Side note: girls number from 2 days ago wont stop texting me, and driving me nuts :woo: , I guess not the worst problem to have.
Approach 20
Wednesday, January 30
I see a girl (easily a 9) walking in front of me with giant shades and earphones on. Instantly my antisocial rant pops in my head, but she seems in a rush and I somewhat wasn’t vibing how I wanted to yet (excuses excuses).
I run into my friend and joke around about how we haven’t had a movie night and about the movie I made and such. Just laughing and having a great time, then I head to class and who do I see sitting by her lonesome self 10 minutes early, shades girl (now without shades, but still with earbuds).
I sit down next to her
Mr: how antisocial
Shades girl: what?
Mr: I can understand music on the bus or working out, but in class even. I know he’s boring but that’s pushing it.
Shades girl: ha, ya well Im checking out my bros new music.
Mr: blah blah
Shades girl: blah blah dorms are boring blah
(after more fluff I jump in with a personal note)
Mr: You seem adventurous (in a statement)
Shades girl: lol, umm ya I guess I am
Mr: probably the way you present yourself, and you play soccer, not scared to run around, what do you do?
Shades girl: well, umm, I dunno
Mr: maybe I was wrong
Shades girl: lol blah blah
Shades girl….blah blah blah (IOI reinitiates convo multiple times)
The blahs continue until I state I don’t have a book yet and she does and since we have a test on monday, obviously we should study together. Get her number. Before class ends she says when she may be studying and I tell her Ill give her a call if Im at the dorms, or just ring me up when she studies and possibly thinks of me. Then she stated she doesn’t have my number (IOI).
Side approach: went to lunch and couldn’t find a friend so sat next to this 6, opened with I hate sitting alone, so I thought I’d join you. Had a nice long chat about this and that, traveling, teaching and so on. Good stuff.
FINISHED!!! I feel as though I have accomplished and learnt a great deal. Sometimes the difficulty to approach was insane, and continuously is, but I grew after each conquest and even though I’m not where I envisioned myself being, I still feel closer to that goal. I almost gave up a few times, and thought the whole 'cold approach' was not for me, but I realized this is beyond just approaching, this is about confidence and feeling alive. This would have been insanely easier with another friend with me to vibe off of and boost energy, but I did all of them by myself so to have to truly have the confidence to push. I used some great techniques in the process:
*Humming a tune (thanks to Walden) – helps distract the mind and relieve built up tension when becoming to serious
*Vibing – creating confidence from someone else. Many times I accomplished this by talking to friends or other strangers and joking around having a good time, then moving onto a target. Maybe a phone conversation, even feeling off the target creates a good vibe. Anything to get out of a drone like state.
*Snowballing - I see it like vibing, but as where I can approach one girl, who I dont care much about, and run the energy created onto something else, than keep building it up.
*Not overthinking or getting too focused. Its just a game. I didn’t always just go out to approach, sometimes it was to buy something or during a running session. That way if I didn’t approach I didn’t feel as though I wasted my time.
It feels as though most anxiety has left me (I barely feel nervous before I speak), yet I still cannot approach at times due to not feeling a great vibe to push convos the way I’d like. (possibly its my old bad habits crawling up, or possibly being scared of the outcome ((even without anxiety)) I want to find a faster way to feel a high energy vibe so I can approach more frequently, though this may be an excuse to some degree for not just going for it.
Phat – Good question. I love it most of the time, but it is a constant in my thoughts and takes up a great deal of attention I could focus elsewhere. I do not think I can go back to my ex like I have been debating. I want to, but my urge for variety is so strong currently, and I want to go back on my terms, as in I know what else is out there and she is better.
Ive decided to do another 10 approaches. I feel I have come this far (and quite a change indeed) why not go a little further. No need to stop now. BUT I don’t want to feel as though my life revolves around the attention of girls. I like this, but it will not be my life's work lol.
10 more approaches it is.
Same goals:
*HB 7 up
*2 minute conversations
*Girl I never met
*AND number closed
