Rudy_TubeSteak said:
I've been going out with this girl (21, I'm 23) for nearly 6 months (she's been my longest) and so far things have been so good compare to my previous flings and hook ups.
She treats me like a king (as my friend says, kisses the ground I walk on) she doesn't go out clubbing or has a lil drink unless she is with me. Calls and txts me all the time without me having to initiate lately. She buys me heaps of treats and other sappy stuff and does all a typical good girlfriend does. To top it off she is on the same level of sex drive as I am.
She has high grades with physiotherapy, teaches lil kids how to swim, teaches aqua aerobics and regularly volunteers for charity events and camps. She has a very strong family relationship too.
To my horror she has revealed to me her rebellious past (compare to what she is now). She had a F-Buddy for about 6 months to which she had a threesome with his male friend. WTF!! She also had another threesome with her female friend and her friend's work colleague! After that she went on to sleep with her FB for a couple more times until she met a new guy and settled down with him for nearly a year. It was nearly a year they were going out until I "stole" her from him because he hasn't been in the country for over 4 months and was stuffing her around when he could finally be with her.
She lost her virginity at 17 and has only slept with 7 guys in total (4 LTRs and 3FBs from 3somes, her "rebel" stage). 7 guys is a very small number for a 21 yr old. But I just can't get over her little s'lutty stage. She explained that she was a real good girl back in high school who never drank, took drugs, didnt lose virginity until 17 when everyone else lost it at 14, worked her a'ss off and never pi'ssed off her parents. So I guess she was breaking out and had a "system overload" then got it out of her system. The main problem I have with her is her threesomes and her cheating (from her previous boyfriend to me)
I've been with a lot of girls and this one has been awesome. I am falling for her big time (which is a first) but I feel that the past is holding me back. I literally feel disgusted and can't touch her or look at her whenever I get a visual of what shes done.
It really eats me up and I feel like it is robbing me of a healthy relationship. I am sick of the old lifestyle I had before I met her because I was just sleeping with a lot of other girls and everything was just a mask to make me happy on the surface. Now I dont even think about all the useless things and actually got a better direction in life (DJing too much is actually bad for your WELLBEING!!!)
So please, I am asking advice from the experience DJs.
PS And NO I am not going to ask her for a threesome...I have worked hard on this relationship to lose it to a petty fantasy.
First of all, STOP IT!
I read your post, and have refrained from reading everybody's responses, to not be influenced by them, as I know most will cast their "moral" judgement, and be hypocritical about male/female double standards.
Every girl who's normal, healthy, and attractive, has something in their past that she will not be too proud of. You yourself have done things that you wouldn't tell her about. Do you expect her, specially as you get more serious, to start holding back stuff from you? I think that is something she shouldn't have told you just yet, or ever, yet it is no big deal. It is the past. If you were being "morally" judged for what you have done, then most people wouldn't want to be involved with you either. We all have a past.
Most women won't tell you exactly how many partners they've been with, unless it is really a relatively low numbers. Remember, they don't usually count their one night stands, or guys that didn't make an impression. So right away you know that she told you the truth, as she was willing to tell you something even more personal.
Perhaps she got her rebellion and adventure stage past her and is also searching for something more. You are being very insecure and unfair. If you are that compatible, and that into eachother, then my friend, I am here to tell you that both of you are very lucky to have found eachother, and I envy your situation. You owe it to yourself to not sabotage it due to your insecurities and judgements.
All of us have a past that involves things we are not very proud of. I suggest you think of your own past, and write down as many of those "dark secrets" that you wouldn't tell many. Compare it to her list, and decide wether she should hold it against you. If that still doesn't help you come to grips, then I suggest you go search for a virgin, and mold her to your liking. I am not being sarcastic here, you are young, so you might still have a slim chance of meeting one of those who is 18+.
It is also very normal to feel this way, as you never thought she had done that in her past. It will take a few days for you to come to grips, and I hope you do it rather sooner than later. In the end, you will realize that we've all made mistakes yet we are still searching for something. Send me a private message, or post it here, if you need further help.
