need advice from the masters of getting woman.

[Ryan Adams]

ok the chick I was taking to I had made a post about she was batsh!t crazy so I completely nexted her the other day. want 0 to do with her and her drama. anyways I met this girl last Sat through a friend in a casual bar setting. we hit it off well shes cute we got along etc. I'm trying this spinning plates thing so I'm goin after every cute woman I vibe with. anyway this Sunday she invited me to get food with her and her friend I was 3 min away so I said sure. her friend left I then mentioned since I bummed so many of her cigarettes I owe her dinner to repay her she said sure! she texted me 5 min after I left and said "that did not count as dinner"! i said no it doesn't hit me up when your free. she said ok. that was Sunday I haven't texted her since should I shoot her a text asking when's she's free or wait for her to reach out to me.

 

[Glassguy]

Smoking cigarettes will kill you almost as fast as your game with women. You need to kick the habit.

Why do you need someone to tell you when you are allowed to text her? Are you 12?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Offering dinner was a chump move, man. Don't do that again. Now you have painted yourself into a corner. If you want to take her out, fine, but don't make it expensive. Make it cheap, but an adventure, like hole-in-the-wall ethnic food or finding the best taco truck in the city.

Text her whenever you like. She'll probably ask when she gets dinner, but that's your fault, because you offered.

 

[logicallefty]

Women are worse for your health ime.



You should have set a date.

Text her, and make a date.

You: [feeler text] i'm out doing blah blah today

Her: blah blah shoes babies blah blah

You: that's great. Dinner tomorrow or Thurs?

I don't smoke and am no doctor but I would bet a months pay that women are indeed worse for health than smoking (and drinking, and weed, and jumping out of airplanes with no shute, and swimming with a hungry shark in a kiddie pool, and playing Russian Roulette with a loaded single shot pistol, etc etc)

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Text her and ask her out for drinks (assuming she drinks of course). Less formal than dinner, you can have more fun.

 

[Ryan Adams]

I was asking because I didnt want to text her to early and maybe look desperate?. how was offering her dinner a chump move?

 

[Bible_Belt]

how was offering her dinner a chump move?

It's not going to kill you, just don't make a big deal out of it.

BUT - in the future, you will first of all get tired of buying dinner for women you barely know. Secondly, dinner is the worst date ever. I know you said you thought you owed her, but 'buy you a drink' would have been more appropriate. Every other guy out there is asking girls to dinner. It's boring, and I have had girls tell me the same thing. If they like you, then you don't have to buy them anything. They will usually let you, though, just because they don't know what else to do. Still, it sets you up in the provider frame, and probably slows down you getting laid. Speaking of, keep the meal light. No one wants to fvck when they are stuffed full of food.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I was asking because I didnt want to text her to early and maybe look desperate?. how was offering her dinner a chump move?

It just is if you haven't fücked her yet. Even then its borderline.
Smokes=5/6 bucks
Dinner=10+

Bumming a few smokes doesn't equal buying her dinner, that's pedestal territory. Just invite her out and have a good time.

 

[ohrein]

Nothing wrong with dinner, I dunno why people are saying it's a bad move. Honestly, using "I owe you this" stuff is great to gauge interest levels. If she's not interested she'll be like, oh no, you don't owe me anything it's fine. If she's interested she'll jump on that **** as the girl in OP did. That said, keep things casual as Amante suggested. Go to somewhere FUN with activities near. Don't do some stuffy and/or romantic meal early on.

That said, OP, you're over-analyzing stuff. Your job is to keep asking them out and escalating physically, that's it. Don't text too much, don't get too attached too early, play it cool BUT don't obsess over when or what or all the little details. Girls who are interested aren't gonna care if you text too soon or whatever. Just message her and ask her when she's free for dinner whenever the **** you want. Set up a date and then don't text her until the date. Easy. On the date, start escalating physically until she stops you. Repeat 1 and 2.

My 2c : Girl is clearly interested in you so just follow 1 & 2 and don't be a creep and you'll be fine.

 

[Ryan Adams]

i used the owing you for smokes line as a jokingly way to invite her out for dinner. but yeah I figured asking her out for drinks she would say something like isn't that what we're doing now.

 

[logicallefty]

i used the owing you for smokes line as a jokingly way to invite her out for dinner. but yeah I figured asking her out for drinks she would say something like isn't that what we're doing now.

I think your original opening technique rolling things over into you getting her dinner was just fine. I also agree with the others who have said to keep the dinner lite. Go to a bar/grill place like other's have suggested and tell her "I'm not super hungry just going to get some wings (or whatever)". Even if she is so hungry she could eat a bear chances are if you order first and you only order the wings for $8.99, she isn't likely going to get anything significantly more costly than what you got cuz she don't want to look like a piggy.

 

[salinechow]

Just adding to the echo chamber here of quality advice from @deesade @Bible_Belt and of course @Espi ....With some extra critique and specifics.

Dont text her. CALL her. And follow the above advice. Have a plan and tell her what she is invited to. When she says OK, say "that is great and you look forward to it.'

You already have the interest of this woman. Take here out. Wherever you go, sit on the same side and KINO. Escalate almost immediately and parlay on her warm temperature towards you. Ignore any sorry attempts at her sh!t testing you as absolute white noise. She knows she has come on a little strong already and probably doesn't want to "feel" easy. (Im not sure why you even brought this here. This girl is a lay up)

I agree with others that your offer of dinner was chumpy, but, who cares, even mistakes work sometimes. We've all been there. Just carry yourself as diner is something you like to do and she is an accompaniment. She is filling in a place you could have invited anyone out too, or, even eaten by yourself. Not that you are rewarding her for a few butts. This is how you will act and carry yourself. Its your world, its your night, and she just happens to be an interest in that evening.

Leave the place you take her, and take her for a nightcap. When finished, drive the route to your house. If she inquires, tell her "We are heading back to my place for another drink' I want to get to know you more and Im busy the next few days.' If she resits tell her 'thats fine' That means you didnt touch, kiss, and intrigue her enough. Plate her. But, I guarantee, if you acted with confidence, leadership, decisiveness and indifference, she will just say...'Okay" "That sounds nice".

I think your inner and outer game, as well as your capitalization and grammar skills need work, but, I still think this girl is into you already so you must have some strong traits going for you that you can capitalize on. Also, you were bold enough to make the "ask" so just close. You will.


By the way....Miss you gentleman. Its been a while. I have been absent...yes. But, I have carried you all with me. I wont get into details here, but, its nice to see the High Rollers still helping those in need and enriching this great community of MEN.

OP. Listen. Heed. Respect. Read.

Think someones advice is good?? Click there name and read what they have shared. Everyday I execute the things I learned here. With woman and with business and dress and self enrichment. Dont linger on one question answered, or just the threads that you think apply. Read it all. Be a consumer of free knowledge and anonymous authenticity. You most likely will not encounter such a resource anywhere else in your world.

-Saline

 

[Ryan Adams]

I texted her and yes she is obviously into me physically I can tell. her response was hey! sorry work is really busy it's a crazy week this week I have still to figure out what's a good day then she said some typical how are you blah blah. all i said was all good let me know when your free.

I read the responses like 5 minutes ago I should of called. I'm curious what is the deal with calling better then texting? im not arguing genuinely curious. so what I'm getting at as my understanding as woman grows act like you really don't care. it's your world they are just passing through? I'm very grateful of this knowledge you guys are giving me so much appreciated.

 

[logicallefty]

.

I read the responses like 5 minutes ago I should of called. I'm curious what is the deal with calling better then texting? .

I would answer you but I go against the grain. I am 43 and I highly prefer text. My general reasons why are 1) I am a busy guy, I can multitask a text convo in with 5 other things I am doing at the same time. Not as easy to multitask when talking on phone 2) I like having a written history of what I say to people and what they say to me. That is in all areas of my life; women, work, friends, even family. Case in point, a male friend of mine from Texas dogged me not long ago and tried to say it was my fault that I never see him when he comes to Illinois. I screen shotted 4, count them, 4 texts with him where I had tried to see him when he was in town and HE would not or could not hang with me.. Batta bing, batta boom.... Snap... Send.... See Exhibits A, B, C, and D. Thank you. Drive through. Can't roll like this with phone calls. Just my preference, though.

 

[ohrein]

Make sure you update us, OP. It's good if these threads have and ending so we can see what advice was good/bad, whether peoples analysis were accurate etc.

 

[Ryan Adams]

true! like I said I hit her up and said so what's a good a good time for us to go out. she said idk it's been a crazy week this week and work is super busy. I said all good just lemme know next when your free! then we did some light small talk. that was Tuesday I haven't texted her and she hasn't texted me since

 

[djthiago1]

this Sunday she invited me to get food with her and her friend I was 3 min away so I said sure

No group dates till she's your GF.

hit me up when your free.

The man is the aggressor, not the woman. The man asks the woman for the date.

should I shoot her a text asking when's she's free or wait for her to reach out to me.

Now it's a clean-up case, if she has mediocre interest in you, she won't call, so now you gonna look like you're begging when you ask her out, on the other hand, if she doesn't call you when she said she would, she's a liar and she's out.

I bummed so many of her cigarettes

Don't bum other people's cigarettes, as a matter of fact, don't bum anything from anyone ever. And don't smoke near girls, 99% don't like it.

I owe her dinner to repay

How long did you chat with the girl? If you only talked to her for a couple of minutes, you should've asked her on a coffee date, not dinner.
If you talked for 20min or more, ignore this advice.

that was Sunday

It's been 2 days and you're freaking out?

 

[devilkingx2]

I think that dinner dates are for boring people who are over 30 unless she's trying to get a feel for how much cash you have or alternatively you're trying to flex how much you've got

you prolly should have suggested something fun or cheaper

 

[marmel75]

This is the equivalent of asking us whether you should wear boxers or briefs tomorrow...

Dude this sh!t is irrelevant...do what you want. If you want something to happen then make something happen. Men dont wait for women to make something happen they make it happen themselves.

 

[Ryan Adams]

I'm really not freaking out I'm just to using the advice you guys give me on this girl as a trisl and error I really could care less of anything comes out of it