My Advice- Never Take it Personally

[6stringer]

I'm fairly new here but not to women and after reading alot of old posts here I have noticed a bit of a pattern here- most men think that if a woman flakes, if a gf loses interest, if a woman sneezes its because of something the guy did wrong. This is usually phrased in the sense of you not gaming her right, or not doing something that you should have done...
But here is the thing I have learned after 40 yrs of life- Never take anything a woman does as personal. It will save you years of heartache and worry.
I have seen women leave good dependable men because of her own whim, I have seen women leave their bad boy alpha because they decided they wanted the house and kids a beta would provide, I have seen it all. Women are fickle creatures and literally a movie or a book might make them suddenly wish for a completely different life.
Oddly enough once you stop taking things personally not only do you get over your past you also become more attractive. Women love a guy they sense own't take things personally because they don't feel judged, and so they feel free to show themselves, to have sex and fun.
Most importantly when you stop beating yourself up you heal and feel better about yourself as well as recoupe your self esteem- which lets admit, women can be a drain on.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Dude, i'm tired of trying to teach people this on this forum... It's easily the biggest misconception here... repped.

 

[6stringer]

Dude, i'm tired of trying to teach people this on this forum... It's easily the biggest misconception here... repped.

Well to be fair it's one of those things I've had to learn and relearn.

 

[Cheeks]

How can I not take it personally though. If it is true that women are hypergamous, then by leaving you for another man they are implicitly communicating that he is the better man. Otherwise she would stay. It isn't just a whim, it is her making a calculated decision based on her biological prerogatives and sexual strategy. She weighed her options and based on my worth as a man, told me to go straight to hell. It doesn't get much more personal than that.

 

[gravityeyelids]

How can I not take it personally though. If it is true that women are hypergamous, then by leaving you for another man they are implicitly communicating that he is the better man. Otherwise she would stay. It isn't just a whim, it is her making a calculated decision based on her biological prerogatives and sexual strategy. She weighed her options and based on my worth as a man, told me to go straight to hell. It doesn't get much more personal than that.

Not exactly. He may or may not be a higher quality man. There could be a number of factors:

1) Where she is in life and what type of relationship she's seeking (short term sex or long term stability, etc.)
2) Logistical reasons, such as location, availability of you or the other man, etc.
3) Something as random as hormonal shifts or a flare of emotions caused by....God knows what? Her friend's advice? Some fvcking movie that got her all emotional? Some book she read suggesting she needs to leave you
4) A sudden shift in your attitude, including you slippping up temporarily and becoming needy or boring or providing her with average sex
5) She simply got tired of you as she gets tired of all men after a certain period of time and convinces herself that she needs to change it up..
6) while you may offer physical attractiveness, great sex, humor, strength, physique, and all the other "Alpha" characteristics...she may just want to move on to someone with more money or more of a "nice" guy she can settle down with. Someone that will buy her sh!t


It's not usually just that shes upgrading straight from A to B. Not like shes changing in her car for model B because model A is outdated. I mean it can happen, but rarely. Best to not take it personal like everyone has been saying. You will drive yourself mentally insane trying to compare yourself to the "new guy" she's seeing. Just accept it and move on.

 

[SAYNO]

"I have seen women leave their bad boy alpha because they decided they wanted the house and kids a beta would provide"


:yes:

Yep me too..

Only to find that she is still ****ing him (badboy) on the side or later on down the line she finds her a new alpha badboy to ****. That's if he'll even **** with her! Because alot of time they only stop when their looks run out. So you are correct this is something that you shouldn't worry over too much, most of the times these women get what they bargain for!

I can't count the times I've seen perfectly good men left in the lurches for no good men that are lazy, violent, abusive, criminal minded and drug addicted or worse.

When I see a foolish woman (or man) that cant learn from his or her mistakes then I say the hell with them because they are a lost cause. But, I've stopped scratching my head over this type of nonsense a long time ago. But, when you get your game to a certain level things like this seem to matter less and less. :rockon:

Btw, I believe water seeks its own level, shiiity women date and deserve shiiity men! Its the natural order of things and yes sometimes there are casualties and unpredictable outcomes, but such is life..

 

[6stringer]

How can I not take it personally though. If it is true that women are hypergamous, then by leaving you for another man they are implicitly communicating that he is the better man. Otherwise she would stay. It isn't just a whim, it is her making a calculated decision based on her biological prerogatives and sexual strategy. She weighed her options and based on my worth as a man, told me to go straight to hell. It doesn't get much more personal than that.

For me the answer is right there in your post if you read it riht. What you are saying is that her view, her values, her tastes, her priorities, her feelings and her desires are all a better indicator of value than your own. You are deferring to her. Why? Just because a woman decides something is what she wants and tells herself it is better, does not mean the Universe has spoken and suddenly it is? It means she just wanted something else at that moment and she rationalizes it the way we all rationalize things and tell ourselves what we want, or what we have is "the best"

Seriously. it seems to me that we have all been trained to think that a womans judgement- of all things! Lord!- is somehow better than our own. It used to be that men decided what was a priority and what was right or better for themselves and woman followed suit.. and now men are jumping foot to foot deferring to womens fickle natures.

Ask yourself, why does a woman saying something is better make it so to you? Why do you think her whims are more important than your own value? This is why I say don't take it personally. Its like the Italian place around my apt were to get an inferiority complex because today I chose to order Chinese food. She does what she does and feels how she feels and decides what she decides for her own personal reasons- from her childhood experiences to her hormonal flunctuations to her friends influencing her decisions and a million other personal factors. Its hard work detaching your self worth from women, being as we are trained by the media and our own mothers to assume women are the arbiters of value... but you must.

Its a downward spiral. If you allow it to happen then your self esteem and confidence will tank. If so you will do less well with women and they will choose other men who value themselves and feel good about themselves. Which will make you feel even more inferior and bad about yourself.. etc etc..A self fulfilling prophecy.

 

[6stringer]

"I have seen women leave their bad boy alpha because they decided they wanted the house and kids a beta would provide"


:yes:

Yep me too..

Only to find that she is still ****ing him (badboy) on the side or later on down the line she finds her a new alpha badboy to ****. That's if he'll even **** with her! Because alot of time they only stop when their looks run out. So you are correct this is something that you shouldn't worry over too much, most of the times these women get what they bargain for!

I can't count the times I've seen perfectly good men left in the lurches for no good men that are lazy, violent, abusive, criminal minded and drug addicted or worse.

When I see a foolish woman (or man) that cant learn from his or her mistakes then I say the hell with them because they are a lost cause. But, I've stopped scratching my head over this type of nonsense a long time ago. But, when you get your game to a certain level things like this seem to matter less and less. :rockon:

Btw, I believe water seeks its own level, shiiity women date and deserve shiiity men! Its the natural order of things and yes sometimes there are casualties and unpredictable outcomes, but such is life..

I have noticed it depends on the contrast.. some women have the alpha bad boy and just get tired of it and some come to the realization that its not all that reat. This is alot like the uy who bangs HB9s and gets it out of his system and decides that its just not that important. It happened to me. I used to be all about the hot girls and somwhere along the way it just became about chemistry to me- I will rather date a HB7 that I have real chemistry and spark with than a perfect looking 10.

BTW, water seeking its own level? YEAH! I am right there on that. With one caveat - sometimes low value people will want to be with someone of higher quality and will fake it very well. Narcissists are great at this.

 

[Cheeks]

For me the answer is right there in your post if you read it riht. What you are saying is that her view, her values, her tastes, her priorities, her feelings and her desires are all a better indicator of value than your own. You are deferring to her. Why? Just because a woman decides something is what she wants and tells herself it is better, does not mean the Universe has spoken and suddenly it is? It means she just wanted something else at that moment and she rationalizes it the way we all rationalize things and tell ourselves what we want, or what we have is "the best"

Women control the market. If women decide that something is better, than that something effectively is better. I can tell try to fool myself into thinking otherwise but at the end of the day I lost the evolutionary war.

Seriously. it seems to me that we have all been trained to think that a womans judgement- of all things! Lord!- is somehow better than our own. It used to be that men decided what was a priority and what was right or better for themselves and woman followed suit.. and now men are jumping foot to foot deferring to womens fickle natures.

Ask yourself, why does a woman saying something is better make it so to you? Why do you think her whims are more important than your own value? This is why I say don't take it personally. Its like the Italian place around my apt were to get an inferiority complex because today I chose to order Chinese food. She does what she does and feels how she feels and decides what she decides for her own personal reasons- from her childhood experiences to her hormonal flunctuations to her friends influencing her decisions and a million other personal factors. Its hard work detaching your self worth from women, being as we are trained by the media and our own mothers to assume women are the arbiters of value... but you must."

Because men have sexual needs and if they aren't met, it is because women have decided there are better choices than you.

Its a downward spiral. If you allow it to happen then your self esteem and confidence will tank. If so you will do less well with women and they will choose other men who value themselves and feel good about themselves. Which will make you feel even more inferior and bad about yourself.. etc etc..A self fulfilling prophecy.

Those men value themselves BECAUSE they are getting women regularly...being involuntarily celibate or consistently rejected is it's own downward spiral in that the traits that women really most value, pre-selection and social proof, can never be demonstrated.

 

[sylvester the cat]

BTW, water seeking its own level? YEAH! I am right there on that. With one caveat - sometimes low value people will want to be with someone of higher quality and will fake it very well. Narcissists are great at this.

Narcissists are also great at creating threads that seem like they 're giving great advice but are all about attention .

How is it you talk of how bad it is to allow women or anyone to determine our value in one post and then go on to talk about 'low value' people in another as if you are above anyone else.

Value is all relative. A high powered stockbroker to a homeless person is a peasant to royalty. That is the problem with worldly value. It is never fixed. It is in a constant flux.

Nothing personal OP .

 

[6stringer]

Women control the market. If women decide that something is better, than that something effectively is better. I can tell try to fool myself into thinking otherwise but at the end of the day I lost the evolutionary war.



Because men have sexual needs and if they aren't met, it is because women have decided there are better choices than you.



Those men value themselves BECAUSE they are getting women regularly...being involuntarily celibate or consistently rejected is it's own downward spiral in that the traits that women really most value, pre-selection and social proof, can never be demonstrated.

Well, what can I say... you've decided to put the power of your self worth in someone elses hands and nothing I say is going to change your mind. Enjoy the results.

 

[6stringer]

Narcissists are also great at creating threads that seem like they 're giving great advice but are all about attention .

How is it you talk of how bad it is to allow women or anyone to determine our value in one post and then go on to talk about 'low value' people in another as if you are above anyone else.

Value is all relative. A high powered stockbroker to a homeless person is a peasant to royalty. That is the problem with worldly value. It is never fixed. It is in a constant flux.

Nothing personal OP .

You insinuate I am a narcissist for posting a thread then pretend you are not trying to offend. If you're going to offend, be a man it about and leave the passive agressive crap to the girls.

And I think you missed the point of the thread..Yes the world will judge you, and you will judge the the world and others in it.. the point is to realize that other peoples judgements are not an objective measure of your worth, just as your judement of others are not some objective measure either. I never said not to judge, I said don't take it personally.

 

[Cheeks]

Well, what can I say... you've decided to put the power of your self worth in someone elses hands and nothing I say is going to change your mind. Enjoy the results.

I'm just arguing for the sake of arguing. Friday night and nothing better to do.

I'm not discounting the idea of preserving your self-worth, but rather trying to drill down to the cold hard facts of the matter. I can't help it.

 

[sylvester the cat]

You insinuate I am a narcissist for posting a thread then pretend you are not trying to offend. If you're going to offend, be a man it about and leave the passive agressive crap to the girls.

And I think you missed the point of the thread..Yes the world will judge you, and you will judge the the world and others in it.. the point is to realize that other peoples judgements are not an objective measure of your worth, just as your judement of others are not some objective measure either. I never said not to judge, I said don't take it personally.

Well you offer advice about not allowing others to determine our sense of value before going on to determine other's sense of value.

There is a biblical quote that advises on how not to take things personally - judge not lest you be judged.

Judging and taking things personally go hand in hand.

 

[6stringer]

The cold hard facts of human beings is that we are a fickle bunch, women especially. Just look at the need to buy a new car every year or cell phone and you'll see it.
I tend to look at womens selections like I see their proclivity for fashion. This is "in" so that is what they want.. and tomorrow its "out" and its gone.
Or here is a more practical way of looking at it is this- one path leads to self empowering beliefs, the other places the power outside of yourself. Chances are pretty good that the empowering belief will yield the best results, right? So why not choose that one?

 

[6stringer]

Well you offer advice about not allowing others to determine our sense of value before going on to determine other's sense of value.

There is a biblical quote that advises on how not to take things personally - judge not lest you be judged.

Judging and taking things personally go hand in hand.

I see your problem, you think that because I judge others I have determined another persons sense of value. No, I have determined their value to ME. Nothing more. And its not personal, just what I choose in the moment for myself.
By the same token I can accept another persons judgement of me and see that it is not an objective measure of my worth, by, like my judgement, merely and opinion. Nothing more.

Its also obvious that you are bothered by something I wrote somewhere else and are now butthurt about it.

 

[sylvester the cat]

I see your problem, you think that because I judge others I have determined another persons sense of value. No, I have determined their value to ME. Nothing more. And its not personal, just what I choose in the moment for myself.
By the same token I can accept another persons judgement of me and see that it is not an objective measure of my worth, by, like my judgement, merely and opinion. Nothing more.

Its also obvious that you are bothered by something I wrote somewhere else and are now butthurt about it.

well, that's a judgement value according to YOU. Nothing more.

interesting to note it is because of this judgement that you now think this is personal.

 

[6stringer]

Just pointing out the obvious.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Just pointing out the obvious.

That you have just contradicted the purpose of your own thread by taking my response personally is what is obvious.

 

[Skyline]

So... Indifference?