My new mindset with dating and women

[Dash Riprock]

I only mentioned it because there are a lot of men here who misconstrue it to apply across the board. I don’t need any help. I’m pretty straight on it. It’s a $hit term.

I think it's one of the most important terms (IDGAF) a man can learn and incorporate into his life so I'll guess we'll respectfully agree to disagree.

Cheers.

 

[Ranger]

I think it's one of the most important terms (IDGAF) a man can learn and incorporate into his life so I'll guess we'll respectfully agree to disagree.

Cheers.

Totally. Be a man is.

 

[sangheilios]

I bolded the parts of the OP I found problematic.

• It's not a girl's job to keep you entertained. She is there to experience you. I'll say it again: SHE IS ONLY THERE TO EXPERIENCE YOU.
• The quality of your interactions with a girl is a DIRECT reflection of the quality of your interaction with yourself. Have you ever experienced a time in your life when everything was just going your way? When you felt awesome & were having fun? Those are the times in your life you meet the 'best' girls--but that's just a side effect.
• By the same token, if you feel bored, disappointed, etc. when interacting with a girl, what does it say about your current experience of yourself? Why? They're the exact same girls lol--the cool ones, the fun ones, the boring ones, etc. They are all the same girls.
• Why are you letting girls lead the interaction? Lol. No sh1t the convo's gonna be boring--talk about what YOU want to talk about. But you don't know what you want to talk about, because you haven't fully realized WHO you are beyond, Well, I'm 6'4 and hawt and well, I deserve pretty girls. Bro, start living your fvcking life and stop waiting for things to happen to you.
• If girls consistently fail to live up to your expectations, what is more likely to be fvcked up, the girls you meet or your expectations for what they should be? Ok, maybe a little bit of both, but you can't change female behavior on the meta level but you can change your expectations. And, overtime, women will adhere to your expectations of them.
• If you want hotter girls, better go out & find them. If you want to meet a lot of hotter girls, better go out a lot.

And it's not my job to keep them entertained lol. What the hell am I supposed to talk to women about when I have nothing in common with any of them. Am I supposed to go on a one sided conversation about the things that I do, as if they'd even have any interest? Seriously, my life consists of training/working out, investments, making money, hanging out with my friends, playing chess, reading and taking classes for physical therapy school. No one cares about stuff like that lol.

Most women are boring, not sure where you are from. Hell, all of my friends tell me just smile, nod and agree and it works lol. I personally can't feign interest like that, as I'm not there to entertain them lol.

The best times of my life have always involved having NO women around at all, as all they did was detract from my life, not enhance it.

 

[The_411]

There are a lot of ****ty women out there. IDAGF is different than getting rid of outcome dependency.

The problem here is that by assuming that your date will suck because women are ****ty is still being outcome dependent because you are assuming a negative outcome.

The purpose of not being outcome dependent is to just let things take their course and assume no specific outcome.

As Dash said the idea is to fun, charismatic, playful, sexual etc because you can control those things. You cannot control how she will behave or react. If you do your best and she isn’t into it then there is no ambiguity about what happened. Sometimes there is no interest.

IDAGF is a state of mind where you do not get caught up in petty crap and you do not let others influence your decisions. You make your own choices and you deal with the benefits and the ramifications. You control you and your behavior.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Im not as qualified as many of the users in this board but somehow I can relate to sanghelios.

Bro I believe you are just tired of dealing with nonsense and useless drama which is was 90% of modern women are.

Its not about the women its about that sensation of a hammer hitting your balls anytime you deal with them and their desire to complicate things.

My suggestion is take a break to restore your mental health and once you feel you wanna try again do it, but if you feel like saying fvck it then go ahead and do it.

I find myself in a situation similar to yours, dealing with a reasonably looking girl nowadays demands so much discomfort that unless she is doing her best to make it work and your c0ck demands satisfaction...most of the times its not even worth.

Again its not women themselves but more the social and cultural setting, from this damn social networks to their hamster powered brain that wants social rituals and social rules to be obeyed.

Btw agree that women are generally boring, take away their social media, "travels", parties and celebrities and you basically take away 90% of what they do.

 

[guru1000]

IDGAF applies not only to women. The strongest salesmen in the world employ NGAF. The sub-context of IT reflects in their demeanor, tone, delivery. IDGAF is the anti-thesis to desperation, while desperation is the anathema to attraction. The confusion relates in outward appearances vs. genuine mentality.

Outer <> Inner

One can act one way, but think another.

It's simply really. Regardless whether one believes in a methodology or not does not change its efficiency. IDGAF will operate in successful closers whether thought about or not.

 

[sangheilios]

You’re probably confusing them in a sense, but it’s not so much your fault.

They see essentially a tall Chad. So they stereotypically assume you’ll be this outgoing life of party extrovert bad boy F-boy.

But you’re a highly intelligent introvert quiet clean cut “deep” sort of guy.

This “conflict” will fry the hamsters of a lot of Staceys*.

My advice to intelligent introverted guys is to use you natural strength: interacting with people one on one. Don’t try to “work a room.” Talk to one person at a time, and see if you click. If you want to keep an IDGAF attitude, that’s fine; but be careful not to come across as cold or pissed off.

*Attractive bar/club chicks.

I've had several people tell me this and I've long been aware of it. I am who I am by nature so for me to try to put on an act or attempt to play the game like other guys do is not going to work, as that is just not being true to myself.

I'm not spontaneous at all by nature and it takes me a while to truly open up to people in general. Most men aren't like that, and as you said these women see that and are confused by it or think there is something wrong with me or perhaps think I'm just not interested, which is the case at times.

 

[Ranger]

OP is not interested in handling his state of mind.

 

[Mike32ct]

I've had several people tell me this and I've long been aware of it. I am who I am by nature so for me to try to put on an act or attempt to play the game like other guys do is not going to work, as that is just not being true to myself.

I'm not spontaneous at all by nature and it takes me a while to truly open up to people in general. Most men aren't like that, and as you said these women see that and are confused by it or think there is something wrong with me or perhaps think I'm just not interested, which is the case at times.

We’re on the same page. I’m definitely NOT suggesting that you become a “fake extrovert” lol. Screw that 2004 advice.

That’s why I gave you a specific tip that works for brainy introverts. I’m one myself.

I’m going out tonight. I’ll chat with one or two MILFs if I find any.

 

[Ranger]

IDGAF is the anti-thesis to desperation, while desperation is the anathema to attraction.

Which is why abundance, as mentioned, is important.
Handling why a man feels desperate is quite the monumental task as it is buried deep. It is not as simple as him just thinking it or writing it 100,000 times.

Removing the programming underneath of a guy still stuck in nerds-ville would have to come first.

Putting good data on top of bad data programming doesn’t work. That’s quite self evident. So he illogically applies it across the board. ESPECIALLY if he has a passive personality. Which most members have here. They will be on this site until hell freezes over. They know the words and accept the principles but it stunts their ability to apply it internally. In other words, it doesn’t take hold and replace programming. How they think needs to change.

Until they can assimilate just the traits of a man....
A man doesn’t do things that make him sexless.
Dead men don’t give a fuk. He better give a fuk about himself and stop being an upset angry b!tch.
A passive applies ideas across the board.

You’re right to say it’s a “sub-text”. Because it’s underneath. It’s not on the surface. This guy is applying it across the board and then saying there’s something wrong with women or they are just dumb and uninteresting.
IDGAF is just something we call a state of being or thinking. That’s not what he’s doing.

 

[thelad]

Dead men don’t give a fuk. He better give a fuk about himself and stop being an upset angry b!tch.

Love this its pretty dead on! never a truer word said! that's what. its all about cos when women see you give a fuk they want a piece of it!

 

[guru1000]

You’re right to say it’s a “sub-text”. Because it’s underneath. It’s not on the surface. This guy is applying it across the board and then saying there’s something wrong with women or they are just dumb and uninteresting.
IDGAF is just something we call a state of being or thinking. That’s not what he’s doing.

It's entirely sub-context, and it's quite healthy IF employed correctly.

I decided long ago to commit to a very simple act. I would create a To-Do list. This list would encompass all acts I must do for the day. As long as I perform all on that list, I can completely forego all fvcks about everything.

Think about powerful men and the mountains of stress some of them carry with all the potential liabilities, lawsuits, employees, bad investments, disingenuous people in their circles. If they were emotionally invested into it all, they would live a very unpleasant, short life. And some do.

Releasing the care--but doing the leg work--is the just about the most propitious act any man can do.

 

[Mike32ct]

Ranger, your point isn’t lost on me.

You properly pointed out that if you go full IDGAF, then there is no intent or no “will to win” of sorts.

It’s a trap I’ve fallen in many times and will seek to avoid going forward.

Nevertheless, I still think an introvert can and should use his natural strength of having deeper one on one conversations rather than trying to entertain large groups of women with small talk.

 

[Ranger]

It's entirely sub-context, and it's quite healthy IF employed correctly.

I decided long ago to commit to a very simple act. I would create a To-Do list. This list would encompass all acts I must do for the day. As long as I perform all on that list, I can completely forego all fvcks about everything.

Think about powerful men and the mountains of stress some of them carry with all the potential liabilities, lawsuits, employees, bad investments, bad people in their circles. If they were emotionally invested into it all, they would live a very unpleasant, short life. And some do.

Releasing the care--but doing the leg work--is the just about the most propitious act any man can do.

This is high level productivity. This is advanced proficiency. Many of us do this.
A great tool. Most men are not in a good enough state to do this or they already would be doing it.
There’s a lot of introspection involved.

 

[guru1000]

This is high level productivity. This is advanced proficiency. Many of us do this.
A great tool. Most men are not in a good enough state to do this or they already would be doing it.
There’s a lot of introspection involved.

I've seen many die while their bodies shut down due to the stress of seemly minor events. Yet, I sit here unphased with mountains of adversity on my lap often. OP's "problem" is no problem, and very weak in its origination.

The mind is a powerful instrument if directed properly.

Show me what you can handle and I'll show you how successful you can be.

 

[Ranger]

Ranger, your point isn’t lost on me.

You properly pointed out that if you go full IDGAF, then there is no intent or no “will to win” of sorts.

It’s a trap I’ve fallen in many times and will seek to avoid going forward.

Nevertheless, I still think an introvert can and should use his natural strength of having deeper one on one conversations rather than trying to entertain large groups of women with small talk.

We agree. A dominant man can be either. Same with a passive man. They really do need to lean to their strengths. We agree Mike.
The “tactics” and “thought processes” are much different between dominants and passives and introverts and extroverts.

The PUA world has not solved this riddle. It’s the individual man to recognize his strengths and weaknesses. Some of it is damn hard to look at.
Admitting, all the way down to your core, that your whole life up to this point is a lie designed to entrap you, is a brutal experience.

 

[Mike32ct]

Exactly Ranger. Nothing to add.

 

[Ranger]

I've seen many die while their bodies shut down due to the stress of seemly minor events. Yet, I sit here unphased with mountains of adversity on my lap often. OP's "problem" is no problem, and very weak in its origination.

The mind is a powerful instrument if directed properly.

Show me what you can handle and I'll show you how successful you can be.

I’m the same way. I get it. Overcoming obstacles is a very precise engagement. You only handle one thing at a time. Nothing else. Then go to the next thing. Nothing else. Soon all those problems are long gone. Proficiency. You stay the course.

Simple things to make a man a better man are lacking.

 

[thelad]

what's IDGAF mean - tried looking for it where I find these references!?

 

[Ranger]

what's IDGAF mean - tried looking for it where I find these references!?

I Don’t Give A Fuk