My breaking point has been reached

[Hooligan Harry]

See here is my problem.....


What if he had asked someone else?
What if he had not asked anyone at all?

She would likely be upset at either case. So he really had no choice but to ask her.

I would call paying for her "old-school". This isn't an old-school world anymore. Women have pushed for "equality" for a long time now. Let's show them the "fruits" of that labor.

A simple,

"Look, I won a comp and we have this free holiday on the cards. I simply dont have the money to pay for your ticket at the moment, Im a bit broke. I would like you to come, but if you cant afford the ticket either at the moment I will understand. It would be fun though"

Problem solved. Its not what you do, its how you do it. You gave her the option.

While I am all for holding women to this equality ****, I am not going to do it at the expense of my own good manners. Like I said, even if it was a buddy, I would pay for the ticket if I expected them to go.

Christ, HOW MUCH DOES A PLANE TICKET COST? Fly budget man.

I dont understand the mentality of some of the people here. While I agree that constant gifts and supplication are a killer, I actually like being generous. Friends, family, women in my life. What is wrong with spending money on the people you like?

Maybe this is why I make more money then most people. Its never an issue with me and never will be an issue for me.

 

[TodayisTomorrow]

Value was $40 short on a 700 ticket. The thing was it was agreed that she was going to pay her ticket and she had no problem with it untill the moment I asked her to write the check. I didn't get upset at this point I just asked for the right amount and then it somehow escalated from there. I don't really understand how it's bad manners when I invited her on this trip over a number of friends I could've taken. I spent around $4,000 winning this $14,000 package which includes free hotel for a week($2,000 value) and $1,000 worth of food and I'm happy to share that with her.

 

[jophil28]

And THAT is the CORE of your problem. THis is NOT about money at all, it is all about her retaining POWER in ways that suit her - at her discretion and at her whim in the moment.
I bet that this latest drama is just one in a long series of petty power struggles between you two. The stunt that she pulled with the cheque was just a last ditch attempt by her to exercise some oppositional POWER over you ,and in so doing, she hoped to have her ego retain its belief in NOT GIVING IN.
Why are you with a woman like this ?

Reseach Oppositional Defiant Disorder and see it it fits her.

( Ignore my previous post..I wrote that when I believed that the issue was shared expenses. You have much deeper problems with this lady )

 

[vorbis]

Based on what you've said, (she earns more than you and sounds like a very nice hotel and full board supplied), she should have paid for the ticket. Free hotel and food in the Bahamas for a week (you in Atlantis, just curious?) is a very nice offer.

Stiffing you on the 40 bucks is something that would annoy me as well. You complain about it and you get called stingy. If its only 40 bucks why leave it off in the first place.

My guess is you've some underlying relationship issue going on. When I was fighting with my gf over moving in, this is exactly the kind of ****e she'd pull. Small stuff that that she's know would lead to arguments. I'd be fairly sure she's moody over something larger.

 

[KontrollerX]

*Agree with DonS and Knight's Cross*

 

[NewMan]

She writes you a check for 660 out 700 - and you end the relationship.

I can't believe this is the first time money has been an issue in your relationship.....

u didn't get mad over the 40 bones - u got mad over other aspects of the relationship. u have to be honest with yourself.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

Dude, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Ignore all the bull**** posters here who are trying to SHAME you into believing that you did anything wrong.

Jesus ****ing Christ; the man said he was broke at the moment and his girl makes a ton of money and it was discussed before hand that if she wanted to join him she'd have to cover her portion of the airfare, and he would cover what he could which was all accomodations; AND SHE AGREED. It was she who was stingy; it was she who was being a pain; it was she who after taking note that it wasn't funny to you decided to SHYT ON YOU AGAIN, and when you called her out, she claims she was "joking".

She was just trying to see how much she could take advantage of you since you had a history of being spineless with her. And the moment you stand up for yourself not only do you get shamed by your girl, but your supposed brothers line up with her to shame you as well. I am beyond disappointed.

You did NOTHING wrong.

I dont think you even read the OP did you?

Bah, **** it.

If money is an issue to you or you earn **** all then this is going to be seen as a problem for you. When manners (which do make the man) can be ignored outright simply over a few notes then I have to wonder exactly what it is that you have to offer as a man. Sorry, if you can drop $4000 playing poker but cannot afford a plane ticket then you are an idiot.

Guess Im just traditional that way. Amazing how so many people complain about feminism and the way it has destroyed women yet in the same breath expect women to act in ways that feminised societies expect them too. Its a case of "hey *****, dont be expecting me to tolerate that feminism stuff yo, but hey, pay the tab and make sure you are ready for the threesome I organised with your kid sister"

Make up your ****ing minds. Either you are a traditional man with traditional values and a traditional outlook OR you are a man who agrees with feminism and its ideals. You cant have the best of both worlds! *****ing and moaning about women who expect chivalry and equality all the time while you expect her to be this independent, go getter that will suck your toes without the sense of entitlement is just not on and its unrealistic.

I blame the PUA mentality for this ****. You are willing to compromise basic manners in an aim to fulfil some textbook ideal of a relationship. Cant even see the irony in how AFC it is to change your good behaviour over a piece of ass. Im starting to think that the majority of people on this board have absolutely no social skills whatsoever and are nothing more then androids.

Too many geeks and dorks passing off advice that holds no basis in reality other then their photographic memory of Mystery Method.

 

[thissucks003]

I agree with you, it is all about how you do it. He could have wordsmithed his vacation pitch to her and this would all have been avoided. However, I think it is HER being rude in this case. She shorted the full amount on purpose. It was rude of her not to pay the full amount. I would actually call it a sense of entitlement.

Call me an @sshole, but I will not let someone in my life who has a sense of entitlement, especially with me as the sucker paying for it. I would question anyone who would endorse such a thing.

There is a lot of ways Today is Tomorrow could have handled it. A fun way would to act like nothing happened and take the 40 dollars short. The next time she bought something promise her to pay your half and short change her. It is a very petty thing to do, but let her learn the hard way. If she biitches about not paying full, you always have that card to play by telling her she started it and all things are equal.

 

[jophil28]

........

 

[jophil28]

I dont think you even read the OP did you?


Make up your ****ing minds. Either you are a traditional man with traditional values and a traditional outlook OR you are a man who agrees with feminism and its ideals. You cant have the best of both worlds! *****ing and moaning about women who expect chivalry and equality all the time while you expect her to be this independent, go getter that will suck your toes without the sense of entitlement is just not on and its unrealistic.

And there, gentlemen, is the essense of your choices with women.

You either maintain, practise and expect traditional value and MORALS or you allow yourself to be towed along by faddish thinking, relativism amd all the crap that a femicentric culture throws at you.
YOu cannot criticize women for their bloated sense of entitlemant BUT then act as if you expect her to ante up like a buddy would . That makes YOU as "entitled" and as hypocritical as them.
ULtimately it is one way or the other and some of your 10,000 words tomes promoting all manner of lofty ideals are pure fashionable rhetoric when you look behind the $10 words.

 

[jophil28]

Dupe post.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

I agree with you, it is all about how you do it. He could have wordsmithed his vacation pitch to her and this would all have been avoided. However, I think it is HER being rude in this case. She shorted the full amount on purpose. It was rude of her not to pay the full amount. I would actually call it a sense of entitlement.

Call me an @sshole, but I will not let someone in my life who has a sense of entitlement, especially with me as the sucker paying for it. I would question anyone who would endorse such a thing.

You would have put your foot down six years ago though.

 

[KarmaSutra]

This must be a cultural thing. I cant honestly begin to believe how you could think your behaviour would be normal or acceptable.

If I invite someone on a holiday with me, especially someone I happen to be ****ing, I would have picked up the whole tab.

It's NOT normal which is why this brother stands out so remarkably. He did the right thing. He made her accountable for her portion of the trip.

You're the one who's normal. Giving in to her every whim and for what? Nothing. You get nothing but the whole bill while this brother is kicking his hot dog down her hallway doggie style.

You need to check yourself. If a woman ever graces your presence, ask her next time she drops a deuce if you can get her toilet paper for her.

It's expected isn't it?

 

[Hooligan Harry]

It's NOT normal which is why this brother stands out so remarkably. He did the right thing. He made her accountable for her portion of the trip.

You're the one who's normal. Giving in to her every whim and for what? Nothing. You get nothing but the whole bill while this brother is kicking his hot dog down her hallway doggie style.

You need to check yourself. If a woman ever graces your presence, ask her next time she drops a deuce if you can get her toilet paper for her.

It's expected isn't it?

How am I giving into her every whim? Did I not say that I would do the same for a friend? Its MANNERS. If you have an entire holiday planned, where the other person has had no input as to the location or timing, then asking them to pay for a ticket , especially when they are obligated to come with, is BAD MANNERS. After 6 years, she is obligated to go if he asks.

Must I put this into bold letters for you?

Its amazing how often people on these forums resort to the shaming tactics feminists use themselves to bring about their point. As soon as you disagree with them you are automatically AFC. Its laughable how apparent the double standards are on these forums at times. Here is another cracking example of one.

There is a difference between supplication and bad manners. Bottom line, if you can drop $4000 at a poker table, you have money to burn. To win a holiday out of it and expect someone to come with you, and then expect them to cover the costs, IS OFFSIDE. WTF guys? How can you even see it any other way? $4000 on Poker and you are asking for money for airfare because the rest of the holiday is free?

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ****ing lightweights.

The difference is that PUAs and "DJs" (I put that is "" because half of you are no where near it) see this as supplicating behaviour when it has absolutely nothing to do with "your game". Its basic manners and social etiquette.

**** it. If you lack the basic social skills to determine what is and what is not acceptable then so be it. Stick to misinterpreting seduction manuals. If you dont get it by now,you never will.

I reckon half the issues could be solved if people actually read through a thread before adding their 2cents

 

[KarmaSutra]

You confuse BAD MANNERS with expectation.

Expectation = supplication.

You're over simplifying this whole issue. You're trying too hard to beat people over the head with your idealist mentality of giving.

It's when you give without recieving anything in return when it becomes supplication. If you've trained a woman to have an expectation from you, you're supplicating.

Do I need to spell it out any clearer?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

It's when you give without recieving anything in return when it becomes supplication.

Wow...

So all charities are based on supplication......

 

[KarmaSutra]

Ass.

Read and ingest my words before you vomit your garbage.

Charities do not have any expectation. They have hope that you'll help them.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

You confuse BAD MANNERS with expectation.

Expectation = supplication.

You're over simplifying this whole issue. You're trying too hard to beat people over the head with your idealist mentality of giving.

It's when you give without recieving anything in return when it becomes supplication. If you've trained a woman to have an expectation from you, you're supplicating.

Do I need to spell it out any clearer?

So all generosity is supplication now? You only buy Christmas presents for people who buy one for you too?

That aside, if you have a holiday planned,and the person you expect to join you has had ZERO input as to what the holiday entails or where you are going, then expecting them to pay when they feel obligated to go is simply not on. Talk about expectations.

I was CLEAR when I said:

If you two sat down to plan a holiday together then I can understand why she needs to pay her way. She has had a say in where you are off to and what it entails. If she is working and she is independent then she needs to pay her way. Nothing wrong with that.

If you cannot for a minute tell the difference between this situation and a normal holiday that a couple would plan together, there is nothing I will be able to do to convince you otherwise.

I also dont for a minute believe you read through this thread or have given much though to your argument before adding your contribution.

Im glad we are not friends. I bet you the guy who never gets his round in hey? "Hey boys, lets buy our own tonight eh?"

To sum it up

1 - The OP spends $4000 at the poker table
2 - After winning a holiday where all expenses are paid, decides to treat his GF to the holiday
3 - The GF has had zero input as to when the holiday will be or where it is but is obligated to go as any women in a 6 year relationship would be when her BF has asked her to go
4 - The OP has then said because everything is free, she will have to pay for her own ticket
5 - She, being a woman and being indirect as a result, is obviously irritated that she is expected to go with on a holiday he wants and now has to pay up for it
6 - She **** tests him, which he fails horribly, and calls him a stingy guy because, well, HE IS A STINGY GUY.

So she is at fault here? Women are full of **** and in this day and age they are a pain in the arse. I would not be so arrogant to assume that women are always at fault though and while they offer their fair share of problems men are by no means always innocent either.

The OP acted like an ill mannered wanker who had expectations of his GF and was irritated that she never lived up to them. Kinda like self entitled chick would do.

Sorry pal. We are going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

 

[KarmaSutra]

You're problem is you're overlooking the single most important aspect of this discussion to appease yourself of the fact that you cannot tell a woman no.

This will cause you more harm then a bullet. It's your life. I don't give a sh!t.

The most important aspect is that SHE faulted on their agreement when it was time to pay the piper. She talked a good game and made every verbal intent but couldn't cash in.

He did the right thing by dumping this idiot broad. What else should he have waited for? Her to pour sugar in his gastank while sodomizing his dog?

Fvck you.

You're right about one thing, it's an impossiblity of a guy like me being a friend to a guy like you. You would be sucking my kneecaps and trying to buy my attention and affirmation. You can't say, "no" remember?

I need to be around free thinkers and guys with sac.

Perhaps one day, but not now.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

You're problem is you're overlooking the single most important aspect of this discussion to appease yourself of the fact that you cannot tell a woman no.

This will cause you more harm then a bullet. It's your life. I don't give a sh!t.

The most important aspect is that SHE faulted on their agreement when it was time to pay the piper. She talked a good game and made every verbal intent but couldn't cash in.

He did the right thing by dumping this idiot broad. What else should he have waited for? Her to pour sugar in his gastank while sodomizing his dog?

Fvck you.

You're right about one thing, it's an impossiblity of a guy like me being a friend to a guy like you. You would be sucking my kneecaps and trying to buy my attention and affirmation. You can't say, "no" remember?

I need to be around free thinkers and guys with sac.

Perhaps one day, but not now.

Cant say no? Now what gave you this idea? Leverage, my good man, is everything.

Bro, you dont know me from a bar of soap and have not even taken the time to read my posts yet you have labelled me and put me into a shameful box because it suits your own argument. You constantly harp on about how I cant say no to a women when I have outright stated that responses are situational and sometimes they are regardless of gender.

I would get out the crayons, but It would be a waste of time. You could have done yourself a favour and saved the ego a beating if only you took the time to read the thread and digest it properly before jumping to conclusions and making assumptions.