NEED HELP: Never dated, terrible at body language/flirting...

[themoz]

Hello!

I've joined because I've finally admitted to myself that I need serious help when it comes to women. I'm 23 years old, never dated, and moved to a strange and unfriendly place (CT) that makes it harder to meet new people.

I just don't know how to do basic sh!t: flirting, signals, etc... it all seems so foreign. I "dated" a few times in college with foreign girls, but it all ended awkwardly and didn't go anywhere (hence, the quotation). My humor is very sarcastic and nerdy and doesn't fly very well with women from experience, unless they already know me (which is pointless since they have to know me).

Finally having my first real out-of-college job after 9 months of out-of-workforce hell, I thought having a job and some luck would be enough on the online scene. That didn't work. Not 1 response in over 100 messages (after the first 20, I just started copy/pasting due to time constraints). Real-world scene seems awkward to go into a social bar by myself. Easy to get lost.

Honestly single life is very boring, especially here in Connecticut. Not really much to do, and all my friends are too far to hang with. Dono why people glamorize the Bachelor lifestyle so much. I think raising kids and a family could be a lot of fun.


Ending my rant, I am not sure how people learn this stuff. Maybe parents or buds, but I need someone to 'show me the ropes'. My buds and dad are all nerds, so that's why my skills probably suck. Reading this stuff doesn't resonate too well for me. I only learn from observation, really.



Is there groups on meetup.com or something to learn this stuff? Or classes that don't cost a fortune (at least some guarantee of success or refund)?

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Hello!

I've joined because I've finally admitted to myself that I need serious help when it comes to women. I'm 23 years old, never dated, and moved to a strange and unfriendly place (CT) that makes it harder to meet new people.

I just don't know how to do basic sh!t: flirting, signals, etc... it all seems so foreign. I "dated" a few times in college with foreign girls, but it all ended awkwardly and didn't go anywhere (hence, the quotation). My humor is very sarcastic and nerdy and doesn't fly very well with women from experience, unless they already know me (which is pointless since they have to know me).

Finally having my first real out-of-college job after 9 months of out-of-workforce hell, I thought having a job and some luck would be enough on the online scene. That didn't work. Not 1 response in over 100 messages (after the first 20, I just started copy/pasting due to time constraints). Real-world scene seems awkward to go into a social bar by myself. Easy to get lost.

Honestly single life is very boring, especially here in Connecticut. Not really much to do, and all my friends are too far to hang with. Dono why people glamorize the Bachelor lifestyle so much. I think raising kids and a family could be a lot of fun.


Ending my rant, I am not sure how people learn this stuff. Maybe parents or buds, but I need someone to 'show me the ropes'. My buds and dad are all nerds, so that's why my skills probably suck. Reading this stuff doesn't resonate too well for me. I only learn from observation, really.



Is there groups on meetup.com or something to learn this stuff? Or classes that don't cost a fortune (at least some guarantee of success or refund)?

So you know what you're doing wrong and still need tips on meeting chicks?

How did you meet your friends? Their friends? People in college? People on vacation? ANYONE for that matter? And you "can't" because you moved to CT? LMAO. Cut the bullsh1t. Chicks are people too. Get that fantasy of them being perfect and "scary" out of your mind.

If you feel a chick is flirting with you you simply hold out your phone and tell her: Put your number in my phone and we'll talk soon/ meet up sometime.

Either she does and doesn't give any excuses or she doesn't.

You can read and observe all you want but it ain't going to do sh1t if you don't do it yourself.

And you just by some unknown coinky dink "found" SS to "ask" about a "Coach"? I'm not buying it.

God help you if you actually think some "Guru" is going to "help" you. Most are way more fvcked up than their students. Good luck with that.

You "really" want to meet chicks, get PAID for it and not pay someone to help you to meet them while having them come to YOU? Get a part time second job in a high end retail store near you. You cannot avoid having to meet and interact with chicks everytime you work. Hot chicks working there, hot chicks shopping there, you make money, you are forced to meet all kinds.

Enough nonsense trollboy. No excuses.

 

[BrownBear]

God help you if you actually think some "Guru" is going to "help" you. Most are way more fvcked up than their students. Good luck with that.

I like this one :woo:

 

[Zion]

First off , online dating is just...nothing truly good can come off it. Maybe an easy lay if that's what you want , but still , I'd rather you not.



Reading the DJ Bible is step 1 in order for you to gain some basic understanding of the general concepts.

Aside from that ,what I recommend and what really got me going is a YouTube channel called SimplePickup. The guys there are around our age and are simply awesome for so many different reasons.


No bull**** with them.3 guys who each have their own individual style of pickup - which is so entertaining & refreshing to watch compared to other **** like RSD , where everyone is a clone of Tyler.

Also they are pretty much the only ones who do not appear to be more broken than those whom they teach.

They also have a more private site called Project Go that has a monthly subscription in which they post uncut videos of them picking up(as opposed to the youtube vids that are for entertainment purposes only) with analysis , with podcasts and a live stream for the sole purpose of educating.

If learning by observation is your style , I will 150% recommend you to go there immediately because there is literally no other better place.It does cost about 30$ / month for the absolute premium membership , but I cannot stress how worth it it is considering it's not only very helpful , but also very entertaining.

Anyway,watch their YouTube videos first and you can decide for yourself.

But again , read the DJ Bible before you do anything else. Take your time and suck in all the information it has to offer.


Ultimately , this is a game of numbers and a battle of experience.Like basketball. You can read about the game ,techniques and everything else for as long as you desire , but if you do not go out and actually take a free shot ,you'll never be a 'player'.

Learn the theory , but most importantly , apply it.

 

[Gunner26]

I just got to put this out there. The only way to get these skills is to practice. This means getting out there and flirting, touching girls, making jokes and failing at it all miserably.

I heard somewhere it takes 20 years to master a skill. To master the skill you have to practice everyday.

Every footballer started unable to kick a ball, every pianist had to learn jingle bells before Beethoven.

Once you start practicing you'll notice alot of people are in the same shape as you, except you are actually trying to improve.

Next time you have free time go out and get rejected by 5 girls. Nobody ever learned anything from winning at everything, think Michael Jordan getting dropped from high school basketball.

Once you get rejected, you'll realise it's not that bad. For me when I get rejected I just laugh it off.

Once you can handle rejection, then you can really start to improve, because you can see where you went wrong and work on that, rather than brood about how some girl didn't find your joke funny.

So yea. My advice is go out and practice, see what works for you and what doesn't, every person is different, every situation is different, what others may give as advice may work for them, but not neccessarily for you. to this end, I dtell you to get out there and fail, so that you will learn to win. The trick is not to give up. It is going to suck at first, you WILL get rejected alot, and if not, you are in a much better position than alot of men on this planet.

Hope this helps

Gunner

 

[Mr Wright]

There is so much advice out there to read, its going to be tough at the start to get going.

Keep it simple, the guys who get really good at this dont try to learn everything at once.

First, learn an opener, I dont care what it is, just get yourself talking to random women. Do not get attached to the outcome because you will bomb a lot at the start, hell you can have bad nights when you're good.

Two, remember that girls really do like guys, they arent aliens so some of them will like you. So the toughest thing you have to do is take the shot, even if you're doing really bad, just go for the phone number or even the kiss. Then go home, read about how you could have changed things, you will self correct eventually.

Three, you will poo yourself in the beginning about talking to random girls, approach anxiety never really goes away but you learn how to do with it.

Four, its important that you dont get mad when things dont go your way, girls may laugh in your face, not respond to your calls etc but just stay chilled.

Five, im going to say it again because its that important, unless you take a shot at it, you will never know how well you're doing unless she just goes "ok lets have sex now" ... and she wont say that.

Six, confidence + escalation + abundance = you getting a long way in this! have the confidence to know that if a girl isnt responding to your advances, you can walk away because there's always another girl.

Seven, dont read too much into this, dont let it consume you're life it can become very addictive.

 

[j0504s]

post a link to ur dating page or ur facebook...just a picture lets start with this...we can see your style and help u revamp ur self...then u should start reading the bible.....do uahve extreme fears of approaching and speaking to women? are you not so social in general? do u lack the words for conversations? you seem form what ive read to be a smart guy...and u took the first step of admitting u need help....so let us help u....id like to see a picture of u, this may take u a long way with grooming and what not....then we start speaking about inner game....if you conquer inner game things just come to u alot easier then u think...

J0504s

 

[themoz]

So you know what you're doing wrong and still need tips on meeting chicks?

How did you meet your friends? Their friends? People in college? People on vacation? ANYONE for that matter? And you "can't" because you moved to CT? LMAO. Cut the bullsh1t. Chicks are people too. Get that fantasy of them being perfect and "scary" out of your mind.[/QUPTE]

If I'm honest, I haven't been very good at meeting people before college. I was the outcast in High School...mostly because I thought skateboarding off steep steps, snorting crack, and trespassing the city grave across the street was retarded. I hated those people...

During college, I met people at dorms. I lived with them, or went to class. It made getting to know people easier, since you didnt have to make up the association.

Now, I live on my own and work in a business that my employer is the owner whom is 60 with wife and kids. Not many people I can expand my social network with.

I don't think they're perfect, lol. Obviously they're people, but not many of em like watching Battlestar Galactica and Star Trek, play Smash Bros, listen to Opeth, and employ nerd jokes. And I get that. Different strokes for different blokes (or gals) and never do that stuff around em.

But there's a lot of basic stuff I just don't know how to do: For instance, I really don't know how to compliment people. I dono why. I'm always afraid I'll come out as insincere so I never do it. And that's like the #1 cardinal rule when dealing with women.

I don't know how to flirt, or the signs of when she wants to be flirted with. I get its slight playful jabs, but I don't know how to do it with grace (a word that needs to be more in my repertoire)

I've thought of meetup events, so I'm gonna try some over next week.

If you feel a chick is flirting with you you simply hold out your phone and tell her: Put your number in my phone and we'll talk soon/ meet up sometime.

Either she does and doesn't give any excuses or she doesn't.

That can't honestly work...lol. That's hilarious if it does. Needs a youtube video.

You can read and observe all you want but it ain't going to do sh1t if you don't do it yourself.

And you just by some unknown coinky dink "found" SS to "ask" about a "Coach"? I'm not buying it.

I searched Google for "match.com response rate" because I was trying it and was failing at it. This site was #2 hit on a thread saying match was useless. Thought 'fvuck it. let me ask whats been bothering me for a while'.

Though really...do I need to validate myself on a public forum? I mean, why would I even ask if I didnt need help? You don't have to say anything if you want. Dont gotta be rude about it. :/

God help you if you actually think some "Guru" is going to "help" you. Most are way more fvcked up than their students. Good luck with that.

I saw a PuA Meetup.com event, but its in Long Island. Thought there might be something similar in CT

You "really" want to meet chicks, get PAID for it and not pay someone to help you to meet them while having them come to YOU? Get a part time second job in a high end retail store near you. You cannot avoid having to meet and interact with chicks everytime you work. Hot chicks working there, hot chicks shopping there, you make money, you are forced to meet all kinds.

I'll never get hired because I'm overqualified, lol. Tried getting a job at Macy's when things weren't looking too good back in September. Flat-out told me I was overqualified. Besides, I work enough hours now. Plus, I got a 2nd job for Saturdays. Think I'm good with working. Thanks for the tip, though!

 

[themoz]

I just got to put this out there. The only way to get these skills is to practice. This means getting out there and flirting, touching girls, making jokes and failing at it all miserably.

I heard somewhere it takes 20 years to master a skill. To master the skill you have to practice everyday.

Every footballer started unable to kick a ball, every pianist had to learn jingle bells before Beethoven.

Once you start practicing you'll notice alot of people are in the same shape as you, except you are actually trying to improve.

Next time you have free time go out and get rejected by 5 girls. Nobody ever learned anything from winning at everything, think Michael Jordan getting dropped from high school basketball.

Once you get rejected, you'll realise it's not that bad. For me when I get rejected I just laugh it off.

Once you can handle rejection, then you can really start to improve, because you can see where you went wrong and work on that, rather than brood about how some girl didn't find your joke funny.

So yea. My advice is go out and practice, see what works for you and what doesn't, every person is different, every situation is different, what others may give as advice may work for them, but not neccessarily for you. to this end, I dtell you to get out there and fail, so that you will learn to win. The trick is not to give up. It is going to suck at first, you WILL get rejected alot, and if not, you are in a much better position than alot of men on this planet.

Hope this helps

Gunner

I'm with you, but I need a sort of guide while out there, or some form of visual reference (seeing someone else doing it), which is something I've never had before. That's why I wanted to know if maybe some sort of 'secret bro code meetup to hit up chicks' existed.

 

[j0504s]

Btw holding at ur phoen and asking for ur number liked said early literally works 90% of the time for me th eonly times r if the have a bf or married....

 

[The Duke]

Themoz- you might trying googling "connecticut pua lair" and see what pops up in your area. The pua lairs typically have their own forums and have meetups where they go to different venues . Basically it would provide you with some opportunities to observe.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

So you know what you're doing wrong and still need tips on meeting chicks?

How did you meet your friends? Their friends? People in college? People on vacation? ANYONE for that matter? And you "can't" because you moved to CT? LMAO. Cut the bullsh1t. Chicks are people too. Get that fantasy of them being perfect and "scary" out of your mind.[/QUPTE]

If I'm honest, I haven't been very good at meeting people before college. I was the outcast in High School...mostly because I thought skateboarding off steep steps, snorting crack, and trespassing the city grave across the street was retarded. I hated those people...

During college, I met people at dorms. I lived with them, or went to class. It made getting to know people easier, since you didnt have to make up the association.

Now, I live on my own and work in a business that my employer is the owner whom is 60 with wife and kids. Not many people I can expand my social network with.

I don't think they're perfect, lol. Obviously they're people, but not many of em like watching Battlestar Galactica and Star Trek, play Smash Bros, listen to Opeth, and employ nerd jokes. And I get that. Different strokes for different blokes (or gals) and never do that stuff around em.

But there's a lot of basic stuff I just don't know how to do: For instance, I really don't know how to compliment people. I dono why. I'm always afraid I'll come out as insincere so I never do it. And that's like the #1 cardinal rule when dealing with women.

I don't know how to flirt, or the signs of when she wants to be flirted with. I get its slight playful jabs, but I don't know how to do it with grace (a word that needs to be more in my repertoire)

I've thought of meetup events, so I'm gonna try some over next week.



That can't honestly work...lol. That's hilarious if it does. Needs a youtube video.



I searched Google for "match.com response rate" because I was trying it and was failing at it. This site was #2 hit on a thread saying match was useless. Thought 'fvuck it. let me ask whats been bothering me for a while'.

Though really...do I need to validate myself on a public forum? I mean, why would I even ask if I didnt need help? You don't have to say anything if you want. Dont gotta be rude about it. :/


I saw a PuA Meetup.com event, but its in Long Island. Thought there might be something similar in CT



I'll never get hired because I'm overqualified, lol. Tried getting a job at Macy's when things weren't looking too good back in September. Flat-out told me I was overqualified. Besides, I work enough hours now. Plus, I got a 2nd job for Saturdays. Think I'm good with working. Thanks for the tip, though!

You'll never get hired because you're "overqualified". Department stores take practically anyone. MANY people work various full time jobs of all kinds and work at Dept stores part time and or are in college, graduating, have graduated and work in labs, fortune 500 companies etc. and come in as vendors or work part time. How "convienient" you got a part time job all of a sudden and you REALLY want to "meet chicks" but yet EVEN IF you did have a part time you couldn't quit it and take a part time in a dept store? LMAO Anyone with ANY common sense knows you are full of it. I've blown the troll job out kid. No excuses.

I'm not buying the BS AT ALL. You and I know DAMN well you had to come up with ANY excuse to keep the troll going. Good luck trollboy! Keep on trollin!

 

[sageproduct]

Go to Youtube

Go to SimplePickup's channel
Watch and learn
Do what they do

Fwck the DJ bible for now you don't have any reference experience for it to help

 

[foreverAFC]

i think one of the first steps is to get comfortable in your own skin, its hard and it will take a long time or mabye something you will have to work on forever, but the more comfortable and less self conscious you feel about yourself the easier it will be to start naturally talking to people

 

[themoz]

You'll never get hired because you're "overqualified". Department stores take practically anyone. MANY people work various full time jobs of all kinds and work at Dept stores part time and or are in college, graduating, have graduated and work in labs, fortune 500 companies etc. and come in as vendors or work part time. How "convienient" you got a part time job all of a sudden and you REALLY want to "meet chicks" but yet EVEN IF you did have a part time you couldn't quit it and take a part time in a dept store? LMAO Anyone with ANY common sense knows you are full of it. I've blown the troll job out kid. No excuses.

I'm not buying the BS AT ALL. You and I know DAMN well you had to come up with ANY excuse to keep the troll going. Good luck trollboy! Keep on trollin!

OK, I HAVE to respond to this. You don't know how bad the job market still is out there. I was at those sh!t Workforce 1 places in NYC. Literally lines of HUNDREDS of people for maybe a half dozen jobs at Macys or Target. And that's not even the interview!

If you're out-of-college and didn't land a job straight out (or if you refused to deal with shady investment firms like AXA and the like selling bad securities to old people and playing on their sensibilities), then you're stuck between a rock and the hard place. I was there. I traveled hundreds of miles for job fairs and getting d!ck...maybe a sympathy interview or two.

Can't get a sh!t job because they don't take in college grads.
Can't start a business without credit and a lengthy job history to borrow funds from the bank.

The only option was to find a job that would accept my degree...along with the thousands of others.

You have HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of new grads every year graduating all with similar degrees competing for the same jobs of

a) the unemployed, out of workforce, or underemployed recent grads
b) laid off workers

Makes out for a lot of desperate people.

I got friends with BS in Accounting doing clerical work 2 years later graduating with 3.5+ GPA's. engineering friends finding jobs years later, or giving up altogether.

I got my job now, and I'm very appreciative of my boss for hiring me. All the options I had are back on the table after a few years.



Once I get home, I'll definetly make a concerted effort to search out these places and take a look at that Simple Pickup youtube link. But I had to respond, since there's very little information out there on how tough the job market still is, unless you have experienced it.

You obviously haven't, so shut up.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

OK, I HAVE to respond to this. You don't know how bad the job market still is out there. I was at those sh!t Workforce 1 places in NYC. Literally lines of HUNDREDS of people for maybe a half dozen jobs at Macys or Target. And that's not even the interview!

If you're out-of-college and didn't land a job straight out (or if you refused to deal with shady investment firms like AXA and the like selling bad securities to old people and playing on their sensibilities), then you're stuck between a rock and the hard place. I was there. I traveled hundreds of miles for job fairs and getting d!ck...maybe a sympathy interview or two.

Can't get a sh!t job because they don't take in college grads.
Can't start a business without credit and a lengthy job history to borrow funds from the bank.

The only option was to find a job that would accept my degree...along with the thousands of others.

You have HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of new grads every year graduating all with similar degrees competing for the same jobs of

a) the unemployed, out of workforce, or underemployed recent grads
b) laid off workers

Makes out for a lot of desperate people.

I got friends with BS in Accounting doing clerical work 2 years later graduating with 3.5+ GPA's. engineering friends finding jobs years later, or giving up altogether.

I got my job now, and I'm very appreciative of my boss for hiring me. All the options I had are back on the table after a few years.



Once I get home, I'll definetly make a concerted effort to search out these places and take a look at that Simple Pickup youtube link. But I had to respond, since there's very little information out there on how tough the job market still is, unless you have experienced it.

You obviously haven't, so shut up.

Getting quite defensive and coming up with numerous excuses that you can’t get a part time job to meet chicks. You’ve got “two jobs”, can’t get hired because of the economy, you’re overqualified etc. It's no wonder you can’t meet chicks and would rather try your hand at trolling the net for “advice”.

I for one find it mind boggling just how many people I’ve seen starting jobs at my part time, leaving,and coming back. Must be some voodoo magic on their part. I’m sure you’ll think of multiple excuses more why they got hired and you “can’t”. You aren’t here for advice clown. You’re here to troll. I’ve busted you boy. Don’t worry though. There’s still plenty of other “DJs” who’ll buy the nonsense you’re selling though you know and I know you’re full of it, and not just excuses.

Trollboy needs someone to "observe" and hold his hand to meet chicks. Did you need someone to observe getting employed and hold your hand before you got your "two jobs" trollboy? hahahaha Good day.

 

[nroug7]

You can never be overqualified or underqualified for a job unless you have absolutely no experience in the field, in which case you can be trained if need be.
Besides, most jobs are actually obtained through Experience plus Social networking, where does education through College fit into that?
That's right, nowhere.
ADIOS!

 

[themoz]

Getting quite defensive and coming up with numerous excuses that you can’t get a part time job to meet chicks. You’ve got “two jobs”, can’t get hired because of the economy, you’re overqualified etc. It's no wonder you can’t meet chicks and would rather try your hand at trolling the net for “advice”.

I for one find it mind boggling just how many people I’ve seen starting jobs at my part time, leaving,and coming back. Must be some voodoo magic on their part. I’m sure you’ll think of multiple excuses more why they got hired and you “can’t”. You aren’t here for advice clown. You’re here to troll. I’ve busted you boy. Don’t worry though. There’s still plenty of other “DJs” who’ll buy the nonsense you’re selling though you know and I know you’re full of it, and not just excuses.

Trollboy needs someone to "observe" and hold his hand to meet chicks. Did you need someone to observe getting employed and hold your hand before you got your "two jobs" trollboy? hahahaha Good day.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2013/01/29/underemployed-overeducated_n_2568203.html

http://www.npr.org/2013/02/02/17092...llege-students-underemployed-after-graduation

I guess the Huffington Post and NPR are also trolling you, too.

A troll is harping on someone's sensitive issue just to be argumentative and confrontational, even if the poster doesn't even care about the issue themselves. Just to start a pointless flame war online.

Looks to me you are the one trolling.

When have I said anything confrontational to anyone?

 

[themoz]

You can never be overqualified or underqualified for a job

What?

Are you from another dimension of infinite resources and knowledge?

Employers only pay for experience and education they desire. More exp or edu = more $$$. overqualified. Employers (though illegal) also age discriminate on the same grounds of experience.

Not meeting criteria, education, or experience = unhireable = underqualified

This isn't a really difficuit or uncommon concept, really.:wave:


Anyway, why is this being harped on? I have a job already.:yawn:

 

[themoz]

Themoz- you might trying googling "connecticut pua lair" and see what pops up in your area. The pua lairs typically have their own forums and have meetups where they go to different venues . Basically it would provide you with some opportunities to observe.

Yeah, actually there's a whole site for that, but you need to contact the admin to gain access. Should I email that I just want to observe, or go the whole "teach me, sensai"?