my female next door neighbor

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GoodMan32

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Before I start the story, I should mention: I've lusted after my next door neighbor from the day I met her. We'll call my next door neighbor Rebecca (not her real name).

Time for the story: Back in April, when I was coming into my building with an escort, I happened to run into Rebecca. A few days later, Rebecca asked me if I was on a date with the woman she saw me with. I told her no, I wasn't on a date (and I was hoping that was where Rebecca's questioning would end). Rebecca turned out to be full of follow-up questions. So I got stuck elaborating.

I totally left out the part about the woman being an escort. Here's the information Rebecca managed to get out of me: Even though I wasn't on a date, I had a good time with the woman (code for "sex"). I've known the woman for a while. The woman is 46.

I myself am in my early 30s. Upon hearing that the woman I was with was 46, Rebecca (who's in her early 50s) said "Nothing wrong with an older woman."

Anyway, here's why I am just now sharing a story from April: I happened to see the same escort yesterday. The escort asked me if my next door neighbor ever said anything to me about seeing us together. Upon hearing the story, the escort said it sounds like Rebecca is DTF.

The escort's reasoning (of why she thinks Rebecca is DTF):

  • The fact Rebecca was hyper-fixated on what I was doing with another woman.
  • The escort said Rebecca's comment about "nothing wrong with an older woman" was (in the escort's opinion) a pretty obvious sign Rebecca is open to getting with me.
To anyone reading, what are your thoughts?
 

Clockwerk50

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The escort is warming up your ear. She is basically making you feel like a king and telling you everything you want to hear so that you can book her again. From the information provided, it is hard to tell if the Rebecca chick likes you.

However, Rebecca seeing you with another girl gave you pre-selection and social status. If you ever have the balls to ask her out, you have to have your logistics in place and escalate all the way. Try to make it a ONS. No sissy **** here. I think this is the only play.
 

GoodMan32

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The escort is warming up your ear. She is basically making you feel like a king and telling you everything you want to hear so that you can book her again. From the information provided, it is hard to tell if the Rebecca chick likes you.

However, Rebecca seeing you with another girl gave you pre-selection and social status. If you ever have the balls to ask her out, you have to have your logistics in place and escalate all the way. Try to make it a ONS. No sissy **** here. I think this is the only play.
I inevitably commented to the escort "I find it interesting you're encouraging me to develop a f*ck buddy relationship with my neighbor, knowing that would end up costing you my business."

Her response was "Just because I'm a provider doesn't mean I lack a heart. Having you do what's best for you is more important to me than getting $300 from you every 3 months. I have enough clients, I can easily make 10k per month"
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Goodman,
Seems you are in like Flynne....It will however be a situation more enjoyable to get into than to extract yourself from,and given the age difference there is a certain inevitability in that....But you will,given time and opportunity find this out for yourself...Take some advice from a fool,be absolutely honest with your neighbour about your intentions to date other Ladies,it rightsizes the relationship from the get go,and helps avoid some of the awkwardness you might feel in the future.
 

corrector

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I agree with your escort's comments. You got pre-selection and some confidence dealing with a real (paid) woman. This thing helps your confidence and other people are noticing you with another woman.

For example, you said you already got a ONS from a lady you were talking to in your apartment elevator so you are getting these opportunities in the past.

Are you going to invite that other girl into your apartment to Netflix and chill or something like that? Try that out (or however you want to approach that) and let us know how it goes. Don't procrastinate on her. You have to strike the iron while its hot.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BackInTheGame78

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Rebecca is thinking to herself she made it very clear to you she is interested and you are clueless.

Women expect men to know how to read their signals they give them and then act on them. You did not succeed on either account. That's two strikes for you and you might not get another one...the game is not baseball.

Perhaps you should invite her over for a drink sometime and see what happens.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Interested but NOSY. OP if you pursue be prepared to walk a tightrope.

Naughty nextdoor nana or nosy, needy 'n nervous necrophilia nightmare?
 
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BaronOfHair

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Before I start the story, I should mention: I've lusted after my next door neighbor from the day I met her. We'll call my next door neighbor Rebecca (not her real name).... I myself am in my early 30s. Upon hearing that the woman I was with was 46, Rebecca (who's in her early 50s) said "Nothing wrong with an older woman"....


To anyone reading, what are your thoughts?
Fountains Of Wayne foresaw this back in '03

And the lyrics between 2:02-2:08 are just as applicable to your circumstances

It's likely advisable to engage in an ounce or two of self-reflection as to why you, a guy in his early 30s, is lusting after women who are your mother's age
 
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BillyPilgrim

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Rebecca is thinking to herself she made it very clear to you she is interested and you are clueless.

Women expect men to know how to read their signals they give them and then act on them. You did not succeed on either account. That's two strikes for you and you might not get another one...the game is not baseball.

Perhaps you should invite her over for a drink sometime and see what happens.
People, both women and men expect not to be uncomfortably interrogated by their next-door neighbors lmao.

But to be fair imo he got his first strike by "lusting after her", no way she doesn't pick up on that from the OP. Thus the interrogation.
 
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BackInTheGame78

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People, both women and men expect not to be uncomfortably interrogated by their next-door neighbors lmao.

But to be fair imo he got his first strike by "lusting after her", no way she doesn't pick up on that from the OP. Thus the interrogation.
That was because she was interested in finding out if he was single or if that was his GF. Again, women don't ask those type of questions unless they want to know the answers for their own personal knowledge.
 

MatureDJ

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This is the theme of the 1987 movie "Can't Buy Me Love". It has since been redone using a more "diverse" cast. :rolleyes:


BTW, this is what the actress ended up looking like within 2 decades. :eek: :eek: :eek:
Between October 2000 and May 2012, Peterson was arrested five times for the offenses of third-degree assault, harassment, DUI, and possession of drug paraphernalia and suspicion of distributing a Schedule 2 controlled substance.
amanda peterson.jpg
 

MatureDJ

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The escort is warming up your ear. She is basically making you feel like a king and telling you everything you want to hear so that you can book her again. From the information provided, it is hard to tell if the Rebecca chick likes you.

However, Rebecca seeing you with another girl gave you pre-selection and social status. If you ever have the balls to ask her out, you have to have your logistics in place and escalate all the way. Try to make it a ONS. No sissy **** here. I think this is the only play.
BINGO! 'Hoes are going to 'ho.
 

MatureDJ

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Before I start the story, I should mention: I've lusted after my next door neighbor from the day I met her. We'll call my next door neighbor Rebecca (not her real name).
I myself am in my early 30s. Upon hearing that the woman I was with was 46, Rebecca (who's in her early 50s) said "Nothing wrong with an older woman."
I once had a mature woman (about 40) in a Nevada bordello. It was a great learning exercise.
:)

That said, I think your main problem is that you should be lusting after women half her age. :rolleyes:
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

GoodMan32

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I agree with your escort's comments. You got pre-selection and some confidence dealing with a real (paid) woman. This thing helps your confidence and other people are noticing you with another woman.

For example, you said you already got a ONS from a lady you were talking to in your apartment elevator so you are getting these opportunities in the past.

Are you going to invite that other girl into your apartment to Netflix and chill or something like that? Try that out (or however you want to approach that) and let us know how it goes. Don't procrastinate on her. You have to strike the iron while its hot.
Interestingly, the escort recommended I invite my next door neighbor over for a movie.

I'd be reluctant to. Here's why: My next door neighbor already knows I do casual sex with women I invite over. If I invite my next door neighbor for a movie, she'll know I'm really inviting her over for sex. I don't want to deal with the awkwardness if the invite gets turned down.

Ideally, I'd like my neighbor to make the move on me.
 

GoodMan32

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Rebecca is thinking to herself she made it very clear to you she is interested and you are clueless.

Women expect men to know how to read their signals they give them and then act on them. You did not succeed on either account. That's two strikes for you and you might not get another one...the game is not baseball.

Perhaps you should invite her over for a drink sometime and see what happens.
I've mentioned before on here that I'm on the spectrum. As a result, it's practically impossible for me to tell whether a woman is into me (unless she does something super obvious like grabbing my crotch).

While being on the spectrum obviously puts me in a worse position than the typical guy, I've heard about other men (neurotypical men) who also have a hard time deciphering a woman's clues. No matter how obvious a woman thinks she's being, men (a lot of men at least) won't necessarily pick up on it. Men are simple creatures; we need it spelled out for us.

There have been instances where I was convinced a woman was into me, I shot my shot, only to find out she's "only being nice." I then end up feeling like the world's biggest idiot (I never want to be in that position again).

On the flipside, I guarantee the reverse has happened too (woman is genuinely into me, yet I never make a move because I think she's "only being nice"), which reiterates my point about how a woman needs to be more direct.
 

BaronOfHair

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GoodMan32

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Fountains Of Wayne foresaw this back in '03

And the lyrics between 2:02-2:08 are just as applicable to your circumstances

It's likely advisable to engage in an ounce or two of self-reflection as to why you, a guy in his early 30s, is lusting after women who are your mother's age
Funny thing is: The actress who played Stacy's mom is pretty close in age today to my neighbor (and the boy from the music video is pretty close in age today to me).

As for why I'm into a much older woman: Way back when I was 20, I developed an interest in the 45+ demographic (because by that age, they're old enough pregnancy is unlikely).

Now that I'm into my 30s, a 45-53 year old woman doesn't even look old. 45-53 is the sweet spot: Young enough to still be hot, yet old enough the pregnancy risk is minimal to nonexistent.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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