Mr. Ballz 20 Cold Approach Journal

[Mr. Ballz]

First, I have used this site for 3 or so years. Insane results and confidence emerged. ive gotten so much ass since ive awakened. nice indeed but now its time to challenge myself.

Ive set this aside long enough. I'm tired of excuses and above all fear. I have been in LTR for roughly 7 months. I willingly left, a large degree because I was sick of routine. I felt I needed change and missed my old spontaneous ways of not knowing where I would end up in the following weeks and who I would meet. I and everyone else thinks I have relationship issues...I'll work on that later I just need to do this now. Ive been trying for the last few weeks on approaches, either half assed or full of excuses. I'm done, Im ready for rejection, success or just a good story. I may be good with the girls I already know, but it's all to easy. I want to be able to chase like I used to, but better.

My goal is to approach 20 girls total. Not 100 or even 50. I want to make this realistic and I will make this happen. This is purely used as a log of my approaches as well as my thoughts. I want to do these as fast as possible and not stretch it over a 3 month span. Yet, I know how wusslike I have been behaving recently and how bad my approach anxiety has been paralyzing me, so it may take some time, but this challenge needs to be taken on and I cant be pleased as a leaf in the wind.

*20 Approaches
*all attractive girls: HB 7 up only
*2 min conversation at the very minimum

Those are my guidelines.

 

[Rashad]

godspeed! Take good notes bro.

 

[Mr. Ballz]

I was walking to the Rec Center at my college and noticed a HB 7 doing the same. I easily could have opened with 'forgot what rain looked like' (Georgia's been in a bad drought, but today the clouds are doing there thing). But i wussed out. I need to start acting on the 3 second rule. If I dont start acting on these Ill miss the easy ones.


Approach 1
Saturday, December 15

I finished my workout and decided to jump on the treadmill purely to see if any girls were there. who would want to feel like a hampster on a treadmill when you can run on the track upstairs? nonetheless thats where the girls are, but not today since its break. So I opened the HB7 working behind the desk and asked her i needed her opinion on how I shake girls hands.

Mr: Ive got a random question to ask. all my friends consider my handshake gay, but I see it as the natural way to shake a girls hands. What do you think? (reaching for her hand, than showing her) ((prince charming kind of handshake without the kiss))
HB7: (speaks about how she thinks the normal way is better)
Mr: (push why the normal way shows that one is scared to admit he is in a presence of a girl yada yada..)

eventually I bring her other worker in and she states the complete opposite of HB7 and takes my side.

It was good to loosen myself up but employees should not be my primary targets. I liked that I added kino and pushed even though she seemed uninvolved until I brought her friend into it.

 

[thissean]

Interesting open, mind if I give it a try?

 

[jdawgmcb]

Good open, take two/three nights out of the week and do some straight sarging, with or without a wingman.

 

[thissean]

How about this for an open, its the same idea, just slightly different.

"Hey, I have a random question. They say you can figure a guy out by his handshake, what can you figure out from mine?"

 

[EFFORT]

Congrats on taking some action, lets get these 20 done and then up the amount for the next run.

For opener just be "real" and introduce yourself. Hey my name is X. This will cut you to the chase without all the bs.

 

[Mr. Ballz]

Appreciate the thoughts guys,

thessean - go for it bud, alls fair game on my thread

EFFORT - you have a great point. What I've been doing is indirectly bouncing around just to get some interaction. If I want any real results I need to go direct.

So today was my free day to approach. Not pleased... Im psyching myself out making it feel like this is my last hope and I am just snowballing pressure. I find this good and bad. I need the pressure to do this, but, like stated, I'm becoming unnecessarily nervous.

I did some approaches today, but either it was under 2 minutes or she wasn't hot enough so I will not count them. I opened one girl who looked like a HB 7.5 from the back but as I have learned many times before you cant judge a girl by her hair (if only). So I asked the HB 6 some questions about this part of town and what there is to do here and told her my parents just moved here and I'm currently visiting them, which is true. We got a nice chat going and I enjoyed the nice warmup.

After that I noticed myself bailing on every opportunity, kicking myself harder after each fall. I did some quick approaches like this HB8.5 with her mom about this giant poster with Amy Palmer and Craig Nelson and asked what movie that's from (I was genuinely stumped) we all pondered and never got to a conclusion but they seemed very interactive and I need to extend these indirect pointless openers. Before I left I had this HB6 worker flirting with me helping me find gifts for my family, my leaving words being "ive gotta get out of the cold see ya", hers being "you're hot". lol never good luck getting that from a HB7 up.

Far from over guys :box: Im going to push through this, especially after this beating I felt today, it makes me want to push 10x harder the next. I cant let myself down on this.

On a side note, so last night I got pulled over for running lol. didnt know that was possible, but 2 cop cars and 3 officers were surrounding me when I was running at 1:30am with one of my good buds (I love running at night, and the cold was too tempting) didnt have to pull any license or registration though.

 

[Reyaj]

dude what you are doing is just talking to a girl. I dont mean to sound critical because Ive come a long way.... but you have to approach with the guts to go for the number..... I mean unless you have complete social anxiety like I once did you don't need to start with LJBF lines....

 

[Mr. Ballz]

Jayer I know exactly what you mean. I am sugarcoating it. I am going to stop this, but I am working good on my anxiety. Enjoy reading your transformation btw.

Today I went for a long run and stopped encompassed by supermarkets and decided to stop in. I visit the starbucks attached to the store first to find 2 sets of 2 girls sitting together, but it is very compact inside and there are no extra chairs with either and I psyched myself out. One girl is scavenging the alcoholic beverages and as soon I gather my balls she bails. Then I decided to head to Target

Approach 2
Tuesday, December 18

I see this girl looking at makeup and after hesitating twice I jump in with an opener that will surely get mixed reviews here:

Mr: Hey, Ive got a question
HB8: ya
Mr: What would be your final thoughts if you knew you were going to die within 10 minutes?
HB: what?
Mr. This isn’t for general knowledge, I’m making a skit about a man who is impaled by a tree limb and his friend is there to hear is final thoughts. (all true btw)
HB: hmm, sounds depressing enough.
Mr: It’s a comedy
HB: (lauging) well I would blah blah blah

After a while the convo was ending but I wanted more time so I pushed more questions. Now thinking back I could have asked her why she was looking at makeup at 10pm or why I was carrying a 1 foot tall pine cone and a penguin oven mitten. Hell, I could have even asked her name and bonded on how boring the town was. But I said thanks for the feedback and skipped on my way. Still felt great about it though to loosen up.

Leaving to buy the penguin oven mitten I ran across a HB8.5 at the cash register. I chatted to her about me running and having the money in my shoe and asked her about the late shift. At the end though, I had the a tremendous urge to tell her she was real cute but I suppressed the thought at the time, but felt like I had complete and the full confident ability to do so. I made myself not do it. I feel great that I held so much confidence, and of course like crap that I held myself from it….which I will not allow to happen. It was a traditional fear that told me to hold back, and a new feeling saying go with the flow.

I need to let go and push. I am making baby steps, but I feel as though I can gallop at times, I just resist. Too many things are floating in my head. What I need to remember is I am on break in a different environment where I will never see the people I meet again, unless I allow it. I need to remember that fear is not part of this, or at least ask what is to fear?

 

[Mr. Ballz]

Ended up at target again (different one). Pleasant place.

Approach 3
Wednesday, December 19

Mr: How old are you?
HB7: 20..
Mr: cool, so am I. I'm playing a game with my friend on who can get the most numbers at a mall tomorrow and want to find out what is better, a direct or indirect approach. what do you think?
HB7: (truly thinking hard) hmmm well you asked the right person because Im a lesbian.
Mr: No way! well now I'm real interested..
HB7: (lots of hard thinking) umm umm...yada yada yada (basically I dont know)
Mr: (discuss about different places and what is appropriate)
HB7: yada yada


Overall fun. Immediately saw another HB and approached at the speed of sound.

Approach 4
Wednesday, December 19

Mr: How old are you?
HB8.5: umm why? (unsure seeming nervous)
Mr: out of curiosity?
HB: 22
Mr: well, Im playing a game with my friend tomorrow and Im trying to figure out the best approaches to gain the most numbers at the mall. Winner gets cash. (fake story) So, I'm curious whats better, direct or indirect approaches. (found myself speaking way to fast out of an excited state, so I slowed myself down during it)
HB: well I prefer indirect, I dont really appreciate direct.
Mr: so you want a guy to say "nice weather eh," or "got the time"
HB: (laughing) well, nothing that corny, but ya know.
Mr: have you had someone approach you directly?
HB: (speaks of how she usually meets guys through friends and how she had one direct approach, but the guy was no good)
Mr: Shame, (move on conversation what is considered a better location and why the mall would be hard yada yada)
Mr: whats your name (reach for her hand)
HB: HB8.5, (shakes)
Mr: nice meeting you

I hit the edge guys. My day was already not going great and I could not let this top my crap cake. Then, as I walked I noticed I was surrounded with those less fortunate. People who had disabilities, people born with unfortunate defects. Obese people. How could I let someone as fortunate as myself, given so much and have so many opportunities, how could I possibly hold myself down. How pathetic. How truly disrespectful towards life. I was done, I had 2 choices as I stated earlier, approach or quit for good. I was not going to leave. Once words came out, Ive never felt so care free and easy going. Every worry melted off. This was more direct, but of course i will push further. Could have followed the last one with "well was my approach indirect enough for you? We should chill, yada yada"

Its therapeutic when I AM, instead of HOPING. I control this.

 

[DJ Snake Eyes]

Ended up at target again (different one). Pleasant place.

Approach 3
Wednesday, December 19
Mr: cool, so am I. I'm playing a game with my friend on who can get the most numbers at a mall tomorrow and want to find out what is better, a direct or indirect approach. what do you think?

From what I have read on this board, that's a big no no. Keep it up though, good stuff.

 

[snowdog]

Good **** man, keep it up.

 

[Mr. Ballz]

Went to the mall today to replace my belt (rest in peace). Had it for 3 years and it decides to snap in half one fateful day.

Approach 5
Saturday, December 22

Was in insane xmas line at a music store and noticed a 7 behind me
Mr: how much are belts?
7: umm not sure
Mr: does 10 bucks sound good cuz thats what I payed
7: wow, thats cheap
Mr: (went in story of how my belt broke after 3 years and the company closed so now im mournful and angered)
7: blah blah
Mr: what are your xmas plans
7: (visiting from california)
Mr: (discuss about snow in california and things she wasnt done that are in her grasp which Ive been dying to do)

fun convo over all. Didnt close because I knew she was with someone around the store, was from california and wasnt too into her...and a tad of fear. Would have been rediculous though if i did considering she lives on the other side of the country.

Approach 6
Saturday, December 22

Before I leave the mall I see this 7.5 looking at a purse in a mirror. I jump in immediately.

Mr: how's it look?
7.5: you tell me
Mr: not to bad, but Ive got a question for you.
7.5: ya
Mr: Im trying to find a gift for a friend but I have no idea what to get her
7.5: girl friend? close friend?
Mr: just a friend, but Im looking for a gift that says "i dont want you like that, go away" (fake story)
7.5: (laughs) probably better to not get her a gift
Mr: (explain its a secret santa runoff and Ive got to find something)
7.5 (shoots some ideas)
Mr: (tell her about finding a sad 'build a bear', she laughs, than shake her hand ask for name and introduce myself)
7.5 (brings me over to her friends, 2 guys, and tells them)

the guys were kind of into this but one seemed threatened or was just bored of shopping with a girl for purses and told her to hurry. I played it off with 'why are you guys purse shopping, you'd never catch me with my past girlfriends making that mistake'. Thanked her and was on my way.

Had a few inbetween short convos with some girls. spoke with a 4 working in a build a bear and asked for the saddest looking stuffed animal to give a "i dont like you" vibe to a girl who wont leave me alone (prior to the last approach). Also visited a cologne shop asking for a smell that shouts BMW....how about camry owner? Got some fun chats in.

Overall fun and easy, but I am taking to long and hesitating on easy targets. This is throwing me off. I need to move quicker. The three second rule is great, so my next goal is to enforce it better and stop giving myself time to debate if its worth it.

 

[snowdog]

....BMW?

Good **** man, good ****. Keep it up.

 

[Mr. Ballz]

Im striking out guys. I dont want to dab into to much detail but I am consistently psyching myself out. I CANT STAND THIS. I am making it far more difficult. I am capable of doing this, as Ive shown in the past. All the approach anxiety, but during the approach it feels incredible and easy.....I need to get over this bull**** and stop caring.

I would also like to note that I used a technique today I liked. Someone on this forum, I believe Walden, stated that humming, or singing a song to oneself helped relieve the tension and helped him approach. Well I can also agree on this, but I took to long and they wondered away. I will get over my anxiety.

 

[Supremo]

Then, as I walked I noticed I was surrounded with those less fortunate. People who had disabilities, people born with unfortunate defects. Obese people. How could I let someone as fortunate as myself, given so much and have so many opportunities, how could I possibly hold myself down. How pathetic. How truly disrespectful towards life.

This is some powerful **** you stumbled upon man... this could end up being a fail-proof way to get my act together when I'm letting the AA get the best of me.

 

[j0n024]

I think your scared to succeed....Your afraid to go that one extra step but hey it takes a while for everyone after the first time you do then it will be easier good luck and keep at it your doing good man. I gotta say you did good with those guys becasue the first time I got interrupted with a guy I freaked out lol, good luck and remember just take it easy.

 

[HolyG]

Keep it up man, always remember to close if you're looking to take it to the next level. You're doing just fine.

 

[ExcelNPrevail]

Then, as I walked I noticed I was surrounded with those less fortunate. People who had disabilities, people born with unfortunate defects. Obese people. How could I let someone as fortunate as myself, given so much and have so many opportunities, how could I possibly hold myself down. How pathetic. How truly disrespectful towards life.

Dam man this seriously touched me. Kinda reminded me on how I always use to btich about my hair thinning,but then one day I went to the mall and saw a mother with a kid on leg braces, they both looked like they were suffering. It just reminded me on how fortunate I am. I here have my overall health in order, a million opportunities are just waiting to be grasped...that includes women . but seriously...

Ballz keep it up, we may not know you personally but da**it we'll be here for you when you need it.

Strive on. :box: