My girl loves me but left me because shes been hurt

[TESV]

Originally posted by backbreaker
you don't have to sleep with someone to cheat on them... keep that in mind.


Why are you defending her anyway? Move on.

Here we go...

 

[backbreaker]

TESV, lol, you come here, looking for advice from people who have beena round the block, and know what they are talking about, and when you get it, you pick and choose what you want to here.

I personally told you that look, even if you COULD get her back, you don't need to... she has issues, and besides that, I wouldn't be suprised if she was cheating on you...

frivolousz21 has been around the block a few times, and he tells you look, the woman makes no sesne, move on.

And you wait and wait until someone who agrees with you, who hasn't been here long enough to have the experience that some of the older members have, and you agree with them..

Well, if you were just looking for validation and not advice, why not go to GP.com?

 

[fender85]

Does GP.com even exist anymore?

 

[tmpgstx]

funny that i know for a FACT there is no other guy. My friend is also her close friend and NEIGHBOR and swears i am the only guy. I also communicate with most of her friends and this is not the case.

I know you want to believe that. Her friends may be protecting her. If there was another guy she was hooking up with, it sure wouldn't be in broad daylight or even at her place. It's usually at his place!

I hate to break it to you dawg, but get ready for some pain. It's tough i know, have been there and what you describe is verbatim to what i'm telling you about she's getting ready to end it, but trying to do it in a 'nice' ambigious way.

 

[backbreaker]

you know what... I don't think it does.... but everyone still knows what it was and what it stood for

 

[TESV]

Originally posted by tmpgstx
I know you want to believe that. Her friends may be protecting her. If there was another guy she was hooking up with, it sure wouldn't be in broad daylight or even at her place. It's usually at his place!

I hate to break it to you dawg, but get ready for some pain. It's tough i know, have been there and what you describe is verbatim to what i'm telling you about she's getting ready to end it, but trying to do it in a 'nice' ambigious way.

End it? are u kidding me SHE ENDED IT 3 MONTHS AGO now for the first time in months she is inquiring about me and for the record the people who are reporting to me about her are MY friends who became friendly with her after we started seeing each other. Dont worry I know where the loyalty is and i know this cause at times they told me things i didnt want to hear, but by no means do they have any reason to lie to me. As for picking and choosing which comments i am replying too that is my choice. It doesnt necessarily mean i agree or disagree with them and i appreciate the time and effort everyone put in for me. I just think some of you are very blundt and unnecessarily negative about the situation and all i asked for is your thoughts SO STOP TRYING TO BATTLE ME my intent was to get a collaboration of answers whether positive or negative. As for the hurt that i have endured, well I can honestly say i have no more tears and the pain has changed me as a man. They say you live and learn and in the process you grow wiser and stronger. Hopefully this is the case whether or not things work out for better or for worse atleast i'll learn a little more about myself and the life i live.

 

[backbreaker]

well, we are being negative, because there really isn't anything positive about the situtation...

Why are you having your friends inquire about a girl that broke up with you... This isn't Jr HIgh.. your a grown ass man.

I mean, we don't hate you, but we are just trying to get it through to you to move on...

Ovbiously you care for her... that's not the problem, you are supposed to care for someone you are with for an extended amount of time...

However, you have to have the balls to be uncomfortable in life and in this situation, to just move on..

It's hard, but it has to be done. Forget about her...

I mean the post says it all... "my girl loves me but left me because shes been hurt"


Well, if she loved you, she wouldn't have left you...

Most people don't know what love is.. I am smart enough to know I have never been in love with a girl.. I have been in like with a girl, I have cared about women... but for me to love a woman, I have to be willing to lay down my life, and I haven't met a woman that would perswade me to do that... I'll do it for my little sister and my little brothers... that's about it.

 

[Bonhomme]

"You're too good for me" is ******** for "I love you as a person, but you just don't turn me on enough to be sexually involved with you." She's not into you that way, but wants to let you down as gently as possible.

Read the Bible. Listen to the "old timers" here. Learn, improve, and move on to better things.

No more to add to this thread... 10-4.

 

[Gonzalo]

Right now our boy is in denial. You are new here, so the logical advice (ie move on) is not even a possibility for you right now.

Take our word for it. It's better to move on. Look, this is a site full of really neat info (read: DJ Bible, Doc Love) that will help you become more attractive to females and, alas, allow you to catch a girl *who will want to be with you*. GOD, who dumped you, J.Lo?!

When you can accept it's lost cause and want to move on, we can all give pointers on where to start.


And to all the guys telling him to basically go get her: WTF?

 

[Gravyboat]

I was in an eerily similar situation--at exactly your age--with a girl whose father committed suicide when she was 14.

I dated her on and off throughout college. She was sweet, very attractive, and the sex was fantastic. For the first six months or so, during the 'puppy love' phase, things were great. Then things started to get weird.

She'd get SUDDENLY distant...then extra clingy. And back and forth. Every six months, she'd break up with me--then come back--then six months later, break up with me again--then come back again. But it never seemed malicious--she just always seemed "confused" or "scared." So of course, we'd talk about it, and she'd want to get back together.

Throughout the ordeal, she fed me lines like this:

"I don't want to get hurt."
"Just run from me. I'm not good in relationships."
"I have doubts about us."

The reason I let it drag on so long is because she always made it seem like she really, truly wanted to be together, but she was afraid of getting 'too close' to a guy. Needless to say, I assumed it was because of what happened with her father.

And while there may be some grain of truth to that, the bottom line is this: If you honestly have feelings for someone, you stay with them. It defies not only logic, but also EMOTION to reject something or someone you truly love. And since men are prone to logic, and women are bound to their emotions, it doesn't make sense for either gender to behave this way when it comes to relationships.

I finally came to realize that the real answer was simple--her feelings for me had changed, and she felt guilty about it. That's all it was. She didn't WANT to hurt me, so she struggled internally with what to do. She justified her wanting to break up by suggesting she "just wasn't good at relationships." She didn't want to be the bad guy.

And when I look back at everything I've learned in the past couple of years regarding women, I know without a shadow of a doubt that my behavior--supplication and a lack of 'leading the way,' among other things--was what gradually lowered her attraction to me. It wasn't her father.

That said, I'd still avoid ANY woman with father issues, but that's probably another discussion for another time.

 

[TESV]

Ok then REACTIVATED!!!!!SHES BACK!!!!!!!!!

Anyway i wanted to give it a few weeks before posting but my chick is back. She is however playing with my head a bit and pretending that she doesnt care by giving a few days in between contact, but im not biting. FYI we have had the most amazing sex (around 10-15 times in the last 3 weeks) and she admitted to me she has only been with me since the breakup which i know is true as we have most mutual friends and live in a small town...shes been depressed and although i feel for her as a person i cant excuse how she crushed my heart. There was never an ex boyfriend or someone else she swears and i kow for a fact her ex moved away yadayada just telling you all. For all that said it was impossible...i am now clean and sober...feeling great and met a new girl. Now i dont know about getting back together as i wanna search the playing fields...she wants to take it slow...at least the relationship....the sex is much better on demand LOL and ill just have fun for now.

 

[The Juan and only]

TESV. Wake up would you.

That is ******** and that is bullsh1t.

I've seen women spend 10 years of their life with a physically abusive man because they love him. I've seen women denounce their own families to run off with a lover, I've seen women ignore the advice of their best friends and relatives to follow thier emotions.

If a woman ever tells you she loves you, BUT....then the rest of that sentence is a lie.

Doesnt want to be with you = NOT ATTRACTED ENOUGH. simple as.

 

[The Juan and only]

oh she came back did she? I guess her "other option" didn't work out for her

-- those badboys ay...just cant predict them.

 

[TESV]

lol

haha grow up you ****ing brit...NEXT!

oh she came back did she? I guess her "other option" didn't work out for her

-- those badboys ay...just cant predict them.

 

[The Juan and only]

haha grow up you ****ing brit...NEXT!

well you're the only one swearing here. I make a good argument and you come back with an irrelevant insult. what a shock.

and I wouldn't have to be so condecending, if you weren't being so blind. I think you're the one who needs to grow up here buddy. you're deluded.

 

[penkitten]

so you decided to give her another chance.
you need to set a rule this time, its all or nothing.

how can there be a relationship if she isnt giving her all?

waiting days in between calling you is showing that she is still not ready for a relationship.

set the ground rule. if shes ready, you will see it and if she is not ready then you will see that too.

dont let it go on a long time if you notice she isnt ready because thats only going to make it more painful to you.

 

[TESV]

Penkitten

Now this is some excellent advice....
I propose the following...
(1) dont call and when she does next (assuming she does at all) since she went to florida with some friends (whom i dont like) and she im sure assumed that i would be mad (even though i never showed it to her i am) basically brush her off and become busy.
(2) keep my life going steady and realize (like you said) its all or nothing.

I sincerely thank you for the advice...im in a tough time in my life...with tough decisions about a woman whom i love dearly and i believe deep down inside she does as well i just dont wanna get hurt. This has taken the life out of me and for once im getting a peice of her but i still dont have the full attention of a woman who i deserve the world from. i love her but she needs to miss me and realize what lifes like without me before she realizes that im the one.

so you decided to give her another chance.
you need to set a rule this time, its all or nothing.

how can there be a relationship if she isnt giving her all?

waiting days in between calling you is showing that she is still not ready for a relationship.

set the ground rule. if shes ready, you will see it and if she is not ready then you will see that too.

dont let it go on a long time if you notice she isnt ready because thats only going to make it more painful to you.

 

[The Juan and only]

i love her but she needs to miss me and realize what lifes like without me before she realizes that im the one.

I hope for your sake you're right. But I've heard things like that too many times before. At least be prepared to except that it's possible she's trying to get out of the relationship but doesn't want to hurt you -- I mean you knew something was very wrong, else you wouldn't have come here looking for advice.

p.s I also don't like the use of "the one". You'd think such hollywood mindsets with the possibly of perfect love would make people happy. but they don't. they don't because it doesn't work.
-- I for one am glad that i'll never think that way again. I feel more healthy, and more in control. Read up on the bible, dude.

 

[TESV]

r

I hope for your sake you're right. But I've heard things like that too many times before. At least be prepared to except that it's possible she's trying to get out of the relationship but doesn't want to hurt you -- I mean you knew something was very wrong, else you wouldn't have come here looking for advice.

p.s I also don't like the use of "the one". You'd think such hollywood mindsets with the possibly of perfect love would make people happy. but they don't. they don't because it doesn't work.
-- I for one am glad that i'll never think that way again. I feel more healthy, and more in control. Read up on the bible, dude.

Bro...look at the date on the earlier posts my ex and i have been broken up for quite some time now. I said 3-4 weeks ago SHE initiated contact with me and couldnt keep her hands off me when she came over to my house to supposidly pick up a mysterious shirt that she never found...HMMMM nice excuse to come **** my brains out and see her love. I havent put anything else into the relationship and i shouldnt even be calling it that as its simply my ex coming hafter me as she misses me adn regrets ending something as special as what we had was otherwise why would she even bother calling a guy whom when she left me told me i wass beneath her and she was disgusted that we ever met. This is the truth and my heart has been broken but in time things hopefully will work out for the best. She is so special to me I feel as though she deserves to be categorized as the ONE. I dont claim to be a player...have no intention of dirtying up my **** with disgusting *****s but if youd like me to show you my collection of 20+ gorgeous females (of all different backgrounds cultures etc) and this changes the negative way you look down upon me then so be it. However at 18 years old (and a child in my eyes)and i may add i dont care where the **** you are from, how smart you think you are, or whatever DJ SKILLS you THINK you POSSESS, there;s a certain feeling i get as i glance at your 18 years on this planet walking down the aisle glancing at the tail running after you as you received your high school diploma. Graduation day and that time in life when we thought our boat was the ONLY ONE that floated and nothing could sink the **** in our ship. In my time brother ive met some of the most extroadinary women in my travels (even in my Northern Italian and Colombian visits) to know that when your heart, mindy, body, and soul interlocks together in a unique way that only YOU can confirm, then and only then will YOUR EXPERIENCE, WISDOM, KNOWLEDGE, AND most importantly the OUTSTANDING COMMITMENT OF LOVE will be your only reassurance that the woman whom you question as THE ONE will mean so much to you that you will do whatever it takes to spend the rest of your existance on this planet as her husband. She is the one i love and my ONE and I will prevent myself from getting hurt in whatever way possible but wont accept rejection until she and i can honestly say that weve tried and failed and their will never be again. This is far from the case and i believe things will work out in our favor but all in due time while we excercise patience.

 

[The Juan and only]

In my time brother ive met some of the most extroadinary women in my travels (even in my Northern Italian and Colombian visits) to know that when your heart, mindy, body, and soul interlocks together in a unique way that only YOU can confirm, then and only then will YOUR EXPERIENCE, WISDOM, KNOWLEDGE, AND most importantly the OUTSTANDING COMMITMENT OF LOVE will be your only reassurance that the woman whom you question as THE ONE will mean so much to you that you will do whatever it takes to spend the rest of your existance on this planet as her husband.

Everyone's been through phases where they thought exactly what you just said. That's how people in love think.

But you know what, everytime I've been convinced this girl is the only one for me and spent many sleepless nights thinking about her or missing her between meetings -- I go out and connect with another woman, perhaps a more attractive one, and suddenly all those feelings of "oneitis" are severely diminished (more and more so the longer you stay away from your "lover"). I know then, that there are in fact many suitable women out there who I'd be just as happy with.

IMO, monogamous ideals are a temporary state of mind, especially if you allow them to be.

But you're right about one thing, I am pretty young and I don't have your experiences, although that alone doesn't automatically make me wrong.

p.s Good luck with the relationship. If everything is smooth again then I'm glad, just stay on the ball man.