Most of my friends are women...YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT??

[STR8UP]

The title was for shock value, don't get your panties in a wad

It seems like a lot of guys here have "issues" with maintaining friendships with members of the opposite sex. I can understand why it is important to avoid unhealthy male/female relationships (been there, done that thank you). But to universally cast this type of friendship in a negative light is also unhealthy, in my opinion.

Most of my friends and acquaintances happen to be women.

Tomorrow I am going to a lady friends house for dinner and drinks with a couple of my other female friends. After dinner I'm suposed to call another female friend to possibly meet up downtown at a club. Monday I'm supposed to be meeting with a girl I dated ten years years ago to have some drinks and catch up. Next weekend I am going out with a couple of my boys and a BUNCH of women I know.

Would I fukk any of them if the opportunity presented itself? Absolutely. Most of them are pretty damn good looking. Am I hanging out with them in hopes that one day I might get some? Absolutely NOT. I know how to recognize when this happens and I back away from the situation immediately.

That's why I have a hard time understanding why a lot of guys have such a problem with having women as friends.

In another post someone made reference to how they couldn't imagine their life without female friends. I feel the same way. Lots of benefits (getting hooked up with their friends, social proof) with few drawbacks (putting up with a little drama from time to time).

So really, what's the big deal?

 

[Genghis Juan]

Dude,

I don't see any problem with that. You seem to have control of the situation and your emotions.

I think the problems arise for the guys that have trouble keeping their emotions in check. In other words, they rationalize their failed interest in a girl by hanging out with her as a friend. I don't think a guy should become friends with a girl they actually like as a lover, or continue to hang out with after rejection -- its not healthy.

I think there are some major benefits to female friends, especially when they pivot you. If they are cool with being your pivot, it can really give your game a boost. Furthermore, like you said, you can tap into their social network to meet other women.

GJ

 

[STR8UP]

Dude,

I don't see any problem with that. You seem to have control of the situation and your emotions.

Yea, that's my point. Too many guys around here fail to make the distinction between a HEALTHY male/female friendship and an unhealthy one. It's always "She's you little girlie friend" or nothing.

I think there are some major benefits to female friends, especially when they pivot you. If they are cool with being your pivot, it can really give your game a boost. Furthermore, like you said, you can tap into their social network to meet other women.

GJ

Every time a new woman becomes interested in me nowadays, they never fail to mention something about my "fan club" or "groupies". We all know how money you are when women believe they have competition.

I will admit that with some of these women there IS some sexual tension, but I keep MINE in check. If they have a thing for me, all the better. One of them I have been to sex parties with, we always talk about sex, we even take turns pinching each others nipples...hehe. But I don't take it too seriously and have fun with it. And other women see that and think we are fukking, which ain't a bad thing......

The ones who do like me aren't going to hook me up with other women, but the social proof sends my rating through the roof

 

[( . )( . )]

What do you talk about all the time? I'm seriously curious.

I dont know if I could be comfortable as "one of the girls" , essentially your just another girlfriend if your spending as much time as you say with these girl "friends".

I dont really see the point, what do you get out of it? how can you not be bored out of your brains?

Lots of benefits (getting hooked up with their friends, social proof)

I can and do get those benefits aswell, however most of my friends and acquaintances are not women.

with few drawbacks (putting up with a little drama from time to time).

So really, what's the big deal?

Putting up with a "little" drama? Thats a pretty big deal to some for it has no place in self improvement.

 

[DJDamage]

Would I fukk any of them if the opportunity presented itself? Absolutely. Most of them are pretty damn good looking. Am I hanging out with them in hopes that one day I might get some? Absolutely NOT. I know how to recognize when this happens and I back away from the situation immediately.

That statment sounds like an oxymoron to me. You are saying you 'would' fvck them if an opportuinty presented itself but then you say that you are not hanging around in hoping to get some??? so everytime you see them and you got that image going through your head of you bending each one of them over a table and giving to them hard from behind, you keep telling yourself: "no I don't want that I don't need that because I enjoy their company but if one of them shell happen to hit on me then I will not refuse their advances"?? It sounds to me like you are in denial of your urges and you put pseduo label of "friend" on any girl you haven't fvcked yet but hope to do so. I don't even understand the meaning of the word "opportuinty"? are you waiting for some green light? because you should make your own opportuinties and not wait for them.

This begs the question: if you don't see yourself as one of their girlfriend and think they are so great to be in your company because they make great friends, then why haven't you pushed for more?? I mean sh1t that is the best of both world's where you can find a girl that you are happy to hang around with and happy to fvck with.

That's why I have a hard time understanding why a lot of guys have such a problem with having women as friends.

This statment sounded like me before I founded this site. It made me realise that women don't make good friends that they are alot more callous and self absorbed then men are (which explains why every girl on this planet had another girl backstab her). Last time I was sitting with a group of women they all blab about stuff I really couldn't care for and I wanted to stab my hand with a fork.I find that if I spend most of the day with a woman I find attractive and not end up fvcking her , I feel as if I wasted my day and have nothing to show for. There was nothing in that day that made me feel like a man because there nothing to strive for nor have I gained any experience that was worthy to me as a man that I can use in the future for my benefit.

 

[Drum&Bass]

i'm friends with 1 girl who gives me advice on living a good life, she also does things to help me succeed, when ever theres nothing to talk about we stop talking, i don't think she's gay, but definitely not the typical girl..men can be friends with women who share the same interests regarding careers, rock climbing, gym partner, art etc..

I'm an illustrator, so its easy for me to spend hours of my day working with a woman who is a graphic designer, we combine our skills to make a product we will both profit from (and be proud of)..you need to be able to enjoy the other persons company in order to be comfortable enough to give your greatest effort.

just like with my guy friends the brunt of our relationship is the ability to be productive.

telling a few jokes and being able to count on each other for small favors and give advice on jobs, life and people stems from a productive friendship and working well as a team.

would i fukc some of these women yes but i don't (or they won't fcuk me) because the nature of our productive relationship will change to a non-productive relationship (its not always easy because we're human but if your strong to hold back the primal urges a happy lasting friendship is possible)...it sounds mechanical but it really isn't there is sexual tension now and then but its just men and women lovingly being productive with each other accomplishing a non-sexual goal, which is very fulfilling..

 

[joekerr31]

i have 1 woman who is a close friend.
i probably have 10 women who are 'friends' with the typical male-female convo - open and honest, but the truth is it aint the same kind of convo that they have with their female friends. they subtely flirt and play games and there aint nothing you can do to get them to stop - its nature.

as for men and women being friends - it can happen, but its rare. most guys, if they like a woman enough to enjoy being friends with her - end up wanting to f*ck her. and i should say the vice versa tends to be true also.

men who have a lot of female friends - and not just buddies, but friends as in people they do stuff with on a regular basis - i've observed are typically affeminate types of men.

they tend not to relate all that well to their male buddies. the male buddies they do have tend to be like them as well and have more female friends also.

theres nothing wrong with this at all. and it doesn't necessarily mean such men are gay / bi. it typically just means they are more sensitive than your average man and enjoy more being around the fanciful light hearted conversation women typically have as opposed to the foul mouthed, opinionated convo men tend to have.

there are also guys who have more female friends merely because they've learned that its a great way to get laid with other chics. for A LOT of guys this is their primarily motivation.

personally id love to have more female friends but they are just too damn sensitive. its impossible to speak your mind freely with them and not have them get upset with you. a strong man cannot have to many female friends because either he will end up fighting with them all the time OR they end up wanting to f*ck his brains out.

every chic i've been "friends" has ended up wanting to bang me.

 

[DoubleA]

Most of my friends and acquaintances happen to be women.

Written by STR8UP

R U Trying 2 B Funny?!?

Come on man! You are your worst ememy!!

I can honestly say this isn't a real issue. Grab ya balls and do it.

Make a choice.

If you hit one... Hit that ass like you're going to jail, Because most females can't keep their SHUT.

My 2 cents. On the Cell..

Peace

 

[grinder]

STR8UP’s got something figured out that some on here just don’t get:

WOMEN ARE FUN!

I can’t speak for all women but of the ones I know, the raunchiest, funniest jokes I ever heard comes from them, not my buds.

Tittyman wants to know what we talk about, seriously: No sh*t: frequently, boogers, farts, color of puke after a night of drinking.

When I greet my male buds we say “Hey d*ckhead” or something. We may shake hands, but that's it. When I greet some of my female friends, we grab each other, kiss, and punch each other. My favorite greeting is to get in an ear and hair pulling contest which is funny as hell.

Do some of you REALLY think they sit around and watch Ophra all day and just gossip?

My point is by thinking of women as either someone to ONLY fvck or marry or both you limit yourselves, you are missing out on a lot of fun. And yes, fvcking is only a few minutes away from a fun bout of wrestling; and to me, this feels more natural than some of the hors*t methods spouted here.

You create artificial barriers between you and them. You are MORE likely to put them on that pedestal if you narrow your view of them.

 

[joekerr31]

ear and hair pulling contest? how old are you? 16?

 

[grinder]

ear and hair pulling contest? how old are you? 16?

47

You're never too old to play.

 

[joekerr31]

i suppose.

when one of your buddies starts dating a new girl do you go 'frankie adn sallie sitting in a tree. k-i-s-s-i-n-g. first comes love. then comes marriage. then come baby in the baby carriage."

 

[DJDamage]

A strong man cannot have to many female friends because either he will end up fighting with them all the time OR they end up wanting to f*ck his brains out.

Exectly. That is when you know you are doing things right -when women don't want to just be friends but actually want you to fvck them. You can not negotiate attraction or curb attraction . Attraction is either there or not and that is a healthy relationship between a male and a female. If there is an attraction and you don't go for it but just hang around it can't be healthy.

 

[grinder]

i suppose.

when one of your buddies starts dating a new girl do you go 'frankie adn sallie sitting in a tree. k-i-s-s-i-n-g. first comes love. then comes marriage. then come baby in the baby carriage."

I know playing with women like kids seems infantile, but the fact that you don’t understand this is not surprising. No, I’m not picking on you, because if you do a search of this forum looking for ways of playing with women you won’t find much.

So if most of your knowledge is confined to this and other forums then the concept of how to play with women will seem alien to you. And people throw rocks at what they don’t understand.

Having fun with and playing with lots of women is not mutually exclusive to being a man and recognizing when you spark attraction in a woman and then acting on it immediately and without thought or planning. You know, spontaneity??

I don’t have the time to go into all the psychological things that happen to a woman when you pick her up, throw her across your shoulder, and spin her around ‘til your both dizzy. Are you trying to say this is a BAD thing?? Surely you know it can never ever never ever be a bad thing.

I’m trying to show you something here that is not posted anywhere else here; so open your eyes and your mind. Have some fun.

 

[cordoncordon]

What could you possibly have in common with that many different women? I could see one that you have a deep friendship with that has developed over the years. But as many as you say? Something is going on there deeper than what you wrote about. You are either trying to get into their pants, or you maybe a closet homosexual. I'm not trying to make fun of you with that remark, but men and women simply do NOT have that much in common where as a normal heterosexual man you would want to spend that much time with that many different women.

I mean put it this way. 99% of my women acquaintences tell me they prefer spending time with men over women. Mainly due to most women's shallowness, immaturity, *****iness, callousness, etc etc etc. They tell me men are much more laid back, easy going, less serious minded etc. What do you talk about? Sewing? Listening to them talk about other men?

Dude, this just blows my mind to see you make a statement like that. I cannot imagine for ONE second every thinking that way.

Just wow.

 

[joekerr31]

I know playing with women like kids seems infantile, but the fact that you don’t understand this is not surprising. No, I’m not picking on you, because if you do a search of this forum looking for ways of playing with women you won’t find much. .

hehe. read my past posts, hardly any of it is about playing women.

i suppose my conflicting views on a male state where in he is able to play 'pull each others ears and hairs' with a woman is not so much that there is anything inherently wrong with that, but rather that such mindframe is atypical of traits a man should have in order to be successful in the world.

if you are able to be a strong focused successful man in the business world and then come home and act like a 16 year old with your woman - great. the only guys i've ever seen who can do that are guys who are actually immature at work as well.

i believe that the reality of life is that men must shed their juvenile traits in order to actualize their potential. it doesnt mean you cant be laid back at times or have fun tickling your gf.

but pulling her hair and ears?!!! that level of childish play is typical in men who haven't grown up and gone through their warrior phase (ie. take on the world and making something of himself). OR, its reflective of a man who HAS gone through that phase, succeeded, and is now relaxing and coating through the last quarter.

I bust my ass in the gym, at work, etc. - im trying to build a better life. yes, i can relax and fool around and joke etc. - but not at the level that i act like a 6 year old. the cognitive mind set that im in 90% of my day in order to get to where i want to get overrides that state of mind.

who knows, maybe if i had kids id think differently. but to be honest, i STILL think the years of pulling a girls hair are behind me (unless im behind her in bed that is and she has a pony tail).

hehe.

at the end of the day to each their own. but i do stick to my view that men between 20-40 (id argue 20-60) who have mostly female friends have some kind of issues with their own gender. and what ive noticed is they typically tend to be immature or overly sensitive gents.

 

[STR8UP]

That statment sounds like an oxymoron to me. You are saying you 'would' fvck them if an opportuinty presented itself but then you say that you are not hanging around in hoping to get some??? so everytime you see them and you got that image going through your head of you bending each one of them over a table and giving to them hard from behind, you keep telling yourself: "no I don't want that I don't need that because I enjoy their company but if one of them shell happen to hit on me then I will not refuse their advances"?? It sounds to me like you are in denial of your urges and you put pseduo label of "friend" on any girl you haven't fvcked yet but hope to do so. I don't even understand the meaning of the word "opportuinty"? are you waiting for some green light? because you should make your own opportuinties and not wait for them.

So what you are telling me is that once you have decided that you would sex a chick, that precludes you from having a friendship with her because every time you look at her you would want to jump on top of her? My brain must not be wired that way because I can say to myself "Yea, she's attractive, I would fukk her" and not have to worry about popping a woody every time I'm around her.

Now a chick I am INTERESTED in or very much ATTRACTED TO, that's a different story. I wouldn't kick most of my lady friends out of bed, but at the same time if I'm not "hot" for her it really doesn't matter either way.

It's almost like some guys have a switch that gets flipped when he is attracted to a chick that once it is tripped prevents him from looking at her in anything other than a sexual manner. Maybe I'm not as sexual of a person, but I just don't think that way.

There's a difference between "would fukk" and "want to fukk". If I WANT to fukk a chick and put some effort into it, I'm not going to sit around and get chummy with her hoping that one day it happens. That's the difference.

 

[mrRuckus]

ere was nothing in that day that made me feel like a man because there nothing to strive for nor have I gained any experience that was worthy to me as a man that I can use in the future for my benefit.

Damn you don't have to accomplish something every day.

 

[STR8UP]

i have 1 woman who is a close friend.
i probably have 10 women who are 'friends' with the typical male-female convo - open and honest, but the truth is it aint the same kind of convo that they have with their female friends. they subtely flirt and play games and there aint nothing you can do to get them to stop - its nature.

I get the same thing. I believe I already mentioned that there is some form of sexual tension between me and most of my lady friends....I'm not denying that.

So you are saying that you have 10 women friends? That's quite a few. I never said I was best buds with a whole bunch of women. I said I was friends or acquaintances of them.

men who have a lot of female friends - and not just buddies, but friends as in people they do stuff with on a regular basis - i've observed are typically affeminate types of men.

they tend not to relate all that well to their male buddies. the male buddies they do have tend to be like them as well and have more female friends also.

Well, I'm pretty much anything but affeminate, and my close male friends probably don't have as many female friends as I do, but I could see where that might be the case with some men who have a lot of women friends.

theres nothing wrong with this at all. and it doesn't necessarily mean such men are gay / bi. it typically just means they are more sensitive than your average man and enjoy more being around the fanciful light hearted conversation women typically have as opposed to the foul mouthed, opinionated convo men tend to have.

Last night I had dinner with my business partner (male) and four women. If I were a fly on the wall I would not have had a better front row seat to see how raunchy women are. One chick was talking about her one night stand last week, another was talking about her ex had some kind of mental disorder and used to pull out all of his pubes (and I just met her last night). Another I had pictures of from new years eve sucking on a dildo. We all got a kick out of that. Nothing lighthearted about it! Very entertaining to say the least.

there are also guys who have more female friends merely because they've learned that its a great way to get laid with other chics. for A LOT of guys this is their primarily motivation.

I will be the first to admit that I DEFINITELY enjoy that benefit, although that isn't my primary motivation.

personally id love to have more female friends but they are just too damn sensitive. its impossible to speak your mind freely with them and not have them get upset with you. a strong man cannot have to many female friends because either he will end up fighting with them all the time OR they end up wanting to f*ck his brains out.

I don't know how many of them want to fukk me (probably more than I realize....the "grapevine" hints to that fact) but I don't fight with any of them. We are usually partying or hanging out in a group. I don't get down and dirty with the serious discussions with most of them.

 

[STR8UP]

If there is an attraction and you don't go for it but just hang around it can't be healthy.

Depends upon the level of attraction. If it's enough to make you sit around hoping to get some one day, THAT'S BAD. But if it's the kind where you tell yourself, "Eh, I'd hit it if she were naked in my bed" then what's the problem?

Most women don't really "do it for me" to the point where I would put any effort into seducing them. I can look at them and say "She's attractive, I would have sex with her" but it doesn't light my loins on fire to the point where I would waste my time trying to sex her.