Never Give Up on Her

[h a r d a s s]

I have seen too many turnarounds and comebacks in all aspects of life to ever believe that giving up is the healthy thing to do. Chances are you came here because of one girl. You may have coined a negative term “one-itis” to help distract yourself and become interested in other girls. But to give up on your dream girl is to give up on yourself. Are you really not good enough?? What prick out there is more deserving? I’ve learned how to become a DJ and a player and I must say I look pretty damn successful with women, but you know what at the end of the day I usually feel empty inside. I’m tired of hurting girls, making them fall in love with me when I really don’t care much about them. Do yourself a favor and try, with everything you have. You may have to bust your balls for years! You know you could do it, is it worth it to you? There are two paths man. I’ve made my decision.

 

[RiceHapa888]

I like what you are getting at but for me if I were to bust myself and try my hardest on one girl it gives me a sort of oneitus and in a way makes me less efficient. My new outlook is to not really try to hard with anyone girl anymore but instead try hard on a general basis with all the girls. As far as giving up - sometimes it doesnt work out and I accept that.

 

[Qualtran]

The only thing that needs to be given up is all of the insecurity that prevents an AFC from getting his dream girl. This site does not promote not caring about girls and giving up on your dream girl; it is about living up to your full potential as a man so that you can attain what you desire.

 

[jprjrjr]

You make some decent points, but you can chase your "dream" girl until the cows come home; if she isn't interested, it's an exercise in futility.

There are lots of different "dream" girls. There's no point in chasing one who isn't interested in you.

 

[Sammo]

I think the deal with one-itis is that people coin a girl their "dream girl" as soon as she looks his way for 2 seconds.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by Sammo
"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or a gazelle-when the sun comes up, you’d better be running."

I'm gonna have to disagree with your quote here, Sammo.

If I'm a lion, I wake up and I gotta outrun the slowest gazelle or I'll starve... sure.

But if I'm a gazelle, I wake up and I don't give a damn about outrunning the fastest lion -- all I'm worrying about is outrunning the slowest gazelle, too.

F*ck that slow gazelle, man.

That lion ain't gonna ruin my sh*t as long as I'm not the slowest gazelle.

 

[NRM]

You don't have to give up, you need to move on. What is this dream girl? Your dream girl is probably a girl you'll never get. Cause if you did, she wouldn't be a dream anymore, would she?

It has nothing to do with being good enough. She doesn't want you and you'll have to deal with that. Just like many of the rest of the female population. That doesn't mean you can't think you're the shit for whatever else it is you do.

 

[Climax]

Originally posted by h a r d a s s
I have seen too many turnarounds and comebacks in all aspects of life to ever believe that giving up is the healthy thing to do. Chances are you came here because of one girl. You may have coined a negative term “one-itis” to help distract yourself and become interested in other girls. But to give up on your dream girl is to give up on yourself. Are you really not good enough?? What prick out there is more deserving? I’ve learned how to become a DJ and a player and I must say I look pretty damn successful with women, but you know what at the end of the day I usually feel empty inside. I’m tired of hurting girls, making them fall in love with me when I really don’t care much about them. Do yourself a favor and try, with everything you have. You may have to bust your balls for years! You know you could do it, is it worth it to you? There are two paths man. I’ve made my decision.

I can relate to everything you just said,
h a r d a s s, and I, for a while, decided to go down that path, until I realised that it is too early in my life to be going down that path (path of love, having 1 girl to be with forever, blah di blah), not because I was not ready for it, but because the women in my age group are just not mature enough or ready for a commitment such as a LTR, nor are they emotionally capable of "LOVING" properly. Their emotions control them, rather than the other way around. And because of that, I chose to rather continue playing the fields, getting experience, having fun, and just enjoy my life... for now.

If you are in your 20's etc, then in MY opinion, if you find yourself a woman that is mature enough and is a good match for you, then by all means, give it your all!

When I think to myself about my "love life", I say "I'll continue playing the fields, getting experience, having fun, and just enjoy my life, UNTIL I stumble upon a girl that falls under my "LTR MATERIAL" girl, and then I'll consider giving love another go, but I'm in no rush, and I'm just gonna take what life throws at me


Laterz...

 

[Hound_of_Love]

Originally posted by NRM
You don't have to give up, you need to move on

It took me along time to learn that lesson. Eventually I saw that the biggest reason that I wanted this girl was that she said 'no'. Suddenly my self-worth was in the hands of another...I wasn't good enough for her...

...but that wasn't true. The reasons she didn't like me were in her, not in me. Dammit, I'm good-looking enough, intelligent, confident, reasonably well off...I have all of my own teeth and limbs, she'd be lucky to have me.

So I made it quite clear to her that I was over her and walked with my dignity in tact. Probably the best decision I ever made too. She was nuttier than a big pile of nuts.

 

[JackPrescott]

Originally posted by jprjrjr
You make some decent points, but you can chase your "dream" girl until the cows come home; if she isn't interested, it's an exercise in futility.

There are lots of different "dream" girls. There's no point in chasing one who isn't interested in you.

"An exersize in futility" You have just described the single life for men in America.

 

[h a r d a s s]

why is it that i can never get over this girl? i have a better, sweeter, sexier girl, but i can't seem to fully get over the other one. Thanks for the replies

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by h a r d a s s
why is it that i can never get over this girl? i have a better, sweeter, sexier girl, but i can't seem to fully get over the other one. Thanks for the replies

Because of ego.

 

[NRM]

Originally posted by h a r d a s s
why is it that i can never get over this girl? i have a better, sweeter, sexier girl, but i can't seem to fully get over the other one. Thanks for the replies

Because society imbedded into your mind the idea of "The One" and how you won't be satisfied with your life until you find this "The One" and conquer her ass. You want what you can't have. And if you can't learn to deal with this sort of thing in a positive fashion, you'll be going down the well of defeat for the rest of your life.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

There is no ONE. This is the soulmate myth. There are some good Ones and some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. Anyone telling you anything else is selling you something. There are LOTS of 'special someones' out there for you, just ask the divorced/widowed person who's remarried after their soulmate has died or moved on.

Stop trying to find the ONE out there for you. I about puke everytime I hear the mealy-mouthed voice of that Focus on the Family "Doctor" on the eHarmony commercials playing on stupid women's (and too many men's) fears of never finding security by advertising that they'll find your soul-mate with their 40 question pop-psychology personality test. Blecgh,..! There has never been a more damaging mass-psychosis in the history of humanity than the personal limitations and retardation in maturity that is self-inflicted from people swallowing this soul-mate garbage. But then again I guess no one would get paid to write sappy pop-love songs, produce 'romantic comedies', or write self-help books if people could see through myths like this.


This is what trips people up about the soul-mate myth, it is this fantasy that we all at least in some way share an idealization of; that there is ONE perfect mate for each of us and as soon as the planets align and fate takes it's course we'll know that we're 'intended' for each other. And while this may sell a lot of romance novels it's hardly a realistic way to plan your life. I've been married for 8.5 years and I love my wife dearly, but I know damn well were I to die that she'd marry another suitable guy a few years later. I had a friend commit suicide after 2 kids and 20 years of marriage, because he thought exactly like this, she was the ONE and he couldn't go on without her and she even bought this for the first 17 or so years. This woman started dating a millionaire 3 months after he was buried and married this guy a year later and you know what she tells my wife to this day? He's the ONE. So, you can sing songs about her (or him) and how you are each other's sun and moon, but in the harsh daylight of reality, we all do exactly what our conditions demand from us.

Too many guys think they need to be snipers, focusing in on one particular woman and expending all their effort on that one target, when in fact what they really need is a shotgun. Scatter more effort and pick out the ones that may be good Ones. Spin more plates, the soulmate myth is ultimately self-delusion and self-defeating.

 

[tmpgstx]

Sometimes a girl just hits the spot .. and that doesn't seem to often. One that does this is a 'ten' in my book and should be pursued only if she shows interest in you too.

Life is too dam short not to have the best of what you want. Your pursuit of goals should be relentless.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

It is funny (in a strange funny way, not haha funny) you posted this thread, I had a dream of my "dream girl" a few days ago - it wasn't really that I remember the details of her face or body rather I felt her feminine spirit and she reinforced my masculine nature!! I have this dream once every 5 years or so.

I always wake up feeling good after such a dream - a deep down good!!!

Too bad and sad that it is only a dream and the reality of women today is such a stark contrast to my ideal!!!