My problem: Im good looking

[Gangster Of Love]

I think you hit the nail on the head. Let me give you an example. I walk into a crowd of girls and say hi and start a conversation. Another guy comes in and starts a conversation and they are move lively and seem more confortable with that guy instead of me. This always happens to me. Maybe you're right and they get intimidated by good looking guys. I want to believe what you say but i still think they probably see me as a nice guy due to my looks. It just pisses me off how backwards this all is I should be getting more girls than all the average looking guys that pull some of the hottest b|tches in the school.

Im fed up with this. Ill just let this b|tches rot maybe I can find girls that appreciate a guy like me in more sophisticated places like church or study groups.

Could this be because those guys have more game, are more interesting, know how to get those girls going? Saying it is because you are too good looking sounds like an excuse. Instead of working on your clothes start working on developing yourself into somebody with an interesting personality that makes conversations lively when interacting with girls.

The reason these guys seem more confortable and more interesting is because they are. They're not getting intimidated by good looking guys, they are getting bored. Remember, you cannot bore a woman into becoming attracted to you. Yeah, doesn't matter how good looking you are, they are not going to just approach you based on your looks. You will get the eye contact, the sublte flirting, etc., but they won't approach you or the ugly guys.

I don't know what your handle/screen name means, if its from a movie or some character, but if you are really a homophobe, you might be coming accross as an uptight dude who is stuck on his ways, and girls see through this. They might not be looking at you as a cool, easy going, open minded dude who is fun and interesting to be around. They might be looking at a dude who has good looks, tries too hard to dress perfectly, yet comes across as generic in style, and is set on his ways. They don't want to feel like they are being judged.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

And I can almost guarantee you that 5'5" Mexican guy with the 5'11"" blonde is a drug dealer...welcome to America! :crackup:

lol! good point. I think some myths have to be thrown away for example

"EVERY GIRL IS CRAZY ABOUT A SHARP DRESSED MAN" (the zztop song line): This is obviously false. Girls like it when guys dress up for special ocassions (dinners or other events) but if you are well groomed and dressed nice every day they won't like it. My mistake was that I always used to dress bad in high school and now in college I decided to change, and now I dress well with nice pants and nice shirts every day. Girls don't like that, they like you to dress well for them for special occasions but for the everyday routine they rather see you dressed like most other guys. I think that what im doing would work with higher society girls or professional type girls, but the girls we are all trying to get (average girls) it won't work for them.

My problem is that most of my life I dressed bad and looked bad, and finally I changed my look to look fresh, clean shaven everyday, smelling good, and well dressed and it hasn't worked out with the ladies. I feel better than ever in terms of self confidence (but not girl confidence).

 

[zerocelcius]

How STUPID are you people, pretty girls desire handsome guys, but no pretty girl is ever going to approach you, they will flirt and use body language that should reveal their attraction towards you, if you are a hunk and extremely confident you will be able to fu-ck the hottest babes where ever you go, but you have to approach them. :yes:

I can see why you would say this, but I feel you are giving into the idea that pretty girls have confidence, and in a lot of cases I have found that they are just as insecure as every other girl.

I have struggled with this issue all my life. The first time I noticed it was hanging out with my friends and we would hit on girls. I never thought the girls liked me 'cause they would only talk to my friends. Later on I found out that they did like me and only talked to my friends 'cause they were intimadated to talk to me. One of my good friends (girl) told me that she always liked me but wouldn't ever talk to me for that reason. I told her she was crazy, I hit on her all the time. She said she noticed but wouldn't give in 'cause she didn't want to compete with all the other girls.

My girl friend now tells me I can't go to the gym 'cause she doesn't want all the girls in town throwing themself at me. I told her I doubt she has to worry about that, but she said before we got together all the other girls used to tell her how hot I was.

It sounds like this would be a good thing, but really even once you start talking to them they get all freaked out and bounce. I have learned now how to handle it but if you don't know it is a issue.

Now I bust them out on stuff I know about them. I am playfull and stuff it seems to work good. I allow them to indulge their lust and not get serious. Once it does get to much I bounce or tell them to calm down. You just adapt the push pull.

Got to get to class so I rushed on this hopfully it is readable.

Peace 'n Beatz

 

[zerocelcius]

interesting replies and good to know im not the only one with this problem. This is one problem not many talk about because in reality most guys would like to be above average looking but as we all know not even good looks guarantees you girls.

zerocelcius, I understand what you're saying (trying to find your own style) but in my situation bad luck has done it to me. I always used to dress badly. Wore the same sweaters most of the time, even my mom asked me why i dressed so badly! ive always been a fan of james bond and Roger Moore and his style in bond movies. So when I decided to start dressing well, getting clothes that stood out, nice shirts instead of sweaters, I thought I would have it made with the ladies. Instead it has been the opposite.

I made the self improvements of taking better care of my appearance, getting some nice clothes for a change, looking fresh most of the time, and have gotten no rewards for it. Funny how life works.

No your right you should do what you want, nomatter what the ladies say or do. If that is your style run with it. I was using myself as an example. I didn't change my style to get the ladies, but once I did it helped. The only explination I could come up with is I was comfertable and my style shows that I care about how I look.

If you keep doing what you want and wearing what you want you will gain more confidence and that is a winner attribute.

Winners don't need to hijack airplanes, they have an Air Force~ P.J. O'Rourke

 

[Celadus]

There's another post just like this in the Archive. It doesn't really have a lot of good answers. Just a lot of people *****ing, including me a couple years younger. I deal with this *slight* problem. As silly as it sounds, this can be really tough if you start out shy. But the solution is to make the girl feel comfortable and desirable. You have to adjust some of the information you read on here to suit your natural attributes. A heavyweight boxer and light weight boxer are both boxers but they fight differently. A heavyweight only needs a few heavy hits but a light weight is a longer match. Can any boxing people confirm this for me? It sounded good to me..

If a girl thinks you are too good for them, you have to bring htem up to your level, atleast until they open up and they realize you are just a normal guy with a good exterior.

For example, I tend to compliment girls on their physical appearance more than most should. Don't say "Damn girl, you are hot." I might compliment them on a specific bodypart in a "suave" way. "You have nice legs, do you run?" or something stupid like that. If they are really into you, it doesn't matter what you say as much as how you say it. Keep that in mind.

I've had some success with this but I have a ways to go myself.

Celadus

Edit. You'll find that the next problem is girls getting too attached too quickly.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Here's a TIP:

If your looks are a problem in attracting chicks, TEMPORARILY REMOVE THEM.

For example: Don't shave as often, you want a dirty style beard thing. Cut your hair less and make it look all messy like you got out of bed. Knots are your friend.


Wear good clothes. Good, not spectaculat if you find that girls get very shy when you peacock.


Then when you finally get a girl, you can go back to being pretty.

Another TIP:

LOOKS DON'T KEEP HER AROUND! I know this from experience. I'm not as great looking as you claim to be but I'm still better than most of these skinny ugly chumps.

Find a guy who has a personality that YOU LIKE and hang around him. Make friends with people that have qualities you desire to have. It rubs off.

If you got the looks + the personality = UNSTOPPABLE.


So far, you are using your looks as a crutch. BAD!! Now do you see that it doesn't work?

Also, make lots of friends, that way they bring people they know TO YOU! Social proof is VERY IMPORTANT. Not only that but the chick will be alot more comfortable around you cause she has something in common.

(Also make sure you look a little ugly just in case.)

You want to look like a 7. Don't go too far with it, or else your looks will turn 'em off. Look plain and regular.

 

[Dean]

What a silly problem to have and im sure im not the only one. Not to brag or anything but this is killing my chances with girls if you can believe that. They see a guy with a pretty face and instead of going for that guy they go for the jerk/skater type looking guy. It aint my fault I got good genes to thank for my nice face and never being able to become fat, but girls just don't seem attracted to me if you can believe that. I have noticed in my classes how hot girls start conversations with other guys, but me never. Im always having to start the communication and working really hard to get girls when it should be easier for me.

It takes me work to get a girlfriend due to my nice face and good looks im not kidding. When you have a pretty face it is very difficult shaking off the "nice guy" look which girls don't like. I started wearing decent clothes, nice pants and shirts, bought some dockers to look more sophisticated. Not 1 girl has approached me or talked to me since I started dressing well. Last girlfriend I had was when I wore sweaters every day but I decided to start dressing better to improve myself and my look. It has been a long time now without a gf. They see a guy with a nice face and nice clothe they think "pretty boy is probably gay" i bet. I started dressing well, im clean shaven always, always smelling good, following the advice from the experts, yet girls ignore me. I was sitting at the cafeteria the other day and saw this hot blonde like 5-11, with like a short 5 foot 5 ugly mexican dude. Im not hating the guy good for him but i should be pulling b|tches like this!

Im in a tough spot. Do I give up what i believe in and become another abercrombie shirt wearing/skater looking trend follower to get girls? do i go back to looking like a bum? I was raised believing that women loved handsome men. Family friends, older ladies always called me handsome even when I was little. I thought I was set to be a world class don juan but it has not been that way I have had few gfs (but i tried to make em last). Im living proof that bad boy/jerk looking men are what women really want even if you are good looking.

The time when women looked for good looking/well mannered men (nice guys) is over! It is all about looking like the guys girls see on mtv (abercrombie/skater looking type). It is all about being a jerk and having a ****y attitude. Don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise.

crap excuss for your lack of result,how can you take a good quality and blame your lack of success on it?

or is it a case of, " im failing at this,BUT its because im good,,,"etc

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

I made the self improvements of taking better care of my appearance, getting some nice clothes for a change, looking fresh most of the time, and have gotten no rewards for it. Funny how life works.

I know what you mean dude. I know it all to well.


Just remember to NEVER GIVE UP. Ever.

Just at the time when you are completely unprepared, opporunity knocks.

When that happens, just go all in with everything you got. ANd keep going until you succeed or there's nothing left to give, in which case you got to start all over.


Just DON'T GIVE UP. And find a solution to the problem.

 

[OfficeSpace]

Wow, I keep seeing these threads where people claim to be "too good looking." Tons of beautiful people on this forum! You guys all should have no problem with women! *sigh* Post a pic as proof before you talk about how good looking you are...

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

Here's a TIP:

If your looks are a problem in attracting chicks, TEMPORARILY REMOVE THEM.

For example: Don't shave as often, you want a dirty style beard thing. Cut your hair less and make it look all messy like you got out of bed. Knots are your friend.

I work as a bartender in an upscale place so I have to be clean shaven every day. My job requires me looking clean all the time. I thought about growing a mustache to see if that gives me some street cred with girls (never had a mustache before but they do allow that in my job). I also thought about changing my hair style and getting a new haircut. My hairstyle is basically the Roger Moore style (sorry I dont know much about hair cuts to name them). I think this hair style is too much of a pretty boy style and might put off girls since the girls of this day and age want guys with shaved heads or little hair at all, but I don't want to cut my hair with the number 2 like every guy in school.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

I work as a bartender in an upscale place so I have to be clean shaven every day. My job requires me looking clean all the time. I thought about growing a mustache to see if that gives me some street cred with girls (never had a mustache before but they do allow that in my job). I also thought about changing my hair style and getting a new haircut. My hairstyle is basically the Roger Moore style (sorry I dont know much about hair cuts to name them). I think this hair style is too much of a pretty boy style and might put off girls since the girls of this day and age want guys with shaved heads or little hair at all, but I don't want to cut my hair with the number 2 like every guy in school.

A light beard? Scruffy looking.

Also, what about a shorter military style haircut? At least that makes you look less like a pretty boy and more like a man. (Along with the beard)

 

[Babnik]

I asked many girls about my looks and they rated me as PREMIUM GUY and girls will thnk that I get girls. Here is my advice:
1. Always initiate conversations first.
2. Don't try to act HARD TO GET because your looks already tell them you are hard to get!
3. Be less intimidating...don't be afraid to have some weaknesses.
4. Do dress well.
5. You are expected to do everything...approach, ask for number, call her, do her...they won't even call you themselves but they'll DO what you tell them to do.
6. Go for hottest high self esteemed girls!

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

A light beard? Scruffy looking.

Also, what about a shorter military style haircut? At least that makes you look less like a pretty boy and more like a man. (Along with the beard)

I can't have a beard due to my job. They do allow mustaches. Im from the belief of "if you have hair do something with it" (like howard stern says) i just don't believe in military haircuts. One day ill be old and balding and then ill wish i had my hair back. If you're lucky to have hair growing on your head (and many guys don't) might as well get a hairstyle that uses that hair instead of cutting it all out.

Im soo surprsed that noone has told this man how many times he contradicted himself and proved himself wrong. You say you work as a bartender and you can't get females...? I DON'T believe that for a second.

I typed the wrong thing but it is an honest mistake. Im a waiter at an upscale place (kinda related to bartending in a way, both serve people). Do you think I would be having problems if I was a bartender? where I work the average age is 40+ it is wealthy people little motel in the rich part of town. There are no girls in this place I rarely even see a MILF (mostly old people with lots of money).

You've been here since 2004 and haven't applied sh** is what makes it even more sad because obviously you still have fears. Get over them and create your own oppurtunity because noone else will.

I bet you never even had a girlfriend because if you had you wouldn't be hatin someone you don't even know. Why don't you tell us about your game first before you start insulting those that don't provoke you? You don't know who you're talking to. I made an honest reputation in this forum. I have helped educate lots of guys here about the evils of feminism among other things. I know I shouldn't be wasting my time arguing over this but I know haters like to hijack threads and I know it happens to everyone, and this is the first time it has happened to me since I been posting here (so I guess it was overdue). I don't need to defend my reputation because most people already know what im about.

Returning to my original post. I made a big change to my life that I got from the experts, the advice was to dress well/women love guys that dress well. It hasn't worked out for me yet. From reading this thread it seems im not the only one that has problems with finding the right look. We have a lot of silly threads in this forum from newbies who don't like reading the dj bible first, "should I call her" or "she looked at my eyes what should I do" type of silly threads. Compare that to a problem most of us face, finding a look that fits you and does well with the ladies. That is what this thread is about. We all struggle to find a look that fits us. So I don't understand why that guy is hating when my problem is the problem of many im not alone in this.

 

[Brian Griffin]

Approach, not hard.

 

[dropit]

I asked many girls about my looks and they rated me as PREMIUM GUY and girls will thnk that I get girls. Here is my advice:
1. Always initiate conversations first.
2. Don't try to act HARD TO GET because your looks already tell them you are hard to get!
3. Be less intimidating...don't be afraid to have some weaknesses.
4. Do dress well.
5. You are expected to do everything...approach, ask for number, call her, do her...they won't even call you themselves but they'll DO what you tell them to do.
6. Go for hottest high self esteemed girls!

I totaly agree with you here especially number 2. After I completed my transformation I went from a 7 to a 9. Hit the gym and put on about 15 pounds, dressed in quality clothes and learned the game. I soon figured out that girls started to treat me diferently. It seemed that the hotter the girl the less she would say and the quieter they would become when I was around. I would have to open them up far more often. When I did I asked them why they didnt seem that interested or why they were shy. I would always get the response that they didnt want to appear stupid or say something dumb. They also thought I was a player or had many other options besids them. I also found I had to turn down the ****y factor in my game, now I have a more quiet confidence that they seem to pick up on.

The main thing I learned is playing hard to get when you are "good looking" NEVER works. Girls think you just are not interested in them. You have to show some interest for them to open up

 

[Holland]

Not 1 girl has approached me or talked to me since I started dressing well

Idiot.

There are people who are so much more worse of then you and you dare to complain that girls don't approach you (when they should SINCE YOU'RE GOODLOOKING).

Look dude. You have to make **** happen yourself. Not the girls.

 

[KillaCam]

Well said Holland.

Do not expect woman to follow you around and do all the work. You have a pair of nuts between your legs, use them.

Perhaps you are intimidatingly good looking. Maybe chicks are too scared to initiate contact with you, but from a lot of what you have said during this post, there is a distinct lack of self-confidence in your own abilities.

Looks are only skin deep dude. You need to counteract your so called "nice guy" look with the right attitude. You have been here long enough, you know how important attitude is to success. Looks are only that thin layer of ice between you and the water, the moment you approach that ice is broken. If she doesn't run away, then you need to imprint your confidence onto her.

Attitude, attitude, attitude.

There are no excuses.

 

[Brian Griffin]

They're right. That's what it comes down to, excuses. I'm good looking and don't have a problem getting the girls I want. Sure I'm nervous sometimes, but it doesn't stop me from approaching. So either you guys aren't as good looking as you think, or you're just too scared.

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/2718/image4ay9.jpg

 

[zerocelcius]

They're right. That's what it comes down to, excuses. I'm good looking and don't have a problem getting the girls I want. Sure I'm nervous sometimes, but it doesn't stop me from approaching. So either you guys aren't as good looking as you think, or you're just too scared.

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/2718/image4ay9.jpg

Or the girls are insecure! Like I posted before this. Which some of the other posts touch on.

These girls are like every girl. None of them think they are pretty enough, none of them think they are cosmo's Image. All of them want to be and a cute guy really makes them think about this stuff.

However the bad boys, or the outgoing guys give them somthing else to think about. The bad boys make them feel alive and rebelious, that works. The Outgoing guys make them feel alive and fun, that works.

The pretty boy who is neither of those makes them feel insecure and under the microscope of not only other girls but other guys.

All the info from this post has some very good points but again I think you guys are bashing the don and assuming girls are the prize and are born with confidence and guile.

This is a issue for good looking guys period. How do you get past it? Depends on what you want. Do you want to change to get the girl? That would be bad! YOU don't change for girls you change for YOU!!!!!!!!!

If you want to change for you than do so. IF you want to stay yourself with out changing than you have to be more outgoing.

When I say change I mean style and apperance. NO matter what you are going to have to change if you see this as a problem in your life.

 

[zerocelcius]

Sombody said post a pic, I am not sure of their motive..., but here is a link.

It is a pic of me and to my double matches.

http://meetme.hotornot.com/r/?mb=NSKMHZG&key=RGV