My online profile

[jaymo]

Tell me what you think of this description. It's a refinement of mine over the past couple months, and I think it's great because so far it's gotten me quite a few winks and even a phone number, and I didn't even PAY ANYTHING on the online dating site I wrote this profile on. On the number, girl lived too far away tho, as I generally don't like driving more than an hour to meet someone I might not even like. I just don't do the long distance thing.



Header: Evil Super Genius looking to take over the world


About me

I'm an evil genius with dreams of world domination. My hobbies are practising my evil laugh, playing childish pranks on super heros, shooting ballistic missiles over major world cities, and hunting large animals with my grenade launcher. Should I succeed in taking over the world I promise all my followers and minions a place to live in Australia and a lifetime supply of cookies. So is scarcasm a foreign language to you?

Seriously, I don't think people really care too much about what people really put in these profiles. It's always the same thing anyways with people trying to put their best foot forward and saying stuff like "I'm a nice, smart guy with a great personality and a sense of humor" and so on. Yea...right. I think you're lying about the sense of humor because your profile's putting me to sleep. Then there's all the boring or wierd emails you get from guys on here too who try to act cool, but you sort of feel that it's all an act.

My feelings about these sites and are that they are great to screen out people, but the sooner you meet the better. You can't really know a person online because it's too easy to be one person online and completely different in real life, and it's too easy to lie about yourself or be lied to about even the most basic things. Besides, getting to know a person is more than knowing trivia facts about them like how old they are, where they live, or what they like to do. It's about seeing how he acts around you and others and a million other little things that would be hard to explain in words.

Bottom line, lets get together as soon as possible and do something fun.




My accomplishments

I graduated high school and traveled all over the place in the US and abroad, and I have lived my life with few regrets so far.

 

[Lust]

Like it.

It puts you a notch above everyone else's.

 

[Vypros]

Absolute crap.

You'll be lucky if they even MAKE it to the 2nd paragraph, which is where you start actually being yourself.

On the internet you want to be as normal as possible. Things like "evil genious" just sound geeky.

Cut the evil genious crap and the top paragraph.

 

[jaymo]

Absolute crap.

You'll be lucky if they even MAKE it to the 2nd paragraph, which is where you start actually being yourself.

On the internet you want to be as normal as possible. Things like "evil genious" just sound geeky.

Cut the evil genious crap and the top paragraph.

It's meant to be an attention grabber and make people crack up (the whole showing you have a sense of humor instead of just stating it), and get people to keep reading. Anyone else think I'm better off cutting it out? I'd need a new opener if I did..........

Seriously, I couldnt care less since it was one of those free profile thingys when i wrote this, but when i saw the responses I was getting I was like "maybe it wasn't half bad after all".

 

[Vypros]

What kinds of responses did you get?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You'll be lucky if they even MAKE it to the 2nd paragraph, which is where you start actually being yourself..

I agree however I like the premise. It easily grabbed my attention but it distracted me as easily. There was too much distraction than info to pull me in further.

I say integrate into your headline something about how you are looking for a particular type of woman to help you. Your profile should then elaborate on that by describing how her personality and interests would integrate with yours.

One thing to remember is that you are marketing yourself to women so you may not want to put such a heavy emphasis on "comic book" type style. Also understand that in this manner you are focusing your search to a type of woman who would appreciate this type of character and humor. Expect replies for mainly a specific subset of the women online.

 

[Obsidian]

it's not bad, but it's probably a little too long. That should be an easy problem to correct, tho, considering it's also too verbose.

RECOMMENDATION:

1. Cut the last sentence (about sarcasm) out of the first paragraph.

2. Leave only the first sentence in the second paragraph.

3. Cut out the last two sentences in the third paragraph. (Instead, end the paragraph with the words "basic things.")

4. Keep the last sentence about doing something fun, and leave it by itself. 1-sentence paragraphs are fine for something like this.



Make it look like this:

I'm an evil genius with dreams of world domination. My hobbies are practising my evil laugh, playing childish pranks on super heros, shooting ballistic missiles over major world cities, and hunting large animals with my grenade launcher. Should I succeed in taking over the world I promise all my followers and minions a place to live in Australia and a lifetime supply of cookies.

Seriously, I don't think people really care too much about what people really put in these profiles.

My feelings about these sites and are that they are great to screen out people, but the sooner you meet the better. You can't really know a person online because it's too easy to be one person online and completely different in real life, and it's too easy to lie about yourself or be lied to about even the most basic things.

Bottom line, lets get together as soon as possible and do something fun.




My accomplishments

I graduated high school and traveled all over the place in the US and abroad, and I have lived my life with few regrets so far.

 

[Obsidian]

alternatively, I think some people actually do care what others write in their profiles. But if you're the type of person who doesn't then this profile should be good for you.


*oh yeah, and "practicing" is spelled with a c. Use a spell-check before you advertise yourself, seriously...

 

[dap]

This is really bad. It sounds like you spent a lot of time on it and that you are trying really hard to be funny. This is what people will think when they read this. Instead, put some social proof stuff in their and some ****y-funny. Actually, in my oppinion, dont create an online portfolio at all. Meet people in the real world.

 

[BBX]

You sound like a total fukin dork.

 

[jaymo]

What kinds of responses did you get?

These are the different actual emails that I actually GOT (that weren't already deleted).

you seem interesting, I admire the forward honesty, altho I bet some find it a turn off. I like it. I agree with everything you said altho I think I am too one of the ones who got on here and wrote out who I think I am and might sound like a telemarketer, if I had time to redo it this year, I might be a little more creative, esp. after reading yours. But, I did this like last Jan. and then I put my profile on invisible for a year and just came back into it since I just moved to Carthage and don't know too many people. I would consider meeting you, you sound funny, that is if I meet your looks expectations, lol. I would be willing to drive to you, but...what is wrong with you driving to me? Are you ever in the Carthage area?

All in all, if you are interested, I am not on here much but you could call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. I'm available to answer most all the time, so you pick.

My name is Amber btw.
I can't wait to hear from you!

Actually, my profile was slightly different (I made some reference to guys sounding like telemarketers when they talk to women or something along those lines, which I have since taken out).

Hey,

Just got done looking at your profile and reading what you have to say. There's a lot of truth to that. I know what you mean though. Well, I hope to hear back from you soon. I really don't live far away from you. Only about 45 minutes. TTYl.

Also got a lot of "winks" from the girls that just make profiles but are cheap like me and don't pay the monthly fee.

Well, hello there, jaymo777 (2 of these)
04/02/2007 04:24AM

Your profile made me smile (2 of these)

Hi, jaymo777: Write back soon (2 of these)

just had to wink... (1)

You caught my eye (1)

XXX is interested in you (1)

XXX just winked at you (1)



This goes back as far as Feb 6 this year.

I agree however I like the premise. It easily grabbed my attention but it distracted me as easily. There was too much distraction than info to pull me in further.

I say integrate into your headline something about how you are looking for a particular type of woman to help you. Your profile should then elaborate on that by describing how her personality and interests would integrate with yours.

One thing to remember is that you are marketing yourself to women so you may not want to put such a heavy emphasis on "comic book" type style. Also understand that in this manner you are focusing your search to a type of woman who would appreciate this type of character and humor. Expect replies for mainly a specific subset of the women online.

Yea, I see what you mean. I may have to come up with something that might have a broader appeal. I just feel that I need some humor in there too. Good thoughts tho.

 

[sparky0000]

You sound like a total fukin dork.

More like a psychotic dork to me. That first paragraph was just too weird. I don't even think a gay boy would continue reading. You wrote way too much, and yet you still managed to say nothing. The reader is left more confused than before he began. I really hope that you are 9 years old, because if you are not you really should grow the f*** up.

Anybody who tells you that you attract girls by being funny is full of s***. Girls are more interested in mysterious quite types who have an intense nature about themselves.

 

[jaymo]

More like a psychotic dork to me. That first paragraph was just too weird. I don't even think a gay boy would continue reading. You wrote way too much, and yet you still managed to say nothing. The reader is left more confused than before he began. I really hope that you are 9 years old, because if you are not you really should grow the f*** up.

Anybody who tells you that you attract girls by being funny is full of s***. Girls are more interested in mysterious quite types who have an intense nature about themselves.

I guess sarcasm is a foreign language to you.

But really, flaming is not cool. If you want to criticize, please be constructive about it.

Besides, isn't "being mysterious" about saying stuff without really giving any information about yourself away?

Also, I revised the profile a bit and decided to cut the first paragraph out.



Headline: I have ADD and............so who wants cookies?


No i don't have ADD (attention deficit disorder).

My feelings about these dating sites and are that they are great for screening out people, but the sooner you meet in real life the better.

You can't get to know a person online because it's too easy to be one person online and completely different in real life. Plus, anyone can lie about themselves or say stuff that they think is true about themselves when it really isn't true.

There are a million little things that you can discover by being with them that you can't know from email, instant messenger, or even the phone.

Bottom line, lets get together as soon as possible and do something fun, and you can judge me by who I really am, not the person you think I am online.

 

[sparky0000]

Look, you wanted people's opinions. I gave you mine. You are not a funny boy. Get that through your head. Girls are not going to be attracted to you because you are a silly boy. That is unless you are a silly boy who has his own TV sitcom. If that is the case, you shouldn't have to resort to picking up girls via the Net.

Sorry, but I have never heard of or known a girl who falls madly in love with a guy because he is silly and goofy. ONE LAST TIME...Most girls want a guy who can give them money to shop and who gets the other girls talking. Talking about what? Talking about how she has a boyfriend that has money and/or power. Do you really think that girls sit around talking about how sexy goofy boys are? Give me a break. Girls get off on guys who appear dominating (hence the money and/or power thing). The day girls start laughing at me is the day I blow my brains out. She can hate me, she can fear me, she can love me...BUT...please don't laugh at me.

 

[Jack McCrack]

Too lengthy.

 

[Lust]

It's fine, you are getting good responses. Forget all the other negativity.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Yea, I see what you mean. I may have to come up with something that might have a broader appeal. I just feel that I need some humor in there too. Good thoughts tho.

Stick with the humor, it definitely works. But you need to weave substance through it. That will allow them to read entirely through it without feeling that you aren't serious in what you are looking for or too serious and stuffy.

 

[Jackman]

Look, forget "winks" and all that other stuff. It doesn't mean sh1t. Success is a phone number and a date with an attractive woman. If you haven't gotten that, your ad is a failure. Period.

Some time back I wrote a tip that might help on how to use online personals effectively. You can read it here: Jackman's Approach To Online Dating.

 

[jaymo]

Look, forget "winks" and all that other stuff. It doesn't mean sh1t. Success is a phone number and a date with an attractive woman. If you haven't gotten that, your ad is a failure. Period.

Some time back I wrote a tip that might help on how to use online personals effectively. You can read it here: Jackman's Approach To Online Dating.

This is very true. I'll take this to heart. Numbers mean nothing if you never end up getting together with them. I actually found a girl that "winked" at me that was someone that I previously corresponded with on myspace (what are the chances she'd actually use the exact same picture and me spotting it). I wrote to her and told her about it, and guess what. SHE SAID SHE WASN'T EVEN SERIOUS ABOUT IT. She was basically checking out the site with no intention of ever using it. Needless to say, when I tried to get together with her, she gave me the story of how she was so incredibly busy with work and school and had almost no social life because of it.

Was a real eye opener.

So I reworked my profile to say the following:

headline: Don't wink at me. It's lame and says you're not serious about meeting me.



I personally think that these online dating sites are great for meeting people. I don't believe that "getting to know someone" online really works. I know better than most that the person you are online is not the same person in real life. I want to know you by who you are in real life, not the person you choose to be online. There are a million little things you can find out about someone just by being with them that you will never know online or even on the phone. If you contact me, be prepared to meet me within 2 weeks.

One last thing. Do not "wink" at me because I won't respond if you do. Contact me with a personal message and include your info when you do. Just be aware that the site likes to filter information, so replace the "at" sign with a blank and write "dot com" when writing your info (your # is a better alternative). If you don't make it where I can outside this site, you'll never hear from me.

(i sometimes get emails from women, and they try to give me their email, but the site disguises it as something else so I have to pay to respond.....very annoying)

who I like to meet:

I won't drive further than (city near my town) so if you live more than an hour away from (my home town) you're going to have to drive to me. I am not interested in women with kids or anyone recently divorced. Other than that, I judge on a case by case basis. You'll know if I want to met you if I contact you through whatever contact info you give me.


My accomplishments

That is something you'll find out on the 2nd or 3rd date (or beyond), if it ever gets that far. Remember, if I wink back at you after you contact me through here, it means I can't contact you and you'll need to resend your info another way.



Actually got another email using this, along with a bazillion winks (changed the profile pic too). Are these girls non serious or just cheapskates like me?

Anyways, I just sent an email to her, so I'll give updates as I can.

 

[Memorex]

Lol, they probably sent you all those winks to see if you were serious about not responding to them unless its a message, there just testing you.