My Date With A Gold Digger

[AJ84]

I agree man.. logically this makes a whole lot of sense..especially if it is after a few dates, weeks or months

but after just one date..sometimes setting these things straight with these greedy bi@ches is worth while the satisfaction.

She wasn't a gold digger, she just knows her eggs are worth more than $0.00.

That makeup and hair and outfit cost something also. Her eating healthy food to stay beautiful costs something. Her paying her rent so she doesn't have to live with a pimp cost something.

The man pays for the date. You want her to risk getting pregnant? What's in it for her? Women don't trade sex for sex, they always have some ulterior motive. Sex is a means to an end for women. You need to give her the best value.

i don't think it was her eggs she thought were worth more than 0.00
.

There's nothing wrong with thinking you have value in the dating pool, but there's a line between confidence and entitlement. I'm not a man, but I would think that an attractive woman who doesn't expect princess treatment and can take care of herself is more attractive than a woman who expects and feels entitled to being taken care of.
If you met a pair of hot identical twins, one expecting you to take care of her and one willing to take care of herself, which one would you choose long term?

 

[bigneil]

i don't think it was her eggs she thought were worth more than 0.00
.

There's nothing wrong with thinking you have value in the dating pool, but there's a line between confidence and entitlement. I'm not a man, but I would think that an attractive woman who doesn't expect princess treatment and can take care of herself is more attractive than a woman who expects and feels entitled to being taken care of.
If you met a pair of hot identical twins, one expecting you to take care of her and one willing to take care of herself, which one would you choose long term?

Men want the woman more in need. Men are not impressed by her income.

 

[QuadDeuces]

My grandmother was married as a virgin, only slept with one man, had 8 kids and went to church every Sunday.

She told me in 2008 "Women aren't gold diggers just because they want you to pay for dinner. A woman is looking for a man who can support a family".

Those "titties" OP is checking out are designed to feed children, which arouses men who seek fertility. Women are specifically designed to have kids. When you take her out to court her, you are trying to demonstrate that you are a reliable man who won't get her pregnant and leave her. That is the fundamental, underlying ritual at play - eggs for resources. Women want to say "Look what great resources my eggs got me!".

If a man is extremely attractive and/or she is extremely horny, she might use him for sex. Chances are she wants more than sex from him.

Gold digging is when they leave a guy with 2 boats for a guy with 3 boats.

The difference is your grandmother lived in an age where men went to work and women stayed home to take care of the house and children. Nowadays thanks to feminism women work just as much as men, so why should a man pay for all the dates, while they both have similar incomes?
Besides, starting a family with a slut who has been in the bed with 50 men by the time she is 25 is quite different than your faithful churchgoing grandmother.

 

[bigneil]

The difference is your grandmother lived in an age where men went to work and women stayed home to take care of the house and children. Nowadays thanks to feminism women work just as much as men, so why should a man pay for all the dates, while they both have similar incomes?
Besides, starting a family with a slut who has been in the bed with 50 men by the time she is 25 is quite different than your faithful churchgoing grandmother.

Feminism or not, the mating ritual did not change profoundly enough to alleviate men from being providers between Human Generation 9,998 and 10,000.

The average woman is still the average woman. We must normalize the number of partners and if it's not abnormal, ignore it.

Sadly, the other 50 men paid for her drinks.

 

[AJ84]

Men want the woman more in need. Men are not impressed by her income.

Some men want that. Not all though.
I'm not implying that men are impressed by her income. But again, there are men out there who don't want to foot the bill for a woman on a long term basis and want something where they aren't expected to be the sole financial provider.
This isn't the 1950s where women can stay at home and the men pay for the house, car, food etc etc. At least not in Canada, the US, and several other countries across the world.

Not every guy wants that stress.

Also, that concept feeds into the hypergamy theory of women's dating/ mate finding behaviour, so you have a situation where there's an expectation on your part to provide for the woman in need, and in return she provides xyz. Well in an economy where the cost of living keeps going up, people get laid off, lose money on investment stock, get sick and can't work etc etc, how comforting is it to have what could essentially be just a conditional arrangement with a woman who will dump you asap the moment something happens in your life and you can no longer provide for her needs?

I think when a guy sells himself as the 'provider', he's likely to attract the kind of women who will use him as long as he is providing and will ditch him when he can no longer do that and/ or a better provider comes along. Hypergamy.

There needs to be more than that, for something long term anyway.

 

[AJ84]

Bigneil, you are speaking from your own prespective. You have some wealth, and you date much much younger women. You are also not ugly. So your main playing cards to attract younger woman for more than one or two dates is your wealth, and the fact that you're not a fat troll.

You also meet many of these women in an environment where men provide money for a woman's attention, so the vibe in a strip club is very hypergamous I would imagine where it's "what can he do for me?"

You probably don't see a lot of poor middle aged men having relationships with hot 20 year old girls do you?

In that light, I can understand where your point is coming from, but it doesn't necessarily translate to all dating and mating situations where men are expected to be the providers.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

her default position was, the guy pays for EVERYTHING

should I message her and set her straight with some reality??

You should stop acting like the world should behave the way you think it should behave.

She disqualified YOU, stop trying to reframe this as a global evil that must be corrected.

Humans have SUBJECTIVE values through which they qualify/disqualify other humans.

There is no "right" way to "behave."

 

[zekko]

You should stop acting like the world should behave the way you think it should behave.
She disqualified YOU, stop trying to reframe this as a global evil that must be corrected.

I think the bigger point is that her behavior was not the kind of behavior that soulforge was looking for, especially the bit where she complained that she wanted "to be taken care of".

I dp think there is something to the argument that if you make the invitation, you should be willing to pay. On the other hand, this is online dating, and I don't think that guys shouldn't be spending a lot of money on some chick they don't know either. Maybe the solution is to stick to something more inexpensive like a coffee date when it comes to OLD.

 

[bigneil]

I agree that the bigger the age difference, the more generous the man should be. Why? Because he had extra time to get resources.

 

[soulforge]

She stated in her message, that she is not an equal rights kind of girl..

I can bet a fuking million pounds.. when it comes to pretty much everything else that works to her advantage, these woman scream for equality..

When it comes to paying for chit... Oh that is the mans job..

I mean how much of a tight ass would you have to be, to avoid paying £7.00 for a drink..

I bought her 3 rounds.. and it nearly killed her just to pay for one round.

The dude before me probably paid for all her drinks too lol


Have been on many dates, and pretty much ever time, the girl has offered to by a drink at some point..

 

[bigneil]

Questions:

1) How much time did you spend thinking about her since this date? 8 hours?
2) At minimum wage of about $7.50 per hour, 8 hours is worth about $60.00.
3) How much would the drink have cost you?

Christ, I personally could have saved by buying her a drink for you.

Time is money. Earn more and be generous.

 

[soulforge]

I think the bigger point is that her behavior was not the kind of behavior that soulforge was looking for, especially the bit where she complained that she wanted "to be taken care of".

I dp think there is something to the argument that if you make the invitation, you should be willing to pay. On the other hand, this is online dating, and I don't think that guys shouldn't be spending a lot of money on some chick they don't know either. Maybe the solution is to stick to something more inexpensive like a coffee date when it comes to OLD.

Firstly it was not me who invited her for a date... she is the one who initially suggested it.. and we both agreed.

Second this is POF we are talking about... dudes NEED to be careful.

Men get taken for a ride from these POF free loaders on a regular basis..

Also I agree, there is nothing wrong with a dude buying a a girl a few drinks on the first date... but it's just commen courtesy for the girl to offer too..

When a girl suggests, she wants to be looked after, and does not BELIEVE in paying for things or equality.

You know for a fact she is looking for a beta provider, or just someone to use for a while..

 

[Young OG]

Every single first date I've had from OLD has been at a bar. I don't have a problem with paying for some drinks on the first date. Every one of the girls at least offered to pay for a round or there drink. I didn't let them pay, but it was nice that they at least offered. The way I see it is that if she doesn't offer, then she is entitled. I don't blame you at all for not liking how she acted. Good job not responding to her text. Next

 

[bigneil]

The important thing is that OP held true to his principles. We all need to do more of that.

 

[soulforge]

Every single first date I've had from OLD has been at a bar. I don't have a problem with paying for some drinks on the first date. Every one of the girls at least offered to pay for a round or there drink. I didn't let them pay, but it was nice that they at least offered. The way I see it is that if she doesn't offer, then she is entitled. I don't blame you at all for not liking how she acted. Good job not responding to her text. Next

This.. Your spot on.. I actually could not give a fuk about the money.. it was her attitude..

And the fact that it was her RIGHT as a woman to have me buying her drinks.. If I don't bend to her will.. then that means I am the type of guy who would not look after her..

How pathetic.. Every date I have ever been on, the girl has at least had the good will to offer to pay for a round.

Infact on a couple of occasions, girls have agreed to meet for a drink, on the condition that we both pay for our own drinks separate lol

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Firstly it was not me who invited her for a date... she is the one who initially suggested it.. and we both agreed.

Second this is POF we are talking about... dudes NEED to be careful.

Men get taken for a ride from these POF free loaders on a regular basis..

Also I agree, there is nothing wrong with a dude buying a a girl a few drinks on the first date... but it's just commen courtesy for the girl to offer too..

When a girl suggests, she wants to be looked after, and does not BELIEVE in paying for things or equality.

You know for a fact she is looking for a beta provider, or just someone to use for a while..

So she suggested the date, suggested the location and then wants to spend your money like your a wallet? You did right.

Your NEW frame of not being a womans financial provider is the correct one. This isn't the 50's. We really shouldn't be messing with women who make less than us or have little to nothing to offer anyways.

If someone does make less than you and you decide to deal with them, they can't expect to sponge off of you.

My recent EX ran the provider game on me again to kill any further desire to be in the position, just like you! I cannot stand dealing with br0ke b1tches.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This.. Your spot on.. I actually could not give a fuk about the money.. it was her attitude..

And the fact that it was her RIGHT as a woman to have me buying her drinks.. If I don't bend to her will.. then that means I am the type of guy who would not look after her..

How pathetic.. Every date I have ever been on, the girl has at least had the good will to offer to pay for a round.

Infact on a couple of occasions, girls have agreed to meet for a drink, on the condition that we both pay for our own drinks separate lol

You need to pat yourself on the back. This is how you and many of us need to be. The women these days are working the system and this ain't the 50's. They have equal rights and equal pay to males.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The important thing is that OP held true to his principles. We all need to do more of that.

I agree. He had integrity in the way he's doing things, and I think he needs to stay the course. I feel in time he will find women with enough financial resources who would love to reciprocate with him, and also give him great sex and a great time.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Every single first date I've had from OLD has been at a bar. I don't have a problem with paying for some drinks on the first date. Every one of the girls at least offered to pay for a round or there drink. I didn't let them pay, but it was nice that they at least offered. The way I see it is that if she doesn't offer, then she is entitled. I don't blame you at all for not liking how she acted. Good job not responding to her text. Next

Yep, she told him exactly who she is, and he says he has no interest in that type of female. Any of us would be okay with it if she chooses us for a sexual provider, but not a financial provider or wallet. That game is dead.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You should stop acting like the world should behave the way you think it should behave.

She disqualified YOU, stop trying to reframe this as a global evil that must be corrected.

Humans have SUBJECTIVE values through which they qualify/disqualify other humans.

There is no "right" way to "behave."

She disqualified herself from his frame. She is a entitled gold digger type and our guy didn't try to impress or be nice to her. Pat him on the back.