Need Advice!!!

[Latinoman]

Harsh? I'm honest.

It does not happen to me.

For starters...I have no sexual interest in my best friend and for that matter any of my close friends. They become like sisters.

Second...when it comes to proposing to a woman for marriage I'm extremely selective.

And third...I don't get involved in any serious relationship with women that have men in their bedroom. It tarnishes my reputation and send the message out there that I'm easy to cheat on.

 

[RobLB]

And third...I don't get involved in any serious relationship with women that have men in their bedroom. It tarnishes my reputation and send the message out there that I'm easy to cheat on.

What the hell does that mean? U think I had a crystal ball that told me she was going to do that? The serious relationship was already there BEFORE the bedroom incident,... hence the reason I got out.

And I think it helps to actually become friends with a chick first so you can get to know each other if your looking for a LTR. Not bang her then tell her you love her.

 

[jophil28]

Hey Rob - at least you now know who and what she is because of how she CONDUCTS herself with her Ex . Thank your licky stars thaT YOU DID NOT SIGN ON FOR A TOUR.

 

[Latinoman]

And I think it helps to actually become friends with a chick first so you can get to know each other if your looking for a LTR. Not bang her then tell her you love her.

Really? That is why instead of having you rubbing her back (even when you tried to help) she decided to have her ex-husband!

There is a chemical reaction that some women experience when meeting a particular man. It is this chemical strong attraction and desire for that man. The type of man that she will that same day talk to her best friend or sister or mom about.

My ex-wife was one of those. We were married for decade and half. That woman was 100% committed to me. She still a good friend and if I would have never left she would be still with me. I know, I know, I left. But that who I am. A man that was born to make hard decisions even if to the naked eye it does not make sense.

The woman I'm currently seeing has been with me for over a year. She also had that chemical reaction and by the look of things I would have to do something drastic for her to dump me.

Those are two examples. I can provide more.

What do they have in common?

1- I had sex with them prior to a date or during the first date.

2- I did not know them before

3-the times we had our lows...it was that sexual attraction that kept us hanging together until I manage to fix things

4- after 10 years, I trusted my ex more than anyone in my life. That is...90% trust. My current girlfriend I trust with my home keys, and other few things too.

5- in summary...after all that fvcking (and a little love making to mix things up) they also became friends. They were NOT my friends prior...they became after.

When a woman does not feel that first chemical attraction for a man...and things start as friendship...you can rest assure of two things:

1- she is with you because she sees that you have some things she likes. In another words...she is with you for RATIONAL reasons. Rational women?

2- the likelihood of eventually losing her due to some chemical attraction toward another man are much greater. You know...EMOTIONAL/BIOLOGICAL.

Your girl was with those two men because she felt that chemical rush. At least with one of them. She was with you because after getting to know you better (via friendship), she realized you had the qualities to care for her and her children.

Perfect situation? The chemical rush and later learning you also had the qualities. Women rarely want to dump those kind of men.


That is my view based on my personal opinion. And that is why I rarely pursue women that has not shown clear attraction for me.

 

[RobLB]

Your girl was with those two men because she felt that chemical rush. At least with one of them. She was with you because after getting to know you better (via friendship), she realized you had the qualities to care for her and her children.

Perfect situation? The chemical rush and later learning you also had the qualities. Women rarely want to dump those kind of men.


That is my view based on my personal opinion. And that is why I rarely pursue women that has not shown clear attraction for me.

I think we are on two different pages here. I knew this girl because she and my sister were good friends so i would see her when she came to see my sister and then she started cutting my hair. So,... we became friends. We then started sending text back and forth but had yet to meet anywhere or go on any kind of date. Then, one night she was out and called me and sorta invited herself over to my place. This was the FIRST time we had actually been alone together,..ever! Needless to say we ended up having sex that same night,...the first time we got alone together. And it was unbelievable!! And this continued on and on. So i guess u can say we actually became (best) friends after 2 or so months of this.
I kept telling her the whole time I did not want any kind of relationship because i was happy by myself. But she kept saying that she would change that. And low and behold she did. She never pressured me into anything she just stayed with me cause she was crazy about me. So to me, yes,...that was (clear attraction). I tried breaking it off a couple of times but she would tell me she would give me space and let me make sure that was what i wanted. I knew she was the one.
But i guess i was wrong....

 

[Mr.Positive]

Really? That is why instead of having you rubbing her back (even when you tried to help) she decided to have her ex-husband!

There is a chemical reaction that some women experience when meeting a particular man. It is this chemical strong attraction and desire for that man. The type of man that she will that same day talk to her best friend or sister or mom about.

My ex-wife was one of those. We were married for decade and half. That woman was 100% committed to me. She still a good friend and if I would have never left she would be still with me. I know, I know, I left. But that who I am. A man that was born to make hard decisions even if to the naked eye it does not make sense.

The woman I'm currently seeing has been with me for over a year. She also had that chemical reaction and by the look of things I would have to do something drastic for her to dump me.

Those are two examples. I can provide more.

What do they have in common?

1- I had sex with them prior to a date or during the first date.

2- I did not know them before

3-the times we had our lows...it was that sexual attraction that kept us hanging together until I manage to fix things

4- after 10 years, I trusted my ex more than anyone in my life. That is...90% trust. My current girlfriend I trust with my home keys, and other few things too.

5- in summary...after all that fvcking (and a little love making to mix things up) they also became friends. They were NOT my friends prior...they became after.

When a woman does not feel that first chemical attraction for a man...and things start as friendship...you can rest assure of two things:

1- she is with you because she sees that you have some things she likes. In another words...she is with you for RATIONAL reasons. Rational women?

2- the likelihood of eventually losing her due to some chemical attraction toward another man are much greater. You know...EMOTIONAL/BIOLOGICAL.

Your girl was with those two men because she felt that chemical rush. At least with one of them. She was with you because after getting to know you better (via friendship), she realized you had the qualities to care for her and her children.

Perfect situation? The chemical rush and later learning you also had the qualities. Women rarely want to dump those kind of men.


That is my view based on my personal opinion. And that is why I rarely pursue women that has not shown clear attraction for me.

Great advise Latinoman, question though. Is it possible to fake this kind of chemical rush? ie...how do you recognize it?

 

[Phyzzle]

Is it possible to fake this kind of chemical rush? ie...how do you recognize it?

You mean how do you recognize a case of true high interest. That's a good quesiton, and I want to hear Latinoman's thoughts on it, too.

My experience: when she can't keep her damn hands off you in public. Sometimes, when you 1st start hanging out girls are visibly nervous around you, but they still want to walk shoulder to shoulder.

Warning: don't judge the chemical rush by "wild monkey sex" you have at night. There are so many threads on here about, "my gf cancels dates to hang with her guy friends, and then dissappears for days, but the sex is so good that I know she really just wants me . . ."

Hey wait, this IS one of those threads.

 

[Last Man Standing]

I lost my long post - it went somewhere in the abyss - does this ever happen to you guys?

Rob got robbed!!! My advice to you is to look at a woman's past and you will see her future!! And don't make excuses for her ill behavior!!

You are 41, so I understand the need to be with a mate to settle down with in your older years but it is best for you to be of the mindset that you will NOT get married ever!! Sometimes we force ourselves to accept things/people we shouldn't accept because we want the end result so badly - this always leads to failure!!

Her behavior didn't surprise me at all - this is what hors do today - this is a time of deceit and hors are the most deceitful because they take something so natural - our affection for one another - and make it into something unnatural and conniving. How do they do this? They do this through words that convey affection but their actions prove their words wrong! They open their legs and say, "I love you" to get inside a man's head and heart so that he will trust her but then her actions speak louder than her empty words!!

They do this because they WANT something and they'll feign affection to get what they want!!

Natural affection is a rare quality in this age of deceit - only marry a woman that has natural affection for you - she must be tested and tried to prove her love for you!

Rob, don't trust hors ever - you have assets that you have to protect, and your honor. I suggest you never talk to her again - ever!!!!

Lationman, yes, there is an attraction chemical reaction that takes place between the sexes but this doesn't excuse their hor behavior!! Hors seem to always have these chemical reactions - so much so that their bodies are a walking laboratory!!

 

[Mr.Positive]

IRob got robbed!!! My advice to you is to look at a woman's past and you will see her future!! And don't make excuses for her ill behavior!!

You are 41, so I understand the need to be with a mate to settle down with in your older years but it is best for you to be of the mindset that you will NOT get married ever!! Sometimes we force ourselves to accept things/people we shouldn't accept because we want the end result so badly - this always leads to failure!!

You know Last Man, you really do give some good advise. I have to read your posts twice to get it though (the first time I'm laughing too hard)..

 

[MaddXMan]

Really? That is why instead of having you rubbing her back (even when you tried to help) she decided to have her ex-husband!

There is a chemical reaction that some women experience when meeting a particular man. It is this chemical strong attraction and desire for that man. The type of man that she will that same day talk to her best friend or sister or mom about.

My ex-wife was one of those. We were married for decade and half. That woman was 100% committed to me. She still a good friend and if I would have never left she would be still with me. I know, I know, I left. But that who I am. A man that was born to make hard decisions even if to the naked eye it does not make sense.

The woman I'm currently seeing has been with me for over a year. She also had that chemical reaction and by the look of things I would have to do something drastic for her to dump me.

Those are two examples. I can provide more.

What do they have in common?

1- I had sex with them prior to a date or during the first date.

2- I did not know them before

3-the times we had our lows...it was that sexual attraction that kept us hanging together until I manage to fix things

4- after 10 years, I trusted my ex more than anyone in my life. That is...90% trust. My current girlfriend I trust with my home keys, and other few things too.

5- in summary...after all that fvcking (and a little love making to mix things up) they also became friends. They were NOT my friends prior...they became after.

When a woman does not feel that first chemical attraction for a man...and things start as friendship...you can rest assure of two things:

1- she is with you because she sees that you have some things she likes. In another words...she is with you for RATIONAL reasons. Rational women?

2- the likelihood of eventually losing her due to some chemical attraction toward another man are much greater. You know...EMOTIONAL/BIOLOGICAL.

Your girl was with those two men because she felt that chemical rush. At least with one of them. She was with you because after getting to know you better (via friendship), she realized you had the qualities to care for her and her children.

Perfect situation? The chemical rush and later learning you also had the qualities. Women rarely want to dump those kind of men.


That is my view based on my personal opinion. And that is why I rarely pursue women that has not shown clear attraction for me.

This way of thinking is rock solid. I look back at my relationships and the best ones were where my partner and I ****ed the night we met. That animalistic sexual attraction has got to come first, and fast. If it's not there you are wasting your time. It's can be easy to forget this or get off track.

 

[##17]

What the hell does that mean? U think I had a crystal ball that told me she was going to do that? The serious relationship was already there BEFORE the bedroom incident,... hence the reason I got out.

And I think it helps to actually become friends with a chick first so you can get to know each other if your looking for a LTR. Not bang her then tell her you love her.

RE the crystal ball comment: Didn't she cheat on her now ex-husband? I know what brokers always say about past performance not guaranteeing future returns, but..

 

[RobLB]

RE the crystal ball comment: Didn't she cheat on her now ex-husband? I know what brokers always say about past performance not guaranteeing future returns, but..

Yes,...she did but it was because he cheated on her and it was at the end of their marriage.

And that was always in the back of my mind,...believe me.

 

[Latinoman]

She cheated because he cheated on her? Wow...so, what a way to justify cheap behavior: "my husband cheat on me...now I going to suck and fvck some random cvck".

 

[Metro3pilot]

Don't make excuses for the ho Rob .....

does it really matter why she cheated on her husband ?

morals, integrity ...do they mean anything anymore ..or is it ok to lower yourself to someone elses level ..because they went there first ...

get this thru your head Rob ........ clearly this girl can't be trusted ! ! ! ! !

I'm not going to bash you for your friends first approach, thinking she was someone you could trust ...hell everyone on this board had been blindsided by a woman, you're not the lone ranger here .....

SHE CHOSE TO BE WITH HER EX, THEN IGNORED YOU, TO NOT UPSET HIM ........... DOES IT REALLY SEEM LIKE SHE CARES FOR YOU OR TAKES YOUR RELATIONSHIP AS MORE IMPORTANT ? I THINK NOT ROB

TELL YOURSELF THIS OVER AND OVER AND DONT MAKE ANY EXCUSES

:trouble:

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

ROB, the only person who's actions you can control are your own. This woman has spoken volumes to you with her past, her words and her behavior. Don't continue to reinforce her behavior and decisions by rewarding her with your own concern. People think the opposite of love is hate, it's not; the opposite of love is indifference and this is what you need to be now, indifferent.

 

[RobLB]

ROB, the only person who's actions you can control are your own. This woman has spoken volumes to you with her past, her words and her behavior. Don't continue to reinforce her behavior and decisions by rewarding her with your own concern. People think the opposite of love is hate, it's not; the opposite of love is indifference and this is what you need to be now, indifferent.

I know, I know...I just hate this sh!t you have to go through after a break up, not being able to get her outta my head!! Some guys can handle this better I guess.

 

[blueguy]

This way of thinking is rock solid. I look back at my relationships and the best ones were where my partner and I ****ed the night we met. That animalistic sexual attraction has got to come first, and fast. If it's not there you are wasting your time. It's can be easy to forget this or get off track.

And then why did those relationships end???

It seems to me that there has to be more than sex to hold a relationship together for a long time. Let's face it... sex is FREE, and numerous people in the same city are sexually attracted and would love to fvck one another. Relationships based on sex can only last so long if one has so many OPTIONS!

However, personalities are so different and numerous that when one finds somebody that resembles their personality so closely, they tend to stick together. Because this is RARE.

What holds a sexual relationship together other than COMMITMENT? Isn't it healthier to be committed to somebody naturally only because you have no better options than because you have committed to them?

I just don't buy the biological bond as a basis for an LTR. Science has PROVEN that such a bond only lasts a few years anyway once the woman has secured a child and the man wants to spread more seed.