Need some help pretty quickly regarding my LTR...

[JackBauer24]

First of all, like Last Man Standing and some other guys have said, the relationship was over the minute she decided to pursue other guys. It's only a matter of time before she gets slammed by one of her new guy friends, if she hasn't already.

Second, it's obvious that you are in way over your head. If you want a hot girlfriend, this is the price you pay. She's going to get hit on 24/7, and unless she's 100% devoted to you, which she isn't, she's going to want to find someone less boring and predictable.

If you want an LTR, find a girl in the 0-5 range. If you want to have sex with a hot girl, bang her, move on, and find another one hotter than her. You can't have your cake and eat it, too.

 

[Justaguy254254]

First of all, like Last Man Standing and some other guys have said, the relationship was over the minute she decided to pursue other guys. It's only a matter of time before she gets slammed by one of her new guy friends, if she hasn't already.

Second, it's obvious that you are in way over your head. If you want a hot girlfriend, this is the price you pay. She's going to get hit on 24/7, and unless she's 100% devoted to you, which she isn't, she's going to want to find someone less boring and predictable.

If you want an LTR, find a girl in the 0-5 range. If you want to have sex with a hot girl, bang her, move on, and find another one hotter than her. You can't have your cake and eat it, too.

I think the problem is the fact she was a virgin when I met her, not that I'm boring and predictable...because I'm not. I knew that going in this was almost certain to happen at some point, and that is true for everyone. The chances are extreeeeeeeeeeeeemely small that a girl, or a guy, is going to be with only one person their entire life.

That's what the problem is. Not any deficiencies on my part. And yea, she's hot, and the first one who impressed her enough to give it up, out of a cast of hundreds, maybe thousands who tried talking to her, was me.

I did pretty well for myself, and had her to myself for over a year. I'm comfortable with that, and I'll move on.

 

[DoctorLW]

I don't see why everyone is hating on an open relationship... that's the best kind of relationship in my opinion. Even if you do decide to dump her, it's easier to go out and get girls while you still have one. Girls just have a 6th sense for that.

Now if you really feel you won't be able to move on if you keep seeing her, then you should probably break up with her.

 

[MacAvoy]

Doc I agree with you about an open relationship but from what the OP has said about this women, he isn't capable of an open relationship with her. He'll be pining for more the whole time and it will end up a disaster for him.

 

[KontrollerX]

Yeah Doc.

Its all like Mac said you have to be that kind of guy from the get go that is all about open relationships and cool with your girl taking it from someother dude.

The OP clearly is not ok with it so open relationships are a no go for him.

 

[LegendaryGame]

Kontroller,

I understand what you're saying but to be a dude whose "cool with your girl taking it from someother dude" I must disagree on. If some dude is plowing my gf, I dont want to see her face or his. Even If I'm tapping on the side, I wouldn't want to even be in relations with a girl who sleeps around with other men and myself. No dice. This will turn into questions about swinging and swinger practices. How many men want that, I know i wouldn't and doubt the OP would as well.

 

[KontrollerX]

Er thats what I'm saying LegendaryGame.

To be cool with an open relationship you have to be the type of guy that is turned on or not bothered at all by your girl getting it from another man while you are both in a relationship together.

Some guys watch their girlfriends get plowed while they do the other guy's girlfriend and are cool with it and some guys just watch period and yet others just approach this type of relationship like a non exclusive relationship where the two people are eachother's main source of intimacy but get it on with other people and occassionally share stories of what they've done with the other people to turn eachother on.

Basically it takes a special or different type of human to engage in this practice and not be emotionally damaged by it.

The OP would not be cool with this type of relationship so he appears to be going the "break" route with his girl where they will get it on with different people for a while but not be together in a relationship with eachother while doing this.

 

[BigAL]

djdan and last man standing are right...she wants other guys, and it is sounding like you have given her the power, where is your personal constitution? she is on the fence and really wants to go to the other side, sh*t man push her over there!! introduce her to the big leagues, she is young and relatively inexperienced, walk away and don't look back, she is a big girl and she's on her own...in fact don't even waste your time meeting her, over the phone tell her "don't call me again" bye!! and btw how much money have you spent on this chick? how many other women have you passed up? what have you put on hold for her? and this is how thanks you.

 

[Justaguy254254]

Er thats what I'm saying LegendaryGame.

To be cool with an open relationship you have to be the type of guy that is turned on or not bothered at all by your girl getting it from another man while you are both in a relationship together.

Some guys watch their girlfriends get plowed while they do the other guy's girlfriend and are cool with it and some guys just watch period and yet others just approach this type of relationship like a non exclusive relationship where the two people are eachother's main source of intimacy but get it on with other people and occassionally share stories of what they've done with the other people to turn eachother on.

Basically it takes a special or different type of human to engage in this practice and not be emotionally damaged by it.

The OP would not be cool with this type of relationship so he appears to be going the "break" route with his girl where they will get it on with different people for a while but not be together in a relationship with eachother while doing this.

Exactly

I don't think it would be good for me to stay in a relationship while she's seeing other people. Best to move on...and if our paths should cross again...meaning she someday wanted to be with me again... well, maybe. But probably not. Such is life.

 

[LegendaryGame]

Kontroller,

Pardon my misunderstanding, you are right. It takes a special man to watch his wife or gf get hammered then tell each other what they did to turn each other on. Thankfully, Justaguy will not fall into this bizarre lifestyle.

 

[MacAvoy]

Legendary, you'd be suprised how many special men there are out there. Check out Johnny Soporno's thread and see how many fans he has for his MLTR rules.

Not all men are insecure.

 

[DonGorgon]

Its been over for a long time.... She is now ready to let you go. Yes she has cheated on you.

 

[Justaguy254254]

It's done...was easy enough. I could tell she was a little upset, and I remained calm...even laughed a little at how silly everything seemed. I felt quite serene, really. I noticed she seemed taken aback and upset when I said that I didn't want to talk anymore...she asked if I wanted to. But the experience wasn't bad at all, in fact quite beneficial to me.

I said good luck in the future... and went home.

 

[Justaguy254254]

djdan and last man standing are right...she wants other guys, and it is sounding like you have given her the power, where is your personal constitution? she is on the fence and really wants to go to the other side, sh*t man push her over there!! introduce her to the big leagues, she is young and relatively inexperienced, walk away and don't look back, she is a big girl and she's on her own...in fact don't even waste your time meeting her, over the phone tell her "don't call me again" bye!! and btw how much money have you spent on this chick? how many other women have you passed up? what have you put on hold for her? and this is how thanks you.

I see your point, and a part of me felt that way when I first heard about it. I did lots of nice things for you, passed up other girls, etc. But I realized as well that she didn't do what she did in a mean and dirty underhanded way. She did what she thought was best for herself, just like everyone else does for themselves. She's never been with anyone else but me and as I've said, I expected it at some point. A part of me though thought that maybe this was a one in a million thing where she would be ok with being only with me...especially since we'd been together a while. That was the part that hurt a bit, but...it wasn't that horrible really.

I told her that I appreciated the fact she didn't sneak around and pretend like everything was ok...and string me along. She has more integrity than most women I've known.

I wanted to go and talk to her in person for my own reasons. I felt very good actually after it was over. Any remaining doubt or annoyance or hurt went away almost like magic.

 

[KontrollerX]

I'm proud of you justaguy.

You've done the right thing for yourself and by her reaction you now have all the power moving forward meaning that if at some point in the future she wants you back it will be completely up to you and on your terms.

You didn't stick it out like many AFC's hoping things would get better or you could keep her and change her mind and then ultimately get the knife in your back as she inevitably went behind your back anyway.

You cut her off at the pass took all the power and came away a winner.

You may eventually feel depressed over your decision and if so time and other girls should fix that in short order.

Good work soldier.

 

[ready123]

I think it's cool that you two can be honest with each other. That's the ideal standard of communication you'd want in a relationship. It sounds like you have a pretty grounded reality too about keeping everything in perspective.

That young, with that little experience, it's hard to commit when you're not sure what's out there. I agree with the others. If she's already vocalizing it, best thing for both of you is to move on. Otherwise, the "what if" question will always be be in the back of her mind.

And deep open relationships are more like swinger relationships, where your POV is that your girl's sexuality doesn't belong to you. If you can't accept the standard of sharing your girl's sexuality with someone else, it's gonna snowball really fast and what seemed like a good idea right now is gonna drive you nuts later.

And I was in the same position as you a few years back. Relationship was drama free, yet it was better for both of us to break it off because of her inexperience. There will be many others

 

[Justaguy254254]

I'm proud of you justaguy.

You've done the right thing for yourself and by her reaction you now have all the power moving forward meaning that if at some point in the future she wants you back it will be completely up to you and on your terms.

You didn't stick it out like many AFC's hoping things would get better or you could keep her and change her mind and then ultimately get the knife in your back as she inevitably went behind your back anyway.

You cut her off at the pass took all the power and came away a winner.

You may eventually feel depressed over your decision and if so time and other girls should fix that in short order.

Good work soldier.

Thank you, I appreciate the nice words and the help. Posting on here has been very helpful to get through the situation. I wish some of you guys were close by, it would be fun to hang out and chase some girls and have a few beers... I enjoy hanging out with interesting people and discussing things.

I need to find some girl who can hold my interest when talking with her. That is what I am missing at the moment. Most are, unfortunately, not terribly interesting to talk with. Ah well

 

[Justaguy254254]

I think it's cool that you two can be honest with each other. That's the ideal standard of communication you'd want in a relationship. It sounds like you have a pretty grounded reality too about keeping everything in perspective.

That young, with that little experience, it's hard to commit when you're not sure what's out there. I agree with the others. If she's already vocalizing it, best thing for both of you is to move on. Otherwise, the "what if" question will always be be in the back of her mind.

And deep open relationships are more like swinger relationships, where your POV is that your girl's sexuality doesn't belong to you. If you can't accept the standard of sharing your girl's sexuality with someone else, it's gonna snowball really fast and what seemed like a good idea right now is gonna drive you nuts later.

And I was in the same position as you a few years back. Relationship was drama free, yet it was better for both of us to break it off because of her inexperience. There will be many others

I liked your post. Your words summarize everything well, and what I've been thinking.

The most difficult part of all this has been the realization that I'm losing a good friend and a good person I was able to relate to very well... that is unfortunate. Of course there are other good people in the world, but sometimes it is tough to find them.

 

[DoctorLW]

You handled this situation pretty well.

Good job man.

 

[drak_ool]

and now the real test starts... the test of time. Will you take her back in a few months after she s done chasing dyck and wants to get back with you? or will you be pounding other hotties and not even think of this girl?