need help on my Fu k Buddy -- and i know a fked up here!

[vagrant]

I'm not saying you shouldn't ask for it. I'm saying if she says no then end of story.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

ok, me and my FB have been kickin it constantly for 2 weeks. in that time span, i probably boned her like 9 times and gave her 12 intense orgasms. Then recently she started acting weird like she don't wanna kick it with me anymore. I text her in the AM saying i want to know what time her lunch is at work (this was on saturday) cause i want to kick it with her. She didnt respond. this was at 8 AM. then at 4 pm, (we talked about going to this party together), i text her again and said "hey are you still going with me to the party? The worst thing you can do is not answer my phone calls or texts"... she then texts back and says "no, sorry" (meaning she can't come with me). then like 10 minutes later i replied (which i know i should not have done cause i was thinking more with my other head than my brain), i said in text "anyway, you're acting weird and you are up to something and i will not put up with this behavior, so you better let me know what you're up to so i can switch from 5th to 1st gear"... she didnt reply after that. its monday, and still no response. ... what shall i do next?

Classic AFC behavior. The good news is that you know exactly what you did wrong, you just need us to confirm it. CONFIRMED. In this case, pretty much everything you texted reeked desperation and lack of control.

If you give a woman "12 intense orgasms", she is not gonna just walk out of your life, without an explanation. Either she was making you believe she had 12 intense O's, or she's the very first, single, non-married woman to ever walk away from the ultimate sexual experience of her lifetime.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

ok here is another update. after avoiding and not talking to her for almost a month, purely NO CONTACT, she decides to pass by my cubicle today. I said hi to her and was cool about everything. At least I kept things cool like nothing bad ever happened between me and her. BTW, since she last saw me, I dropped 13 lbs (i've been on the p90X program for a month) I hugged her then she told me she'll be back. Then after about 10 min she came back to say bye, i hugged her again and gave her a kiss on the cheek. And that was it.

Anyway, is this girl trying to put me back on her rotation? It seems that me and her are talking again. But i just want to know what you guys think? HOw shall I proceed with her...what shall be my demeanor next time i see her?

Shouldn't she, the woman who experienced "12 intense orgasms" be the one chasing you for your magic stick?

You can't bait her at this point, as she has all the power and knows it. Best you can come up with is she gives a good testimonial/review to other women of what a stud you're in bed.

 

[909pua]

she passed by again today but I kept it cool. Im just waiting for her to ask me out so i can bang her brains out!

 

[Sandow]

Woah dude ur way too emotional. Thats why she hasnt talked to you in a month. She came back because she's hoping you've changed. For the future, being emotional, outlashing, and telling girls that your tired of their games is one of the worst things you can do. Its usually game over at that point.

 

[909pua]

ok she comes by again right now and she says a quick bye and i reach over and give her a hug and said "bye have a nice weekend"

is she using this to spike her ego? Should I start giving her hugs each time she comes here to visit? Or should i take that away and stop any form of physical contact with her? Let me know your opinions. I have a feeling she's using this to insure herself that I still want her so she can feel good about herself for her nights out or whatever she has going on planned. I still haven't called or texted her..our only form of contact is when she comes here and visits me at work.

Give me your inputs, especially Mr. IGETIT dude

 

[hover411]

she's stringin you along....

have fun being her cat that amuses her.

 

[Igetit!]

ok she comes by again right now and she says a quick bye and i reach over and give her a hug and said "bye have a nice weekend"

is she using this to spike her ego? Should I start giving her hugs each time she comes here to visit? Or should i take that away and stop any form of physical contact with her? Let me know your opinions. I have a feeling she's using this to insure herself that I still want her so she can feel good about herself for her nights out or whatever she has going on planned. I still haven't called or texted her..our only form of contact is when she comes here and visits me at work.

Give me your inputs, especially Mr. IGETIT dude

Well,all I can do is agree with the other posters.

You screwed up by becoming overly-emotional with her. Like DonGordon said,you overreacting and getting emotional with her is a turnoff.

Women are the ones who supposed to be the emotional ones,while men should be the logical,calm,cool,and collected ones.

So she keeps coming by your cubicle,huh? And I suppose you want to know why she keeps coming by.

In my opinion,she's either toying with you,(like hover411 said),or she's testing you.

You better hope it's the testing because women only test guys who they have somewhat some interest in. If it's the testing,then she's probably trying to see if sooner or later if she can get you to start back acting emotional again. If she can,then she'll be like,"Yep,I knew it. Hasn't changed a bit. I made the right decision after all".

It's hard to say which it is because all you said was that she comes by your cubicle. You didn't say what she does,or if you two talk,what it is you two talk about. If we knew what it is she says to you,or what it is you two discuss during these little "visits" of hers,maybe we could determine if it's a test,or just her playing games.

My guess is you put into action what I have in my signature,and that's why she's coming around you all the sudden. I say "WOW!" to that.
You know why?

You remember sosuave member "RandallP"?

He had a similiar situation just like yours,minus the getting emotional part. Anyway,he followed the advice given in my signature,which is to go NO CONTACT for 5 days,and he reported EXACTLY THE SAME THING you did.

Here,check out this REPLY of his.

He said EXACTLY the same thing you did.

Wow,that must be some good advice in my signature .

But I want to be fair. Since that last reply of his,he hasn't posted anything else about the situation,so I don't know how things turned out.
All I know is the last time he replied,he did have a date set up with her.

Even though you both are following the same advice,your situations are different.

You,my friend,you screwed up...BIG TIME.

All RandallP had to deal with was his girl flaking.

Your girl's behavior was a result of you behaving AFC.

Your situation is more difficult to repair because she proabaly thought she knew you,then all of the sudden,you got all emotional on her.

That probably changed the way she saw you,and thus,her attraction for you was compromised as well.

So there's been no contact for the last month. You've been cool and calm for the last month,but she knows that emotional side is there.

So she's either testing for it to see if it's still there,or she's toying with you to get a kick out of seeing you make a fool of yourself.

I wouldn't hold my breath here with this girl. I'm not saying to just forget about her,just to not have only her on the radar screen.

As far as this one,you best bet would be to keep doing what your doing.

I mean hey,it's got her coming by your cubicle,right?

Keep your emotions in check. I don't care what she says or does,DO NOT GET ANGRY. Don't go "off" on her,don't give her a piece of your mind,don't "set her straight".

In other words,follow what DonGordon said.

Remember,be "polite". Don't ask her out,don't compliment her.

SHOW NO INTEREST AT ALL.

Treat her EXACTLY like you treat everybody else.

This is only supposed to go for 5 days,but your screwup scretched it out over a month.

That's why I say to date other girls,and not to hold your breath with this girl.

This could take a while. That should give you an indication of how great an error you made by getting emotional like you did.

Anyway,good luck man.

 

[909pua]

It's hard to say which it is because all you said was that she comes by your cubicle. You didn't say what she does,or if you two talk,what it is you two talk about. If we knew what it is she says to you,or what it is you two discuss during these little "visits" of hers,maybe we could determine if it's a test,or just her playing games.

I will start taking away the physical contact and just remain in my seat. (maybe this is what she's after, any signs of hope that i'm still interested in her so she can continue toying me around because this is another form of body language that shows you are still interested in them to stroke their ego)

Anyway, what we would talk about are things that she would be doing like i asked her "how you've been" and she would be like "im good, how are you and oh, im going to Las vegas on labor day weekend instead of pismal beach or "I'm going bowling tonight with my friends". As far as me, i didn't really ask her nothing or talk to her that indicated im still interested. We'd just have some general small talk. Like she asks me stuff like "oh are you busy right now". I would say "ya, i have alot of projects going on and they're keeping me busy". When we talked these last few times she came by, its just general small talk, there's no discussion about why i haven't called her, or anything. But I did tease her, because a few times we smoked weed together or she does it on her own time, she would come in the office high with her eyes low and I joked her about that like making fun of her. And she would say "no im not high, he he he".

Also i remember saying the first time she visited me after a long time, when she was almost leaving, i said something like "hey where is that picture of us we took that one time we went to the wine tasting place? (in order to extract the picture, she has to have her cell phone with her which she didnt have, get a usb plug and connect it to a pc)" she said "well the phone is in my car i dont have it, we can go get it right now if you want and come back up here and extract the pic" i said "Well dont you have to leave right now, i dont wanna hold you up and get you in trouble by your boss" she said "ya (like in a confused way like she didn't expect to hear an answer like that from me, she was probably expecting me to go follow her outside), i guess i will just come back tomorrow and bring it". I said OK and we said our byes. the next day she came. she was like "hey what are you doing here late i was here earlier in the morning and I had to come back" (this was around 4 pm) i said "i got alot of work, what you up to?" i forgot what we had talked about after that but before she left, she said something like "hey you are gonna be here tomorrow right?" i said "ya". then we said our byes.

Its just little normal talk. that's all. But the good thing is, I haven't called or texted her. But ya, im dealing with it the hard way as compared to everybody else. There's this girl at the gym that I'm trying to holler at right now so at least for the mean time i can put this B*tch on the back burner in an attempt to give her a taste of her own medicine. I'm beginning to feel that she's just toying with me because those last few times she visited, i reached out to hug her, she didn't even attempt or try to reach her arm out at me.

so let's say things went well and i follow your steps and i get a date. I really want to fvck this girl so should i make the first move or should she be the one during the date/time i see her again in person? should i keep my hands to myself the whole time im with her (no touching or physical in any way until she initiates it). when we used to hang out, we would do nonstop kissing and touching (but it was always me that iniated it) and also it was me who, 80% of the time did all the asking out and asking for sex. I would say maybe 3 weeks into fuvking her, she started acting like she was losing interest.

 

[909pua]

anyone out here can comment on my last post?

 

[Bigg Boss]

She's your ****buddy, not your *****.

 

[Igetit!]

909pua,

You have to realize that sometimes when you make a mistake,IT'S OVER WITH.

YOU made a HUGE ERROR here. You got all emotinal on this girl. You're the one who called this girl a "f-buddy".

Well if she's an "F-buddy",then why all the emotional investment?
Why are you apparently so emotionally attached to her?


You know what you did wrong here,don't you?


You claim that she's an f-buddy,but you acted,behaved,and treated her like a girlfriend. You two had an agreement that it would be sex ONLY,just sex,but YOU BROKE that agreement be letting yourself get involved emotionally.


And now,here you are trying to fix it.


The information contained in my signature was designed to deal with FLAKING,not this mess you've gotten yourself into. Why do you think it's being dragged out so long? You started this thread back in July,and here we are almost a month and a half later in September,and honestly,it seems you're no closer to now to having what you want now than when the thread first started.



To be honest with you,I don't even know if this can be repaired. This situation is somewhat similiar to being in the friendzone.And you know that can't be corrected,or maybe it can,but it can take up to a year or more to turn around.



There may be a slight chance the "no contact" suggestion I proposed can help you out,but you haven't done correctly.



You screwed up with this girl,then when you came here for help,the info you received to try and turn this thing around,you didn't follow that right.



Sometimes you've just got to know when to drop it. You're still emotionally attached to her. Otherwise you wouldn't still be trying to get with her almost 2 months later after she broke things off.


Heck,even Trent81 had enough sense to know when to move on.
Check this reply.


The fact that you're sooo hung up on her suggests you're infected with oneitis. I'm not much of a oneitis expert. I do know that the VAST MAJORITY of guys never get the object of their oneitis because the neediness they have always drives the girl away.


I would say to move on,but something tells me you won't.


Go ahead and try whatever it is you've got planned to do.

But as long as you're needy,that neediness will shine through any "trick or tactic" you find here on the forum, including any advice I may have to offer. And that neediness will continue to drive her away.

 

[909pua]

alright man, here;s an update. i hit it at the local park today in the back of her car. and then the whole situation is back to normal again but this time im gonna change big time and act cool. she told me that some other guy hit it during the time that me and her werent talking. but i kept it cool. anyway she asked me if i wanted to go to the movies with her next thursday to watch inglorious basterds, i said yeah, but now i am realizing that i have to be somewhere important that evening.

im just gonna have to reschedule it. i know many of you think im some emotional retard but im not, she offered to let me hit it so i did. it was in the back of her car and when i nutted, i pulled out, some of it went on the back seat, cvm stains.

btw, she;s going to vegas this weekend and then i told her to have fun and will see her next week at work.

THE END..

 

[Igetit!]

alright man, here;s an update. i hit it at the local park today in the back of her car.

WOW.

So the "5 day" NO CONTACT advice worked after all...only it took longer for you because of the severity of your little screw up.


So both you and RandallP both had success using the same advice.


Glad I came up with that little idea. That's 2 for 2.

and then the whole situation is back to normal again

Now this part kind of throws me off. You say things went back to normal. What does that mean? Do you mean "normal" as in how things were before your emotional outburst that caused you two to split for that month,or "normal" as in the way she was acting after you got emotional and had to start the NO CONTACT tactitc?

but this time im gonna change big time and act cool. she told me that some other guy hit it during the time that me and her werent talking. but i kept it cool.

Obviously her telling you about some other guy was a test,which you passed....this time. If the two of you are going to be around each other for a while,you might as well get used to being tested by her. All women test,the difference here with your situation is that you getting overly emotional gave her a reason to test you more frequently than the average girl would do.

anyway she asked me if i wanted to go to the movies with her next thursday to watch inglorious basterds, i said yeah, but now i am realizing that i have to be somewhere important that evening.

This is a good thing. Shows her that you have a life,and it's also the opposite of what an overly emotional guy would do.


If you had had this kind of behavior from the beginning with her,you probably wouldn't have had to take the month long detour of going no contact.


Anyway,good luck with everything.

 

[909pua]

WOW.




Now this part kind of throws me off. You say things went back to normal. What does that mean? Do you mean "normal" as in how things were before your emotional outburst that caused you two to split for that month,or "normal" as in the way she was acting after you got emotional and had to start the NO CONTACT tactitc?

I mean normal as in how it was before the outburst. Maybe i can't be assuming for now and gauge the situation more. I will just have to wait it out and see if things are really normal to the way they are... SHe even had an explanation of why she left me hanging that night and i told her "i dont care what you did, that's your business", "i dont need to know". She kept telling me "there was no other guy, i was with my girl friend and she needed help" (i know this is BS and i told her that i dont care what she did, guy or girl.)

Also sometime during the fk session, she asked me if i missed her... i kinda just said a plain ya, and she said "i think you are lying"..so i dont know why she asked this question. BUt when she asked it, i felt a strong vibe from her, like an emotional vibe...like she cared for me..the vibe was so strong and I almost fell for it but I held myself together....i almost fell for this trap, she probably expected to see me crying or balling and getting all emotional...and telling her that i missed her...

WOW.
Obviously her telling you about some other guy was a test,which you passed....this time. If the two of you are going to be around each other for a while,you might as well get used to being tested by her. All women test,the difference here with your situation is that you getting overly emotional gave her a reason to test you more frequently than the average girl would do.

actually, while i was eating her out, i asked her if anybody else licked that pvssy (which i probably shouldn't have asked), she said "ya someone else did, what do you expect when we haven't chilled for a while". that's when i kept it cool and didnt react. I know you guys will condemn me for this but i hit it raw and nutted a little bit inside and pulled out the rest. So my whole nut was half in her and half outside. And then she got all pissed off and sh..t but she didn't really care then she said "next time we do it, you are using a condom" and i told her "hey if you are letting someone else hit it, at least make them use a condom so i dont catch anything".. she said "ya they are dont worry". then i said "why are you letting me hit it raw and not the other guy?" she said "because i like you better". I dont know if this is BS but those are the words that came out of her mouth.

Girls test you subconsciously, they don't notice that they are doing it. How i knew she was testing me, i asked her earlier where the lubricant (the lube we used each time we fvck) was, before we boned, and she said she threw it away. I didnt react at all. Then during the fvking, i told her "damn you threw that away, i kinda needed it too so i can just stick it inside, i have no time to be making a lube out of you" then she says "well i think i still have it, its in the back trunk" I was like "wtf, you are a liar...why'd you lie.." she said "well i dont know, i can't remember"

WOW.
This is a good thing. Shows her that you have a life,and it's also the opposite of what an overly emotional guy would do.

should i be the one reminding her of the movie date and telling her that I can't make it? how shall i do this? i dont want to go back to the old AFC pattern so i want to know how I should hit her up about this. Like i know she's gonna stop by my cube again on upcoming tues or wed. Truthfully, the old AFC pattern is an easy trap to fall in, and I just want to be fvck buddies with her so how often do fvck buddies usually meet on a weekly basis and how often do they fvck? each time they see each other? shall she be the one also initiating the moves?

for those guys out there that are experienced DJs with FBs, did you always have sex each time you saw each other?

WOW.
If you had had this kind of behavior from the beginning with her,you probably wouldn't have had to take the month long detour of going no contact.

ya man i screwed up big time, and Im gonna have to admit, she's my only REAL plate right now and some other girl that i've known since high school..that i haven't hit up for over 10 years but recently we talked again...

 

[909pua]

woops, accidentally posted...

 

[Captain]

I text her in the AM saying i want to know what time her lunch is at work (this was on saturday) cause i want to kick it with her. She didnt respond. this was at 8 AM. then at 4 pm, (we talked about going to this party together), i text her again and said "hey are you still going with me to the party? The worst thing you can do is not answer my phone calls or texts"...

You're acting needy and boring. She isn't a machine designed to give you orgasms, you've become complacent and you aren't making her feel anything towards you any more.

That's your problem. You've taken her for granted, haven't worked at keeping the attraction up, and she doesn't feel attracted to you any more.

she then texts back and says "no, sorry" (meaning she can't come with me). then like 10 minutes later i replied (which i know i should not have done cause i was thinking more with my other head than my brain),

Stop texting so much. Don't have conversations over text.

i said in text "anyway, you're acting weird and you are up to something and i will not put up with this behavior, so you better let me know what you're up to so i can switch from 5th to 1st gear"...

Needy and desperate. You should have ignored her and moved on with another woman.

she didnt reply after that. its monday, and still no response. ... what shall i do next?

Nothing. Wait for her to call you, if she does. If you want to initiate contact, wait a few weeks so your mistakes aren't so vivid in her mind.

 

[909pua]

ok here is the latest. I've been playing it cool with her recently like not acting like i care whether she comes by or not to visit me at work. I truly now know she is running tests on me. SO this past monday i see her. She tried to avoid me like always, and then i played it cool. I stopped her in her tracks and told her to take a break with me.

Then i asked her what she was doing after work. She said "im walking my dogs". then i said "ok, well let's go to the movies on wednesday night". she said "ok, we can meet at the AMC by here" i said "no, i want to go the drive thru" she said "no, i dont want to go there" (this is an obvious sign that she wasn't interested in me, sexually anymore".... i dont want to keep ramblin, i want to make this short

so then, she tells me "you know what, i dont even know if i want to see you or have sex with you anymore, as a matter of fact, we can't see each other til next month"

I said "that's ok, i'll meet you after work tonight" she said " no, im walking my dogs, bye" then we both part ways.

I then text her after work and say "hey, i want to take you to eat good food on thursday or friday, after that we can split" (she never responds and this was sent on monday after i saw her)

Then thursday comes along, i seriously was getting ready to NEXT and drop her from my life, i was at the point where i didnt give a damn anymore and out of nowhere she shows up and visits me. She had a different attitude than monday so i knew something was up (maybe some guy she is fooling around with didn't meet her needs after all). She showed me alot of interest (maybe because that day, i had some smaller tight fitted clothes so i look more sexier) but she was different. (this proves the point that girls dont know what they are saying when they are saying it, they don't know what they want, they are liars and they don't even know they are lying). She showed me a gang of interest that day, but i didn't call her on it, i just kept it cool and playful with her. she said she'll be back. Then after, i bounce and disappear from my seat and im sure she passed by but i wasnt there. So i didn't do no calling, didnt even bring up the fact if me and her are still gonna have dinner blah blah blah.
and btw, when she acted like she had no interest in me before in the last few months, i was at 191 lbs, so thanks to my diet, and P90X, im down to 178 lbs, which took me 5 weeks to lose, so looks are really important to girls + how you play your game.

Then i ignored or didn't call her like what IgetIt suggested after. THen yesterday (friday), she texted me again out of nowhere, i wasn't expecting it: "hey, did you leave work yet?" i didn't respond immediately, i responded 10 min later and said "ya, im leaving at 4"

then she calls me and i pick up and she says "nevermind, i wanted to kick it with you, but i got my period. and im happy so im gonna go home instead." (btw, this girl, last i fvked her, i nutted inside of her). I think she was doing another sh*T test on me so to make sure i passed the test and to show her that i value her more than just wanting sex from her, is say "so, we can still kick it and like get a quick smoothie or starbucks.

then we managed to meet up at a local starbucks and we chilled for like 1 hour. then we made plans with each other to go watch a movie this coming monday.

so what you guys think? i showed some signs of being desperate to have sex with her but she is still talking to me so obviously, there is something i have that she wants, maybe its my d&ck, she said i was thick!

 

[The Asian Lover]

The Asian Lover predicts:

In 2 months, you will be fired for sexual harassment.

Are you even hunting for other women? The bars, clubs, daygame, online game. Work is the worst place to hunt women.

If you set up an online dating account and hit the bars and clubs every weekend, in 1 month you would have more women that you could handle.

 

[909pua]

actually she doesn't work at my job. she's an outside contractor that comes in the company that i work for to deliver goods. and she passes by when she gets a chance to my cubicle. and yes im hunting for other women.