Nature or Culture

jhonny9546

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By "happy and content," it is meant that when she naturally feels the biological drive for genome differentiation—within a couple of years and at an unbearable level within 4 to 7 years (similar to how men feel)—she will be happy and content if she engraves herself into a false representation of herself and the reality of her inner experience.

They will be happy and content if they forcibly adhere to the "values" of some religion or culture that is unnatural for both. However, one should not assume that this is normal or beneficial.

They do not truly feel happy and content; they are doing it for a cause greater than themselves. The suffering of both those who claim to be "happy and content" often spills into their relationships, manifesting as acidity, contempt, and the feeling that the other person is their jailer, executioner, and the source of all their unhappiness and discontent. Sometimes this tension reverberates onto the smallest and weakest among them—at work, in life, or within their families. At times, it is kept inside, leading to internalized poison.

Keeping "the Hand in the Brazier"

Here we arrive at a crucial point. For some, the reason behind maintaining a long-term monogamous relationship—one that is unnatural and culturally imposed—must be genuinely significant. That’s fine. Whether it stems from religious beliefs, the need to feel part of a specific community embodying its dictates and values, or because they have been convinced through various channels that this is normal, it’s acceptable. They should be judged on their ability to keep their hand in the brazier while upholding the narrative of “they lived happily ever after.” Yet, I see many weak men devoid of a true Cause.

Let Me Explain Better

Whatever your reason for believing that a lifelong relationship with one woman—a relationship you consider a noble cause—justifies enduring discomfort, ask yourself:

- Why is this cause so trivial that you immediately withdraw your hand from the brazier if she instead touches it?
- Why does your "higher cause" cease to exist if she betrays you by being with another?
- Does only your pain matter? At the slightest discomfort, do you abandon the fight for that cause?
- What kind of higher Cause are you representing if at the first sign of pain you become angry, despairing, and run away?
- What Cause do you represent if you refuse to engage when there exists (and it is highly probable) a chance of burning yourself or her?

Consider why you actively oppose nature while following this Cause. You are not powerless; you can suppress natural urges for a reason greater than personal satisfaction. Yet, you are also manipulable like any rat; if your Cause—the reason for your actions—is not ironclad, then if your partner potentially gets contaminated, do you abandon the fight?

Reflect on Your Loyalties

Ask yourself more profound questions. Get angry; battle with yourself. You are serving two masters with opposing desires. You will love one and hate the other.

Examine where your loyalties lie: with your nature and species' essence or with a recent cultural construct that has failed?

Be cautious about why you are willing to sacrifice so much. If you are absolutely certain of the Cause you serve, keep your hand in the brazier and maintain a serious demeanor. If there are children watching, put on a smile.

One cannot heed someone who does not stand firm or who flees from the front line because his partner has been with another man—not if he claims, "this is my war."

It’s perfectly acceptable not to engage in battle or to retreat from the front line if you don’t believe it’s your war. Stop complaining about suffering or evading duty when pain is anticipated.

TLDR

If you believe in today’s societal construct that transcends our non-monogamous nature, fight back and defend your values while remaining aware of them. You must choose one master while acknowledging another's existence. One must recognize and suppress natural needs and impulses for what they believe in—the highest ideals they hold dear.
 

jhonny9546

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Given the first post, there are some assumptions to make:

On the one hand, there are those who say that if you have been cheated on or if you could be cheated on in the future, you shouldn't worry and you shouldn't be reactive to this situation, but just acknowledge it and end the relationship.
(Being perceived as men of high value)

On the other hand, there are those who instead "react", scold and punish their partner for what she has done, but in the end they keep her and continue the relationship. (mostly like your old grandpa would do if He caught her nephew doing something wrong)
However, they are not perceived as real men, because her respect for them decreases.
Not only that. Your self-respect?
(Being perceived as men of low value)

In addition to deciding which master to serve between our nature and our culture, we also have to make many other decisions: to behave like men and gain respect, or like women and seen as a weak.

It's ofc a matter of deciding whether to put your hand in the brazier and char it, or just falling for our hypergamic nature, but also what your values are.

Also, here it's written something about getting "indipendent" from results.

It would be interesting to know how you can do that in an LTR with someone.
 
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BillyPilgrim

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This is why the Catholic Church's veneration of the Virgin Mary is a disaster. The country it is headquartered in, Italy, where the OP is, has some of the worst intergender relations in the world.

You tell a passionate group of people (The Italians) to worship virginity, strange things like Italian Culture and the OP above will invariably ensue.

OP, your head will not be screwed on straight until you leave your country. Don't let Boomers like AA tell you otherwise.
 
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BaronOfHair

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This is why the Catholic Church's veneration of the Virgin Mary is a disaster. The country it is headquartered in, Italy, where the OP is, has some of the worst intergender relations in the world.

You tell a passionate group of people (The Italians) to worship virginity, strange things like Italian Culture and the OP above will invariably ensue
That's only 3/4 of the story. Italy has an exhaustive history of eroticism in the arts
 

Reincarnated

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This hits on my belief that monogamy is always desirable at the societal level in order to maintain a level of stability, yet is naturally undesirable at the individual level.

Whether you believe in monogomy for religious reasons or not, it was intrinsically understood in the past that a population that is primarily monogamous was going to be on more solid footing than otherwise, and stood a better chance of remaining intact over time.

More than anything else, monogamy has been the greatest equalizer for men against the wretchedly harsh reality of nature. In a natural environment, the majority of men stand no chance of ever passing their genes on to the next generation.

But on the contrary, and even more so in modern society, the men who would succeed in a solely natural-based society stand to lose the most in a culturally driven society, at least from a pure genealogy perspective.

It really boils down to what is most advantageous for a society is almost never what is most advantageous for an individual, like many other things in life. I'd argue without the structure of monogamy, we would likely have never advanced even remotely closely to where we are technologically, spiritually, or otherwise.

Without it, we wouldn't even be able to have a debate as to whether it is beneficial or not. Power tends to accumulate in fewer and fewer hands over time, if left uninterrupted. The concept of monogamy might be the greatest counterbalance to this phenomena of all.
 

Slowhandluke

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It really boils down to what is most advantageous for a society is almost never what is most advantageous for an individual, like many other things in life. I'd argue without the structure of monogamy, we would likely have never advanced even remotely closely to where we are technologically, spiritually, or otherwise.
society is like a bee hive. what ever helps the "beehive" will survive. the individual is just canon fodder. individual rights will be trampled, Kings will rule with an iron fist, dicatators will be allowed to decree, etc... it's all about society and how it benefits society.

in the past, dictators, kings, slaves, etc were needed to help society because of limited resources (societies had to fight among themselves for limited resources and the best way was to for units of people that acted as "one" force).

with an abundance of resources (food, shelter as compared to the past, etc.), individual rights are now being allowed (to a degree).

monogamy or polygamy- doesn't matter. whatever is good for society at the time. however, throughout history monogamy has simply been a better choice... However, during times of strife, low resources, etc. polygamy was the better choice - only the strong survived and allowed their genes to get passed to their children. This was paradoxically good for society - these kids were more likely to survive. after all in bad times there just isnt enough resources for stupid people to be reproducing... and those that did reproduce, most off their offsprings died because they couldn't "hack it"... not good for society... not good for the "hive".

Without it, we wouldn't even be able to have a debate as to whether it is beneficial or not. Power tends to accumulate in fewer and fewer hands over time, if left uninterrupted. The concept of monogamy might be the greatest counterbalance to this phenomena of all.
 
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