Need some advice guys on letting go and moving on!

[boostinfd]

Oh, boo hoo. There's no fvcking trick. You just do it or you crawl off and die. You get about as much sympathy as those stupid women who stay with abusers when the door is right over there unlocked. Or the fat guy who cries about being fat but can't spend a day away from KFC. Gimme a break.

I barely read this post because it's just a wall of text with pointless information. My goal really isn't to be a d1ck because seriously i just want you to sack up. What the hell do you want from us? If you "can't" do it, what do you want? We can't make you. You already know what to do. Just do it. How about punch yourself in the gut every time you think "i can't do it?" Gotta make you into a man somehow.

I did do it. Thanks for an eye opening. I understand where you're coming from.

R

 

[boostinfd]

Maybe you need to read his other posts. The guy is trying NC again. He came here for help, because he knew deep down he was being AFC...that's better than what a lot of men would do. Not everyone is as tough as you and some men actually come here looking for answers because they're not sure.

This is true! It helps... really does help to read some stuff and get opinion from Men that were in the similiar situation.

Thanks a lot bud.

 

[romangod]

Thanks a lot romangod!

... so i may be very strong today and then 2 days later messed up a bit... But I know myself and I believe in ME! I will overcome this!

Even the reality is that she's not for me... she needs a lot of help of her own... the mind is playing tricks on me and makes me think she's the best that ever happend etc.

Long Road ahead of me... I was with her for 2 years... Feelings will not just disappear overnight unfortunately.

Again, I applaud you on your resolve and courage. You're on the right track and are probably not aware that this is the fork in the road for your future. If you maintain that courage and keep picking yourself up when knocked down the world is at your beck and call. You'll be strong.


I'll give you a hint of when it will be the toughest. It is when she starts seeing someone else. That is when your ego will betray you. That's what happened to me. She adored me during our 3 year LTR and my ego convinced me that I was the greatest thing since sliced bread. I was in good spirits when we broke up and stayed in contact with the occasional booty call. Deep down I always knew she wasn't for me.

Then she started seeing someone else that adored her like she adored me. This is what sent me into a spin. What??!!! I can be replaced? Impossible. But it was possible. My ego deserted me in my time of trouble like the coward it is. My journey to awareness was just beginning and it started with me crawling in pain. On reflection, it was the best thing that happened to me. It made me who I am today and I can honestly say I like who I am.


When I think of her now, it is with good wishes and a quiet thanks for being the catalyst that set me on the path of discovering of who I really am. If I ever run into her again I will confidently look her in the eye and say "Hi" and "Thanks".



Cheers!

P.S. You're welcome.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

ROMANGOD, put an age on your profile. I don't like deleting your posts.

 

[boostinfd]

RomanGod,

Thanks a lot man, I apreciate the comments.
I'm just curious, how long did it take you to overcome your 3 year LTR? You're saying it was ok for a while until she got someone else... When did that happen?

I pray to God that even if she does get someone else... I don't find out at least not for a month... then after that, it'll crush me a little, but i'll get over it.

 

[vatoloco]

Dr. Vatoloco's Rx for a severe case of ONEitis? NC + spinning MULTIPLE plates

Repeat until symptoms subside.

Seriously now, you have to FORCE yourself to date other women. There's no other way. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy but that's what you have to do.

 

[boostinfd]

I would really love to do that... but i feel like the condition i'm in... i doubt i'd be able to spinn a spoon let alone a plate...

Which girl would want to talk to me now in this condition?? Sh!t, even all the openers, nags etc. etc. i used in the past... pretty much gone... It's been 2 years since i've really been "out there"

Need to remind myself of all that stuff again...

 

[Kailex]

I would really love to do that... but i feel like the condition i'm in... i doubt i'd be able to spinn a spoon let alone a plate...

Which girl would want to talk to me now in this condition?? Sh!t, even all the openers, nags etc. etc. i used in the past... pretty much gone... It's been 2 years since i've really been "out there"

Need to remind myself of all that stuff again...

If you approach the situation with a defeatist attitude, then there's no point to trying. You should be EXCITED.

You need to be OPTIMISTIC.

You need to realize that you have a new chance at LIFE.

But you're sitting here, sobbing that you can't spin a spoon, let alone a plate. What kind of bullish talk is this? Sounds like a feminized man bringing his ownself down.

I was out of the game for almost 7 years and there's no way I was putting myself down like you are. Chin up, soldier. You don't have children, nor a marriage, nor anything like that. You are free, but you have the mentality of someone who has been in prison for decades. You don't want to get out because you crave the familiarity of the cell, even if it makes you miserable. Misery for decades is comfort, it's better than knowing that you might fail on your own.

And this is why many men want to go back to their ex's even if they shouldn't, because they'd rather deal with an evil they already know than to deal with new situations. It saddens me to see this.

You're a man and you should be enjoying life as such. Quit this defeatist attitude and language, it's embarassing for me as a man to read this coming from another man. You have a wealth of information on this site to help you out.

STOP the excuses.
STOP the defeatism.
STOP being a pansy.

START enjoying your life.
START enjoying the prospect of new women.
START practicing everything you once did.
START seeing yourself as a man freed from a prison of misery.

START BEING A MAN.

 

[romangod]

RomanGod,

Thanks a lot man, I apreciate the comments.
I'm just curious, how long did it take you to overcome your 3 year LTR? You're saying it was ok for a while until she got someone else... When did that happen?

I pray to God that even if she does get someone else... I don't find out at least not for a month... then after that, it'll crush me a little, but i'll get over it.

I was a mess for about a year. Maybe a little longer. This was around 1990-91. I was close to your age now. Keep in mind that there was no internet at the time and one was pretty well on his own in figuring out the intricacies and depths of females on the male psyche.


She started seeing the new guy about 4 months after we broke up. He was also in a rebound after divorcing. That's when my ego deserted me.


It's funny that you mention God. That's who I eventually turned to. Don't get me wrong. I didn't become a Moonie, born-again or join a monastery. I realized that my ego had smothered my spirit and I had to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. I was broken and she was the spark that ignited the flame.

This gets me back to the point I made earlier. It really isn't about her although she's playing a part. It's about you.


"And this above all, to thine own self be true." Shakespeare


Good luck and be true to yourself. Learn to understand when your ego is playing games on you and what is the truth.


Cheers!

 

[romangod]

I would really love to do that... but i feel like the condition i'm in... i doubt i'd be able to spinn a spoon let alone a plate...

Which girl would want to talk to me now in this condition?? Sh!t, even all the openers, nags etc. etc. i used in the past... pretty much gone... It's been 2 years since i've really been "out there"

Need to remind myself of all that stuff again...

Personally, I think telling you to spin plates is a bit naive and a band aid solution. It doesn't take into account the feelings, confusion and emotions of a LTR that ended.

Heal yourself first and then come out of this a stronger more confident man. IMHO


Cheers!

 

[boostinfd]

Actually, that's what i'm trying to do. I'm not forcing anything, or trying to date etc... whatever happens, happens... I'm going to live my life and accept the pain i'm going thru... I seriously don't want to go something like this again in 5 years or 10.

It's better to go thru it and learn something from it, then jump into another relationship, or rebound and be back at square 1.

Thanks man

 

[hithard]

Actually, that's what i'm trying to do. I'm not forcing anything, or trying to date etc... whatever happens, happens... I'm going to live my life and accept the pain i'm going thru... I seriously don't want to go something like this again in 5 years or 10.


Thanks man

at risk of sounding like a broken record, talk to as many women as possible regardless of how you feel. You dont have to set up dates, but even getting numbers will boost the ego. A lot of guys stagnate for to long on 'not forcing'. keep flirting and keep the convo skills up. Right now your focus is on one girl. Believe me when i say you quickly forget them when multiple women start vying for your attention. Working on yourself includes getting off your ass and meeting women. The longer you leave it the harder it can get

 

[boostinfd]

I fvcked up guys. I was nc for 2 days and yesterday i kept getting texts and calls from her... Then a text at 3 am saying i need to see you asap, followed by a call at 3:35am.

I answered. I know idiot! She tells me she misses me a lot wanted to see me, etc... It set me back up... This is why it's so important to stay NC!

Anyway... I know a lot of you will hate me for this, but i'll start over again. I failed once, i'll pick myself up and reboot!

NC again!

Thanks all.

 

[djroc]

Time to delete her number from your phone anx to o change your phone # and don't give it to her so you're not tempted.

 

[romangod]

I fvcked up guys. I was nc for 2 days and yesterday i kept getting texts and calls from her... Then a text at 3 am saying i need to see you asap, followed by a call at 3:35am.

I answered. I know idiot! She tells me she misses me a lot wanted to see me, etc... It set me back up... This is why it's so important to stay NC!

Anyway... I know a lot of you will hate me for this, but i'll start over again. I failed once, i'll pick myself up and reboot!

NC again!

Thanks all.

Let the guy that has never fvcked up cast the first stone. If at first you don't succeed try, try again. I know it sounds cliche but it's rarely a straight line from point A to B when it comes to the end of an LTR. There is a multitude of thoughts and emotions that'll bombard your psyche while you are at your most vulnerable.

Stay the course and take the opportunity to learn from all that is happening. If you keep falling, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. You can't turn back. You'll end up hating yourself in the end.

It's Over


Cheers!

 

[jophil28]

I failed once, i'll pick myself up and reboot!

Words to live by !