Need Everyones Quick Input Here!!

Checkmate12

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Alright Im going on a big second date tonight. It's our second date meaning we've already covered the siblings, family, job, hobbies, basic interests etc. etc.

So as a general rule of thumb, we should have the girl contribute up to 75% of the dialogue. What are some solid, fun questions you guys ask to get a girl to open up, start talking, and make herself vulnerable? Unique questions! Go!
 

Mantis Toboggan

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You can't have strangers write questions for you to ask on a date. We don't know your personality...your sense of humor....or really anything else about you.

Surely you can't be that bad at talking to other human beings. Pretend it's a friend. Ask about her week. Ask about vacation plans. Tell cool stories about yourself. Your job. Talk about the news. Complain about a stupid movie that's going to come out. Anything, really.
 

Gangster Of Love

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Have you kissed her?

You need to get her laughing, and lean in and kiss her while she's laughing.

Enough of all these "big second date" stuff. The more time you spend with her, without physically escalating, the deeper the whole you're digging for yourself.
 

Checkmate12

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Gangster Of Love said:
Have you kissed her?

You need to get her laughing, and lean in and kiss her while she's laughing.

Enough of all these "big second date" stuff. The more time you spend with her, without physically escalating, the deeper the whole you're digging for yourself.

Ive heard this mentioned many times, on here and other places..

Could you explain the theory of the importance of escalating a little better to me?

She and I are both strong Christians so sex is not really the goal in my situation. Obviously the physical chemistry is still just as important, but considering her beliefs and her history of only one serious bf ever it seems like the second date is almost too quick for a kiss.

Your thoughts?
 

Gangster Of Love

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Ok, I will attempt to clarify it as much I can.

If she is a Christian, and inexperienced in dating, it will most likely be one of those situations where she will think that taking it very slow and almost non-physical, is the best and only way to approach dating. She might mean well, but she really doesn't understand game, or have a choice wether she will like you more in the future or less. All she might know is that she's not as much into guy as she is when she first meets them. I have a friend who is that way. And guys tend to lose interest soon.

In this case, she might be open to you showing physical affection, but because you think she's a prude or too much of a good girl, don't make an attempt; then all of a sudden, she has lost interest, and won't even know why. This is an all too common scenario.

So what to do? I say just escalate, even if its very slow and minimal steps, like holding her hand, putting your hand on her shoulder. Touching her hair, and yes, kissing. No need to grope, touch her in her R rated and X rated areas or try to bed her. YOu just need to make it clear, through physical affection, that you are interested, and more importantly, you want to find out wether she is interested or not. And don't for a minute fall for the "I think all relationships should start with a friendship as a foundation" argument. Because if she says that, she probably believes it; unlike some women who say that, but have no problem jumping into bed if they like the guy. Not with her, as an inexperienced one, she will actuallly say it, and not realizing that is not how this stuff works.

About kissing being too soon. Just a reminder, in the words of a wise man: "He who hesitates, masturbates."

Get to work, and please report back. :yes:
 

TheGambino

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Dated this Christian girl last week kino ed her touched her arms hair flirted a lot dj style she responded great on the date but ignoring me pretty much on texting i would saydont give her TOO much DJish Do it but dont rush like i did didnt work for me..
 

Checkmate12

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Alright, just an update for all of you helpful folks..

The date was sooo solid and I took the advice of all you brilliant guys and kissed the little beauty. Excellent advice. I think if I can play it cool over the next couple weeks Ill have this one on lock!

*Virtual high-five*
 

Checkmate12

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escaleraroyal said:
you dont talk, you take her to your bedroom touch, escalate, fock.
I know this might be an abstract concept for you, but sex isn't the ultimate goal for me. Crazy, I know.
 

jeffreylebowski

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Whatever your goal is with this girl...unless it is platonic friendship...you will not achieve it until you have sex.

Generally speaking, the sooner you sleep with her, the better. I could write ten pages on why that is, but many others who are smarter than me have already done so.
 

fuzzball

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jeffreylebowski said:
Whatever your goal is with this girl...unless it is platonic friendship...you will not achieve it until you have sex.

Generally speaking, the sooner you sleep with her, the better. I could write ten pages on why that is, but many others who are smarter than me have already done so.
while im not here to argue Kino or pretend i am a master at dating.....i will say sex is statistically not even in the top 10 most important parts of a LTR. sex is important sure but its not the glue that holds a relationship together. its all the other things and sex is a byproduct of that. the reason is likely because you can have sex with anyone. sex does not set you apart from the rest of the pack.

so the christian philosophy of waiting is actually backed up. of course i realize most on here are going for the quick "pump and dump" philosophy. but generally speaking for LTR if it starts hard and fast with the sex its not going to go as well.


usually LTR last better if

1. you dont bang very early on
2. you dont move in together until you are least engaged....preferably waiting till marriage or some similar kind of agreement.....no i dont really mean what marriage has morphed into.
3. sex is not the main glue that holds you together.
4. learn the ways of SoSuave


Gangster Of Love said:
Just a reminder, in the words of a wise man: "He who hesitates, masturbates."
LOL saving that
 

jeffreylebowski

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Right...I'm just saying if you wait to escalate to sex for too long...there will be no ltr. You are correct...a relationship based on pretty much just sex usually doesn't work out. Been there done that.
 

Checkmate12

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jeffreylebowski said:
Right...I'm just saying if you wait to escalate to sex for too long...there will be no ltr. You are correct...a relationship based on pretty much just sex usually doesn't work out. Been there done that.
If you wait too long for sex there wont be an ltr?? Haha

Some of the strongest ltr's I have ever seen waited until after marriage for sex. Your philosophy might work for you but clearly our priorities are different.
 

instantnoodles

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This is a very interesting thread. I find CheckMate's philosophy captivating as well seeing as I've seen examples of marriages like that in real life.
 

VladPatton

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Having sex will fortify her pair-bonding with you, it's not about just getting off. The longer you wait, the more she will have a chance to friend-zone you. 90% of the members here experienced this, it's all around these threads, documented in black and white. If she dumps you and bangs a neck tattooed motherfücker on the second date, it'll all come clear. Hopefully, you won't find out, but in dealing with girls...you never know.

Good luck.
 

The_411

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God damnit stop treating sex like it's some filthy act. Take heed the longer you wait the less likely it's going to happen. It's fin not to be all about sex but don't treat it like a stinky diaper (well unless it does stink).

Waiting until marriage is terrible because you have no clue if the juice is worth the squeeze.

It's not the end all be all of relationships but if it sucks then the relationship in spite of all its other awesome qualities will suffer.
 

The_411

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God damnit stop treating sex like it's some filthy act. Take heed the longer you wait the less likely it's going to happen. It's fin not to be all about sex but don't treat it like a stinky diaper (well unless it does stink).

Waiting until marriage is terrible because you have no clue if the juice is worth the squeeze.

It's not the end all be all of relationships but if it sucks then the relationship in spite of all its other awesome qualities will suffer.
 

fuzzball

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the thing of it is guys is people used to wait to have sex thats what the honeymoon was all about finally you get to have sex. and those marriages were arguably far stronger than the ones we crap out today. so the bang her sooner philosophy is not exactly time tested like the other one. i know of plenty of couples that waited till marriage and 40+ years later they are still going strong so lets not pretend the bang her sooner is "the one and only way or even the best way". we are not saying sex is filthy(i admit thats a past attitude i once had thanks religion....) but saying doing it sooner is better is quite the recent thing. ironically enough around this time divorce rates and relationship happiness has been respectively rising and tanking.

the problem is

1. guys using this site to just bang girls and never settle down(real men do in fact want to father children and take care of them maybe not at 16 but you get the point)
2. the general state of affairs between the two sexes today
3. feminism....that nasty plague.
4. more on point 1....while it might seem to cool to never settle down and to never have kids....thats really not the point of what men do. men cannot reach their full potential until becoming a father just as a woman cannot reach her full potential until becoming a mother. its the peak of what a relationship is about. look i get it we are all here because we suck(ed) with girls and want to improve that. but thats not all there is to the all mighty DJ title. thats not all there is to being a man.

yes interacting with girls is part of it but taking it to the next level with a girl worth your time is the full cycle of "The Game". your father did it. my father did it. they all had game and they took it to the next level with a family. and holy hell did my old man have game....he married a spanish girl that hates southerns(hes a southern) and mormons(shes catholic and was told mormons are devil worshippers) and his parents hated her because she was a worthless half breed(only half spanish)....but the man had game(he even made her wait 4 weeks for the first date that game playing bum lol) and took it to the next level. thats what a real man does. reading this site i now understand a lot better how my old man has kept the family intact all these years and how exactly he has kept my mother in check. not insulting my mother here but she is a woman and we all know how that goes....my father did it and so did yours unless he bailed on her when she got pregnant at which point he did not have real game and was a coward. but if he stuck around like my old man for 48 years then yes he has game and completed the cycle of "game".

when you achieve a LTR with a family and manage to hold it all together for 40+ years....then my friend you have earned the DJ title and are a master of game. but if all you can do is pump and dump....sure you might have more experience than me but you are no more of a man than I and youve missed the point of the DJ bible lessons.

also i may just be wrong on this but i like to think people can improve at sex as well so if try one isnt 10/10 it can probably get better.
 

Bible_Belt

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I like to get sex out of the way asap. If she wants to not put out on the first date, that's ok, but she had better on the second or third. I like to get past the bvsh!tting each other stage quickly. It's all just an act on both sides until you fvck. But after that happens, you can get started really knowing each other as people.
 

theprof

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You've got a big part of the battle won because she agreed to a second date. She must like you at least a little bit. Relax and be yourself. Let things flow and you'll be ok.
 
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