Must get back on the road...

[Die Hard]

You’re walking through a forest, in the cold, on this long journey towards your goal. There are moments you want to stop walking, coz you feel tired, you feel hungry, and the cold is getting to you… But as you stay persistent, you eventually get used to the tired feeling in your legs, the feeling of hunger and the cold. It’s not easy, but you can endure it, no worries.

Then you run into a cabin…with a fireplace inside, with food inside, with wine inside! So you get inside and warm yourself at the fireplace, satisfy your hunger with the food and ease your mind and body with the wine. On a big carpet made of fur, you fall asleep next to the fireplace…

You could stay here, it’s nice, you got everything you need here. But what about your journey? Damn the journey…who would go back outside and walk through the cold again? It’s much better in here! True, but you were on your way to a better place than this! So you just have to snap out of it and force yourself to leave this nice cabin with it’s warmth, it’s food and it’s wine. You have to force yourself to get back in the cold and march on…


This woman… She makes me connect to my feelings, I feel at ease when I’m with her, she heals my wounds, she’d GOOD to me. Yet, she’s not what I’m looking for in the end. She’s not the goal of my journey, I have to move on. But I don’t want to get back on the battleground, having to deal again with the multitude of flakey b!tches, attention wh0res and self entitled arrogant cvnts who make up the majority of womanhood. I’ll be alone again…out there in the dating arena…hoping to find someone who I can connect with... I got someone RIGHT HERE who I can connect with, she’s good to me! Why can't I just stay with her and be happy?! But she just isn’t it for me… I can't deny it... So I have to leave her behind and get back on the road again, even though it’s nice and peaceful where I am now…

It won’t be easy, not for myself but also not for her. It’s gonna hurt her, she thinks everything’s fine and that we’re going somewhere together. This fukking bullsh!t is aching my heart, man… Still, I’m gonna do it, I must.

Wish me luck, brothers. I really need it here….

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Bruce Willis,


That was all very cryptic, soldier. You speak of journeys, you speak of staying on certain roads, you EVEN speak of "battlegrounds". Then you speak of your present chick not being "it" for you. Again, all very cryptic.

Let's drop some bombs on this to blow away the confusion. I have several questions for you that you need to answer:


1. If this girl is a good girl for you, then what is the "it" that she doesn't have?


2. Also, is the "it" you're looking for something that you believe that "realistically" exists in the form of a woman that you have yet to actually meet?


3. When you speak of "battlegrounds", you're speaking my language, soldier. Whenever the term "battleground" is mentioned, I can't helped but think of MISSIONS. In lieu of this, answer this THREE PART question:

*What is this "mission" that you're on?
*How does this woman that you're currently involved with serve as an ENEMY to your mission?
*Also, will some other woman be a better ALLY to you as you seek to accomplish this mission you're on? Or is this a mission that requires you to eject ALL women?


4. You say that once you eventually reach your goal, you believe that you will be in a better place than where you are with this particular girl. If so, it's very important that you have a clear enough vision to recognize how YOU will know when you've successfully achieved your goal.

So------can you clearly articulate and/or describe to me what that "place" looks like?




Understand that it's not life or death that you answer MY (or anybody else's) questions within the body of this thread. HOWEVER, it is of PARAMOUNT importance that you DO answer these questions to YOURSELF.

And know that the HONESTY of the answers that you give to these questions will, in fact, determine whether or not you will live a life wherein you will ultimately "LIVE FREE or DIE HARD".


Much SUCCESS, RESPECT, and "Yippie Ki-Yay" to you, my motherfukka...


VU

 

[Yo'Mama]

Maybe it's not about reaching a destination Die Hard. For some men the journey is the only thing that counts. That's certainly how I feel. The road is hard and sometimes you need shelter, but ultimately you've just gotta get back out there.

 

[Sue Madre]

Condensed version:

So you finally bagged a chic who will do anything you want, but you don't want her.

What's wrong with her? Not hot enough probably.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear DieHard,
I can identify with your post....The analogy of the nice warm Cabin is a beauty....Mate,ones goals,ones lifetime aspirations are not fixed,they are fluid and they change....You change...I was a money hungry go-getter...My son contracted Leukemia,I was with him through the Hell of it all for five or so months....Seeing him fight for his life,seeing the other poor bathbuns maybe eighty or so suffering the same accursed disease,changed me forever...contact with this Lady,who sounds quite nice,may change you,who knows?

 

[SecondHalf]

You are young, it's not your time to settle.

However, I have two thoughts to share ...
1) You may come to regret this decision. There are a few I've cut loose that later in life, I wished I didn't. This realization suggests my problem then was me, not her.

2) Sadly, and contradicting thought 1, is if you push yourself to stay with this woman, it very likely won't work because your heart isn't with it. You may "check out", cheat, turn cold (or something similar). It's not fair to her!!

Sometimes it's just timing. You're just not ready for what the woman is offering.

Good luck!

SH

 

[Die Hard]

Thanks for your replies, men. Much appreciated.

Scaramouche, I'm considering the possibility but it just doesn't feel right to me. WHat happened to you with your son and all, wasn't a choice, it just happened. Staying with this woman would be a choice and I feel it's wrong to do so. I can see how your involuntary change might appear to have been a good thing, in hindsight. But that's in hindsight...you probably would never have made that change voluntarily, at the time.

Sue Madre, her not being hot enough is one of the issues yes...

Yo'Mama, my mind tells me the same thing you explained.

Victory Unlimited, I know what you're getting at and I've been asking myself the same kind of questions you raised. I won't adress your questions directly, coz I'm kinda following my own thought process here. But I guess most of those questions do rise up throughout my thought process, anyway. I'll get into it all below... And yes, we do speak sort of the same language Instead of speaking of The Game, I'd rather speak of The War, haha. Dealing with women, is being in the arena or being on the battleground to me etc. All of this also translates to my approach of working out at the gym... By the way, the preacher on the radio in the movie "Faster" (with Dwayne Johnson) really reminded me of you


As I found SoSuave and started digesting all the theory, I laid out a path in front of me for the long term. That path is set. Now I feel I'm deviating from my path, under pressure from my inner chump.

I subscribe to Rollo's Plate Theory and it is a very big part of the path I laid out for myself. So I just re-read his thread on Plate Theory to get some perspective. I'll try to lay out my thougths below:


Please note: I've only been becoming succesful at gaming women since half a year or so, really. That means being succesful with individual girls. Being succesful at spinning plates, handling several girls at the same time, is a part of my game that I'm barely beginning to scratch the surface of! I'm like a circus artist who just learned to be succesful at putting the plate on the pole and making it spin without falling off. The next step, doing this with several plates at the same time, is something I still have to learn.


My first and foremost concern is not getting emotionally attached to this girl to the extent where it's grows beyond my control, where I slip into 'oneitis', where my inner chump takes me over. There are two ways to take care of this:

1. Spin more plates.
2. Create distance through my interactions with her.

My consciense is bugging me about this, since I feel this girl doesn't deserve to be treated like that. She's not one of those modern, emancipated, arrogant, self entitled, stuck up bytches who do deserve to be treated like that. With those cvnts, it'd be a lot easier for me to treat them like that, but with her I feel bad about doing so.

At the same time, I think I recognize the psychological mechanism at work here. When a guy says he feels guilty about cheating on a woman, breaking up with her or whatever...basically saying he doesn't want to hurt her, it's mostly just a case of psychological projection: he doesn't want to get hurt himself. Many of us have an inner desire for being exclusive with a girl, an inner desire for 'oneitis', really. When you're involved with a girl, you don't like the idea of her being fukked by other guys or being emotionally involved with other guys. You want her to be exclusively yours, it's sort of an instinctive inner desire. You also inctinctively feel that you're ruining your chances at this if you don't give her the same thing. How can you expect her to be exclusive to you when you're not being exclusive to her?

In many cases, it's this inner thought that's subconsciously at play when a guy says he doesn't wanna hurt her. It's often just an expression of his subconscious fear to throw away his chances at her being exclusive to him. He says he doesn't want to hurt her, but at the same time this is just a way to camouflage the fact that he doesn't wanna hurt himself.

I guess this mechanism is at work in my current situation as well. I like what we're having together and part of me is afraid to give up on it. You know, I haven't been like this with a woman for a long time... I haven't allowed myself to really connect to a woman for a long time... I can do so in a relatively safe way with her. That's why she's good for me, Victory Unlimited...she allows me to connect to my own emotions, it's a "healing" experience for me to allow myself to be really intimate with another person. Note: this does not mean I'm allowing myself to become a total chump with her! :nono: (but at the same time, I must admit that though all of it, there's a certain fear at play that this might happen after all...)

So back to my concern of not getting too emotionally attached to her and the two possible solutions (Spin more plates, create distance through my interactions with her): My conscience initially gets in the way of those solutions, but I think I just refuted that. It's not really guilt towards her that's paralyzing me, it's what's lies underneath that projection. The fear of losing something good...the fear of losing a chance at what my chump instinct perceives as important: exlusivity from a girl.

That's where the following quote from Rollo comes to mind:

Most guys (particularly rAFCs seeking advice on SS) get to a point where Game and plate spinning give them their first taste of real options to select from or fall back on when another doesn't pan out. The problem arises when they spin enough plates successfully to the point where they think they've maxed out to their "best" option and the old scarcity mentality returns. Most times a guy who newly practices Game and plate spinning never really spins plates; he uses it for the first monogamous opportunity that's been eluding him for so long and calls it quits.

I think I tend to be exactly that rAFC at the moment... I mean, WTF?! Here I am, really just being succesful at running Game for how long? Like half a year?! Then, the first woman I meet that allows me a chance to "connect to my feelings" and all that bullsh!t, my inner chump kicks in and freaks out at the possibility of losing this supposedly "unique" situation, trying to hide behind the thought that I should feel guilty to her for spinning other plates (cheating on her), creating emotional distance from her etc. and she deserves better than that.

Yes, I do honestly think she deserves better! But my inner chump is using this thought as a ploy to take me over, I won't allow that to happen.

If I really don't want to hurt her and can't deal with the feelings of guilt that would arise from spinning other plates or holding back emotionally, then the solution is to break up with her. My inner chump doesn't want that, coz he thinks this situation is so valuable... He's the guy who wants to stay in that warm cabin with it's fireplace, it's food and it's wine. He's reluctant to get back in the cold and continue the journey, he wants to settle for the good situation he finds himself in now, in spite of the better situation he could be in if he just continues his damn journey. Perhaps he is afraid that he will never reach his destiny and will end up with empty hands?! Well, fukk that!!

I'm just getting started with this DJ stuff, I'm JUST WARMING UP... I will find many more good girls out there who can offer me the same as she does, but with better looks and more attractive personality traits than this girl. Coz I can't deny it:

1. I can do better in the looks department
2. I keep running into certain unattractive personality traits that just bother me.

These two points prevent me from really being passionate about her. I do not know it for certain, but I do BELIEVE that I can find a woman that offers me the same as she does, while being really passionate about her as well...

So fukk this... I either break up with her coz I don't wanna treat her bad, then go on with my journey towards a better woman without whining like chump OR I find some way to get past this guilt issue so I can keep her her around, create emotional distance and spin other plates as well.

One thing is for sure: I will not stay with her just because she is good to me. I won't enter an exclusive LTR with her because she is good to me. She will become "just one of my plates" or I will leave her, nothing other than one of those two options.

I'm not really sure which one it will be. I mean, spinning plates is an essential step on the path I laid out in front of me. Now I ask myself: Does spinning plates, by definition, require you to be able to numb your conscience? I'm telling myself I would have no problem "playing" one of those modern day, emancipated, arrogant bytches. This current girl, I perceive her as too honest and good to be treated that way. But who knows...when some of those other bytches are in the palm of my hand like this girl is now, perhaps I will feel guilty towards them as well?!

WILL CONTINUE IN THE NEXT POST

 

[Die Hard]

Is this my next challenge on the road? Learning to rationalize my conscience because it will otherwise inevitably stand between me and my happiness? Rollo says:

My critics will often take a binary stance in their arguments with this idea stting that "they could never be with more than one woman at a time out of respect for her" or "so I should just lie to her and see other girls on the side?" To which I'd argue that these are feminized social conventions that attempt to thwart a man's options in order to establish women as the prime selectors in intersexual relations. If it can be conditioned into a boy/man to 'feel bad' about seeing more than one woman at a time, it only better serves the female-as-chooser dynamic. To be sure, women are naturally the filters for their own intimacies, but it is essentially men who do the sexual selection. These convention's latent purpose are designed to put selection of intimacy on a conditional basis that favors women, and as long as men will internalize this women will have a preconstructed social high-ground.

The way to circumvent this dynamic is brutal honesty and a committment to truthful, non-exclusivity with the plates you're spinning. If you keep your options above board and are honest with any one girl and yourself about your choice to be non-exclusive, you not only remove the teeth from this convention, but you also reinforce yourself as a man with options (or at least perceived options)

Generalizing the issue towards women as a group, does not work for me. Sure, it might all be a part of the bigger picture, of the social conventions that were developed to favor women as a group. But this girl of mine is not responsible for the fact that those conventions are in place! Even though those conventions are unfair to men as a group, it seems unfair to project that broader social fight between men as a group and women as a group onto my personal situation with this girl. She doesn't deserve to pay for something she is not responsible for, right? I might as well tell myself: "I got hurt so many times by women, therefor all women deserve to be treated like the enemy, even this girl who is good to me..."

It doesn't work that way... But I'm willing to further examine what Rollo said in the second paragraph of the quote. If you are brutally honest about what you want from the girl and she decides to stay involved with you, she is being a willing partner to the situation. She can walk if she wants to...and in that case, you have to be tough enough and be willing to lose her. But if she decides to stay on your terms of non-exclusivity, then you are not responsible and won't have to be troubled by your conscience. Even if you believe she doesn't deserve this treatment...if she chooses to settle for this treatment, it's her choice and you are not to blame, so no need for a troubled conscience.

This might be the best thing to do for me:

* Just lay it out on the table, tell her I don't wanna be exclusive.
* Sort out the resentment from my chump instinct, which feels that I'm throwing away something precious: her exclusivity, while it is there for the taking...
* If she walks, I'll just have to cut my losses. It will really just serve as a reinforcing event for my confidence: I haven't reached my full potential by far, I'm just warming up. Great things and adventures with numerous women lie ahead of me. It is my destiny!
* If she stays, she's just a plate and I will put my focus on spinning more plates besides her, continuing on the path that I set out for myself.

Just have to work out the following issue: Rollo advocates you don't 'lay it out on the table', you have to communicate the message covertly, not overtly. But I guess I'll work that out...


*Deep sigh*

 

[women haze]

My God you mother ****ers put too much thought into this mating game....

I'm not going to fault you Die Hard, but I will say this "Good women are HARD to find"....

If you ain't ready you ain't ready, but don't b that guy that comes back here crying that you made the wrong decision.

 

[Die Hard]

If you ain't ready you ain't ready, but don't b that guy that comes back here crying that you made the wrong decision.

Thanks brother, but I won't. Once I march on, I march on, and won't look back over my shoulder at that cabin. It'll be just me and the snow again...

 

[Sue Madre]

Sue Madre, her not being hot enough is one of the issues yes...

I think it is THE issue. Let's use the Brad Pitt analogy. If she was Brad Pitt would you be making this post?

(replace brad Pitt with supermodel name)

 

[Die Hard]

Nope, I would still make this post if she looked like a supermodel. Like I said, it is one of the issues.

 

[st_99]

I don't think you need to get all poetic about all this (although nothing wrong with that ) but it just sounds like your classic, " i'm not feeling this chick anymore and i'm sure there is a better situation i am meant to be in." No worries, just move on, its fine. And yes, maybe your future wife will be not so different than this girl, and thats fine also, you just have to travel that road because its YOUR life and YOU write the script.

 

[Atom Smasher]

This is the typical thing that most guys run into but we rarely talk about it and examine it.

We fall in love with concepts and idealizations, and not with actual people. For example, a woman comes along who has 85% qualities that we are looking for, but 15% of qualities that are extremely annoying to us.

When we're apart from her, we pine for her and wonder, "What is wrong with me? I should love her and treat her right. What is my problem?"

The problem is that when we're apart from the woman, our mind dwells on the good, reduces the annoyances down to 3%, and fills in the rest with projections of how we wish she was.

We create holes in our "memory" of her (when we're apart) and then fill in those holes with idealized concepts. She is no longer who she really is in flesh and blood, but we are emotionally trapped in that "augmented" concept of her.

Then we get together with the woman, and again and again feel that huge heart-sinking disappointment as reality sets in and destroys the illusion of her we've been entertaining while apart.

So the bottom line is that we are in love with the idea of her in idealized form, but when faced with reality we sense that deep disappointment. Then comes the confusion, emotional upheaval, and the "What's wrong with me" syndrome. It is inevitable. We think to ourselves, "How can I possibly walk away from such a find?"

The bottom line is that we will never be able to reconcile the "away" emotions with the "with her" emotions. The "with her" emotions are what is real, and if there is no physical attraction and if she has annoying personality traits, it is time to move on. The concept of "I should feel different about her and about us" is an absolute illusion, a construct born of guilt.

Die Hard, I'm not saying all this is necessarily true of you and her. I'm just expounding on it because I've been thinking about this lately.

Having said all that, though, I've learned to give women a chance in the looks department and in the personality department also. I've dated some gorgeous women, and every single one of them was an emotional basket case. You guys know my maxim: Quality of character is inversely proportional to good looks. The exceptions are exceedingly rare.

Die Hard, at least consider some of my comments and see if some of them apply or not.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Great post Atom Smasher. This has really given me something to think about.

 

[squirrels]

Ah, restlessness.

I feel you, man.

I'm in a similar situation. I'm with this girl now who is great in so many ways...but there are things missing with her that I just can't look past.

I mean...she's attractive. She's 4 years older than me, but she still takes care of herself...has a great body, and knows how to make herself look good. She's not "supermodel caliber", but she's more attractive than 99% of the girls in this crappy town.

She likes doing all the "wifey things"...she cooks (used to work in the restaurant biz), she cleans, she does my laundry. She's great in bed and she wants it more often than *I* do.

She's no dumbass, either...she's very world-wise. A result of an "interesting" past, no doubt, but she seems to have infinite depths of patience. She has an uncanny understanding of the way people work, socially, and how to get what she wants out of life. She runs her own e-business, plus she's going to school, studying biology and psychology.

I mean, there are a million guys who would LOVE to have a girl like this as "in love" with them as this girl is with me.

She isn't demanding...she seems perfectly content with me, even when I'm acting like an A-hole.

But...for me, something's missing.

I just don't feel like we UNDERSTAND each other.

First, there's the difference in how we want to spend our lives. She wants to do this mundane couple-stuff...eating dinner around the table, lying on the couch together watching TV, going to dinners at fancy restaurants, going shopping. I want to travel...I want to climb mountains and race motorcycles and ride roller coasters and take weekend trips with friends.

Sure, she goes with me, "for me"...that's how giving she is. She'll "endure" stuff because she wants to be close to me. But that actually makes me feel WORSE, knowing that she doesn't really want to be doing these things and I'm essentially MAKING her do them.

There can be SOME benefit in that...you get exposed to other people's lives and maybe learn some things about yourself...things you can immerse yourself in. So far, though...I've found little in HER life that really interests me.

Second...we seem to be on opposite ends of the spectrum on what's important in life. Everything I take seriously, she sees as silly. Everything she takes seriously, I see as silly. I'm not finding much common ground with her on this. One of us will stress out about something and the other will just be like, "I don't understand what the big deal is". This has already led to a couple of our bigger..."disagreements".

For example, I regard sex as more of a "casual" thing, whereas she views it as a sign of serious intimacy. At least at this point, she does.

I have a fascination with ancient history...how great figures lived and died, how nations rose and fell, and what it can teach us about ourselves. She could care less...it's over and done with and to her it's not important.

I'm a very competitive person...I get into it when I do something simple like play a video game. She thinks I'm just immature. I love watching MMA fights...she doesn't see the point in people beating each other up.


I tip generously when I go out to eat. I do it because 1) sometimes they remember and 2) I feel generous...I don't feel that I "deserve" all I've been given in life and feel obliged that when someone in a sh!tty job like food-service has to wait on me, I can afford to give them something for it. She sees it as a "waste of money".

I have a natural sense of wonder about the nature of the universe that she just doesn't seem to share. Partly because of her "conspiracy theory-ish" views, she acts like she has all the answers and that the rest of us are "in the dark". She isn't open to discussion and alternative viewpoints at all...the mainstream answers are all wrong and even questions of extraterrestrial life and the nature of the universe are reduced to simple opinions treated as fact.

Which brings me to my third point...she seems to be closed-minded. She has her opinions about things in life and she is not open to discussion. I want to talk about everything, ALL the time...she would rather just be quiet and mull stuff over in her head.

I ask her opinion on things all the time...her response is always the same. "Whatever you want to do". Either she doesn't have an opinion on ANYTHING, or she isn't communicating with me...she's just bottling it all up inside.

But then as soon as I get frustrated and start thinking, "maybe this NEEDS to end", she snuggles up to me and gives me those eyes and that smile, as if to say, "everything's fine"...and I just melt. I feel like I can't do it to her...and deep down I feel like maybe something IS wrong with me for not having a place for her in my life. So I give it one more chance...and things go OK for a while. And I start thinking maybe I can do this...maybe I can just settle into the coupled-life like everyone else.

But I can't...and it's tearing me up inside.

I feel you, DH. You almost get ticked off at yourself for NOT being able to accept life in the cabin. You have it so good...why is the journey so important to you? And you wonder if, once you leave, you'll wish you had stayed. You'll look back in your lonely years to come and say, "Man, that girl was awesome...I wish I had kept her around".

I was reading Robert Frost's poem, Stopping by woods on a snowy evening this morning...and the "woods" are indeed lovely, dark, and deep. That's what it feels like to be in this relationship right now...like disappearing into the woods, abandoning my life's journey, and accepting the "darkness". And it provides me a lovely feeling of comfort. When I look into her eyes, I feel like I could just lie there with her until the end of time. I've almost reflexively said, "I love you" to this girl three or four times within the last month...just because it feels so comfortable to just "give in" to love. I call it "catharsis"...and she says it back to me in a mocking manner, like I had said something silly and dramatic. But again, what seems like a joke to her means a lot to me.

Love feels like a goddam opiate addiction. Those guys who get high on oxy or heroin or whatever....they just sit in their chair, feeling great, with no motivation to continue living. You want to get up and get moving again, but it's "so easy to just submit".

Every time I'm with her, I am in awe of her beauty, her patience, her ability to be happy just by virtue of being with me. I want to just relax and embrace it. But I feel the horse tugging at the reins...my journey leads me elsewhere, to places where I don't feel like she can follow. She may want to TRY, but I know she won't be happy, and I don't want her to "accommodate" my life for the rest of hers.

I don't know how to tell her. I've tried...but as I said, she has it in her head that we are "meant to be", and she stubbornly rejects my assertions to the contrary.

 

[women haze]

Again .....It all comes down to what I said before "good people are hard to find".

You seem like a good person Squirrels and Die hard....

These Women in your lives know it, and deep down inside you know it too. If that wasn't the case you would have been given her the deuces and left.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Love feels like a goddam opiate addiction. Those guys who get high on oxy or heroin or whatever....they just sit in their chair, feeling great, with no motivation to continue living. You want to get up and get moving again, but it's "so easy to just submit".

Totally agree man -- and let me tell you if you submit to that drug, the one you thought you didn't want or need, you may eventually find yourself dependent upon it. And it's no fun when it wears off.

I go with what some have said here -- you can't convince yourself to stay in a relationship -- the fact that you are not dependent upon her or needy is a good thing -- she is within your frame -- you have the upper hand -- but you're never going to be happy with a certain level of mediocrity by which you know you are capable of achieving more and better.

We create holes in our "memory" of her (when we're apart) and then fill in those holes with idealized concepts. She is no longer who she really is in flesh and blood, but we are emotionally trapped in that "augmented" concept of her.

Agree with this as well -- often times we fall in love with the "concept" of her, but not her for whom she actually is. I would say this is probably why 90% of people stay in bad relationships that are continually not working.

Ultimately I agree with what people are saying about there being no "perfect person" and we ought to just learn to be happy. But at the same time there's nothing wrong with pushing for more. But there is always a fine line there -- by pushing towards non-existent ideals and wondering why happiness is so elusive...that fine line is for each of us to understand on our own.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Die Hard -- you still with this chick? Wondering if you pulled out of it or you're still with her.

 

[Desdinova]

I'm going through this exact debate myself. The woman I'm with treats me like gold. She's not an emotional fvck-up, and she's not a drama queen. But my physical attraction to her has gone down. She's gained a good chunk of weight in the past couple of months. I don't mind girls who've got a bit of extra fat on them, but she already had that and has put on more. I've tried getting her to exercise with me, and she complained all the way through it. My bottom line is if the woman cannot take care of her body, then she's not the right woman for me.

We get along great, but I can't stay with someone I'm not physically attracted to. On top of it all, I've got this little hottie who has a lot of interest in dating me. She's petite, pretty, and we've talked about eating the right kinds of foods. I've used kino on her and she's responding well. I want to date her, and I'm going to date her.

One thing I've realized over the last few years is that Sosuave has turned me into a high-maintenance man. I feel that I deserve a fantastic woman, and sadly there aren't many women out there who will live up to that expectation. My gf is probably the one who's come the closest, but she's still so far away from it.

The search will continue.