InvisibleMan said:
But don't you understand? She says NO (I won't go out with you). Whatever the reason, lie or not, I can't force women to go out with me. If they were interested in you a boyfriend would be the furthest thing from her mind. If a woman had a boyfriend and wanted to date you she surely wouldn't tell you she has a boyfriend.
...oh I understand
You've just publicly acknowledged your first bit of real awareness & truth (this is good and any sensation of pain associated with it means you're finally waking up). If a woman is
interested enough (ie desire) she will make excuses - excuses to be with you instead of apart from you. And guess what dude, that feels good when it happens.
Also, you're just stating an obvious fact, women lie, wiggle, distort, rationalize, justify and often tell half truths and/or behave anonymously. Most of them will do this if they're not
interested enough. It's just their way. You can find fault in it, blaming them and the world for your problems. The so be it (search for Rollo-T's words regarding continually "getting you've gotten if you keep doing what you've done").
Or you can awaken from your slumber of low esteem, blaming and self-pity to realize you and you alone are responsible for each of your actions and their corresponding outcomes. Let me ask you this, if a woman you desire does not desire you is she really at fault?
The guys here are giving you solid, decent and
FREE advice. You (and you alone) will start taking risks and making changes in your life
when you are finally ready for your life to change. Remember you are responsible for your actions and their corresponding outcomes. Do nothing and get nothing, guess what you're responsible. Keep doing the same thing and getting the same results, guess what you're still responsible. Make some changes and the outcomes don't work for you, yep you guessed it you're responsible but atleast you tried. Make some different changes and the outcomes are to your liking, now that friggin' rocks because you alone were responsible.
Would you like a hint of what is probably holding you back?
Let's say you're waiting for an important phone call. You sit there and wait and wait, not daring to stray from the phone in case you'll miss it. The call never comes, you get p!ssed or sad or any type of emotion. Perhaps you think they dodged you to irritate you, perhaps you think they forgot all about you, etc. Yet in the end, they were most likely busy and pre-occupied with something they deemed more important or interesting or whatever. Q: Why did this experience yield negative emotions? A: Expectations driven by unhealthy beliefs.
My sense is that you expect women in general (and perhaps more specifically a certain appearance/class) to couple with you. This is not at all uncommon. Perhaps in your case this is driven by a one or more beliefs that your career, wealth, health, appearance etc entitle you to this type of woman. If this is the case I suggest that you run a serious self-assessment of your beliefs and expectations to reign them into reality.
Now look at the guy who gets the HB's you're seeking. He will most likely be quite active, busy and intersting. To a woman, his normal everyday life will seem interesting and mysterious and that will lead to desire. Yet note, he isn't walking around every minute expecting HB's to fall to his feet or call him or bake him cookies. Nope, he learned at some point to put himself first living his own life and understanding how women really work. He brought his beliefs and expectations in check regarding women & relationships.
Everyone one of us is different, yet there is a common subtext to this forum orginally intended to teach the techniques of attraction. Be a MAN, accept responsibility for your actions and understand that women are simply doing what they're programmed to do. They seek out and chase what is mysterious, interesting, aloof and seemingly unnattainable. They run and lie when something doesn't feel right or is too serious, boring and especially threatening. All amongst them are broken damaged ones not worthy of our time.
I strongly suggest hobbies, interests and activities that get you out of the home and around all types of people.
InvisibleMan said:
I don't really have any friends. I don't want to give the impression that I am a friendless loser (which I may very well be), but most of my close friends from high school and college have gotten married and had kids and we all know what happens to guys when that happens - they tend to drift apart from their single friends, and I've found that friends you make in adult life are never quite the same as your childhood friends.
...once again hogwash!
I am fortunate to still be friends with all of my HS buddies. We manage to get together atleast once a year (for the distant ones) and several times a year for the nearby ones. Some have wives and families, some are still single. It just takes some extra effort. And I have made some of my best, most reliable friends in the recent years of my life. And guess how, by taking up things that interested me and meeting new people. One particular recent friend comes to mind immediately. A Vietnam vet, private business owner and all around outsanding individual whom I made an effort to get to know better while helping from time to time with classes he teaches. I know this dude would take a bullet for me and I've known him less than three years.
You're still making excuses InvisibleMan and you know it.
