My girlfriend wants to try out salsa

[Guoy Darko]

OK, short story short: This morning my girlfriend tells me she wants to try out salsa lessons with a girlfriend of hers. She says it's maybe a nice new sport for her and asks me if I want to go with them.

Well I don't like salsa and I don't see it as a sport to be honest. Just a very sexual dance between a man and a woman. I really don't want her to go, but I don't want to come over insecure or something.

Well I can go with her. But then I do something that I don't like (yet?)

Anyway what do you guys think we should do?

Background information: we're four years together. We live together for about 1,5 years. Everything is perfect. Really. We are now thinking about buying a house together.

cheers guys.

 

[EastWind]

OK, short story short: This morning my girlfriend tells me she wants to try out salsa lessons with a girlfriend of hers. She says it's maybe a nice new sport for her and asks me if I want to go with them.

Well I don't like salsa and I don't see it as a sport to be honest. Just a very sexual dance between a man and a woman. I really don't want her to go, but I don't want to come over insecure or something.

Well I can go with her. But then I do something that I don't like (yet?)

Anyway what do you guys think we should do?

Background information: we're four years together. We live together for about 1,5 years. Everything is perfect. Really. We are now thinking about buying a house together.

cheers guys.

Uhh dancing is quite the sport. If you're not breaking a sweat you're not doing it right. Obviously that only starts to be true once you know a few moves.

You're rejecting something that you don't even know about based on no evidence at all... go with her and try it out. You'll have fun. If you know how to move your hips, that is.

 

[Zarky]

pain in the ass. Used to know a chick who wanted to go out and dance all the time. I'll dance maybe twice a year when I'm super drunk. I'm pretty decent at it but it's just not something I want to do that often. I went along with it a few times and then I got sick of it and we broke up. 6 months later I heard she was dating a guy she met at a salsa class.

You're rejecting something that you don't even know about based on no evidence at all... go with her and try it out. You'll have fun.

Some guys aren't fags. All the guys I saw dancing were either fruity or foreign. The chick I was going out with was Brazilian. Every godd*mned time we went out she wanted to go dancing. The guy she ended up with (and to this day I think they're still together 3 years later) had a highly manicured pencil mustache and spoke with a heavy mediterranean accent. Total douche.

Here's another thing, if you think dancing ability translates to sexual ability you're far off. This chick was great on the dance floor and had a great body... awful in bed. Awful. Screwed her a couple times and never wanted to again.

 

[Guoy Darko]

I told her I go with them. I started doing lessons for beginners on youtube...

 

[Serg897]

Some guys aren't fags.

You're an idiot, Zarky. Salsa is easy, its fun, and its a great way to meet people (especially women). I've been doing Salsa for about 5 years - as a hobby and something to do socially I love it more than anything.

Just go with them Guoy. If anything its something you can learn and say you've done before. Better to do that than act like a jealous d!ck, and your gf will be less likely to meet other dudes if you are there.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Guo D,
Salsa is really just Rhumba face lifted to a faster beat with a few Rock-N-Roll moves tossed in.....Socially,it is generally conducted at very noisy venues,so crowded no one can really show off the trendy sequences they learn at the Lessons,so people just do the basic moves,gets a bit boring ....Very difficult to have a conversation,it is very fast,hard on knees and ankles,easy to get kicked.....Dance Schools though are a great place to pick up Birds,and attract a lot of predators,so best go with her,even if you just sit there and chat up the wall flowers.....If she loses interest when you let her know you are tagging along,then you will know she has an agenda.

 

[Scaramouche]

Double post.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Zarky,
"if you think dancing ability translates to sexual ability you're far off",Sorry to hear that was your experience....I always say that if a Lady is a good Dancer,then she will also be good in bed....Dancers have a lot going for them,in general they are fun loving,fit and endowed with a sense of rhythm,that's a good start in the love making business....So Zarky,I think you should let your ferret out for another trot,one Swallow doesn't make a Summer.

 

[Die Hard]

Taking lessons is one thing but if she starts going to social dancing parties (which is pretty likely), I'd say you're in trouble. The social dancing scene is a meat market, it's infested with slick motherfvckers trying to seduce chicks (like me ). Her determination to be exclusive with you will surely be tested...

All this says nothing about her intentions. Most likely, she really just wants to try out lesons for fun, that's all. But although she might not realize this herself yet, one thing will lead to another...her classmates will ask her to come practise at social dancing (you won't really improve by just taking lessons, practice on the real dancefloor is needed to improve). Just for fun, you know! However, slowly but surely, she might discover the wonderful world of social dancing, where everybody can be intimate and flirty with each other under the disguise of a dance... Then some slick dancer comes along and makes her do moves she never thought she was capable of, he's so good she doesn't have to consciously move her body, he just makes her do amazing things coz he has such a great lead. It's like he puts her on a rollercoaster cart, she just has to sit back and let him take her on a wonderful journey...all the while, he looks her deep in the eyes and totally swoops her off her feet. It wasn't a simple dance...it was a mesmerizing experience and once it's finished, her body is loaded with hormones, feelings of excitement and passion. Sure, she has a boyfriend at home (you) and she's got something really good going on with him but....everything is just so new and exciting about the guy dancing with her!

The guy knows the effect he has put on her, he has done it with plenty other girls. Later on, as he walks up to her to ask her for another dance, he know she can't refuse... She knows it too... "This guy is trying to seduce me, I really shouldn't dance with him again... But it was so great! And after all, we're just dancing, nothing else will happen?"

Perhaps you know your girl to be better than this and you're secure that she values you more than enough to keep herself out of temptation's way. All I'm saying is: BEWARE, my friend... The world of social dancing is not one you'd like your girlfriend to be a part of, if you can help it...

 

[Inquisitus]

Learn to dance well and dance with the best female dancers. They're usually hot because they have to perform.

You can use this to your advantage.

 

[ilikecharlene]

OK, short story short: This morning my girlfriend tells me she wants to try out salsa lessons with a girlfriend of hers. She says it's maybe a nice new sport for her and asks me if I want to go with them.

Well I don't like salsa and I don't see it as a sport to be honest. Just a very sexual dance between a man and a woman. I really don't want her to go, but I don't want to come over insecure or something.

Well I can go with her. But then I do something that I don't like (yet?)

Anyway what do you guys think we should do?

Background information: we're four years together. We live together for about 1,5 years. Everything is perfect. Really. We are now thinking about buying a house together.

cheers guys.

Let her go? Why are you being so insecure?

 

[Wilko]

Tried some ballroom and latin several years ago with a girlfriend, I went in completely open-minded to give it an honest go. I didn't enjoy it and wouldn't voluntarily do it again.

You will encounter some pretty militant advocacy from the dance guys on the forum; just like you do from the gym guys and the entrepreneurs. In fact, the entire DJ agenda could practically be summarised as; acquire currency, hit the gym, and learn to dance. Yeah, screw your tastes and preferences, we're building a clone army over here.

That was satire, just so we're clear.

So, passing criticism about one-eyed interest groups aside, this is leading into a broader point, which is: I choose not to do things I don't enjoy, and I gladly accept the consequences of those choices. I have to warn you though, exercising your free will is kind of addictive.

I struggle to understand the mind-set of someone (usually a woman) who is happy to guilt/coerce someone else into doing something they know that person will not enjoy. I couldn't enjoy myself knowing that I was making someone suffer for no good reason.

 

[Nutz]

OK, short story short: This morning my girlfriend tells me she wants to try out salsa lessons with a girlfriend of hers. She says it's maybe a nice new sport for her and asks me if I want to go with them.

Well I don't like salsa and I don't see it as a sport to be honest. Just a very sexual dance between a man and a woman. I really don't want her to go, but I don't want to come over insecure or something.

She did you a solid and asked you to join in. You don't have to actually partake, but you can go to encourage her and "verify" nothing untoward happens. Ideally she gets to have fun, you're there to share in the fun by association, and you can keep tabs on the men in attendance and how they interact with her.

Dance Schools though are a great place to pick up Birds,and attract a lot of predators,so best go with her,even if you just sit there and chat up the wall flowers.....If she loses interest when you let her know you are tagging along,then you will know she has an agenda.

Yes, this exactly. Go with her and have fun socializing with the wallflowers. Keeping a watchful eye on her social interactions and how physical she gets with other dance partners is key.




If you haven't done so yet OP, read this: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1891422

 

[the_stig]

I'm sure your girlfriend has no malicious intentions, but I think it's worth mentioning that in my experience, whenever a LTR was losing interest, about to branch swing, cheat, etc, that it was almost uncanny how she would suddenly start partaking in new activities where male attention was likely to be more prevalent.

I wouldn't lose any sleep at this point, but whenever a girlfriend breaks habit and starts doing single-ish type stuff, no matter how innocent it may seem, it's always an instant red flag in my eyes.

 

[Guoy Darko]

Okay guys, thanks for all the responses. I went with her and her friend. Here’s what happened.

Like I said, I did some lessons for beginners on youtube when she was not at home. When we went there (it was a lesson for people who have never danced before) I was a bit prepared. We saw a different class dancing before our group began. She told me it didn’t look that much fun as she thought it would be and asked me and her friend if we could sneak out. Her friend wanted to stay so we stayed because it was rude to her.

After practicing solo in the beginning we started pairing up. Me and my girlfriend danced together. The dance instructor said about 10 times to “switch partners”. My girlfriend said she didn’t want to switch and wanted to keep dancing with me. So we danced together throughout the course. It was fun and laughed our asses off at how bad we were. We both decided not to continue the course (the first lesson was free).

So that’s it. Thanks for all the feedback!

 

[women haze]

Guoy you found a good one! Keep her

 

[Atom Smasher]

I agree with women haze.

On another note, I have a hard time understanding how you younger 'uns view your woman dancing with other men, like it's no big deal.

What exactly is dancing? It is mostly an artistic simulated seduction and often simulated sex. I don't think it's as harmless as some of you believe it is.

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

I agree with women haze.

On another note, I have a hard time understanding how you younger 'uns view your woman dancing with other men, like it's no big deal.

What exactly is dancing? It is mostly an artistic simulated seduction and often simulated sex. I don't think it's as harmless as some of you believe it is.

Im late 20s me and my friends are against it. If I had a girl want to go dance in a club with another guy I'd dump her. Dancing to hip hop or salsa,etc. Disgusting thing is, I've met girls who danced with me or wanted to dance with me that mentioned how their ex boyfriend was so insecure about them dancing with other guys. For the right reasons, I've had tons of girls grab my crotch dancing or sometimes just standing there.I dont blame the ex. I blame the chick. Huge red flag. Some women...disgusting creatures.

 

[Serg897]

Several months ago I picked up a girl salsa dancing and fvcked her on the first date. That night she told me that she had just broken up with her boyfriend because he was "too jealous".

That should have set off red flags in my mind - instead I ended up getting infatuated. Stupid me.

I guess the point is we shouldnt be too insecure about women dancing with other guys, especially if we are dancing with other women and dancing is a hobby. However there is a line that can definitely be crossed.

 

[Jitterbug]

I'm a dancer, it's a huge passion of mine.

A single girl going to dancing may not hook up with anyone, nor does a girl who goes with her BF/hubby. However I haven't seen any taken girl (LTR or married) going to dancing without her man who hasn't cheated or at least broken up with him.

Don't get insecure about your girl dancing with other guys, but if you are never there, watch out. You'll find out that slowly but surely, she will spend quality couple time at dancing (like weekend nights at major social dance events) and not with you. Those are the first steps for her to emotionally disengage from you. Add to the mix two things:

- Dancing is "a vertical expression of horizontal desires legalised by music".
- There are always some smooth mofos (Don Juans) at dance events

You know it will be inevitable if your girl is at all attractive.