Need Relationship Advice

[BackInTheGame78]

That's the point. She feels suffocated. Not all men want the same type of women, just as not all women want the exact same type man. The woman that wants the guy will not feel suffocated. If its only a partial fit or settling, then yes I agree keep more distance.

No...that's not how it really works. It doesn't matter how much a woman might like you at first, if you behave in a desperate or needy way eventually they will start feeling suffocated because you are "always there" or "always needing attention" and it literally just becomes emotionally exhausting.

Look at Pete Davidson. He gets these hot women and they are all about him at first and then after a while it gets to be too much and he has to go. Same issue over and over and over again. He suffocates them until they have to get away.

This is an insecure, needy behavior that is highly unattractive and will destroy any relationship a man has if he does this. A woman knows that this is not how a man should be acting and regardless of how much she likes him at first, it will destroy any attraction she has for him over time.

Ignore this at your own peril.

 

[crowolf]

A quick update on this thing:

We were mostly silent for 1-2 weeks, with a few messages here and there, initiated first by her, then by me. Other than that, I am still in abundance, cold approaching, getting numbers and stuff, women digg my vibe, so I don't really care about the outcome of me & this girl.

The thing is: I have a t-shirt at her place, and she had a bag of clothes at mine. So we agreed to meet and exchange them today. She came to my place (but I didn't want her to come in, so we met outside). 3 minutes before coming, she called me to say that she had forgot the t-shirt. Says it wasn't on purpose (but I doubt it). So, I think either she wants to have a chance to see me again, or is just playing silly games, and needed to be punished for that. I was non-reactive, non-needy and confident, but I really am not into these stupid games, so after a while of her apologizing, I told her through my poker face "no worries, we will figure it out", as I believed she just wanted a reason to come another time and bang (perhaps).

Now that I am sober from the hearts around my head stage I see clearly that this girl seems to be definitely full of red flags, and I don't plan on taking her seriously again, but I think about keeping her for mutual enjoyment under other circumstances (a.k.a. plate)... The question is how exactly to transition the framework and things back to the playful one? Maybe through some underlying flirty vibe? Or just the next time she comes, I make her come in, and just act on it. I kind of think she wants me to punish her for this silly behavior, but I am not really that type of a guy. If she wants to be treated like trash, she would definitely find someone else to do that.

What do you think about this situation?

 

[holidayad_]

The question is how exactly to transition the framework and things back to the playful one? Maybe through some underlying flirty vibe? Or just the next time she comes, I make her come in, and just act on it. I kind of think she wants me to punish her for this silly behavior, but I am not really that type of a guy. If she wants to be treated like trash, she would definitely find someone else to do that.

If your intuition is telling you that she wants to be punished for what she did, you need to find the best way to do this without hurting your chances.

After all, you want things to go back to the way they were, right?

Perhaps being cold, distant and aloof will help.

Make her chase you and take care of her the next time she finds you in your place.

 

[crowolf]

If your intuition is telling you that she wants to be punished for what she did, you need to find the best way to do this without burning bridges.

After all, you want things to go back to the way they were, right?

Perhaps being cold, distant and aloof will help.

Make her chase you and take care of her the next time she finds you in your place.

By "punishing" I mean **** stuff, for example. She had previously hinted about this once or twice, but I am not quite experienced with it, so I don't really know how to proceed with this type of role-play, seduction, etc. I don't want it to be cringe, and it probably would be if I don't feel like doing it. Will see about that. I have an idea, and there are a few videos out there on YouTube even (TNL).

I don't really want things to go back to the way they were. I only want to have fun, and no more than that. No drama, no complaining around me, no bs, no attachment. Call it FWB. Back then we were more than that, holding hands in public, etc.

I forgot to mention that after splitting apart for a while (which was mostly caused by my neediness, I believe), now I somehow got her back into my frame, which is good. It was me that told her to come today at X o'clock, and she obeyed. She sent some IOIs but our convo was lacking flirt for the most part. I was staring deeply into her eyes to read whether she feels guilty about something, like moving on too fast, which would be a huge turn off for me. I can't be 100% sure if she had fxcked someone else yet, but she was a bit uncomfortable with the long eye contact.

After all, this is what you get after ignoring red flags - headaches and a lot of bs. Learn from my mistake, guys. Never take a red flag girl seriously.

Now it seems the ball is back again in her court, but let's see how it goes. Perhaps I still have a reason to tell her to come here.

 

[BaronOfHair]

But one thing I don't understand - how she had the energy to whine and complain, but not to have sex?

Because she's a flesh and blood WOMAN, and not a sex doll. Based upon the description you provided us with above, this chick is clearly a biological woman, which is cause for rejoicing. It's often tough to tell these days

 

[holidayad_]

By "punishing" I mean **** stuff, for example. She had previously hinted about this once or twice, but I am not quite experienced with it, so I don't really know how to proceed with this type of role-play, seduction, etc. I don't want it to be cringe, and it probably would be if I don't feel like doing it. Will see about that. I have an idea, and there are a few videos out there on YouTube even (TNL).

I don't really want things to go back to the way they were. I only want to have fun, and no more than that. No drama, no complaining around me, no bs, no attachment. Call it FWB. Back then we were more than that, holding hands in public, etc.

I forgot to mention that after splitting apart for a while (which was mostly caused by my neediness, I believe), now I somehow got her back into my frame, which is good. It was me that told her to come today at X o'clock, and she obeyed. She sent some IOIs but our convo was lacking flirt for the most part. I was staring deeply into her eyes to read whether she feels guilty about something, like moving on too fast, which would be a huge turn off for me.

If you want her to be a FWB, try slowing things down and making her an option for you (a.k.a plate).

Try to focus on what you want and not what she wants. If you want her to be FWB, do it. But bear in mind that holding hands and similar attitudes can give her the impression that you want something else.

She'll pick up on your intentions from your behavior. And then you'll get an answer, from her behavior, as to what she wants. I think that this is the best option. After all, at worst, you will still have a p*ssy to smash.

And it's much easier to drop a FWB.

Now, if you want her to leave already, show her the door.

You're in charge.

I can't be 100% sure if she had fxcked someone else yet, but she was a bit uncomfortable with the long eye contact.

As DJs say around here, you always have to take into account that they are seeing other guys.

 

[Gamisch]

The REAL lesson is you should NEVER push for sex in the early stages. Never evah evah ect.
It's an immediate turn off for a lot of women.


Look.

You say you had " such a great connection " with her right? Then why would you walk away from all of that just to make a statement akin to a child stomping his feet when it doesn't get it's way .

I know this because I made those " mistakes " too. BUT, not when a woman has more to offer than just sex. I might have pushed too much or put too much emphasis on the fact I felt like some women to me were only good for sex (I am an azzhole, I know).

Gotta be patient and I'll explain why;

1.you leave it out in the open wether she has competition or not. (Couoene after only two weeks assuming you are a " winning guy")

2. You show discipline and / or experience with women.

3.this is how quickly being HYYYYPERRRRR focused on sex will actually lead to a man having LESS sex...

4. It's two (!!!) damn weeks. She must still prove herself on soooo many levels and the funny thing is: she WANTS to !!

You see how quickly you went from "the one" to " just another one?"

 

[Gamisch]

I told her that sexual intimacy is important for me, as much as emotional intimacy is important to her. And that being "rejected" twice felt awful. I tried to find the real issue but it seems that she is just in a rough period of her life, and she is basically a mess with low emotional intelligence.


We are all here to learn from ine another. Here's my lesson to you:

Next time when you say this shyte is when you are in a marriage where you have shyte to lose. Untill then: STFU , you CANNOT negotiate desire in no way shape or form. Desire is communicated NON verbally. The only way to " ask" for sex is in a sexy, masculine and seducing way that makes it look like you simply cannot RESIST HER and you're acting on instincts. Now it becomes a playfully push pull game that will turn her on as well.

Whenever you feel like asking ( more like begging) a particular woman for sex, just realize you will lose ( or already lost that's why you're begging) at very least 4 smv points in her eyes. But I'd even say that the begging for sex = the nail in the coffin.

Believe me my brother, i even bolded the parts you need to memorize, you'll thank me later :

(P.s some men are in situations with their wife's/gfs where they "negotiate " sex every two weeks on Sunday. Or the robotic "must-make- baby-hurry- come " sex. No man should want this, and being proud of this type of sex is even worse and straight up eating your..idk aura soul, spirit ect)

 

[BaronOfHair]

The REAL lesson is you should NEVER push for sex in the early stages. Never evah evah ect.
It's an immediate turn off for a lot of women.


Look.

You say you had " such a great connection " with her right? Then why would you walk away from all of that just to make a statement akin to a child stomping his feet when it doesn't get it's way .

I know this because I made those " mistakes " too. BUT, not when a woman has more to offer than just sex. I might have pushed too much or put too much emphasis on the fact I felt like some women to me were only good for sex (I am an azzhole, I know).

Gotta be patient and I'll explain why;

1.you leave it put in the open wether she has competition or not.

2. You show discipline and / or experience with women.

3.this is how quickly being HYYYYPERRRRR focused on sex will actually lead to a man having LESS sex...

4. It's two (!!!) damn weeks. She must still prove herself on soooo many levels and the funny thing is: she WANTS to !!

You see how quickly you went from "the one" to " just another one?"

Beyond patience, not being desperate to get into her pants demonstrates self-possesion and nerves of steel. All supremely masculine traits

 

[TheGambino]

Very good advice in this thread.

 

[TheGambino]

I told her that sexual intimacy is important for me, as much as emotional intimacy is important to her. And that being "rejected" twice felt awful. I tried to find the real issue but it seems that she is just in a rough period of her life, and she is basically a mess with low emotional intelligence.


We are all here to learn from ine another. Here's my lesson to you:

Next time when you say this shyte is when you are in a marriage where you have shyte to lose. Untill then: STFU , you CANNOT negotiate desire in no way shape or form. Desire is communicated NON verbally. The only way to " ask" for sex is in a sexy, masculine and seducing way that makes it look like you simply cannot RESIST HER and you're acting on instincts. Now it becomes a playfully push pull game that will turn her on as well.

Whenever you feel like asking ( more like begging) a particular woman for sex, just realize you will lose ( or already lost that's why you're begging) at very least 4 smv points in her eyes. But I'd even say that the begging for sex = the nail in the coffin.

Believe me my brother, i even bolded the parts you need to memorize, you'll thank me later :

(P.s some men are in situations with their wife's/gfs where they "negotiate " sex every two weeks on Sunday. Or the robotic "must-make- baby-hurry- come " sex. No man should want this, and being proud of this type of sex is even worse and straight up eating your..idk aura soul, spirit ect)

amazing. This is 1000000% quality advice. @Gamisch

 

[The Duke]

@crowolf here's what I see:

1. You saw this girl WAY too much in that 2wk period or whatever it was.
2. You are too needy/clingy and get way too attached way too fast. You are as bad as love bombing crazy girls.
3. Your frame is very weak.
4. To talk about your heart falling for her....JEEZUS CHRIST....WTF. It was 2 wks. REAL IT IN.
5. Here you are talking about not playing games, and being over her and you won't let her into your house, BUT you want to know how to make her a fuhk buddy? You need to learn how to be a man.
6. Your lack of a masculine mindset is what drove this girl away. Its why she didn't want to have sex with you.

Work on developing a masculine mindset first. It will make dealing with females much easier.

 

[Gamisch]

amazing. This is 1000000% quality advice. @Gamisch

Thank you , thats are powerful and big compliment to receive.

Life is going well. Read this thread and saw a light bulb in my head. The game can be extremely simple actually.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Shortest honeymoon phase ever right here.

Credit where it's due: This still outlasted Felix and Della Leiter's union

Della Churchill

Della Churchill was the fiancée and wife of Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) agent, Felix Leiter. She first appeared in the 1989 James Bond film Licence to Kill and was portrayed by American actress Priscilla Barnes. During the pre-title sequence of Licence to Kill, Felix is on his way to...

jamesbond.fandom.com

And OP made it out more physically intact than Bond's BFF

This is cause for relief and celebration