My biggest problem: I generally lack the confidence to approach a woman

[GoodMan32]

It dawned on me that my biggest problem is the fact I lack the confidence to approach a woman (in most cases).

This is because of a number of factors. I will be concise for my OP (and I can elaborate on subsequent posts if there are any questions).

1. Humiliation from female classmates in my younger days.

2. Some hurtful comments my mom made during my teen years.

3. There have been cases where I've misread situations (to where I falsely thought a gal was into me). Then there have also been cases where I failed to pick up on obvious cues she's into me. With how terrible my gauge is (of being able to read whether a gal is into me), somewhere along the line, I realized it's easier to rely on escorts. No guess-work with escorts. All you have to do is give her the money.

 

[tksniper]

In 2023 women are more socially awkward than ever and give way less effort than they ever did compared to 10 years ago.

I propose all men only approach after 3 iois. We need to put a price on ourselves. If a woman truely wants me to make a move, she has to check me out 3 times.

Every time a woman has checked me out 3 times and I approached, it always went well.

15 years ago you could do well with breaking the ice after 1 ioi (indicator of interest). But that’s when attention wh0res were rare. They were an anomaly.

Nowadays with social media it’s the opposite, a NON attention wh0re is rare. So we need to raise our price to adjust to the market conditions.

We need to raise our price. Women owe us THREE iois before we approach so we can weed out all the attention wh0res.

The more women raise their price, the more we raise OUR price to keep up with Hoeflation.

 

[CollegeMan22]

Some points to think about:

1. No woman who rejected you remembers you

2. No one from your youth who saw you “humiliated” cares

3. No stranger or acquaintance cares about you

4. Because no one cares, and if they do care, will forget a week after, you are free to do anything that is legal

5. You start off not having a girl’s number

6. Either you get her number (positive), or you remain not having her number (neutral)

7. The girl who rejected you will forget you a day after

In the end, it doesn’t matter. Just shout at yourself “THREE TWO ONE GO!” and take the plunge of approaching.

 

[forcerecon01]

In 2023 women are more socially awkward than ever and give way less effort than they ever did compared to 10 years ago.

I propose all men only approach after 3 iois. We need to put a price on ourselves. If a woman truely wants me to make a move, she has to check me out 3 times.

Every time a woman has checked me out 3 times and I approached, it always went well.

15 years ago you could do well with breaking the ice after 1 ioi (indicator of interest). But that’s when attention wh0res were rare. They were an anomaly.

Nowadays with social media it’s the opposite, a NON attention wh0re is rare. So we need to raise our price to adjust to the market conditions.

We need to raise our price. Women owe us THREE iois before we approach so we can weed out all the attention wh0res.

The more women raise their price, the more we raise OUR price to keep up with Hoeflation.

Nice philosophy or rule actually

 

[Robert28]

Women aren’t worth approaching anyways these days, my man. I have women make eye contact with me and stand in my vicinity when I’m somewhere and I don’t take the bait on purpose. I’ve had experiences similar to yours, had some hurtful things done to me in the past by women and I’m probably bitter now about it. And that’s ok.

 

[Gamisch]

Op you just gotta go put there and talk to them . Find whatever reason to start a conversation . Just say hi if there's nothing to comment about at first.

Somehow we men forgot that being approached and talked to is a daily routine for women. Its mostly us how grow a shield after bad experiences with women such as broken relationships but also smaller stuff like rejections. And especially our OWN interpretation of these rejection and what they mean. It mostly men who for whatever reason become reluctant to meet new women. So one must wonder and ask himself: " why do I think the way i do?"

At the end if the day talking to women could go from something you fear to something you enjoy . The key ,like everything is actually doing it. Step by step.


I made a thread about this recently; https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...ld-approaching-an-honest-conversation.278259/

Women aren’t worth approaching anyways these days, my man. I have women make eye contact with me and stand in my vicinity when I’m somewhere and I don’t take the bait on purpose. I’ve had experiences similar to yours, had some hurtful things done to me in the past by women and I’m probably bitter now about it. And that’s ok.

This is not about women but about discovering things about yourself. If you lack the confidence to..fill in whatever that might be worth something to you.. you must somehow overcome that.

Its all happening in our own mind. Just heard about a guy who slid into every woman's dm in town. Was kinda surprised to hear that THAT guy was such a woman chaser. He now has 3 kids and lives together for what's it worth. Something I've never done he apparently does without flinching.

Talking to women is something a man early 30 must be capable of.

 

[Robert28]

Op you just gotta go put there and talk to them . Find whatever reason to start a conversation . Just say hi if there's nothing to comment about at first.

Somehow we men forgot that being approached and talked to is a daily routine for women. Its mostly us how grow a shield after bad experiences with women such as broken relationships but also smaller stuff like rejections. And especially our OWN interpretation of these rejection and what they mean. It mostly men who for whatever reason become reluctant to meet new women. So one must wonder and ask himself: " why do I think the way i do?"

At the end if the day talking to women could go from something you fear to something you enjoy . The key ,like everything is actually doing it. Step by step.


I made a thread about this recently; https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...ld-approaching-an-honest-conversation.278259/




This is not about women but about discovering things about yourself. If you lack the confidence to..fill in whatever that might be worth something to you.. you must somehow overcome that.

Its all happening in our own mind. Just heard about a guy who slid into every woman's dm in town. Was kinda surprised to hear that THAT guy was such a woman chaser. He now has 3 kids and lives together for what's it worth. Something I've never done he apparently does without flinching.

Talking to women is something a man early 30 must be capable of.

It’s not the talking to them, it’s the dating them to. It’s being asked out by a girl and then her cancelling last min on a date SHE SUGGESTED. It’s about being jerked around and played with, but then expecting me to not be but hurt about it. It’s about women wanting men to be all the same, liking the same things and acting the same way. It’s weird af.

 

[forcerecon01]

Op you just gotta go put there and talk to them . Find whatever reason to start a conversation . Just say hi if there's nothing to comment about at first.

Somehow we men forgot that being approached and talked to is a daily routine for women. Its mostly us how grow a shield after bad experiences with women such as broken relationships but also smaller stuff like rejections. And especially our OWN interpretation of these rejection and what they mean. It mostly men who for whatever reason become reluctant to meet new women. So one must wonder and ask himself: " why do I think the way i do?"

At the end if the day talking to women could go from something you fear to something you enjoy . The key ,like everything is actually doing it. Step by step.


I made a thread about this recently; https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...ld-approaching-an-honest-conversation.278259/




This is not about women but about discovering things about yourself. If you lack the confidence to..fill in whatever that might be worth something to you.. you must somehow overcome that.

Its all happening in our own mind. Just heard about a guy who slid into every woman's dm in town. Was kinda surprised to hear that THAT guy was such a woman chaser. He now has 3 kids and lives together for what's it worth. Something I've never done he apparently does without flinching.

Talking to women is something a man early 30 must be capable of.

great advice

 

[Gamisch]

It’s not the talking to them, it’s the dating them to. It’s being asked out by a girl and then her cancelling last min on a date SHE SUGGESTED. It’s about being jerked around and played with, but then expecting me to not be but hurt about it. It’s about women wanting men to be all the same, liking the same things and acting the same way. It’s weird af.

Yes times are rough. And yet you must navigate through this. That's also a man's duty. While you retreat another man will attack. That's the game. Nobody misses us if we don't wanna play.

Sounds cliche, but it true man. You want women. Perdiod. Its not like you would say this if she DIDN'T flaked last minute. In that case you would "just be happy ". While the real story ,or different narrative behind her flake is YOU dodge a bullet. She wasn't that into you anyway., would be a headache.

Tons of possible reasons to why these things happen. The answer and solution is still on you to find. I think a positive attitude is a great first step.

 

[Robert28]

Yes times are rough. And yet you must navigate through this. That's also a man's duty. While you retreat another man will attack. That's the game. Nobody misses us if we don't wanna play.

Sounds cliche, but it true man. You want women. Perdiod. Its not like you would say this if she DIDN'T flaked last minute. In that case you would "just be happy ". While the real story ,or different narrative behind her flake is YOU dodge a bullet. She wasn't that into you anyway., would be a headache.

Tons of possible reasons to why these things happen. The answer and solution is still on you to find. I think a positive attitude is a great first step.

That’s just one example of many I gave. It adds up after awhile and any sane person is going to mentally check out instead of continuing stuff that hurts them. I’m tired of being picked apart my women, it’s always something. You didn’t do this, you didn’t do that, I wish you were this, I wish you were that. All the while they aren’t perfect by a long shot. I’m supposed to overlook their flaws but they can bail on me for one of mine no questions asked and I’m supposed to accept it. There’s alot of things men can do to make themselves happy that doesn’t involve women or interacting with them. I’m finding that out a little too late unfortunately but I’m glad I found it out.

 

[forcerecon01]

That’s just one example of many I gave. It adds up after awhile and any sane person is going to mentally check out instead of continuing stuff that hurts them. I’m tired of being picked apart my women, it’s always something. You didn’t do this, you didn’t do that, I wish you were this, I wish you were that. All the while they aren’t perfect by a long shot. I’m supposed to overlook their flaws but they can bail on me for one of mine no questions asked and I’m supposed to accept it. There’s alot of things men can do to make themselves happy that doesn’t involve women or interacting with them. I’m finding that out a little too late unfortunately but I’m glad I found it out.

yes women are hypocritical. Lucky for men is that we do not need them. Were nomads women are not

 

[Gamisch]

In 2023 women are more socially awkward than ever and give way less effort than they ever did compared to 10 years ago.

I propose all men only approach after 3 iois. We need to put a price on ourselves. If a woman truely wants me to make a move, she has to check me out 3 times.

Every time a woman has checked me out 3 times and I approached, it always went well.

15 years ago you could do well with breaking the ice after 1 ioi (indicator of interest). But that’s when attention wh0res were rare. They were an anomaly.

Nowadays with social media it’s the opposite, a NON attention wh0re is rare. So we need to raise our price to adjust to the market conditions.

We need to raise our price. Women owe us THREE iois before we approach so we can weed out all the attention wh0res.

The more women raise their price, the more we raise OUR price to keep up with Hoeflation.

Somethings i like about this post:

- first and foremost; positioning yourself. Being there where the fun's at. Being sharp

-what comes with that is obviously making sure you look as good as possible. Luring ioi by being tempting to women.

-waiting for ioi. How many could be debated but that doesn't matter. It gives a clear method and doss contain the " 1 -2 -3 GO" a lotta men need to push themselves out of their comfort zone .

- and thus make it a rule to AT LEAST signal back to a woman whose clearly giving you ioi. At some point it becomes normal (again).

 

[Gamisch]

That’s just one example of many I gave. It adds up after awhile and any sane person is going to mentally check out instead of continuing stuff that hurts them. I’m tired of being picked apart my women, it’s always something. You didn’t do this, you didn’t do that, I wish you were this, I wish you were that. All the while they aren’t perfect by a long shot. I’m supposed to overlook their flaws but they can bail on me for one of mine no questions asked and I’m supposed to accept it. There’s alot of things men can do to make themselves happy that doesn’t involve women or interacting with them. I’m finding that out a little too late unfortunately but I’m glad I found it out.

Yeah we all been , are or go there at some point. That's why I said you must ,and will pick yourself up at some point. If we play our cards right women are there for our enjoyment .

yes women are hypocritical. Lucky for men is that we do not need them. Were nomads women are not

Yes. And yet this mantra can be actually useful in real life combined with a positive attitude. I'd even say, with a great position to negotiate if necessary...

 

[GoodMan32]

Some points to think about:

1. No woman who rejected you remembers you

2. No one from your youth who saw you “humiliated” cares

3. No stranger or acquaintance cares about you

4. Because no one cares, and if they do care, will forget a week after, you are free to do anything that is legal

5. You start off not having a girl’s number

6. Either you get her number (positive), or you remain not having her number (neutral)

7. The girl who rejected you will forget you a day after

In the end, it doesn’t matter. Just shout at yourself “THREE TWO ONE GO!” and take the plunge of approaching.

Here are some examples of the humiliation from my youth:

In 8th grade, a female classmate spent the whole day pretending to be into me (even gave me a fake number).

In 9th grade, there was another female classmate I was into. Friends of hers would leave her Myspace comments where they said stuff like "GoodMan32 is into you? That sucks"

I know every guy has had failures with the ladies. How many guys have been pranked like I was though? And how many guys were known as "the guy where it sucks if he's into you"?

 

[forcerecon01]

Yeah we all been , are or go there at some point. That's why I said you must ,and will pick yourself up at some point. If we play our cards right women are there for our enjoyment .

Yes. And yet this mantra can be actually useful in real life combined with a positive attitude. I'd even say, with a great position to negotiate if necessary...

definitely get the power back in our hands or at least make it balanced

 

[forcerecon01]

Here are some examples of the humiliation from my youth:

In 8th grade, a female classmate spent the whole day pretending to be into me (even gave me a fake number).

In 9th grade, there was another female classmate I was into. Friends of hers would leave her Myspace comments where they said stuff like "GoodMan32 is into you? That sucks"

I know every guy has had failures with the ladies. How many guys have been pranked like I was though? And how many guys were known as "the guy where it sucks if he's into you"?

popularity is such a big thing growing up. I wasn't popular but I didnt care either

 

[GoodMan32]

It’s not the talking to them, it’s the dating them to. It’s being asked out by a girl and then her cancelling last min on a date SHE SUGGESTED. It’s about being jerked around and played with, but then expecting me to not be but hurt about it. It’s about women wanting men to be all the same, liking the same things and acting the same way. It’s weird af.

Well-said.

When I lived at home during my early 20s (and was active on online dating), a lot of gals would cancel dates on me.

When I would vent to my mom, rather than sympathize with me, my own mom would side with the gals. My mom would say stuff like "A woman has the right to cancel a thousand dates if they want. They owe you nothing."

Both of those things are true. But that's beside the point. When it becomes a pattern (of having dates get habitually cancelled on me), I have every right to be fed up, just like they have every right to cancel the date.

Furthermore, even if they technically have the "right" to cancel a date, it's good character to live up to your commitments. Men in general tend to be better about keeping our word (not just with dating, with life in general too). If we (men) say we'll be somewhere or do something, chances are we'll follow through with our commitment.

 

[Gamisch]

Here are some examples of the humiliation from my youth:

In 8th grade, a female classmate spent the whole day pretending to be into me (even gave me a fake number).

In 9th grade, there was another female classmate I was into. Friends of hers would leave her Myspace comments where they said stuff like "GoodMan32 is into you? That sucks"

I know every guy has had failures with the ladies. How many guys have been pranked like I was though? And how many guys were known as "the guy where it sucks if he's into you"?

Well, you gotta fight all your demons ,one by one . One to start with could be letting something that happened in 8th grade still control you. My geuss is that you are a completely different person now. Maybe you are 5 persons ahead of that guy from 8th grade.

And yes, i definitely had my fair share of "humiliation " . Women have no filter and once you present yourself they will show that. Once you know that you will also be able to filter their way of communication better. YOU gotta fecking love YOU ,only then you can even think about loving someone else. You got to find peace with who you are ,so you can start loving that person and spoil that person with the better things in life.

It's time to start finding yourself. Step by step. Don't allow your present self to let your past self destroy your future self. Dont let people from the past have so much power over you. Take the power back.

 

[SW15]

It dawned on me that my biggest problem is the fact I lack the confidence to approach a woman (in most cases).

That's problematic. You're going to need to address this in some fashion. It's still better to meet women in-person and arrange first dates through some in-person method rather than some tech-based method.

If you have confidence issues, those might also arise on some of the dates you'll arrange through a tech-based method. Remember that the most common outcome of a date arranged from a tech-based method is "one date, no sex, no second date". Your lack of confidence might make that waste of time outcome more probable if you don't address it.

1. Humiliation from female classmates in my younger days.

2. Some hurtful comments my mom made during my teen years.

3. There have been cases where I've misread situations (to where I falsely thought a gal was into me). Then there have also been cases where I failed to pick up on obvious cues she's into me. With how terrible my gauge is (of being able to read whether a gal is into me), somewhere along the line, I realized it's easier to rely on escorts. No guess-work with escorts. All you have to do is give her the money.

1. Humiliating rejections in high school and college (if you attended) have a way of having a lasting impact. These types of rejections are common. Few males are so suave while they are in high school. The same can be said for college men. The goal is to keep building skills in attraction-seduction.

2. You may need to address this in psychotherapy.

3. It is better to have skills in more conventional dating (paying indirectly for sex) than paying directly for sex. Either way, you will be paying for sex.

 

[Robert28]

Here are some examples of the humiliation from my youth:

In 8th grade, a female classmate spent the whole day pretending to be into me (even gave me a fake number).

In 9th grade, there was another female classmate I was into. Friends of hers would leave her Myspace comments where they said stuff like "GoodMan32 is into you? That sucks"

I know every guy has had failures with the ladies. How many guys have been pranked like I was though? And how many guys were known as "the guy where it sucks if he's into you"?

lol I had a girl in my class who claimed I was obsessed with her. The problem is I hated her and she hated me, but she went around telling everyone I was obsessed with her. 20 years later from high school she still claims that but I haven’t spoken to her in 20 years, I won’t even accept her friend request on Facebook she sent years ago lol
When I was 16 this girl I liked a lot, we were hanging out with our friends at the skating rink, she dedicated a song to me. The song was “never gonna get it”. All my friends heard it, I was so embarrassed lol what’s even funnier is a couple years ago she came crawling back trying to get with me. I used to choice words of what she could do.