly, I wasn't looking her in the eye as I talked. But I naturally do that sometimes as I'm talking to people. Sometimes as a person talks, their eyes scan the room and they're looking in another direction. It's normal. They're just observing their surrounding's. It doesn't mean they're nervous, shy, or any crap like that. But if anything, those are the only 2 possible things I could think of. I don't know man, my whole life with women is just a total mind-f*ck.

 

[Tazman]

You don't realize how right you are about women being "intimidated" by men, especially ones they like.

There are some women who will go that extra mile and some simply can't muster the nerve to do anything. What I would've done in the situation you just described is tapped the girl on the shoulder (before leaving) and asked for her number.

Trust me, I used to sit back and analyze things (I still do to an extent) but there came a point when I had to "act", as in go for the number so I could set something up to isolate/escalate.

An example of female paranoia:

I know a woman who is seeing one of my friends, I know she likes me, but of course I'd never do anything with her because of my friend (that and I'm not really attracted to her). She's actually very nice so I'm friendly with her, as in we've bought each other gifts, she invites me over for food, etc.

One time I was over her house and after exchanging christmas gifts I went to give her a hug and she gave me kind of a half hug, which I thought was strange. It was only a customary hug that everyone was giving each other. I laughed because I knew she was just that nervous about it, but things get interesting when her sister is around.

I'm also very friendly with her sister but she isn't as insecure and every time I see her she gives me a nice big hug. This obviously causes some jealousy because when the nervous sister sees this she becomes much more affectionate with me, like she's competing or something. It's really funny to observe.

I think your problem is simply closing the deal. Whenever I get the feeling that I may be losing a possible lead I make sure to at least get a number so I can call at a later time to set something up. If you do this and get a flake then you can safely abandon ship knowing you put forth the necessary effort. If you try to protect your pride/ego too much you end up missing out on opportunities that only required a little more of a push from you.

Women are passive like that, even when they like you they're trying to protect their own ego at all times. If a chick just starts talking to you out of the blue, it's safe to assume she likes you. Even if she does some confusing things, just assume the sale. Women don't approach random guys for conversation just for the hell of it.

 

[Nutz]

I can't help but wonder what would have happened if the friend told her,

"Nah, he only dates models and really hot girls. Lucky for you you're more my type." :wink:

Regardless of how it went down that'd make for a funny story later.

 

[jophil28]

What happened to me last week, was, this chick taps me on the shoulder and asks me what sign(zodiac sign) I am. I playfully tell her to guess, saying to her, "what do I seem like?". I finally tell her and she's like, "Oh I thought you were also another sign. Me and my friend have been trying to guess for a while what you were, because you seem to have certain characteristics of such and such sign.

Edger, this woman had done her job at this point .In fact she did MORE that most women would have done- she approached you with a PUA type opener and initiated a convo. Her expectations then would have been that you DO something to further foster the connection. After all she spoke to you by positioning herself in front of you because she WANTED to speak to you to give you an opportunity to " make a move" . NOw I am not suggesting that you drag her into a back alley BUT she wanted you to ACT, not just wait for her to talk some more.

 

[zekko]

Edger, this woman had done her job at this point .In fact she did MORE that most women would have done- she approached you with a PUA type opener and initiated a convo. Her expectations then would have been that you DO something to further foster the connection.

I agree with this. And it really does sound like a PUA opener.
The only other thing I would say is how long do you need a conversation to go on? Five minutes sounds fine to me, did you want her to stand there and talk to you for hours? She was with a friend after all. You should have gotten a number.

 

[edger]

You don't realize how right you are about women being "intimidated" by men, especially ones they like.

There are some women who will go that extra mile and some simply can't muster the nerve to do anything. What I would've done in the situation you just described is tapped the girl on the shoulder (before leaving) and asked for her number.

Trust me, I used to sit back and analyze things (I still do to an extent) but there came a point when I had to "act", as in go for the number so I could set something up to isolate/escalate.

An example of female paranoia:

I know a woman who is seeing one of my friends, I know she likes me, but of course I'd never do anything with her because of my friend (that and I'm not really attracted to her). She's actually very nice so I'm friendly with her, as in we've bought each other gifts, she invites me over for food, etc.

One time I was over her house and after exchanging christmas gifts I went to give her a hug and she gave me kind of a half hug, which I thought was strange. It was only a customary hug that everyone was giving each other. I laughed because I knew she was just that nervous about it, but things get interesting when her sister is around.

I'm also very friendly with her sister but she isn't as insecure and every time I see her she gives me a nice big hug. This obviously causes some jealousy because when the nervous sister sees this she becomes much more affectionate with me, like she's competing or something. It's really funny to observe.

I think your problem is simply closing the deal. Whenever I get the feeling that I may be losing a possible lead I make sure to at least get a number so I can call at a later time to set something up. If you do this and get a flake then you can safely abandon ship knowing you put forth the necessary effort. If you try to protect your pride/ego too much you end up missing out on opportunities that only required a little more of a push from you.

Women are passive like that, even when they like you they're trying to protect their own ego at all times. If a chick just starts talking to you out of the blue, it's safe to assume she likes you. Even if she does some confusing things, just assume the sale. Women don't approach random guys for conversation just for the hell of it.

Taz, I see were you're coming from, that sometimes you just have to act and assume the sale, but I'm one of those people who hates to put his pride aside unless he really has to. I've tried to follow that approach, but it's hard. It feels like I'm going against nature. It doesn't feel right. And I also don't want to appear as "that guy who doesn't get it(the hint that she's not interested)" if in fact she's not interested. But like you said though, sometimes women do certain things when they are in fact interested. Problem is, you don't always know when they are and aren't. What also doesn't make sense, is, if this chick was nervous, then why would she approach me? In the greater majority of cases, nervous people don't do that.

 

[edger]

Her expectations then would have been that you DO something to further foster the connection. After all she spoke to you by positioning herself in front of you because she WANTED to speak to you to give you an opportunity to " make a move" . NOw I am not suggesting that you drag her into a back alley BUT she wanted you to ACT, not just wait for her to talk some more.

What more can I have done to foster the connection? I was inititiating and keeping the conversation flowing. What more can I have done to act? I was only talking to her for about 5 minutes, I would think it would be too soon to isolate her and walk over to the bar or drag her onto the dancefloor, if that's what you mean. I've always seen it as best to talk for about 7-10 minutes max and get some little good rapport going, and then isolate her. 7-10 minutes goes by pretty damn quickly when you're talking to someone for the first time. It actually felt like I was talking to this chick for 2 minutes to be honest with you. Also Jophil, she SAT down - which nonverbally translates to(though not always) "I'm not interested in you". When you're in the middle of talking to someone, do you sit down?

 

[kody_starr]

It sounds like you have one-itis for a woman you've never even met. One-itis is a bad idea even when you have dated/slept with a girl already but one you've never even met?

Move on, I'm sure there are other attractive women in your city. Don't obsess over a complete stranger.

edit: I notice you'll analyze some opportunity you lost, or think you lost, for pages and pages on end. When it's done, just move on. Put it out of your mind and focus on right now.

 

[edger]

It sounds like you have one-itis for a woman you've never even met. One-itis is a bad idea even when you have dated/slept with a girl already but one you've never even met?

Move on, I'm sure there are other attractive women in your city. Don't obsess over a complete stranger.

edit: I notice you'll analyze some opportunity you lost, or think you lost, for pages and pages on end. When it's done, just move on. Put it out of your mind and focus on right now.

Lol, no one-itis here I can assure you. Back in the day, sure, but those days are long gone. Reason I'm talking about this is because I'm trying to put things in perspective and see where and if I'm doing anything weak.

 

[kody_starr]

There's nothing to "put into perspective." If you see her again, you'll open. If you don't, you won't. Everything else is madness.

 

[edger]

There's nothing to "put into perspective."

If you say so.

 

[jophil28]

What more can I have done to foster the connection? I was inititiating and keeping the conversation flowing. What more can I have done to act? I was only talking to her for about 5 minutes, I would think it would be too soon to isolate her and walk over to the bar or drag her onto the dancefloor, if that's what you mean. I've always seen it as best to talk for about 7-10 minutes max and get some little good rapport going, and then isolate her. 7-10 minutes goes by pretty damn quickly when you're talking to someone for the first time. It actually felt like I was talking to this chick for 2 minutes to be honest with you. Also Jophil, she SAT down - which nonverbally translates to(though not always) "I'm not interested in you". When you're in the middle of talking to someone, do you sit down?

This situation is difficult to unravel. YOU are somewhat bewildered by her apparent disconnect and YOU were there. I am way down here...I really have no clue about what 'went wrong'.
MY earlier comment was to point out that she had some attraction to you ( or at least she was intrigued enough to approach) and then it seemed to tank rapidly without reason, however there is always a reason, but it may never be known.