My best friend is flirting with my girlfriend and she subtly reciprocates

[Dash Riprock]

Total 100% disrespect dude.

Never be afraid to cut toxic people out of your life & your mate is definitely not your mate, he is a snake.

At this point and don't see how your girlfriend can be trusted either.

Might be an idea to cut them both out.

Agreed.

Your "friend" is very disrespectful. Making jokes at you in front of her is bad enough but the over-flirting is also a d*ck move. If you confront him, even in a plain, clam, non-accusatory tone, he'll likely grin and laugh and say you're over-reacting yet he knows exactly what he's doing. Guys like this really piss me off. Though I can't recall being in a situation like this, it would piss me off big time. I assume your friend's girlfriend was in the room too so it's also disrespectful for her.

If it were me, I wouldn't say anything to him or your girlfriend but I would go silent for a while to him. If you bring it up and especially if you get overtly pissed, you do risk looking insecure and jealous which aren't admirable qualities. Plus, then he and your girlfriend know he got to you and that you can't keep your cool.

Sometimes SILENCE speaks louder than words.

Let us know how it turns out.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

Clearly.

 

[Scars]

That's not your girl and that's not your friend, ditch them both.

 

[vato]

I talked to my gf earlier today and in the call she denied everything. So now I’m going radio silent like you guys suggested. Should I answer her texts or calls if she tries to reach out to me?

And for the “friend” I won’t be contacting the dude unless he contacts me and I’ll confront him face to face then. But I won’t fight him because that won’t solve any of this. Both of them have shown me what I needed to see. I learned my lesson and I won’t let this sh*t ever happen again

 

[vato]

Lol they gonna do a 3 way.

I swear this crossed my mind as well because his girlfriend never reacted when all this sh*t was going down

 

[_sideways_]

That's why I test high on congruency.

View attachment 11528

Lol....thats the perma stoner smile older dudes have in California

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

That's the smile when you get a lot of nookie.

Your cat doesn't count

 

[devilkingx2]

After three meetings with her, he told me that if I broke up with her, he and his girlfriend would still maintain contact with her, even though I hadn't mentioned breaking up. This, combined with flirty comments and actions between him and my girlfriend, raised concerns. Comments like “I’m the only one who flirts in this room” while looking at her, and her reaction being getting shy and starting to play with her hair.

Fast forward two years, and during a recent visit to his place, he made her cook while they’re laughing and giggling while cooking together. When the food was done my friend asked her to tighten the table leg (you have to rotate the leg), he then asked her in a flirty tone “is it tight?” And she responded “I would say it is tight”, - all this was done with a flirty undertone. When I expressed my feelings to my girlfriend, she denied any issue.

Ask your friend's girlfriend what she thinks about him asking another woman "is it tight?"

The best possible case scenario here is that your friend is your #1 hater and clearly jealous of your success that he's trying to sabotage. The possibilities are all downhill from there.

 

[Gamisch]

That’s all good and well, I still go knock on the guys door and straighten him out. More so for the empowerment OP needs.

C'mon now. You did nothing few month go but you advice other men to get a criminal record AT BEST over some unholy woman that would be gone either way..

Better advice is to simply leave them both.

Dont advice other men to use violence against people for the sake of a woman.

 

[vato]

Ask your friend's girlfriend what she thinks about him asking another woman "is it tight?"

The best possible case scenario here is that your friend is your #1 hater and clearly jealous of your success that he's trying to sabotage. The possibilities are all downhill from there.

He has two newborn kids with her and I don’t want to be a home wrecker. I would ask her otherwise and I don’t want to involve her into this mess

C'mon now. You did nothing few month go but you advice other men to get a criminal record AT BEST over some unholy woman that would be gone either way..

Better advice is to simply leave them both.

Dont advice other men to use violence against people for the sake of a woman.

I wouldn’t resort to violence anyway. No woman is worth jail time or broken hands.

He did me two favors though: showed me what she tried to hide, imagine if I fell for her pressure and ended up marrying her? Dodged a bullet. And second, I can get rid of this snake ass friend

 

[obelisk]

You're not establishing and maintaining proper boundaries with your friends or your women. Toxic people usually need to be kicked to the curb permanently. If they aren't respecting your boundaries then they probably never will and trust is most likely destroyed permanently. Sad but true and chalk it up to the game. You can teach people skills but you can't teach them to not be a ****.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

One fact: When a guy has a woman on his side, he's got access to a whole tool kit of manipulation that you just don't, I mean this is a vector of attack a single man just can't defend against.

One thing should tell you the truth: The shared indifference these people have for you, where is it going to lead? Anywhere good?

Your friends indifference, his behaviour was adopted directly by the women, that's the danger of not setting limits and boundaries.

This guy isn't your friend. This woman isn't your woman.

Also the over sexualizing happening by the friend is a common thing that new fathers that are overwhelmed do, it's a sign they are getting ready to bolt, his wife could just be entertaining his attitude out of fear he'll leave otherwise, you never know what's happening behind closed doors, once the kids become sentient he'll likely be out of the picture by the sounds of things

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You're not establishing and maintaining proper boundaries with your friends or your women. Toxic people usually need to be kicked to the curb permanently. If they aren't respecting your boundaries then they probably never will and trust is most likely destroyed permanently. Sad but true and chalk it up to the game. You can teach people skills but you can't teach them to not be a ****.

If you have to have a boundary with a friend then I would just defriend them. They know what is right and wrong, what is respectable and not.

Either they respect you enough and value your friendship enough not to do that or they don't.

No amount of talking will change that, they will just make sure to be more subtle and do it behind your back...same as a woman would do when you try and set a boundary.

Stop wasting your time with people who don't respect you and focus on the ones who set their own boundaries because they have their own standards to uphold and don't need you to tell them what those are.

 

[buddhafukko]

The fact that your girlfriend didn't defend you when he first started insulting you is another red flag. Obviously the phony ahole should be cut off instantly. Futhermore, your relationship with the girl is probably damaged enough to make it not worth attempting to salvage. It's not entirely her fault, you being a spineless simp by continuing to let the ******* around her lowered her respect for you. Trying to fix something you ****ed up is never as good as starting over and not ****ing up.

 

[Macadellic]

OP,
I got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

 

[soulforge]

You're girl should always FEAR you.. Not in the sense that you will beat her azz, but more in the sense that, the consequences of disrespecting you, or bad behaviour will be severe, which might result in getting her DUMPED.

This is the only way to keep chicks in line.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You're girl should always FEAR you.. Not in the sense that you will beat her azz, but more in the sense that, the consequences of disrespecting you, or bad behaviour will be severe, which might result in getting her DUMPED.

This is the only way to keep chicks in line.

Women don't fear what they don't respect.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

@vato
You're already providing your girl with lots of validation if you're bringing it up to her and having discussions about it. By acknowledging something you give it power in your world, and this situation is trivial. You knew the answer as you were writing the first post.

I'd dare her to leave or cheat with actions rather than words, it would only save me precious time and energy if she did. Give her enough rope and see if she hangs herself. The more disrespectful things she does and says, the more she's demoted and the more I start socializing with new friends. A healthy woman that wants you will bring up the emotional distance she's feeling, ask questions, and seek to find a solution with you. Most importantly she'll always be sweet with you. The toxic will complain or do nothing or sabotage. If you're ever in a similar situation simply remove yourself. There are plenty of women that will follow you out the door without a moment's hesitation.

 

[soulforge]

@vato
You're already providing your girl with lots of validation if you're bringing it up to her and having discussions about it. By acknowledging something you give it power in your world, and this situation is trivial. You knew the answer as you were writing the first post.

I'd dare her to leave or cheat with actions rather than words, it would only save me precious time and energy if she did. Give her enough rope and see if she hangs herself. The more disrespectful things she does and says, the more she's demoted and the more I start socializing with new friends. A healthy woman that wants you will bring up the emotional distance she's feeling, ask questions, and seek to find a solution with you. Most importantly she'll always be sweet with you. The toxic will complain or do nothing or sabotage. If you're ever in a similar situation simply remove yourself. There are plenty of women that will follow you out the door without a moment's hesitation.

Excellent summary

 

[Millard Fillmore]

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