My Passion For Women Is GONE

[TheMonkeyKing]

This is just building a strawman and shooting the strawman down.

As I say, it's not my job nor anyone else's to blow smoke up people's backsides, least of all here. There's quite enough of that going on as it is.

What some guys don't understand is that their hatred of women arises from residual blue pill expectations of finding the 'unicorn'. They therefore revolt, for example in the form of MGTOW like spoiled children because they're not already living happily every after with their Disney Princess.

They see that others are happy, yet insist that happiness doesn't exist because they've not found it yet / satiated their unrealistic expectations yet. Like I say, I could very easily jump on the bad wagon and say "there, there poor you. Yes aren't they all such horrible, horrible little girls", and nothing is achieved, except a bit of woman hating back-slapping.

Or, I can say what I really think, which is nothing more than tough love, because I WANT these guys to succeed rather than remain wallowing in perpetual self-pity..

 

[guru1000]

Often when you cannot find what you looking for, this is a glaring sign that you need to do more work on yourself; whether that work be physical, psychological, mental, emotional, or social.

While it's true that within the market of super-hot women, LTR "material" is scarce, I'd like to think that the seasoned men on this forum are super-achievers; that is, we are not looking to lock down a 5 or 6 with a happily ever after ...
Rather we are in the pursuit for absolute perfection in all facets of our lives, and this, in and of itself, is the attracting mechanism for the 8s and 9s (of stronger substance) whom we seek to build fruitful relations with.

I went out last night with a super-hot "glorified" hostess who worked in an A-list restaurant, took her back to her apt, and banged her brains out as I had thought I would. Thereafter, I left, and went alone to a five-star hotel, hung out on a couch, and noticed this stunning beauty to the right of me sitting with this average-hippie looking gent. Didn't seem her like bf, but nonetheless, how could Guru not at least try? When the guy took a stroll to the bathroom, I went right in with, "Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt, as I know how annoying it can be for people to interrupt your downtime especially while you're eating, but I gotta tell you <pause> You are one of the most ... beautiful ... women ...I have ever seen in person." Needless to say, she ate it up with a smile ear-to-ear, as I took her phone number with the "I gotta get going, but ..." Set anchors in their mind, so they never forget you. Like shooting fish in a barrel at times. Good times ...

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Rather we are in the pursuit for absolute perfection in all facets of our lives, and this, in and of itself, is the attracting mechanism for the 8s and 9s (of stronger substance) whom we seek to build fruitful relations with.

Exactly. Like has been discussed in Roober's thread, 8's and 9's tend to have more respect for everyone in general.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/experience-with-hb8-9.239428/#post-2413019

I really can't think why the OP still insists on 'settling' for 6's, nor how he fails to understand that this might actually be the root cause of his issue.....

And I quote from the other thread:

It's true that the highest calibre women don't really get approached much because most men, even high value men are too intimidated by their beauty. This results in two distinct benefits for men who do have the balls to approach and date them:

-They are high in self confidence and worth because they've had a lot of praise throughout life - despite what many think, this does not always result in narcissistic tendencies. They have a relatively low lay count; the guys they get with generally look after them and keep them around; therefore they have not been burned much.

-As a result of the above, they haven't had much reason or opportunity to develop bitterness and bad attitudes, compared to lower quality people who have been run through.

 

[Poon King]

K. Let's just all calm down for a second and apply a bit of logic, instead of the usual emotive bullsh!t like "good women don't exist", and the like....

Any man who says good women don't exist is basically saying he doesn't deserve a good woman, because the following is his belief system, at least on a subconscious level:

Good women don't exist > therefore good men don't exist (it's not fair to generalise to one and not the other) > hence, I am a man > therefore I am as undeserving as every other human being on the planet.

For those that can't understand how this belief system is a self-fulfilling prophecy, I only feel pity; I advise it's not dating tips or pick up skills you need, rather a few sessions of professional psych counselling first. You are clearly trying to run before you can walk.

Two points to conclude:

-There are millions of happy couples in the world, and equally millions of perfectly happy, satisfied singletons.

-That means your problems with women / relationships / dating aren't born from 'issues with the dating market' or 'all women being like that'. They are born from your own mindset. To be perfectly frank, and with due respect, no one else gives a fck about your romantic situation, and nor should they.


Your situation and feel feels are your own responsibility and yours alone, so quit expecting an entire race of women to meet your every expectation of perfection because that really is never going to happen. We know some women are disgusting, so fcking what, get the fck over it and sort your attitude out.

I somewhat disagree.

There are no "good women" and there are also no "bad women". Same for men. People are complex and have different values and motivations. We use our emotions to assign "good" or "bad" to certain people. There is no good or bad. There is just reality.

Men with high standards who don't like to tolerate a lot of crap will see the dating market as full of trash women not worthy of commitment. People with lower standards who just want companionship at any cost will be happy in a dysfunctional relationship and stay in it for many years.. if not death.

Lets keep it real.

@Tenacity your biggest problem is you have HIGH standards (something women are encouraged to have, but men are attacked for). And I don't blame you. However, you have crossed the line from high standards to unrealistic standards. This is something only YOU can fix.

 

[fastlife]

I don't think the advice of

• Be the prize
• Move to the city
• The universe will deliver you happiness

etc, will even begin to scratch the surface.

We're all playing a numbers game here. Demographics matter. Looks vary widely by location--a Missouri 9 is a SoCal 6. If you're looking for a 6 or higher, your chances are much higher in SoCal, New York, etc. Financial issues can be (mostly) solved by moving to a super zip or the city, usually. Plenty of girls in any given city living on Daddy's money. Has to be black? Well, you'll find far more high quality black girls on the campus of a higher tier HBCU than you will in the slums of the 9th Ward. You'll meet more black women & have a higher pool to choose from in cities like New Orleans, Atlanta, etc. than you would in St. Paul, Minneapolis.

That just leaves solid interest level & personality issues--so there's still work to be done (girls have an extremely wide variety of potential behavior depending on their perception of the male they're interacting with). But if you're in abundance--say you know you can walk a couple blocks to Washington Square and meet another fashion model--chances are you'll behave in a way that girls won't give you much sh1t. A small town 9 knows she's your best option for hundreds of miles & can treat you accordingly.

Now, you won't find a woman who isn't a woman--hypergamy & all--but you can find far more desirable matches if there are more desirable girls in the area.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Men with high standards who don't like to tolerate a lot of crap will see the dating market as full of trash women not worthy of commitment.

Agreed. The point being, we can sit here whining about it, or we can accept and get on with it. I'm not talking about tolerating crap, I mean get to a point where it's just water off a duck's back.

You stick the palm of your hand on the hot plate every day for a year and get burned because, well, that's the very nature of the exercise. You're just waiting for that one time the bastard isn't switched on; until that time comes, however there comes a point where you accept the consequences, just get back up and try again the next day. Life won't change for you until you change how you look at it.

Long story short, if you don't wanna get your fingers burned occasionally, stay out of the kitchen.

 

[Tenacity]

@Tenacity your biggest problem is you have HIGH standards (something women are encouraged to have, but men are attacked for). And I don't blame you. However, you have crossed the line from high standards to unrealistic standards. This is something only YOU can fix.

Give me your opinion on which one (or more) of these standards I should drop:

- The looks standard. This includes my definition of the girl being at least a 6, with no disabilities, no weight issues, etc. She's a solid 6 and higher.

- The kids standard. This includes the chick not having any kids from any other dudes, ESPECIALLY, from Ray Ray and Pookie (thugs/criminals).

- The finances standard. This includes the chick just having "efficient enough" finances to where she's not about to be kicked out of her apartment or house, car is about to be towed away, etc. She doesn't have to make 6 figures and doesn't have to be solid middle class, just at least in the WORKING CLASS to where she is self-sufficient and isn't going to be blowing me up to help her with basic bills/asking me for rides to X, Y, and Z cause she doesn't have reliable transportation.

- The personality/attitude standard. This includes chicks with mixed signals or even if they have "good enough" interest, sometimes it's a little difficult to communicate with them, keep things moving, etc. They are just in general, difficult to deal with.

 

[AttackFormation]

Give me your opinion on which one (or more) of these standards I should drop:

- The looks standard. This includes my definition of the girl being at least a 6, with no disabilities, no weight issues, etc. She's a solid 6 and higher.

- The kids standard. This includes the chick not having any kids from any other dudes, ESPECIALLY, from Ray Ray and Pookie (thugs/criminals).

- The finances standard. This includes the chick just having "efficient enough" finances to where she's not about to be kicked out of her apartment or house, car is about to be towed away, etc. She doesn't have to make 6 figures and doesn't have to be solid middle class, just at least in the WORKING CLASS to where she is self-sufficient and isn't going to be blowing me up to help her with basic bills/asking me for rides to X, Y, and Z cause she doesn't have reliable transportation.

- The personality/attitude standard. This includes chicks with mixed signals or even if they have "good enough" interest, sometimes it's a little difficult to communicate with them, keep things moving, etc. They are just in general, difficult to deal with.

I think the personality/attitude standard is too much in your case. If a girl is young, good looking and has no baggage from other dudes, that alone is enough to have a Lion King gazelle flood of guys ready to cut their and each others' balls off for her coming at her through work, social media, gym/classes, clubs, social circle and the odd random hit-ups. That she's financially self-supporting on top of that is just extra sauce. But then, you want this girl to also have no attitude problems, and that's where the problem is.

What you've gotta ask is if a person is both female, and good looking, and problem-free, along with having the kind of mindset you're looking for, how would she still be single beyond her early 20s if even that? she will be snapped up - especially if she's open to dating men who are more than a few or several years older than her like you would be, since her options for men who are already "set" will then be expanded. It's either that or she's going to have a reason for being single. This latter category is what you with your criteria are going to find on OLD, where the women you actually want don't need to hang out.

 

[Trunks]

I literally dated hundreds of women like this, except they weren't black and at least 7s, more 8s and 9s. I haven't met any women who don't fit this criteria.

To all you men who said this type of woman is non-existent, who and where the hell have you been dating?

Yup. May be that the circles Tenacity is looking in are not very good. In another thread, it was mentioned Tenacity might need to move to another city.

 

[9Volt]

@Tenacity It's more your passion for "perfection" than your passion for chicks that's the cause of your dilemma.

 

[Roober]

@Tenacity It's more your passion for "perfection" than your passion for chicks that's the cause of your dilemma.

This! By singling out to black women only, that knocks you down to 6.4% of the population. Then add in looks, you likely want someone between 18-34, high interest in you, and financially stable? You are likely targeting 0.1% of the US population. This would mean that you potentially need to meet 1,000 women to get the 1. In all likelihood, you will pass her up without even realizing it, leaving you to search through the next 1,000 women. I doubt you have time for all of that...

What do I suggest?
-Try dating different types of women, races, education, etc.
-Try new venues to meet people. The ones you are doing are not working for you.
-Understand that everyone is different and you ARE NOT going to like everything about them. That is a fact

I had a buddy just like you, who was very very picky on who he would get in a long term relationship with. However, he didn't spin plates or date multiple women. He eventually "settled", at least that it looks like to me (haven't talked to him in years and she is very subpar). I would hate to see you settle... Figure out what is most important and work forward from there...

 

[BeTheChange]

This! By singling out to black women only, that knocks you down to 6.4% of the population. Then add in looks, you likely want someone between 18-34, high interest in you, and financially stable? You are likely targeting 0.1% of the US population. This would mean that you potentially need to meet 1,000 women to get the 1. In all likelihood, you will pass her up without even realizing it, leaving you to search through the next 1,000 women. I doubt you have time for all of that...

What do I suggest?
-Try dating different types of women, races, education, etc.
-Try new venues to meet people. The ones you are doing are not working for you.
-Understand that everyone is different and you ARE NOT going to like everything about them. That is a fact

I had a buddy just like you, who was very very picky on who he would get in a long term relationship with. However, he didn't spin plates or date multiple women. He eventually "settled", at least that it looks like to me (haven't talked to him in years and she is very subpar). I would hate to see you settle... Figure out what is most important and work forward from there...

Horsesh*t. If you guys honestly believe that the women Tenacity seeks are rare then I feel sorry for you.

Above a 6?

Not fat?

Not up to her eyeballs on debt?

If you think these qualities are unachievable in a mate then I suggest you get off sosuave and up your value.

You fellas must seriously be dumpster diving.

 

[Roober]

Horsesh*t. If you guys honestly believe that the women Tenacity seeks are rare then I feel sorry for you.

Above a 6?

Not fat?

Not up to her eyeballs on debt?

If you think these qualities are unachievable in a mate then I suggest you get off sosuave and up your value.

You fellas must seriously be dumpster diving.

Well, he seeks only black women, which is only 6% of the population in the U.S. Depending on where he lives, that may be more or less. Also depending on where he lives, he may not find many 6's (yes, women are generally larger in certain states). Not only this, but he wants a certain age bracket without kids and financially stable (which is highly subjective).

Just by simple simple statistics, this is a small portion of the general population. And this isn't even factoring whether or not they are married or single. SImple US Census Data research will give you this info.

Just saying from a completely logical perspective... I could crunch the numbers if it were that important...

 

[guru1000]

Horsesh*t. If you guys honestly believe that the women Tenacity seeks are rare then I feel sorry for you.

Above a 6?

Not fat?

Not up to her eyeballs on debt?

If you think these qualities are unachievable in a mate then I suggest you get off sosuave and up your value.

You fellas must seriously be dumpster diving.

Bravo. Why even bother posting on this site if your aspiration were a 6 with simple qualifiers? Men should strive for absolute greatness in their sphere(s). The journey toward excellence is one worth living. Rise up, Strive great or go home.

The goal is not the girl, rather the journey and growth in your quest for superlative self-improvement. When you set the bar so low for yourself, you have already circumscribed your potentiality.

 

[9Volt]

@Tenacity. Follow the expert advice of those on SS who continuously get 10's with zero issues on a regular basis. Make sure you stay on SS while doing that spewing airclaims looking for as many reps as you can get while claiming you are in the top % of earners in the world. Problem solved. After all. You can be whomever you want on the internet.

 

[devilkingx2]

@Tenacity

give us a breakdown of a number of girls you've dated that things didn't work out with so we can analyze your situation better

say, any 10 random girls you can remember (more recent or more significant is preferable), tell us how things went, how they ended, and why.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Your passion for women is gone? Cool now you can live your life with passion. Women are a just a component in the grand scheme of this journey. Travel, create and do a bucket list. Take up new hobbies just live

 

[Tenacity]

Guys this is a great discussion. Let me provide more information as this will answer some of the follow up questions you guys posted:

#1.) 200 - 250 Chicks Since March 2010

- Since March 2010 (when I became "attractive" it's been well over 200 women I've dated). Most of those I fvcked as well, some I didn't fvck. I would say the number (now that we are into 2017) is closer to 250.


#2.) THE CLOSEST I Got To The Criteria

- I didn't find 1 girl that fit all requirements. The CLOSEST I got was a chick that looked good (6 or 7 plus), good finances, a low level of personality/attitude issues, solid "enough" interest, and she MIGHT have no more than 1 kid. That's the CLOSEST I got to it.

- I'm thinking I'm going to have to settle the criteria, as Roober was saying, because I prefer black women and considering the age range I target (25 - 32) I'm just shooting myself in the foot because you don't have a lot of prospects that look good, with no kids and good finances to START....to where I would then run through that pile and do the numbers game to round up those that are interested.


#3.) What I Absolutely CANNOT Tolerate

What I can't tolerate anymore are:

- Piss Poor Looks: Chicks with lower than a 6 in Looks

- Piss Poor Finances: Chicks with VERY bad finances. When I say bad finances I'm talking about she is on the god damn phone asking me for help with this, that, and this, because the bytch is BROKE. That's a turn-off, I'm sorry. A fvcking turn-off...I don't care how good she looks.

- Kids From Thugs: I also can't deal with a chick who has any number of kids (I don't care if it's just 1 kid) from RAY RAY or POOKIE. You want an example of WTF you deal with in this situation? Check out my thread here when one of those loser a.ss thug baby daddies calls your phone: www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/tenacity-gets-threatened-by-a-thug-listen-lol.233962/


#4.) Revised Criteria

I think I still have enough passion for the following chicks (which I have found before):

- At Least Cute Enough: This is the chick that's at least a 6. She will be cute in the face, not fat, no major disabilities, and a good enough body.

- Decent Finances: She doesn't need to be 6 figures nor even middle class, just have your shyt together. Don't call my god damn phone asking for help with this, or that, just because I'm your "man" or "dating you". Fvck that. Have your shyt together.

- Personality/Attitude/Interest: This has to be at least solid. No mixed signals, good enough communication, no major personality/attitude/mental illness issues. Interest doesn't have to be sky high, just not low, it can be at least "mild/medium" interest which is good enough to fvck her, keep her moving forward, etc.

- Kids: Okay, she can have no more than 1 fvcking kid, but the kid can't be by Ray Ray or Pookie. It has to be by some dude that's like TENACITY, which means I can actually sit down, talk, have a beer, and be friends with the dude.

I've found a good number of these chicks out of the 250 women since March 2010, I think this is going to be the BEST it's going to get. I STILL have some PASSION left for these women here.

 

[9Volt]

Guys this is a great discussion. Let me provide more information as this will answer some of the follow up questions you guys posted:

#1.) 200 - 250 Chicks Since March 2010

- Since March 2010 (when I became "attractive" it's been well over 200 women I've dated). Most of those I fvcked as well, some I didn't fvck. I would say the number (now that we are into 2017) is closer to 250.


#2.) THE CLOSEST I Got To The Criteria

- I didn't find 1 girl that fit all requirements. The CLOSEST I got was a chick that looked good (6 or 7 plus), good finances, a low level of personality/attitude issues, solid "enough" interest, and she MIGHT have no more than 1 kid. That's the CLOSEST I got to it.

- I'm thinking I'm going to have to settle the criteria, as Roober was saying, because I prefer black women and considering the age range I target (25 - 32) I'm just shooting myself in the foot because you don't have a lot of prospects that look good, with no kids and good finances to START....to where I would then run through that pile and do the numbers game to round up those that are interested.


#3.) What I Absolutely CANNOT Tolerate

What I can't tolerate anymore are:

- Piss Poor Looks: Chicks with lower than a 6 in Looks

- Piss Poor Finances: Chicks with VERY bad finances. When I say bad finances I'm talking about she is on the god damn phone asking me for help with this, that, and this, because the bytch is BROKE. That's a turn-off, I'm sorry. A fvcking turn-off...I don't care how good she looks.

- Kids From Thugs: I also can't deal with a chick who has any number of kids (I don't care if it's just 1 kid) from RAY RAY or POOKIE. You want an example of WTF you deal with in this situation? Check out my thread here when one of those loser a.ss thug baby daddies calls your phone: www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/tenacity-gets-threatened-by-a-thug-listen-lol.233962/


#4.) Revised Criteria

I think I still have enough passion for the following chicks (which I have found before):

- At Least Cute Enough: This is the chick that's at least a 6. She will be cute in the face, not fat, no major disabilities, and a good enough body.

- Decent Finances: She doesn't need to be 6 figures nor even middle class, just have your shyt together. Don't call my god damn phone asking for help with this, or that, just because I'm your "man" or "dating you". Fvck that. Have your shyt together.

- Personality/Attitude/Interest: This has to be at least solid. No mixed signals, good enough communication, no major personality/attitude/mental illness issues. Interest doesn't have to be sky high, just not low, it can be at least "mild/medium" interest which is good enough to fvck her, keep her moving forward, etc.

- Kids: Okay, she can have no more than 1 fvcking kid, but the kid can't be by Ray Ray or Pookie. It has to be by some dude that's like TENACITY, which means I can actually sit down, talk, have a beer, and be friends with the dude.

I've found a good number of these chicks out of the 250 women since March 2010, I think this is going to be the BEST it's going to get. I STILL have some PASSION left for these women here.

At least you haven't completely abandoned your passion for chicks and become a passion fruit.

See how things go. You may be surprised if you give people a chance.

 

[wifehunter]

Have any other passions?

Go with those.