My gf has cheated me and I am in a need of serious help here.

[vivek59234]

Dear DJ's,

I belong to India and it's a bit of long story. I apologize for it but I have to be very clear so that I can get a better solution and move on in my life. And please forgive me if I have some grammatical mistakes.

I am 30 year's old and I have done my Masters from London. I then started my own software company and since 3 year's I had increased my staff from 1 employee to 100 employees and my turn over was in millions.

Here is the story. I married a girl whom I have been knowing from past 7 years. I was in love with her but due to her possessiveness and her fighting nature on small things I couldn't really love her deeply.
I couldn't give her more time what she wanted because every time she used to piss me off on small things. However, on the other hand she was extremely helpful to me. She used to work extra hours for the company and get the business.

I also had a bad habit of drinking due to some pathetic friends which was ruining my life.

On the other hand I have banged plenty of girls in my life and suddenly I came in contact with a girl in my office itself. She was 6 out of 10 and my wife is way way beautiful than her. But my gf was extremely hot in bed. She satisfied me like anything in any position. My wife was very shy in bed because it was her first time.

This girl was in love with a guy who was already engaged and I knew he was using her because she was an emotional girl. I then took her from that guy and we both started our serious relationship. It lasted for 2.5 years but she cheated me thrice during this duration.

1st time she again started talking to her ex and I came to know. She cried and she apologized about it and came back. 2nd time after 1 year she again started talking to him and I came to know. However, this time she told me that she wanted to marry him and I told her that he is already engaged and he is already marrying him but she didn't listen and she went to meet him. This was for 4-5 days and suddenly she came back to me stating "he hugged me and I couldn't feel anything. I felt like I am missing you only". She again dumped him and came back to me.

Third time she started talking to another guy after 1.5 years in my office and they both went out. I came to know and I caught her again and had shown her all the texts that guy had sent to his friend and she was again guilty about this and came back to me.

Everything was smooth and we both were very happy. I used to bang her daily like anything and we decided to marry each other. However, every relationship has fights and few hicks-hacks.

Here is the twist, her childhood friend got married and she started living with her husband near to my gf's house. My gf is also sharing a flat with other 5 girls. Since they both are childhood friends they both are extremely close and she wanted me to meet her friend.

I remember that day we met and her friend was extremely happy. She was like your bf is very caring and he is the perfect person for you. However, I was drinking and she didn't like it.

Before 5 months my wife left me because she came to know about my affair with this girl and my wife is at her parent's place. She wants divorce now. But at the same time I told my gf to search for another job and don't work in my company. She started searching for the job and I helped her a lot for 2 months till she got a job. I paid for everything and I was standing mentally and physically with her.

But the moment she got a job she flaked. One day her childhood friend and my gf called me and they started blasting at me. Stating you are drinking too much and you have hurt her a lot by fighting and she has done so many things for you blah blah blah.

Here is the twist, her ex bf and her childhood friends are good friends and they both are constantly in touch with each other. And my gf listens more when her childhood friend talks to her.

She started acting cold and I was going mad.. I started chasing her like anything. One day before 2 months she told she has lost all her feelings for me and she doesn't wanna stay with me anymore.
I begged and cried but she didn't even listen.

Reasons she gave: She was in a 2.5 year's relationship and that guy was mad behind her which she didn't like and then she started dating 2nd guy whom I am talking about and she was in relationship with him for 4.5 years and during this period she was mad behind him but he was very dominating and controlling that's the reason she came to me and according to her I am also very dominating and controlling that's why I don't want to be any relationships anymore.

I again begged and she didn't care.

But after 1 month she came back with her ex bf and I knew was going to be with him.

If she had to be with him then why did she come to me? Why was she in a commitment with me?

Due to all these bull**** stuff I couldn't give time to my company and I was running in a loss from a profit of millions and I am now in debt.

Today after 2 months also, I am extremely depressed. I am not able to sleep and I keep on remembering her. Sometimes I thought of suicide as well but somehow I have controlled it.

There is NC from past 2 months.

But it is extremely hard to divert my mind now.

1. I have lost my gf. What shall I do?

2. I have lost my wife. I want her back but she is not convinced. She has never ever cheated me in past 7 years and she was very loyal to me.

3. I am in a loss and I am not able to concentrate on work.

I keep on missing my gf and I am always thing about how good we were together and we had amazing sex. Why did she do this to me?

Please I need serious help guys. I am in an extreme difficult condition.

Thanks,

Vivek

 

[vivek59234]

Ok my friend I will read this.

Thanks for the help.

 

[TheGambino]

Ok my friend I will read this.

Thanks for the help.

I will give you proper advice later today, busy right now.

 

[vivek59234]

I will give you proper advice later today, busy right now.

Thank you and surely i will wait for this

 

[Die Hard]

You need to take a deep look into your own psyche and the relationships in your life.. Read the articles on here: http://www.sharischreiber.com/articles.html

It's difficult to read about that stuff and apply it to yourself, probably makes you feel weak. But if you have the energy to get into this stuff, it can help a lot.

 

[Jetleg]

I will give you proper advice later today, busy right now.

The irony

 

[RedScorpion]

Alright... you had a wife, and a girlfriend on the side. And you're concerned about how your girlfriend was cheating on you, while you were cheating on your wife. You're also more worried about and missing your girlfriend, rather than the wife.

Not exactly sympathetic to the plight here.

Best advice I can give - start over. Forget about these two. Find a girl that you're honestly interested in, start fresh.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. I second the advice to start over with new women. And try not to fvck it up so badly next time. Crying and begging a woman to be with you? Really? I hope you have learned by now that never works.

 

[vivek59234]

Alright... you had a wife, and a girlfriend on the side. And you're concerned about how your girlfriend was cheating on you, while you were cheating on your wife. You're also more worried about and missing your girlfriend, rather than the wife.

Not exactly sympathetic to the plight here.

Best advice I can give - start over. Forget about these two. Find a girl that you're honestly interested in, start fresh.

I know its my fault and i have ruined everything.

I shouldnt have been emotional with that girl and i should have kept balance.

Is there anyway that I can bring my wife?

 

[vivek59234]

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. I second the advice to start over with new women. And try not to fvck it up so badly next time. Crying and begging a woman to be with you? Really? I hope you have learned by now that never works.

I do take my responsibility for everything. I also apologized to my wife and tried to convince her but she is not ready at all.

On top of that I am on NC with that girl and I am not going to contact her anymore. She is deleted for sure.

I am actually worrying more about my wife and business.

Big losses have occured because of a girl thats why I am not able to accept it.

 

[Glassguy]

You'll never convince her. You married a wh0re. Get a divorce and start spinning plates asap. Understand the mistakes you made (begging, chasing her, etc) and don't do it again.

You need self respect. If a woman in a committed relationship/marriage chests, you immediately disqualify her from your life and move on.

 

[vivek59234]

You'll never convince her. You married a wh0re. Get a divorce and start spinning plates asap. Understand the mistakes you made (begging, chasing her, etc) and don't do it again.

You need self respect. If a woman in a committed relationship/marriage chests, you immediately disqualify her from your life and move on.

I think there is a confusion. My wife has never cheated me in past 7 years. However i have cheated her 3 times. On the other hand I was in an affair with a girl who has cheated me thrice.

My wife came to know about that girl and she wants divorce and that girl has gone back to her ex.

 

[Glassguy]

Well you reap what you sow.

 

[El Payaso]

I have no sympathy for you. Your wife helped you build your million dollar company and was by your side but you cheated on her multiple times. You deserve anything that happens to you.

 

[sph21]

First of all, you need to read this post: **To all the Newbies, Heart Brokens and Hardcase Believers - Trust the Users Wisdom**

You can get book of pook for free. It's at DJ Bible. Reading DJ Bible right now is a good start in understanding your massive mistakes.

I am 30 year's old and I have done my Masters from London. I then started my own software company and since 3 year's I had increased my staff from 1 employee to 100 employees and my turn over was in millions.

As of now, you might understand that money can buy love but to maintain love, you need more than money.

I married a girl whom I have been knowing from past 7 years. I was in love with her but due to her possessiveness and her fighting nature on small things I couldn't really love her deeply.

What was the reasons you married her? Your problems with her probably caused by you were not choosing the right girl. Do you know that The Relationship Begins Before You Meet Her? You have to filter them and choose the one that is most compatible with you.

1. I have lost my gf. What shall I do?

Move on. You're too desperate to have her back after she cheated on you multiple times. You have a very low self-respect. She walked all over you and you still want her back. Worse yet, she's 6/10. You were the man with the higher status than hers but you chose to chase her. Man.. get your head straight first. You're thinking with your emotions here. I'm 35 and kind of broke right now but I've been dating with a 21 years old HB8. What you need to focus right now is not her/ your wife. You need to focus on building your character & your business.

2. I have lost my wife. I want her back but she is not convinced. She has never ever cheated me in past 7 years and she was very loyal to me.

She had lost her respect for you. For women, love & respect is one package. Let her go. You're still young to get another girl.

3. I am in a loss and I am not able to concentrate on work.

You're in loss because you were neglecting the one most important aspect of your life, which is to lead. You're unable to lead your own life and your employees can see this and they just following what you're doing. If I were you, I will start reevaluating the company and start letting go some employees who are not meeting your expectations. You must have high standards again to implement upon your employees. As you might have realize right now, building a successful business is not just about leadership. It's about management too. Reevaluate your company's spending and see what was keeping your company from acquiring profit.

I keep on missing my gf and I am always thing about how good we were together and we had amazing sex. Why did she do this to me?

You're too desperate right now. She dumped you because you have lower values than hers. Women want men who can be their trophies. In other words, you have to become the prize to be won and not the other way around.

As I wrote on another post:

Don't think like most men do. They think that women are the prize to be won. They focus too much on the external validations to determine their worth. Women can sense this. Once women understand that they have higher values, they will dump the men.

You're still thinking that getting a woman will complete your life. It won't. She will always be another addition to your life. If your life is suck, then she will make your life more miserable. But if your life is amazing, then women will want to taste that amazing life you have. Then it's your job to filter them out. It's fun to be the one who's picking the girl rather than the other way around.

Go and read DJ Bible. It's free and you will understand what you need to be done. Don't underestimate it just because it's free. It contains many user wisdom that you can't get anywhere else.

 

[TheGambino]

Do not listen to that guy. Read the book i sent you. It will help you 1000 more % then what that guy can. Hes not a good influence.

White knight haters.

 

[Glassguy]

I have no sympathy for you. Your wife helped you build your million dollar company and was by your side but you cheated on her multiple times. You deserve anything that happens to you.

He should be talking to a very good attorney instead of randoms on a men's DJ website lol.

 

[Red Legg]

I have no sympathy for you. Your wife helped you build your million dollar company and was by your side but you cheated on her multiple times. You deserve anything that happens to you.

Here comes the karma train....CHOOOO......CHOOOO....

 

[RangerMIke]

1. I have lost my gf. What shall I do?

Nothing. You get one chance, per lifetime, per chick. You need to forget about her. You made way too many mistakes with this one to recover. Forget her... stop thinking about her.

2. I have lost my wife. I want her back but she is not convinced. She has never ever cheated me in past 7 years and she was very loyal to me.

See comments above. You are about the get racked over the coals... You cheated on your wife in India, the laws in India are even worst than the USA when it comes to divorce. You are going to have to start all over again. Your soon to be ex-wife is going too own your ass. You need to be emotionally prepared for this and come up with a plan to get your life back in order.

3. I am in a loss and I am not able to concentrate on work.

You need to quit drinking and focus on your work. You are letting your emotions run your life. Live in the present and stop worrying about what you may have done in the past. That is wasted time, you can not change the past. First thing you have to understand is that these two chicks in your life are done with you... you can not fix this. All you can do is get YOUR life in order... think about yourself.

 

[Tenacity]

Dear DJ's,

I belong to India and it's a bit of long story. I apologize for it but I have to be very clear so that I can get a better solution and move on in my life. And please forgive me if I have some grammatical mistakes.

I am 30 year's old and I have done my Masters from London. I then started my own software company and since 3 year's I had increased my staff from 1 employee to 100 employees and my turn over was in millions.

Here is the story. I married a girl whom I have been knowing from past 7 years. I was in love with her but due to her possessiveness and her fighting nature on small things I couldn't really love her deeply.
I couldn't give her more time what she wanted because every time she used to piss me off on small things. However, on the other hand she was extremely helpful to me. She used to work extra hours for the company and get the business.

I also had a bad habit of drinking due to some pathetic friends which was ruining my life.

On the other hand I have banged plenty of girls in my life and suddenly I came in contact with a girl in my office itself. She was 6 out of 10 and my wife is way way beautiful than her. But my gf was extremely hot in bed. She satisfied me like anything in any position. My wife was very shy in bed because it was her first time.

This girl was in love with a guy who was already engaged and I knew he was using her because she was an emotional girl. I then took her from that guy and we both started our serious relationship. It lasted for 2.5 years but she cheated me thrice during this duration.

1st time she again started talking to her ex and I came to know. She cried and she apologized about it and came back. 2nd time after 1 year she again started talking to him and I came to know. However, this time she told me that she wanted to marry him and I told her that he is already engaged and he is already marrying him but she didn't listen and she went to meet him. This was for 4-5 days and suddenly she came back to me stating "he hugged me and I couldn't feel anything. I felt like I am missing you only". She again dumped him and came back to me.

Third time she started talking to another guy after 1.5 years in my office and they both went out. I came to know and I caught her again and had shown her all the texts that guy had sent to his friend and she was again guilty about this and came back to me.

Everything was smooth and we both were very happy. I used to bang her daily like anything and we decided to marry each other. However, every relationship has fights and few hicks-hacks.

Here is the twist, her childhood friend got married and she started living with her husband near to my gf's house. My gf is also sharing a flat with other 5 girls. Since they both are childhood friends they both are extremely close and she wanted me to meet her friend.

I remember that day we met and her friend was extremely happy. She was like your bf is very caring and he is the perfect person for you. However, I was drinking and she didn't like it.

Before 5 months my wife left me because she came to know about my affair with this girl and my wife is at her parent's place. She wants divorce now. But at the same time I told my gf to search for another job and don't work in my company. She started searching for the job and I helped her a lot for 2 months till she got a job. I paid for everything and I was standing mentally and physically with her.

But the moment she got a job she flaked. One day her childhood friend and my gf called me and they started blasting at me. Stating you are drinking too much and you have hurt her a lot by fighting and she has done so many things for you blah blah blah.

Here is the twist, her ex bf and her childhood friends are good friends and they both are constantly in touch with each other. And my gf listens more when her childhood friend talks to her.

She started acting cold and I was going mad.. I started chasing her like anything. One day before 2 months she told she has lost all her feelings for me and she doesn't wanna stay with me anymore.
I begged and cried but she didn't even listen.

Reasons she gave: She was in a 2.5 year's relationship and that guy was mad behind her which she didn't like and then she started dating 2nd guy whom I am talking about and she was in relationship with him for 4.5 years and during this period she was mad behind him but he was very dominating and controlling that's the reason she came to me and according to her I am also very dominating and controlling that's why I don't want to be any relationships anymore.

I again begged and she didn't care.

But after 1 month she came back with her ex bf and I knew was going to be with him.

If she had to be with him then why did she come to me? Why was she in a commitment with me?

Due to all these bull**** stuff I couldn't give time to my company and I was running in a loss from a profit of millions and I am now in debt.

Today after 2 months also, I am extremely depressed. I am not able to sleep and I keep on remembering her. Sometimes I thought of suicide as well but somehow I have controlled it.

There is NC from past 2 months.

But it is extremely hard to divert my mind now.

1. I have lost my gf. What shall I do?

2. I have lost my wife. I want her back but she is not convinced. She has never ever cheated me in past 7 years and she was very loyal to me.

3. I am in a loss and I am not able to concentrate on work.

I keep on missing my gf and I am always thing about how good we were together and we had amazing sex. Why did she do this to me?

Please I need serious help guys. I am in an extreme difficult condition.

Thanks,

Vivek

Sir, if you are going to get married AND maintain have a side chick, you are going to have to go about it in a much better way than the way you did. You basically had an on-going open relationship for many people to see with another woman, while, you were married.

I really don't know what to say, other then:

- Hire a good attorney to try to lessen the damage as much as possible

- Understand you are about to be taken to the cleaners most likely

- Understand that you probably are going to be drinking even MORE as you go through these legal problems

It's almost as if you are about to start life completely over. You built up a great life with the company, then a series of bad choices destroyed that life. Those bad choices included getting married and then openly cheating, letting poor influences in your life to take the focus OFF your business, letting poor influences in your life to create a drinking problem, etc.

So there's nothing else left to say man.......just BRACE for impact is all I can tell you. Because you are about to take a hit, that's for sure dude.