My best friend is flirting with my girlfriend and she subtly reciprocates

[Dr.Suave]

What's that saying "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else"?

I never used to believe that, now I do.

Yeah, I bet.

 

[vato]

Bro let me say weldone to you.

Ignore the jokers who are pointing out the obvious, that you still care.. Obviously to some degree you still care, which makes you a man of strength who was able to tell her to get lost, even though you still have some feelings for her.

This is a sign of strength & not weakness.

Weakness would have been allowing her back into your life, which you didn't.

Healing from a break up is different for everyone. Some dudes can get over a girl in a matter of weeks, other dudes it might take a little longer, depending on the chemistry and attachment you had with said girl.

Your on the right path. From what I remember it's a relatively recent break up.

Don't let the chest beating on here, throw you off your path of healing and moving on.

Yeah man, it was difficult the first month but it got easier as the days went by. I just remind myself and if I miss her I just read through the thread to remind myself the disrespect I had to go through.

 

[vato]

So what's happening with the IG girl? What's that saying "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else"?

I never used to believe that, now I do. To some degree anyway.

It's also important to spend some time alone, introspecting, reflecting, owning our role and learning from mistakes. We ALL make them.

You can do both!
.

I have a date planned with her on Sunday.

I've done a lot of introspecting and reflecting while at the same time approaching as much as I can to keep a balance.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Your a fool because your approaching this sequentially as if her doing this is the problem, no, because she undoubtedly did many things before this point that would of been worthy of rebuff and she knew it, yet she continued to escalate her behaviour, probing you further until rebuff.

When you have somebody who is constantly probing your boundaries, you essentially have an enemy to contend with, but due to the nature of women, that being they ALL do this, the blame inherently shifts to us and so we must set and enforce the boundaries, we enforce by exercising another option and ghosting

 

[vato]

Update:

She broke no contact.

I've been doing a lot better lately. (She still comes to mind, just in case someone comments: "u sTiLL cAre aBouT heR!!!!").

Went out with friends this Saturday to my usual spot. It's a bar she never wanted me to go to during our relationship because it's always packed with stunners. Anyways, I was having fun, laughing, dancing and socializing with random people.

The day before, I had approached an Albanian hottie and texted her to come this place.

In my drunk state I saw my ex's face in the crowd and saw her eyeballing me across the bar. I turned my back, went to my friends, grabbed a drink and just chilled until the Albanian chick showed up.

When Albanian showed up I sat with her, talked, bought drinks and homerun. Closed the deal.

3 am I get this text from my ex:

"I hate you, I hate you more than words can explain. The only time I go out, you're there right in front of me. I hate you, I wish I never met you, I regret every single thing I did for you. You don't even deserve this text. You knew this would break me. You knew it, that's why you did it in front of me. You don't deserve and have never deserved someone like me. So ****ing disrespectful. I've thought about you every day, I've missed you every day, I've wanted to text you, call you EVERY DAMN DAY. But you??? No, you're the wh*re I knew you were but didn't want to believe you were. But thanks for this. This was EXACTLY what I needed to actually get over you."

I didn't reply to this text. And on Sunday she sent me another text:

"I would never do this to you. You were standing in front of me, messing around with that girl??? Do I deserve no respect at all? I would NEVER do this to you. N E V E R. I've tried to get over you but I can't, but you? You're out every weekend and yesterday you behaved like that. I've been sitting at home every weekend, everyone's been out but I've been at home, I've been depressed. WHY AREN'T YOU HURTING? WHY WAS THIS SO EASY FOR YOU? WHY? WHY ARE YOU FEELING GOOD? WHY ARE YOU HAPPY? YOU SAT THERE AND HELD HER IN YOUR ARMS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES. WHY DID YOU LEAVE WITH YOUR ARMS AROUND HER? I HATE YOU!!!!"

I replied with "my intention wasn't to hurt you" and this is a fact.

She kept texting, saying things like "you were the one I was supposed to marry", "you were the one I was supposed to have my children with".

Then she blocked me.

 

[Macadellic]

You did everything she did to you, but you did it while single, she did it in a relationship with you.

lol her frivolous gaslight attempt.

 

[Dr.Suave]

D@mn, I love Happy Endings

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Both your friend and your girlfriend view you as a doormat or someone weak because otherwise they would not treat you this way.

Over time you have taught them it's OK for them to treat you like this. Start teaching them that it's not and start today.

They may push back at first. Stick to your guns. Eventually they will accept things have changed and will be re-trained so to speak.