My girl loves me but left me because shes been hurt

[TESV]

by so many men in her life. she has lost her father and brother and been mistreated by many men in her life. This was seriously the best relationship we both (admittedly) have had in our time and i could see marrying her if she ever worked on getting back together. Her main problem is that as soon as she starts to like a guy she backs off and walks away. It has been two months and she admitted to a friend that she still loves me but doesnt want to get hurt anymore (even though everything was perfect when we dated). Can someone give some advice as to getting her back? What can i do to persuade this girl? I understand if i didnt think i was gonna marry her to move on but this one is trul the girl of my dreams,
THanks,
Joe

 

[backbreaker]

Let me explain something to you...


If you went to the Ferrari Dealership, they gave you a new, 2005 360 Spyder, ,Candy Apple Red, no miles on it, and told you to "take it, it's on the house"

would you take it back because it's "tood good of a car"



Never listen to what a girl says, look at what she does.


You way you sound, it sounds like you were just to AFC for her.

Now, ,as in PERFECT she may men a guy who won't cheat on her,a guy who isn't going anywhere, a guy that will do anything for her...

However, ,that doesn't necessarly mean a perfect relationship..

A perfect relationship.. no such thing, but the idea one is, one where the guy is in control of the relationship, where both people ADD to each others lives on a constant basis, where two people compliment each other, and of course, great sex.

Who are you to tell her, or us what her main problems is... That's probably why she isn't with you now, you aren't her damn shrink, you are her MAN.

No Woman on Earth just purposly walked up to men, starts to like them and then walks away..

Even if she DID, why are you trying to get her back? If that is the case, she isn't for you.

Your post reeks of AFCdomness and... my new favorate word... captiansaveahoery..

Please, for the love of god, read the DJ Bible

 

[tmpgstx]

Hey Joe, how did you hurt her? It doesn't sound good and like she has some major phychological and/or insecuritie issues stemming from past relationships. It will be next to impossible to get this one to fly - the best way is that you both attend counciling together. It will keep her more on the straight and narrow and at the same time be supportive but don't put up with BS. Let her come back to you. If you chase her now, will drive her further away.

 

[Evangenlion]

if your were good for her, she would still be with you.
if u want her, you have to convince her your not like the rest of the men she dated.

i don't see why you two can not be together, its up to you to make it work now.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Bro, you've been dumped, why you wanna go back? That's like getting fired from work and then you calling constantly or sending emails to get your old job back. What do normal laid off people do? They look for a new job.

 

[Deadly_Assassin]

A perfect relationship.. no such thing, but the idea one is, one where the guy is in control of the relationship, where both people ADD to each others lives on a constant basis, where two people compliment each other, and of course, great sex.

This is golden.

Seriously backbecker, you should write up a post on this.

TESV, dude how did u hurt her?

Dont blame yourself over and over again. You are feeling guilty that you hurt her and thats why you want her back or you cant get over her.

Bro, you've been dumped, why you wanna go back? That's like getting fired from work and then you calling constantly or sending emails to get your old job back. What do normal laid off people do? They look for a new job

 

[TESV]

FYI

I NEVER hurt her, I haven't called or stalked her, and i know from friends that she still loves me. She just backed off cause she knew she was starting to love me and she didnt want to get HURT AGAIN (from past relationships not from me ever). To those that call me a sucker, or whatever read the facts and know that I am being normal and honest about the girl, and the subject. I wish it was that easy to throw the memories out the door and move on (even though i have seen a few girls since its just not the same). Im just trying to get some HELPFUL FRIENDLY advice from people who have been there so if you dont have anything nice to say then comment on someone elses post.

 

[TESV]

Originally posted by Evangenlion
if your were good for her, she would still be with you.
if u want her, you have to convince her your not like the rest of the men she dated.

i don't see why you two can not be together, its up to you to make it work now.

Bro,
I was actually too good for her (she told her friends). She is from a family who doesnt have much financially and I am from one that is the complete opposite. She has said that she's never met someone like me and probably never will but for some reason she is scared of commitment. I will try to make it work but i wont be stepped on and or become someones *****. Only time will tell how the clock ticks...

 

[TESV]

Originally posted by DonJuanMonk
Bro, you've been dumped, why you wanna go back? That's like getting fired from work and then you calling constantly or sending emails to get your old job back. What do normal laid off people do? They look for a new job.

I have brother, but if you knew this girl you'd be hunting for her day and night. Many have tried, few have succeeded, all have been thrown away at some point. Let's see if i can conquer it, if not in time it'll fade and i'll move on.

 

[rebirth]

You're too good for me = You aren't good enough for me

see a paradox?

 

[sikpupy]

Do you love her? If you do, Just go up to her and ask her "Do you love me?". If "she" says yes, then just stright out tell her "good, no if ands or buts, were getting back together so stop your crazy sheat cause I am starting to fall for you too, AND, you know we have a good thing going here, I am not gonna let you drop it like that.", give give her a big kiss. If she pushes you away, just say "fine, I want someone in my life forever, if your not it later", then seariously walk, but, let her know your taking charge either way before.

 

[frivolousz21]

that just cant be right.


no one starts falling in love and runs away this isnt a movie.

if she was hurt so bad...and she was truely falling in love and u were good to her..it would be a blessing to her..and she would be like a leach on u

 

[penkitten]

well it could be as simple as this : she isnt ready to be in love yet.

think about it like this, if you had been hurt over and over and finally met someone who wouldnt hurt you, why would you walk away from them?

also look at this point: when you fall in love , you forget all the snotheads that hurt you in the past. the feelings of hurt fade away and you get wrapped up in love and feeling good.


did she really walk away for good, or did she get scared because she wasnt sure if she was ready to be in love and be responsible for half the relationship ups and downs?

 

[sikpupy]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
that just cant be right.


no one starts falling in love and runs away this isnt a movie.

Wanna bet? I was dating this chick and all was going fine. She was EXACTLY what I neeed. One time I was fvucking her and said "I could be with you forever". Tears swelled up in her eyes, and not the happy kind. I asked her what was wrong and she really didnt answer me. I figured, what the hell, if it felt so right for me to even say that and I got that responce, I am just gonna bang this crazy chick for a peice of azz. I just got out of a LTR before her and although I felt a strong connection to her and said I loved her, she wasnt gonna get my heart any time soon. Anyhow, a week later we were in my car she said "I dont think its gonna work, but lets fvck once more". Heh, okay by me but I was confused and asked her WTF???? As I was drilling her, she started crying again and said "I just wanted to let you know I love you but I have to break up with you, your too good for me.". I chased her once more, asked her if she wanted to do it and she said "fine, whatever", lol, but I was like....naa, I dont think so, not if it feels almost like rape.................... LAUNCH!!

 

[tmpgstx]

TESV, this is classic ******** for i've already cheated on you and get ready for this bombshell or i will be. Don't be fooled, there is another guy. It's textbook.

 

[backbreaker]

Thank you tmpgstx...

I mean, you guys actually listen to women when they babble?


sikpupy, your woman was probably crasier then this chick, or just ****ing someone else, or probably even already in a relatiionship.

 

[TESV]

Originally posted by tmpgstx
TESV, this is classic ******** for i've already cheated on you and get ready for this bombshell or i will be. Don't be fooled, there is another guy. It's textbook.

funny that i know for a FACT there is no other guy. My friend is also her close friend and NEIGHBOR and swears i am the only guy. I also communicate with most of her friends and this is not the case.

 

[backbreaker]

you don't have to sleep with someone to cheat on them... keep that in mind.


Why are you defending her anyway? Move on.

 

[TESV]

Originally posted by penkitten
well it could be as simple as this : she isnt ready to be in love yet.

think about it like this, if you had been hurt over and over and finally met someone who wouldnt hurt you, why would you walk away from them?

also look at this point: when you fall in love , you forget all the snotheads that hurt you in the past. the feelings of hurt fade away and you get wrapped up in love and feeling good.


did she really walk away for good, or did she get scared because she wasnt sure if she was ready to be in love and be responsible for half the relationship ups and downs?

I believe she got scared because she wasnt sure that she was ready for love and dipped before she lost control of herself. Hey, 3 months have passed and she told my friend yesterday that she still loves me but got scared because things got so serious with me so fast. She also has been bragging to her girls and some of her guy friends about how good i was in bed (my friend said last night as well) and she admitted she wants me back either way but just doesnt know when or how or what she wants at the moment.

 

[ikkenai]

more baggage than the queen of england