need help on my Fu k Buddy -- and i know a fked up here!

[Joe Stud]

take a break, let her *** to you, play it aloof & indifferent because you have other plates. and.. do other plates!

ditto. just keep playing it cool, but once in awhile pepper-in a compliment. she still has a thing for you.

 

[Igetit!]

ok here is the latest. I've been playing it cool with her recently like not acting like i care whether she comes by or not to visit me at work. I truly now know she is running tests on me.

Well,if you POSITIVE she's running test on you,then that's a good thing,although I'd like to hear what some of these so-called "tests" are.

so then, she tells me "you know what, i dont even know if i want to see you or have sex with you anymore, as a matter of fact, we can't see each other til next month"

If anything,this sounds like a test. I would have blown it apart by responding,"OK".

I think she was trying to see if she could get an emotional reaction out of you by telling you that she didn't know if she wanted to have sex with you and that she would be away for so long.

Then i ignored or didn't call her like what IgetIt suggested after. THen yesterday (friday), she texted me again out of nowhere, i wasn't expecting it: "hey, did you leave work yet?" i didn't respond immediately, i responded 10 min later and said "ya, im leaving at 4"

then she calls me and i pick up and she says "nevermind, i wanted to kick it with you, but i got my period. and im happy so im gonna go home instead." (btw, this girl, last i fvked her, i nutted inside of her). I think she was doing another sh*T test on me so to make sure i passed the test and to show her that i value her more than just wanting sex from her, is say "so, we can still kick it and like get a quick smoothie or starbucks.

You see that part I put in bold? You're right there. That was a test.

then we managed to meet up at a local starbucks and we chilled for like 1 hour. then we made plans with each other to go watch a movie this coming monday.

This is good. It's good to show her that you value her outside of the bedroom,otherwise you'll end up making her feel like a slvt.


It's good to do that even if you two are supposed to be just F-buddies.

so what you guys think? i showed some signs of being desperate to have sex with her but she is still talking to me

That's because you keep teetering back and forth between DJ skills and AFC tendencies.


When you're DJish,she feels attraction,but when you show neediness,she gets turned off.


That's why it seems her behavior keeps changing. It does changes,but it's because YOUR BEHAVIOR CHANGES...FIRST.


As long as you flip-flop between behaving like a MAN and an AFC,you'll continue getting these mixed signals from her...with one side of her behavior geared towards you being a MAN,and the other one towards you being an AFC.


It's up to YOU what you get out of her.

there is something i have that she wants, maybe its my d&ck, she said i was thick!

This is a FOOLISH statement.


You have the same d*ck now as you had when she went that month of not WANTING seeing you. So if you d*ck is all she wanted,then why all the wish-washy behavior from her?

What's the point of trying to get all this info from the forum if all she wants is your d*ck?

 

[909pua]

ditto. just keep playing it cool, but once in awhile pepper-in a compliment. she still has a thing for you.

i came to find out these 4 months i've been playing these games with her, complimenting is a bad thing. I eased up on the compliments because before, i would pepper spray her with it and it just caused her to go aloof from me...

 

[909pua]

hey igetit thanks for the reply. one thing i like about you, is how you respond to people..i want to call you the the technical DJ because you break down the facts, each sentence, and explain it, like your dissecting, i dont know if i should call you doctor of surgery or technical but you know what i mean... and by the way, i forgot to mention that when we were at starbucks, i told her that i had to go in 10 minutes after 50 minutes with her in starbucks, basically ending it first...then at the end, i walked her back to her car, and she mentioned "so movies on monday right?" i said "yes" then kissed her lips and left...that's it...she is also talking and kicking it with her ex boyfriend. and her ex knows nothing about me. so in the end, that fool loses, not me...and also, the other day, when she didn't want nothing to do with me anymore or her attitude was like she didn't want me anymore, i told her i fvked some other girl while she me and her took that 1 month break...so i dont know if this also factored into how her attitude changed all of a sudden. she actually passed that test and she actually was cool with it.

ya you're right about the d$ck thing, i guess my ego is just skyrocketing and it was a foolish comment. thanks man thanks, imma keep her on her toes and keep it real and cool. i also told her that i want to go wine tasting again with her...one day! and im gonna tell you, this girl was never interested in me in the first place, she actually LJBF'd me at first, i turned it around doing the KINO thing, and look where I'm at now? wow this forum really helps! and my signature is what i live by!

but yeah man, asking for sex is the worst thing you can do, when they are ready, they will offer it...! im pretty sure she will continue running more tests on me in the future and i think she doesn't know that she's doing it, for girls its a subconscious thing, something that stems from their childhood during elementary school when girls and boys are with each other All the time in the playground!

 

[Joe Stud]

ditto. just keep playing it cool, but once in awhile pepper-in a compliment. she still has a thing for you.

umm the term "once in awhile pepper-in a compliment" means very seldom. And I told you this AFTER you were successful following my earlier advice of sitting back and playing it cool for a month or two.
You on the other hand, "pepper sprayed" her (your words).
Not the same thing.

when you followed my advice, she came to you. so keep following my advice. Its not colorful, but it worked for you so far.

 

[Joe Stud]

take a break, let her *** to you, play it aloof & indifferent because you have other plates. and.. do other plates!

Then i ignored or didn't call her like what IgetIt suggested after. THen yesterday (friday), she texted me again out of nowhere, i wasn't expecting it: "hey, did you leave work yet?" i didn't respond immediately, i responded 10 min later and said "ya, im leaving at 4"

Keep following our advice. An OCCASIONAL half azzed compliment peppered in is like throwing a dog a bone. you will keep her from bailing to the other guy in exasperation. Good thing u r getting good advice here. LOL

:crazy:

 

[909pua]

ok here is the latest. i am supposed to go with her to the movies today but i dont know if she's putting me to the test.

text her at around 130 pm, its 445 pm pacific time right now and she hasn't responded. i want to know what i should do or what you guys recommend. i text her this

"hey the movie is at 615 pm at theatre A or 730 pm at theatre b".

she hasnt responded, its been 3 hours and i haven't sent her anything. If she replies, which is probably gonna be much later, where I dont have time, should i reply or just go home? i think she's wasting my time making me wait for her... i know if i answer back and say "yes let's go" after making me wait 3+ hours for an answer from her, she's gonna get a power trip.

she has flaked on me before. if she responds and says yes, i was planning on responding and saying "hey, i went home, i thought you had made your own plans"

 

[Igetit!]

ok here is the latest. i am supposed to go with her to the movies today but i dont know if she's putting me to the test.

text her at around 130 pm, its 445 pm pacific time right now and she hasn't responded. i want to know what i should do or what you guys recommend. i text her this

"hey the movie is at 615 pm at theatre A or 730 pm at theatre b".

If you two have already discussed and decided on a time,then what I'd do is go ahead and get ready. Then if you have her number,CALL HER at like 20 min before you're supposed to pick her up and let her know you're on your way to pick her up.

If she gives you some excuse about why she can't go,then JUST SAY "ALRIGHT,I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.",then hang up the phone.


Don't get angry,don't get mad,and don't whine.


Say "OK",then end then call.


If you two are supposed to meet up somwhere,don't call her to make sure she's coming. Just trust her to show up.


You show up at the time you're supposed to,and wait 15 to 20 min...25 max. If she isn't there by then,then get up and go home...AND DON'T CALL HER TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED OR WHERE SHE IS.


You either go out somewhere else and enjoy yourself,or go home...but DON'T CALL OR TEXT HER.



Let's say you get there on time,wait 20 min,leave,and then like 35 min later she calls or text you.


Tell her you got there on time,waited 25 minutes,then you got up and left.

TELL HER you're not going to wait for her all day.

TELL HER the next time you two have a date set up to be there on time,or else she'll be there alone...AGAIN.



If she gets mad,throws a fix,or hangs up on you,DON'T CALL HER BACK.


It may be hard for you to do these things,but I PROMISE YOU,doing them WILL INCREASE HER ATTRACTION for you because you'll show her you won't tolerate disrespect from anyone...including her.

 

[909pua]

If you two have already discussed and decided on a time,then what I'd do is go ahead and get ready. Then if you have her number,CALL HER at like 20 min before you're supposed to pick her up and let her know you're on your way to pick her up.

If she gives you some excuse about why she can't go,then JUST SAY "ALRIGHT,I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.",then hang up the phone.


Don't get angry,don't get mad,and don't whine.


Say "OK",then end then call.


If you two are supposed to meet up somwhere,don't call her to make sure she's coming. Just trust her to show up.


You show up at the time you're supposed to,and wait 15 to 20 min...25 max. If she isn't there by then,then get up and go home...AND DON'T CALL HER TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED OR WHERE SHE IS.


You either go out somewhere else and enjoy yourself,or go home...but DON'T CALL OR TEXT HER.



Let's say you get there on time,wait 20 min,leave,and then like 35 min later she calls or text you.


Tell her you got there on time,waited 25 minutes,then you got up and left.

TELL HER you're not going to wait for her all day.

TELL HER the next time you two have a date set up to be there on time,or else she'll be there alone...AGAIN.



If she gets mad,throws a fix,or hangs up on you,DON'T CALL HER BACK.


It may be hard for you to do these things,but I PROMISE YOU,doing them WILL INCREASE HER ATTRACTION for you because you'll show her you won't tolerate disrespect from anyone...including her.

igetit, i did otherwise, she NEVER responded to my text. and i never sent another text as a follow up.... or even called. I just went straight home at 530 pm pacific time. She's a waste of my time. I'm still gonna keep things cool with her but i will NOW PUT HER in the backburner.

 

[Igetit!]

igetit, i did otherwise, she NEVER responded to my text. and i never sent another text as a follow up.... or even called. I just went straight home at 530 pm pacific time. She's a waste of my time. I'm still gonna keep things cool with her but i will NOW PUT HER in the backburner.

Hey man,let me ask you a question...


Aren't you geting tired of this?


I mean you met this girl around the beginning of July,and here we are 2 1/2 months later in September,and to me,it seem you're no closer to obtaining what you want with this girl now than you were when you first started.



To be honest,I don't even know what it is you want with her.



You call this girl a "F-buddy" in the title,but you keep trying to take her out on dates,to the movies,out to dinner,etc.


It's kind of confusing.



If you could say EXACTLY WHAT IT IS you want,maybe we could help guide you to where it is you want to go.



The lines seem blurred with you.


A relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend) is different from F-buddies.



To be f-buddies,you need to take one path,and to be in a relationship (bf/gf) you need to take another.


It also depends on what the girl wants as well,so you can't just unilaterally make a decision on your own without her consent.



Anyway,you said you didn't call or text her,so that's good.


AND DON'T CALL OR TEXT HER...FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES. She's the one that flaked and broke the agreement,so she should call you.



And if she does,and says she's sorry,or gives you some excuse for not making it,be like,"Oh,that's ok. I waited like 10 min,then I left. I met up with some of my friends,and we went to ....and did....(whatever).



The point is to make her feel like her not showing not not only had no effect on you,in a sense,actually did you a favor because if she hadn't flaked,you wouldn't have had such a good time with your friends.



Trust me,that's NOT WHAT SHE'LL BE EXPECTING.



She'll be looking for you to be angry or upset,which will make her feel good because it'll mean you miised her or cared about her.

She'll get an emotional "fix" by you being upset,which will cause her to repeat this same behavior over and over again to continue getting these "fixes".



If you act like you didn't even notice she didn't show up,she'll feel like she doesn't mean that much to you,which will make her work harder to get your attention.


She'll also flakes less as well.




Oh,and another thing...



DO NOT ASK HER OUT AGAIN.



If she calls you or text you,say hi,speak to her,ask her what she's been up to,tell her what you've been up to,etc,but DON'T ASK HER OUT.




If she wants to see you,LET HER bring it up.



And if she does,be like,"well....well look,I'm probably going to be busy over the next few days,so I guess I can call you later and we can decide on a time"...but DON'T CALL HER.



This'll throw her for a loop.



She's probably so used to you JUMPING AT THE CHANCE to have 5 min of her time,that you brushing her off like this will cause all kinds of thoughts and emotions racing through her.


DO THIS 909pua.


I know it may be hard for you to do everything I've suggested,but I'm telling you,it'll shoot up her interest level in you.



Personally,I would have lost interest a loooong time ago,but if you're still going to pursue her,you might as well do it right.

 

[909pua]

mr igetit...

thanks for reply. but im in a different situation, alot of people in here can avoid situations like this by not calling or texting, which i can also do, BUT she passes by my job too which makes it tough to deal with. but i will just keep my cool and brush her off.

im sure she is used to guys NEVER turning her down. i really dont know what this girl wants, first she says she wants nothing with me anymore, not even sex, then pulls this "oh i wanted to see you but i just got my period" ordeal. and then she has asked me recently if i missed her, blah blah blah, etc etc...

all i want to do with this girl is just bone her because she is TIGHT... so any chance i can bone her, i will... that's why i keep pursuing this girl... im not saying my sh*^ is small either but this girl has a pretty tight one!

 

[909pua]

mr Igetit, she gives me an excuse today at work. She catches me at the hallway and says "hey i passed by your desk 15 min ago and you weren't there. i had to come back because i left my phone here. and oh, i didn't go to work yesterday, i was sick so i didn't go in, i cought a fever over the weekend from some girl at my other job" so i was thinking she should have at least text and replied but I kept my cool and didn't even act like it got to me, i didn't even bring up the fact about what had happened. and who knows this could be a B/S excuse or lie, she must have been getting roasted by someone else. i just showed her i was a normal fun guy like always that none of her tricks are getting to me. we made small talk and then we parted.

 

[Ridingthelightning]

I read snippets of the entire thread and I think what we're dealing with here is a guy thats got one-itis. Have you f'ed another girl since banging this chick? Why is it so hard to just forget it? Yeah, be pissed for a while but let it go, brother.
Break all contact that extends over cordial exchanges and get on with your life. This is the type of action that women talk to their friends about and say, "I can't believe I banged him, he is creepy."
Do you wanna be creepy? ...No, didn't think so.

 

[909pua]

anyways she comes by again today. I'm gonna make this short. She asks what I'm doing tomorrow after work (friday). I turned around and said "why are you busy?" she said "no". I said "well i have a few hours to spare".

I then said "lets go eat dinner at the thai place" she said "no, i want olive garden". I said "no i dont want olive garden". She said "how about king taco?" By the way, king taco is a mexican restaurant across the street from a motel we always get a room at. So she knows in the back of her mind that this place is next to this. I just kept it cool and acted normal. I said "ya let's eat there" Is this a test? How shall i proceed? take it that she wants me to take her across the street first and then eat? or keep it cool and not even bring up the room?