Anti Dr. Phil
Okay Phil I've read the thread. Re-read it and re-read it again. I've looked at it chronologically as you have instructed and here is what I've found.
Tomzel was seeing this girl for 4 months and for whatever reason she decided that she needed space. Tom gave her that space (somewhat) because they ended up talking/texting for the next few days/weeks. During that time she tells Tom that she does like him and misses him but she really needs more than just a few days of space. She even asks for her things back that she's left at Tom's place.
Now at this point I think its safe to say that she has given Tomzel MANY indications that this relationship is over even though she's failed to come right out and say it. Point being its OVER! It was probably over a few weeks before.
NOW THIS is where your post first appears and your "pre-emptive strike" starts.
Have I missed something Phil?
She says she needs space - You advise a pre-emptive strike
I'm not sure where the "pre-emptive" part of your strike is since she's already indicated its over. But let's dissect the silliness of your approach a little more.
"we had had a good run, and I know you need moments of reflection to figure out the many mountains of issues that's been plaguing you, so outta respect for your depressive state, I'll give that to you.
Newsflash Phil you're not GIVING her anything. Its her space and she's TAKING it from you. She's telling you. Albeit indirectly. But I like how you add in a few TNT comments (as you call them) and insult her mental state.
If I were walking a mile in your shoes, I might've been asking the same of you. So on that note, "IF" you figure things out and wanna chat give me a call. And if we both happen to be available at the time, we'll see what happens".
Guess what Phil she's not calling because she already told you she wanted space and you acted like a baby and turned hostile on her. She tried to let you down easy but your ego has you believing it is YOU doing the dumping. To make matters worse you insult her. Very classy.
...let her know in no uncertain tone that space means space - which means total and complete room for clarity because you don't want to take on any of her emotional burdens if you two aren't seeing each other. There will be no communication via text, email, phone, or IM. Let her know that under no circumstances will you be her emotional crutch, nor will you lend a shoulder for her to cry on.
Now that is the silliest part. She's indicated she's no longer interested and you threaten to take away the thing that matters LEAST to her - your presence! OUCH! That hurts Phil.
Look her square in the fricken eye, and don't hesitate. You gotta have it in your heart, soul, and gut that you're prepared to walk. Then do it.
I like the way you do it too Phil. All powerful and Peyton Manning like. :crackup:
I'm not sure why you keep telling me to re-read this thread Phil. You seem to be the one missing the chronological order of things. If Tomzel was wise and recognized the signs of Low Interest previously, then your speech MAY have had an effect BEFORE she gave him the "I need space" line. However to do it afterwards just REEKS of insecurity.
Which is why I joined this thread in the first place. You see Phil I'm here to help my fellow Don Juans. I've been doing it for years. When I see someone giving poor advice I'll call them out on it. I'm not attacking you personally. Only your approach to ending a relationship when a chick says she needs space. Don't be so sensitive.
Slick: stope for a second...breath...read the thread....then lets start again. Lil' cousin, you are so chicken before the egg, it's ridiculous. Let me slow this down. As I said earlier....WE ALL KNEW HER INTEREST LEVEL WAS LOW. EVERYONE HERE KNEW IT. WHICH IS WHY I SAID PREEMPTIVE STRIKE. You're so eager so spit flames to the world about how to deal with low interest methods, that you fail to realize the obvious. Have a drink of scotch lil' cousin...Jesus H. Christ!!
Actually Phil I think its you who needs to breathe and take a moment to relax. You seem to have your panties in a knot. Hence all the TYPING IN CAPITAL LETTERS, calling me lil' cousin and lil' bro, and taking the Lord's name in vain. With exclamation points too!!! All this because of some simple critism.
Insulting my confidence too.
Especially nasty for a guy who finds it necessary to boast about his worldliness, his education and his experience with women. (Funny how a guy with a degree from Princeton and an MBA from Oxford types with so many spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, and poor sentence structure.)
Anyway Phil I'm not here to start a p!ssing war with you. You'll notice I never insulted you personally during this thread. Not once! (Okay maybe that last paragraph was insulting but you probably deserve that
) The only thing I've been critical about is your approach to this matter. The advice you have given to Tomzel and the rest of the people here.
I don't need to call you down or insult you personally. I don't need to build myself up either. I'm only here to give advice and help others. So you can call me whatever you want and jump up and down trying to gain some respect for your views but the simple fact remains............
Her:
"I think I need some space."
Tomzel:
smiles and nods head "You know I think you're right. See you around." walks away and disappears....
Anything wrong with that?
Peace.