need some help

[zachp55]

Alright, I'm a junior in high school and I haven't had a girlfriend in almost 2 yrs. When I got into junior high (7th grade) I had all the confidence in the world and I was really outgoing. I would go up to the hottest chick in the school and ask her out. I had 3 or 4 gf's in like a yr. But when I got to 8th grade, I got all shy. I think I might of started getting self concious and worried about what everyone thought. I mean in 7th grade I thought I was good looking and everything but now I think I'm unattractive and honestly I don't even talk to girls anymore. And it sucks because I want to talk to girls but they just aren't attracted to me. And I really believe a girlfriend would make life so much more fun for me. I have this friend that isn't the best looking kid but he talks to a lot of pretty girls i really don't get it. What I'm really trying to say is, why arent girls attracted to me anymore...? I'll show u pics if u ask but I need some advice on my confidence too. Maybe thats part of it Idk, I really appreciate any help

 

[Pozitron]

If you expect now that girls wouldn't be attracted to you then they will not. This thing happens because you believe it to be true. It's all in your mind, dude.

Change your mindset, change your thinking. Create your reality. Assume that they are attracted to you and if you start to believe that you would basically find evidence of that being true.

Another thing... don't try to be perfect and realize that not every single girl will like you.

You had this,player! You did it not so long ago, you can do it again.

So in my opinion you should do 2 things:

1> Change your mindset ( i think it's like 80% mindset all of this). Start to believe what you used to about yourself. Don't lie to yourself, really feel it.
Don't wait till you're confident enough to do something.
Take action and take every opportunity.
You should assume things are the way you want them to be.

2> Start building your sef- esteem. Start working out. Fo things you like, face fears, learn.. you know the drill.

 

[zachp55]

That's exactly what I've been trying to tell myself, take advantage of every oppertunity. Let's say I see this girl I really want to talk to. I say to myself I'm gonna talk to her but I end up just walking away. I hate it because I regret not talking to her later on. I just wish I had my confidence back man...

 

[Pozitron]

Action comes before confidence.
The right time is now.
I feel you,man. I did the same mistake just today.All alone and didn't tell her what I feel, haven't been honest. Don't wait till you're confident enough. Don't wait for the perfect moment cause it will never come.
Scre* that, just do it.

 

[zachp55]

Ok i got one more question, if I was to go up to a girl at lets say the mall. How should i approach her? Like, what would i say

 

[Nino-Tk]

Yo Zach buddy, let me hala at you for a moment.
1.Calm down. She is just a girl, a little girl that probably wants you but you will never know if you don't approach.
2. After calming down, approach and keep EYE-CONTACT, this is so crucial, it shows you got cojones. Thats good.
3. This is not life and death, talk about whatever the hell it is you wana talk about. Be humorous, it definetly helps. Humor as in exaggeration, swapping roles, or mixing up whatever she says. No need to crack jokes like you mr bean. But keep it light. No stress baby.
4. TELL her you want the number and never ASK. Works all the time player ,especially when you just hand over your phone.
5. Let your intentions be known, well this is up to you but I personally do it to avoid the friendzone. The only time I don't do that is when I'm in a rush.

 

[TheJazz]

And I really believe a girlfriend would make life so much more fun for me.

WRONG. YOU have to make life fun for you. If you can't do that, you're BORING. Now let me ask you, which girl wants to be with a boring guy? You've got the order messed up. Make your life fun, and watch the girls follow.

 

[zachp55]

Ok so nino, I was at this fair today with my cousin and there's these 2 gorgeous blonds checking us out all day. So when it started getting dark we went up to them and I introduced me and my cousin and started a conversation with em. They were kinda shy and nervous it seemed like but I asked if they wanted to walk around with us. They kinda giggled and said sure. So we talked for like 30 mins until they had to leave. The wierd thing is though when I said maybe we should hang out next time I come up to my cottage, she said "possibly". And it wasn't really a good possibly. And then when shr had to go she just kinda left...I guess she didnt wanna keep in touch. But why would she lead us on? Im not kidding, they were smiling at us and stuff all day! Good news is, im getting my confidence back a little. But bad news is, all I got was there names. No numbers or anything. So I guess I need help on the conversation part so I can start getting numbrrs and stuff cause i really wanted to keep in touch with them

 

[Nino-Tk]

Haha let me analyze your situation. Okay lets start with the good stuff you did. Two chicks checking you out- You went and approached. Good stuff...
The chicks were shy and nervous- You are a man with cojones and you didn't bail out or reject yourself. You talked for, 30 minutes you say? Good stuff.

Now on the ish you did. You said "Maybe" we should hangout, which shows you aren't sure yourself hence why she said "Possibly". Next time state it with absolute confidence.
They weren't leading you on, they were waiting for you to make you move, which you didn't make. Thus they thought "Oh he probably wants us as friends" then they left.
30 minutes!? Man, cut the small talk, I hope you realise this girl prolly wanted your dik. Next time be sure with what you want.

Its good you got confidence hey, now turn it on turbo!

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Imagine a 10 turning into a 5 in front of your eyes; that's how it is to be a girl. You didn't show her the qualities she thought you had.
If you approach a chick, you don't do it with the intention or hope of chatting. She wants you to touch, lead and provide that centered fun that she can fluctuate around.

 

[zachp55]

Ok I understand I should of made a move but how do I do abything when were walking around at a fair? I mean, what's the next move? Sorry of I sound dumb, but I'mkinda just learning again

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I just made a reply about that. We're talking kino, being direct, eye contact and all that jazz. Just make a bold move really, like taking her hand.

 

[zachp55]

And u dont think that shell get a little creeped out if i I've only known her for 10mins

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Chicks tend not to get creeped out when I skip every single of those steps and go straight for it in a 10th of that time again. Then again, does it matter if she is creeped out? Unless its like school (hence why I don't really like gaming at school). However my post above still counts from first second, its not creepy, unless you have a needy vibe or something

 

[zachp55]

So your saying I should like touch her more or something

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Obviously. I used my 1000th post to give you advice; you might as well use it.

 

[zachp55]

Hahaha alright ill try it out thanks