My first "relationship"

[Luke Skywalker]

...and now I miss being single. That's all I have to say.

For a guy that's being posting here all the time with the goal of seducing girls has finally experiencing how life is life with the loss of liberty of flirting, going out with other girls, or having an ongoing goal or purpose of eventually seducing a girl to be all cut-off on a relationship with someone who considers even talking with another girl over coffee or pleutonic relationships cheating.

Heck, having a female gym trainer is probably also cheating. I have to make this thread to contrast that if I'm ever single again, I'll read this again here that the loss of liberty to flirt with other girls sucks.

Thus the paradox, I get a confidence booster from having a girlfriend and am getting more cogniscent or having more of a force that's causing a better connection with girls and there is a glass wall yet again, this time it's called loyalty, fidelity and being honourable.

I can not, and will not EVER cheat or tell a lie in this current relationship, nor will I break-up unless there it falls apart naturally and we find out we are incompatable for each other. She's not ugly, but she's not a hot or pretty girl either. Hey, but not everything is looks. At least she's not fat.

This is a long distance relationship. I only see her for two months in a year plus a week. What did I get myself into?

 

[EnjoysWatches]

...and now I miss being single. That's all I have to say.

For a guy that's being posting here all the time with the goal of seducing girls has finally experiencing how life is life with the loss of liberty of flirting, going out with other girls, or having an ongoing goal or purpose of eventually seducing a girl to be all cut-off on a relationship with someone who considers even talking with another girl over coffee or pleutonic relationships cheating.

Heck, having a female gym trainer is probably also cheating. I have to make this thread to contrast that if I'm ever single again, I'll read this again here that the loss of liberty to flirt with other girls sucks.

Thus the paradox, I get a confidence booster from having a girlfriend and am getting more cogniscent or having more of a force that's causing a better connection with girls and there is a glass wall yet again, this time it's called loyalty, fidelity and being honourable.

I can not, and will not EVER cheat or tell a lie in this current relationship, nor will I break-up unless there it falls apart naturally and we find out we are incompatable for each other. She's not ugly, but she's not a hot or pretty girl either. Hey, but not everything is looks. At least she's not fat.

This is a long distance relationship. I only see her for two months in a year plus a week. What did I get myself into?

Wait, your not flirting and seducing other women why?

 

[AAAgent]

did you fvck her atleast. Wow your first real relationship is a LDR.....Most first real relationships are incredible eye openers but being LDR i don't know how that will work out. worst comes to worst to don't learn anything because the gaps are far and wide.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Wait, your not flirting and seducing other women why?

Because that would be cheating.

 

[drak_ool]

it all sounded good (not that I agree with everything you said, but I can see where you're coming from) until that last part...

So you got yourself in a relationship with a control freak and you don't even get the main benefit a gf is supposed to bring to the table (daily sex)... What are you thinking?

It shows good character on your part saying that you won't cheat on her. However, you admit it yourself, this is not the hottest girl you could get. So nothing stops you from probing the field, and when you find another girl who lives in the same town as you, you can cut it off with your now-gf and start a real LTR, if that's what you want.

long distance relationships don't work, especially in a case like yours where you rarely get to see the girl

 

[Luke Skywalker]

did you fvck her atleast. Wow your first real relationship is a LDR.....Most first real relationships are incredible eye openers but being LDR i don't know how that will work out. worst comes to worst to don't learn anything because the gaps are far and wide.

No, I didn't fvck her. I do not believe in pre-maritial sex. However, I think I may be a bit of an asexual - or indifferent sexual. I get intense satisfaction in other types of interactions with the opposite sex, even if it's pleutonic, enough to make my girlfriend jealous about it and call it cheating. There is emotional cheating too.

 

[Captain]

Thus the paradox, I get a confidence booster from having a girlfriend and am getting more cogniscent or having more of a force that's causing a better connection with girls and there is a glass wall yet again.

This is what keeps AFCs married to wives in miserable marriages.

this time it's called loyalty, fidelity and being honourable.

Better idea: make this a NON-EXCLUSIVE relationship.

Tell her you're dating other women. If you haven't told her you're exclusive with her, it's not cheating. If you have told her you're exclusive, either leave her, or get settled down for a miserable relationship.

I can not, and will not EVER cheat or tell a lie in this current relationship, nor will I break-up unless there it falls apart naturally and we find out we are incompatable for each other. She's not ugly, but she's not a hot or pretty girl either. Hey, but not everything is looks. At least she's not fat.

Don't settle for less than you want.

Relationships don't have to be exclusive. You need to realise that.

This is a long distance relationship. I only see her for two months in a year plus a week. What did I get myself into?

Get out of this, NOW. Long distance relationships DO NOT WORK. They make men completely miserable. Men aren't supposed to be in LDRs. It's a stupid idea and it goes against millions of years of evolution.

Heck, having a female gym trainer is probably also cheating. I have to make this thread to contrast that if I'm ever single again, I'll read this again here that the loss of liberty to flirt with other girls sucks.

For a guy that's being posting here all the time with the goal of seducing girls has finally experiencing how life is life with the loss of liberty of flirting, going out with other girls, or having an ongoing goal or purpose of eventually seducing a girl to be all cut-off on a relationship with someone.

So why are you not ditching her?

who considers even talking with another girl over coffee or pleutonic relationships cheating

This is not right. And you are actually bowing down to her over it.

nor will I break-up unless there it falls apart naturally

Do this, and she will break you down, string you along, cheat, disrespect you, and ultimately throw you out like a piece of trash.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

According to Doc Love, she fits the criteria perfectly.

A flexible giver who is loyal.

She would give me money in a heart-beat if I needed it and pays for all dates 100%. She even offered $ 1000 to replace a TV that was stolen (which I declined and returned her back the cheque and said the insurance will pay for it).

She will virtually do anything that I would like to do and coooperate with me. She doesn't try to change me and unconditionally accepts me. -- flexible.

Finally, she's not a loyalty threat at all and I have that piece of mind.

I'm not saying I can pull a hotter girl or have fun with a hotter girl. Maybe there is just a temporary confidence surge or something. or I'm going through a new phase now that I'm in this relationship.

**********

It appears she is a very, gullible and simple naive girl (a bit retarded) and not the type that would be a loyalty threat.

 

[itishe]

Luke,

GET. OUT. NOW.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Luke,

GET. OUT. NOW.

I must suffer for a time so I'll learn not to be desperate to get into a relationship again. Let this be a learning experience.

Now, people who know me on here, know I'm not that really great of a catch to attract women into my life. Here are my stats: I'm 33 y/o, live with my parents and don't have an established career and am a shy, meek and quiet sort of guy that doesn't have that "confidence" about - at least consistently. Now the only thing going is I have a nice car which I just purchased recently and I have a reasonable physique that I'm still working on. I can work on some game if I'm serious at it.

 

[MisterMcGee]

Oh lord this read like a nightmare to me.. I had a hard time reading this while feeling no ounce of positivity in my body

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Any comments on post # 8?

 

[pua1989]

as much as i dont like your posts:


yes i have a comment about #8. how can you call her flexible and describe to us a control freak at the same time?????

 

[Luke Skywalker]

It's like she's prepared even to move down here and stay here if I just say so -- in madness. I have to tell her to stay up there and do what is best for herself. (Maybe subconciously I prefer that she's up there so I can like cheat on her for 10 months and be loyal for the other 2 months).

I'm not a cheater though and will not cheat or tell a lie to cover anything. I either go with it or break-up.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

as much as i dont like your posts:


yes i have a comment about #8. how can you call her flexible and describe to us a control freak at the same time?????

On any issue where ANOTHER woman (i.e. where I'm getting some sort of satisfaction) is not involved she's flexible.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

The only out that I can see from this end is if a Long Distance Relationship concept in itself is unsatisfactory to me. She may decide to move here permamently though if I go that road. Gulp.

Here is a link from enotalone, another site that puts perspectives that she is not a control freak and is behaving acceptably within her parameters of what she defines as infidelity, and what people out there generally consider to be infidelity.

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=285476

According to concensus, I should also leave this girl if I'm not ready for a relationship and prefer a single lifestyle and certainly not use her as a confidence boost. I maintain based on post #8 that she's too valuable to me to let go like that.

 

[Interceptor]

Work on keeping your independence, staying confident, and connected to your Masculinity at all times.
Work on maintaining your self confidence, letting go of anxieties, learn how to be decisive, and maintain your boundaries and what you will and will not tolerate.
Learn how to listen. Learn how to communicate what you want to her.
Learn how to never be a wishy washy, scared wuss.
Learn how to be her MAN.
And learn why you want, and dont want an LTR.
Even if its an LDR , the necessary components still figure.
The fact that it is an LDR isnt the problem if your NEEDS are being met.
What happens is that a lot of guys ARE really too needy and clingy, and are often in relationships where their needs are STILL not met anyway.
There are people who live with each other, but dont love each other and are miserable and lonely with their partner sitting right next to them.

Learn how to choose to be in an LTR and how to say NO.
Learn what you like in an LTR, and what you dont like.

Learn how not to react to her emotional upheavals, and how to manage them and still be calm and be her 'rock'.

Learn how to manage all these things and still keep up with your dreams and plans, and your mission in life.
Let go of insecurities and feeling too vulnerable as your intimacy deepens.
Understand that you cant control how she feels or how she reacts to you.
And understand that sharing your feelings doesnt mean vomit every single experience you have ever had.
Dont make promises you cant keep.
Most of the time, its better to just do it and show her, than talk endlessly about it.

I know theres more, but its late.
Hope this helps a little.
Good luck, Luke.

 

[Maxtro]

Hmm a 33 year old virgin who's in a LDR in which he only sees the girl for two months out of the year. The virgin also doesn't believe in pre-marital sex and he refuses to cheat by sleeping with or even flirting with other women.

Honestly Luke that doesn't seem like a healthy situation. You should ask yourself a few questions.

1. What are you getting out of this "relationship?"
2. Why will you not pursue other girls?
3. What will you do if you find out she cheated on you?
4. What is your goal with this girl?
5. What will you do if she wants to have sex with you (out of wedlock "gasp!") What if you don't have sex with her she will leave?

No, I didn't fvck her. I do not believe in pre-maritial sex. However, I think I may be a bit of an asexual - or indifferent sexual. I get intense satisfaction in other types of interactions with the opposite sex, even if it's pleutonic, enough to make my girlfriend jealous about it and call it cheating. There is emotional cheating too.

This is because you are a virgin! You are not grasping the fact that you are a sexual being. Your biggest problem is that you have no idea what you are missing.

I believe that your religious beliefs are actually repressing your sexuality. Have you tried talking to the pastor or one of the elders about your view on sex?

Just so you know, back in the Bible days when people were told to not have sex until marriage, people were getting married around 14. They were lucky if they lived till 40.

 

[pua1989]

ON ANOTHER NOTE, i say you drop everything, and move in with her. itll be the biggest culture shock of your life: living hundreds of miles from mom and dad, with a girl, and having to find another job. i think itd be healthy for you. ****, if you get dumped then its even more of a culture shock because you gotta look for apartments.

 

[user43770]

At least she's not fat.

Amen, brother. Amen.