My girlfriend chose Facebook over me.

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Me and my girlfriend got in a huge argument because I have a problem with her being on facebook. We've argued over this on numerous occasions but today was the day I put my foot down.

BTW me and my girlfriend have been going out for 2 years now. We live together and go to the same college (This is the last semester until we go to seperate universities to try a LDR for a couple months).

A couple months ago (December), me and my girlfriend decided that we were going to delete our facebooks together because multiple times in the relationship I have gotten upset at things that were on her facebook and once she got mad at me for something because of another girl posting on my wall.

After this discussion she says she will delete it soon....... I then delete my facebook later on in the week and she still hasn't deleted it. A couple days later we get into an argument about it then then I finally give in and say she can keep it for some dumb reason.

Weeks later we get into another argument over facebook and I tell her the discomfort I'm having over her being on facebook. She still refuses to deactivate it and say that it's pointless to deactivate it because she doesn't see a problem.

Then today I finally decided to put my footdown on it because I don't like the fact that she still goes on facebook even though she knows that I am very uncomfortable with it and I also think that by not having int will help our relationship. She then says she's not deleting it. So I tell her that I'd rather find a girl who is interested in how I feel about things. Then she just said ok.

She says that she has tryed to improve for me because she doesn't get on facebook when I am not around. She says that if it is out of sight it is out of mind.

After hours of argument we came up to the compromise that she would deactivate her account until May. I find this real funny how I feel like at the end of the day she will get everything she want. When it comes to small things and when it comes to big things. In the argument she told me "My problems are my problems, I will fix them by myself and I don't need you to help me fix them". I am thinking to myself that I don't think any girl in any relationship would think like that. Only a man with a lot of pride.

EDIT:In the argument she also said that I was not the person she fell in love with. The person she fell in love with was the person who was out all the time trying to be social. and now I'm not that person. I really do not want a friend unless it benefits me somehow because naturally I really do just like to be alone. I'm more focused on school work and getting business accomplished rather then smoking weed and hanging with guys most of the day.

 

[JustWuzzle]

Me and my girlfriend got in a huge argument because I have a problem with her being on facebook. We've argued over this on numerous occasions but today was the day I put my foot down.

BTW me and my girlfriend have been going out for 2 years now. We live together and go to the same college (This is the last semester until we go to seperate universities to try a LDR for a couple months).

A couple months ago (December), me and my girlfriend decided that we were going to delete our facebooks together because multiple times in the relationship I have gotten upset at things that were on her facebook and once she got mad at me for something.

After this discussion she says she will delete it soon....... I then delete my facebook later on in the week and she still hasn't deleted it. A couple days later we get into an argument about it then then I finally give in and say she can keep it for some dumb reason.

Weeks later we get into another argument over facebook and I tell her the discomfort I'm having over her being on facebook. She still refuses to deactivate it and say that it's pointless to deactivate it because she doesn't see a problem.

Then today I finally decided to put my footdown on it because I don't like the fact that she still goes on facebook even though she knows that I am very uncomfortable with it and I also think that by not having int will help our relationship. She then says she's not deleting it. So I tell her that I'd rather find a girl who is interested in how I feel about things. Then she just said ok.

She says that she has tryed to improve for me because she doesn't get on facebook when I am not around. She says that if it is out of sight it is out of mind.

After hours of argument we came up to the compromise that she would deactivate her account until May. I find this real funny how I feel like at the end of the day she will get everything she want. When it comes to small things and when it comes to big things. In the argument she told me "My problems are my problems, I will fix them by myself and I don't need you to help me fix them". I am thinking to myself that I don't think any girl in any relationship would think like that. Only a man with a lot of pride.

Wow you sound like me. I use to get mad at the things my ex would say about me on facebook. I suggest you do something for yourself that is harmless and she wouldn't like but that makes you happy. Don't show your insecurities over her getting on facebook. Tell her keep her facebook let her know it doesn't bother you.

Heres a story I went over to my ex's apartment to see my son. I come home she calls me and tells me that an neighbor saw me at her apartment. My nick name is wuzzle and he said "fvckin wuzzle". Long story short I told her I don't give an fvck. Any "man" that has a face book an stays posted on it needs a life. I suggest you get one outside of her and face book

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Yea, I understand that's what I should do. But at the same time I'm thinking if she really really loved me wouldn't she be able to do this without thinking I am trying to "control" her?

 

[Packers2010]

Facebook goes together like girls and shoes. you can;t explain it. but you know it;s an obsesstion.

girls like whoring themselves out on Facebook. it's where they can get most of there attention fix from.

so just live with it. if you don't like what the girl is saying about you. just report it.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

If you read my post I clearly said that I Deactivated my FB account and for me it is one of the most productive things I havd ever done in my life.

 

[powpow]

maaaaaaaan

who makes their girl delete their facebook? is it me or is that kind of paranoid, possessive, a lot of other negative words?

but yeah I get what youre saying.

1- its annoying when youre trying to chill with your girl and shes on facebook android or whatever

2- kind of annoying seeing other guys try to run game on your girl in a public space, facebook

BUT

you gotta use facebook to your advantage. you cant fight facebook. it is a juggernaut. use facebook to build social proof. use facebook to gain insight on your prospective wife (I assume youre serious after 2 years and moving in together) and her feelings. if shes whoring herself on facebook, openly flirting with other men, she doesnt have respect for you, and you should ditch her (its a hard decision to make, especially if youre moved in together) but its totally right for your future.

all the best

 

[JustWuzzle]

Yea, I understand that's what I should do. But at the same time I'm thinking if she really really loved me wouldn't she be able to do this without thinking I am trying to "control" her?

I'm going to tell you something you may not like to hear she loves her self more then she loves you. You need to do the same, love does not exist. You sound so controlling listen to yourself "If she loves me blah blah blah". Hell if you loved her really loved her you would leave her be with the facebook give her her space trust me. Good for you for deactiving your profile but don't go holding that over anybody's head especially your women's

 

[LoneWolf]

yeah, you can't stop a girl using facebook. it's like video games for guys. i sure as hell wouldnt stop playing games if my gf asked me to! girls love facebook man, let her be. if she shows you enough love what more do you want? if shes not paying attention to you at all or hangin out with you then ditch her!

 

[iliketennis]

you should not force your girlfriend to delete facebook. even if it isn't your intention, it makes you look possessive, controlling, and a little psycho. like she doesn't need any social interaction other than with you.

also, not having friends because you are busy with school is awful.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Well I guess the reason of my insecurity was that almost a year ago she cheated on me. She also did some very messed up things (Such as choosing her own friends over me). Things have changed drastically since especially since we moved in together.(I really never manned up. I basically just begged her to stop doing that messed up stuff and then over time she stopped) Now, we basically both don't really have friends that we hang out at the University. I guess this is my problem.

I've even tryed therapy but somehow what happened over a year ago always comes up to my mind for some reason.

But I do understand that I am pushing it. However, you would think that your "future wife" will make that sacrifice if it meant so much to someone.

 

[bish0p]

Well I guess the reason of my insecurity was that almost a year ago she cheated on me. She also did some very messed up things (Such as choosing her own friends over me). Things have changed drastically since especially since we moved in together.(I really never manned up. I basically just begged her to stop doing that messed up stuff and then over time she stopped) Now, we basically both don't really have friends that we hang out at the University. I guess this is my problem.

I've even tryed therapy but somehow what happened over a year ago always comes up to my mind for some reason.

But I do understand that I am pushing it. However, you would think that your "future wife" will make that sacrifice if it meant so much to someone.

Wow, man...there are a lot of red flags in here. You sure you want to marry this girl?

 

[powpow]

SO MANY RED FLAGS!!!!

bro, come on. is this your first girlfriend? you live in a town where this is the only girl in your age bracket?

ghaaaaa

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I'm really not sure at this point. I don't want to break up with her over something that happened a year ago but at the same time I would love to see her doing her thing with other friends without me worrying about what she is doing or who she is texting or what not.

I just want to fix myself now so I could be how I was before this mess popped up last year.

 

[KarmaSutra]

If you have to throw down ultimatums to a b!tch, it means you're the b!tch.

 

[Tiguere]

Seems like you you have so much unspoken resentment towards het for the emotional trauma she caused by cheating on you.

You need time on your own man.

 

[Bible_Belt]

This is the last semester until we go to seperate universities to try a LDR for a couple months

You were going to break up anyway.

 

[TheManOfSteel]

You should have kicked her to the curb when she cheated on you. It sounds like she is the man in this relationship, no offense man. I say get rid of her. You're in college too, I'm sure there is no shortage of other available females out there.

 

[Strelok]

Such a mess guys,is it only me to miss the 90s with no cellphones,facebook and other numerous female gadgets?

(yeah yeah I know some use it for work,yet 90% of cells and fb are for AWring).

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Well I guess the reason of my insecurity was that almost a year ago she cheated on me. She also did some very messed up things (Such as choosing her own friends over me). Things have changed drastically since especially since we moved in together.(I really never manned up. I basically just begged her to stop doing that messed up stuff and then over time she stopped) Now, we basically both don't really have friends that we hang out at the University. I guess this is my problem.

I've even tryed therapy but somehow what happened over a year ago always comes up to my mind for some reason.

But I do understand that I am pushing it. However, you would think that your "future wife" will make that sacrifice if it meant so much to someone.

Your partner is trash, and you're too weak and insecure to walk away. Trailer parks and ghettos are full of stories like yours.

Sorry to be harsh. But I wanted to cut through the clutter.

You want to be on the path a successful, rewarding life? Learn to place some value on yourself. Cut ties with people who are dragging you down. Your girlfriend does something that displeases you? Break up. You're like f**king 12 years old. Why do you feel a need to keep a relationship with a girl who sucks? You doing it for the kids? You doing it to pay the mortgage?

Oh right. You don't have kids. And you don't have a mortgage. So again, why would you stay with someone like this? Especially considering how young you are.

For love? Yeah that's great, boss. I had a "love" when I was your age too. Newsflash: you get over it.

Summary: Grow up. Be a man. Learn to let go. This chick is Trashville.

 

[PDubb75]

I've posted in multiple threads about Facebook lately, saying how I disagree with people deleting their Facebook accounts for reasons other than "I really want to".

However, the more I read some of this stuff, the more I realize how much this thing is affecting some of your lives. I guess I was wrong to assume that my way of using Facebook (once in a while to keep in touch, share events, etc) was how most people do. I'm shocked how reliant people seem to be. Making g/f's choose you or FB? Using to the point you don't go out anymore? Some of these threads are insane!

OP.. my question for you. Was it simply her postings that made you want her to delete it? Or were the opinions on this forum swaying you? If the latter is the case, think about it from her side. I'm guessing she doesn't know you come on here, so all shes thinking is: completely randomly, her b/f who had been using Facebook all of the sudden deletes his and basically demands she do the same. Then you give in and tell her she can keep it. Then you get in a fight that she still has it? She's not choosing Facebook over you. Shes choosing doing what she wants, over your "random" demands.

If you care about my personal opinions, drop the Facebook account arguments. However, I'm not saying you should let her walk all over you. I would still call her out on specific posts that piss you off, but don't force her to make drastic life changes (as it seems) because of a couple posts that bugged you.