My Journal

[Chamber36]

I have been slacking in school a bit, failed 2 tests (which I can retake), fvcked up 3 mini-projects (Revit, CAD(retake), and a practical report). I hope I can retake the practical report.

If I retake the practical, the Revit, and the 2 exams and pass, then I will only be missing 2 points. It's really horrible that I fvcked up CAD. If I make it now I might still be able to get the points. I better finish that fvckin project.

I have been slacking off at the gym too, only to focus on school, and I haven't really been able to focus on school. Mostly due to a lack of sleep.

Besides that I feel pretty good. Noticing that I am getting a bit more pudgy though, since I spent a few days at my moms and got stuffed with food.

Club-wise I feel good though. Rejected some cougars and a 4(which was better than my tinder-fvck*Shiver.

So now plans:

1. Finish that CAD bull****, and the practical crap I forgot to hand in.
2. Focus on school, dedicate myself.
3. Keep working out in the gym.

 

[Chamber36]

Well I am finally back on the road of self-improvement (AGAIN), after a short 6 month period of taking care of my brother.

Now that he's gone I've been hitting the gym and reading more seduction material (The Art of Seduction). Can already see more definition in my pecs and my glutes are bigger. The whole upper body is also becoming more solid, including the lats.

What's nice about the gym is that I can do some kickboxing training there(not real kickboxing as there is no sparring) with some girls. I was training with about 7 other girls or so, and u got to train in pairs, so I was paired up with a chick. I wasn't really attracted as she's not my type, but I was getting slight IOI's, also from another girl who seemed attractive. The point is, though, that I am doing something I like to do in an environment with chicks. Afterwards I immediately felt more inclined to approach other girls at the gym. Funny how that works.

I like that the kickboxing in the gym helps me to be more comfortable with chicks in a normal environment, as opposed to school (where I sort of lost my mojo because I neglected to game a chick, which I still feel a little guilty over. Her interest level was sky high), the club (where most girls' ego's are inflated, and the cute girls seem to all have chaperones and orbiters), and a prostitute (which is total bull**** anyway).

So it was a nice change of pace.

Another pro of my brother being gone is that I can focus on school more as he is not distracting me.

I'm therefore about to do some more homework before class tomorrow. After class I go home to sleep, and will continue my studies and my working out. They are the 2 most important things in my life and I plan to cut down the drinking and maybe even quit smoking as I find myself lacking the oxygen I need to really have an effective workout. Plus smoking is bad for the skin.

 

[Chamber36]

Today was different

I realised today I really got to make a change, at that my personality is still somewhat maleable. You know how they say it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks, right. Well if you keep on training him, it should always be possible.

Anyways, I had class this morning. Lately I had insomnia, but I still managed to wake up early today. I've got a metaphor for how school is: I feel like a child who decided he liked something, and now I'm forced to endure way too much of it. Like a child being forced to smoke a carton of cigarettes in one go.

When I got there during class, I found out I failed 2 exams. The only 2 exams I had any hope of passing (out of 4). So outside during a break, I started talkin to some chicks, she wants to give me a video of the class on USB, because we need it for a project. It was a relief to talk to the two girls though. Their IOI's were pretty blatant to me, with their exaggerated eye-contact, nervousness and politeness. I am just a cool guy, really. Just personable to anyone else that's personable. Plus I don't get nervous around the hotter girl. Some of the dudes in my class get all nervous around her, because she wears tight pants and a black leather jacket with spikes.

It's not that I wanna fvck her or anything, I wouldn't want to complicate things in school. But I feel better that I can just be friendly with them, some girls that are somewhat submissive towards me, which is quite a relief to some other places, like the gym for example, where just looking at a girls ass is enough to make her lift her nose up high.

Anyways, I've also recently been reading lots of Mantak Chia, helping me to conserve my sperm and invest the energy into something more constructive. Otherwise I don't think I would have been able to go to the gym just now, after a strenuous schoolday and only 4 hours of sleep.

Next to that, I've been listening some nice tech-house lately. Mainly Boiler Room. I noticed that throughout all those video's on youtube, there are these groupies annoying the **** out of the DJ's, and the DJ's are basically ignoring them as they got to concentrate on their DJing, they get all the pvssy they want already, and they just don't give a fvck about the groupies! It's really a good close look at their Inner Game, if you can read body-language at all. Just look at these video's:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk6Xst6euQk, with the Sideboob chick, for example.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sui24hHDZDI With the blonde at around 50:00.

I had a better video earlier, but I lost it. Chick wanted a high-five at the end of his set and he rejected her because she was in his face the whole set.

Anyways, it's nice to watch these but, I realised that my entire future is on the line right now, and even if it's Kingsday soon here in the Netherlands, I Really can't afford to do much partying at all for the next 2-3 months until I finish school. I know the summer's started, but I really don't give a fvck.

It's actually more impressive to keep drinking and clubbing to a minimum, and actually building a future for yourself, than it is to spend my whole youth partying with nothing to show for it when I'm older: that's what I think.

So I hit the gym again at 10PM. Can't remember the last time I ever hit the gym that late. Starting to get a nice tempo going - hitting the gym as soon as my DOMS wears off and becomes bearable. Just going in there and doing big compound movements of all types, making sure I hit all the muscles with 1 workout.

Somehow I prefer a full-body workout to the bro-split type workout. Does more for my too, I think.

To round things up, let me just say I'm really glad I finally got some IOI's from some chicks in a non-club setting.

I wouldn't call it day-game, as I'm not trying to "game" the chicks, as they're classmates, but it just makes me feel better physiologically, and quite relieved that I'm having that effect on girls again.

I used to have girls throwing themselves at me when I used to hit raves like in those video's, but I don't want to do drugs now, so I don't really hit raves anymore.

I remember crashing a little drugs party a few months ago with 2 idiot friends of mine, which I mentioned in one of my most recent posts, and there were hot chicks all over, they didn't take notice of me. It's just too bad all the hot chicks do drugs nowadays.

 

[badboyjmm]

Not sure if you are still working at night venues, but yeah it definitely takes a toll on you.

You are doing way better than me when it comes to work out. I've been really tired lately and I wasn't even willing to go run or go the gym. I really need to fix this.

You are right about too much partying. I mean I've done it and really I get bored by it. People tend to recognize me way too easy so going to a different venues only to see the same people is pretty much annoying.

Lately, hopefully you can re-do those exams or a side project to get a better grade.

Well keep up the good work.

 

[Chamber36]

thx alot. It ain't easy but I'm gonna go to my moms place for the weekend to study becuse school is really breaking my balls.

And: No, I don't work at night venues anymore.

 

[Chamber36]

Rereading my posts in this journal is always really refreshing. Apparantly I haven't posted here in 2 years minus 1 day.

What a time span. Have I learned much? Who knows.

I get the idea that I shouldn't have to go out as much. It's a bit of a drain eventually. Thinking that it's more important to take a holistic approach to life again.

Must focus on school, gym, day-game, spiritual development, money-game, and most importantly a sense of purpose in life. A goal to which I'm working.

The whole reason I go out so much is also just simply to keep the tongue sharp, eh. In case when you meet a nice chick you'll know what to do. I don't really see it as difficult at all though. What I need more is perhaps some meditation, grooming, rest and working towards my goals. I'll never forget women on the side though.

As long as I keep good care of my body and my mind by going to the gym and going to school and keeping my house clean, my game will always be sharp as my mind will be clear. If my mind is clear and peaceful on the inside, and my body is in good condition, flirting is second nature.

I'm working in the bar again though so I'm forced to flirt. Not a bad thing. Just have to keep the rest of my life on track as well now.

I've been slightly doubtful lately as to complimenting women. They give beta noobs the advice not to pedestalize women or to compliment them too much. But really I'm quite pissed off how that advice is just given to everybody including me. It's an easy way to get a woman to feel good around you. Has nothing to do with manipulation either.

I figure that if I'm looking sharp then the acknowledgement towards a woman that she's looking sharp should really simply just be accepted fully. And if not then maybe the compliment was premature. But all these things can be sensed by the context.

So anyways, the most important lesson for me today which I want to write down is to listen to my inner voice when it comes to flirting techniques or styles. Most important thing in my opinion is to say what comes to mind. If I like a girls hair, glasses, ass, or whatever I prefer to just say it so that I can carry on with my life. Not saying it so that "I don't pedestalize her" is just forcing restrictions upon myself.

Let me be clear I don't go through life praising every person around me, then going home and feeling **** about myself. It's about expressing myself and acknowledgement of another persons attributes.

Alright so that's my entry for today.

Peace out. I'm now going to focus on my mind, body, school and money for the future.