Most obvious come-on that was missed

[slitherjef]

While working I had a customer come up to cash a check. I noticed it was from a resturant from down the road. I mentioned that I been wanting to try out the dinner she works at. She tells me that I should stop on in. She would hook me up with a shake, "even though they cost about 5 bucks". I tell her okay.

I never do. D'oh!? Not yet.

I don't go. Two weeks pass by and she is in my line again. Same deal. She offers me a free shake. Buy now, my friends get wind of this and try to help me out. I kept making excuses, like, I don't know where to take her on a date or anyting, I don't even have a car. They said they would help me out, even friggin drive my ass!

Once again, I don't go. D'Oh!? Um... still not yet.

Once more, she is back in my line asking why I have not come down to collect the shake. Offer is still on the table.

WTF is wrong with me?

Once again, I don't go. D'oh!? Yup. Strike 3, yeeeer OUT!! I don't see her any more

 

[SomethingClever]

I was on a first date with this chick i've been talkin to for a week or so. She was all over me, she kept touching me, and later that night she was like "It's soo cold". This was when i was still getting the hang of things. I didn't even make fun of her for using that line. I was such a sucker.

 

[HandyAndy]

THis stuff is hilarious

 

[navyseal2101]

Forgot one beggining of this summer. It was about 1 week into summer and this girl I was "gaming" (I had been learning to be a DJ for about 2 weeks at the time) offered to drive me home. It was 10 o'clock at night. We are having a great time, shes EXTREMELY HOT. Infact thats more or less what I was thinking about at the time. She is telling me she just dumped her BF and im totally not caring and looking at her legs which are btw niiice. She says shes looking for someone new and close (We established I live 30 sec. walking from her.). She askes if I need to stop for anything, at this time we are really in the middle of nowhere and I reply with, "Nothings around here, what would we stop for?" She goes "...Yea, idk what I was thinking..." And I tell her to continue what she was saying before. We get to my house and wait in the drive fo like 20 sec. We kinda just waited around, she looked like she was going to say something so I kinda waited, then I said, "K, thanks for the drive" and did a "Fonz" pointing thing to her. She laughed and left. I get inside and go over everything. At work she showed me where she lived and where her room was. Her parents were gone all week. I started putting it together in my head as I took a shower. When it hit me I was happy for like a second then pissed. Thing is I didn't blow it with her yet, I number closed at end of summer (Didn't do anything all summer with her), but built a good rapport with her and now we got B-Day plans. We'll see how this goes. If she reads this i'm kinda screwed though. Does anybody else feel like if they post something about someone they are going to read it or is it just me? I left some things out incase she reads, but there was more and yes, I missed bigger cues during the car ride.

 

[aussiegoat55]

Girl I know calls me up to ask me out to a movie. She works as a caregiver for a mentally deficient guy. She has to take care of him when his parents are away.

So we go to the movie and she gets this guy to sit in the row right in front of us and we sit behind him. He is quiet and watches the movie. She leans over to me and says. I don't want him to see us doing anything because he doesn't understand certain adult things and will tell his parents. I think, what are we going to be doing? I thought we came to see a movie. Needless to say I never made a move.

Part way thought the movie she said, if you put your arm around me and he turns around make sure you remove it so he doesn't see. Once again I was clueless and just sat there watching the movie.

So the movie is over and she invites me back to the empty house she is living at as a caregiver. The parents are away for the weekend. She puts the guy to bed and asks me to hang around. After he is in bed she comes and sits down with me on the couch.

We chatted about some stuff and after a while she brings up sex. So how often do you get it? and how do you like it? etc.

I chatted a bit about it and then the conversation moved on to other things and suddenly she was tired and wanted me to leave.

Believe it or not I never got the hint from her.

WOW!!! I'm speechless.

 

[BirdofParadise]

This thread has endured well over the past five or six years. Great stuff.

The following opportunity didn't escape my attention but I didn't take advantage of it:

Last Saturday (about a week ago) I was supposed to attend an informal wedding reception/open house for my female friend A and her husband, B, with whom I'm slightly chummy with but not really. They had gotten married in Vegas back in May and were holding the event for everybody that couldn't make it there. Anyway, about five hours before the wedding I get a call from A saying that the reception is off. Barely pausing, she asks if I want to do something that night. I assume she means both A and B and I, but she says quite explicitly, "No, just me." I figure what the hell and say sure.

After I hang up, I suddenly realize how off the whole situation is. Way back in high school, A had a couple times alluded to having the hots for me. I wasn't really interested in her so I just let the subject die. Now I'm thinking, What if...? scenarios. I figure she'll call back at some point and cancel, but she calls back only to reconfirm.

She stops by at 8, smelling strongly of perfume and her hair is already done. I ask her what's going on and she says "B and I are getting separated" and goes into this spiel about how she's liked this one guy for ages and still feels the same about him. She's like a ***** in heat looking deeply into my eyes and I assumed she was talking about me, but I can't bring myself to screw over B like that. Anyway, we go to a bar across the street and for the next hour she's saying how she needs to find a place to live, and do I like living by myself, and B "probably thinks the two of us are f*cking." Then questions about the kinds of girls I go for. And I'm just feeling awkward and eventually she gets it. I just wasn't attracted to her, which is too bad, but at least I can tell myself I made the ethical choice. Sigh.

 

[HandyAndy]

sorry mistake

 

[HandyAndy]

So I promptly threw up my "black power" fist (that's how i greet people), and SPED OUT OF THE FOOD COURT.

...[/QUOTE]

HAHJAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

 

[HandyAndy]

k im such an idiot (but i was also pretty trashed) i was sitting on this girls lap and she asked if i wanted an ice cube, i looked at her and said sure. then she stuck out her tongue and the ice cube was on it. aaaannnddd whhhattt ddiiidd iiii dooo,




i picked it up with my fingers.


ooh goooodddd

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[HandyAndy]

The girl comes out in a towel:

Her: Im leaving the door unlocked*she enters the bathroom* incase anything happens.
Her: Oh and my dad aint gonna be home all night*starts taking a bath*

5 min later

Her: Hey ******* can you come in here.
Me: Uhhhh ok....
Her: *completly naked in the bath tub* could you give me a nice back scrub.
Her: *starts to moan while i give her the back scrub*
Me: I finish and leave.
Her: Thats it?
Me: Uhh yeah why?(i hate my self)

1 hour later

Her: You know im scared of my windows could you sleep with me in my bed tonight you can keep me arm and safe.
Me: Nah ill sleep in the couch.(slaps himself just by thinking it)

omg......:cuss:

 

[ValleyDJing]

Worked with this girl at Starbucks for awhile who I referred to as "a goddess" to my coworkers at my other job when I talked to her. She was the perfect girl (in my eyes), and no qualms about putting her on a pedestal...even going so far as to feeling lucky to even having the opportunity to breathe the same air as her when we worked together. She found out from a third-party source that I considered her a "goddess", and things were awkward for me from that day forth. I don't think she even really cared, as she was pretty easy-going. A couple months later, I stopped in to work and our birthday (yes, it's the same). Before I ordered my drink she was just like, "Here, Matt...I made you a flower for you. Happy Birthday!" and she gives me this origami flower type deal that she made out of a drink sleeve and a pen. Pretty cool, but I didn't think anything of it.

Cut to a year and half later or so...she doesn't work at the store anymore, and I left, and then came back. She got a job next door so I see her ever so often when she gets a drink. This OTHER girl I worked with (now my current gf) that is friends with her decides to throw a small house party and I was invited...but so was the goddess. I almost didn't go because I didn't want to be in close quarters with her, but I decided just to say "Screw it." and went. I just desperately tried to put myself in the friend zone ASAP so it wouldn't be awkward, but I kind of connected with my current gf. A couple of weeks ago I found out that the whole reason that my gf invited both of us was that the goddess wanted me, and wanted to hook us up.

Sorry so long, but it's a chapter that I'll probably regret for the rest of my life.

So wait, your gf wanted you to f.uck her? If thats true, thats a hella cool gf.

 

[[S]alvatore]

I'm assuming they weren't together when that happened.

 

[CanuckinSK]

A few embarassing times come to mind...

In my mid 20's, I had a coc*tease co-worker who would invite me over for drinks on the Saturday when her hubby was working. We never did anything, but she had a neighbor friend who would come over and she had a 19 yo daughter. Not a beauty, but she had a smokin' body as she had been a cheerleader in HS.

I knew she liked me as my co-worker said she referred to me as a fox. Apparently, she confided in my cw that she couldn't make her last BF ***, no matter what she did. Frustrated, she was obviously looking for a guinea pig to try out to see if she'd lost her mojo.

The first time she met me, she started rubbing my neck and shoulders on the pretext that I appeared 'tense'. On another occasion, she'd tell me about having sex on the beach (not the drink) and her fav positions. Another time she sat in my lap and kept wiggling her butt into my groin. All these times, I did absolutely nothing! Then she'd walk away saying 'what's wrong with me' (she meant herself, not me). She eventually gave up and just chalked me up as 'weird'.

Went to look at a used car one time. Requested to the owner that I have it checked at the dealer before I'd make an offer. We met there, and she (hot little brunette) suggested we have lunch at a nearby restaurant where her sister worked while the car was being inspected.

I declined, saying I'd like to talk to the mechanic as he checked the car over. Oh did she get pissed! I offered to drive her to the restaurant, but she said no way and called a cab instead. End result, the car had some problems, but she wouldn't budge on the price, put her nose in the air, turned on her heel and stormed off. Crazy little b*tch...

Was at a friends BBQ one time, and was talking a bit to his wife just before everyone left. She said I should come over and visit sometime, and the hubby didn't have to be there when I came over. Never did go over, found out a couple months later their marriage was on the rocks because she started cheating on him.

Had a medical done one time, and the lab tech asked me if I played football in younger days, as I had broad shoulders, muscles, right build for it, yadda, yadda. Told me her ex-hubby was built like me, but she gave him the boot awhile ago, said she lives alone now. After the medical, I just thanked her politely and left. DOH!!

 

[MicCheck1-2]

I wish I had a chick would come-on to me.

You guys are complaining about girls coming on to you. I wish that would even happen to me.

 

[JLR]

A few embarassing times come to mind...

In my mid 20's, I had a coc*tease co-worker who would invite me over for drinks on the Saturday when her hubby was working. We never did anything, but she had a neighbor friend who would come over and she had a 19 yo daughter. Not a beauty, but she had a smokin' body as she had been a cheerleader in HS.

I knew she liked me as my co-worker said she referred to me as a fox. Apparently, she confided in my cw that she couldn't make her last BF ***, no matter what she did. Frustrated, she was obviously looking for a guinea pig to try out to see if she'd lost her mojo.

The first time she met me, she started rubbing my neck and shoulders on the pretext that I appeared 'tense'. On another occasion, she'd tell me about having sex on the beach (not the drink) and her fav positions. Another time she sat in my lap and kept wiggling her butt into my groin. All these times, I did absolutely nothing! Then she'd walk away saying 'what's wrong with me' (she meant herself, not me). She eventually gave up and just chalked me up as 'weird'.

Went to look at a used car one time. Requested to the owner that I have it checked at the dealer before I'd make an offer. We met there, and she (hot little brunette) suggested we have lunch at a nearby restaurant where her sister worked while the car was being inspected.

I declined, saying I'd like to talk to the mechanic as he checked the car over. Oh did she get pissed! I offered to drive her to the restaurant, but she said no way and called a cab instead. End result, the car had some problems, but she wouldn't budge on the price, put her nose in the air, turned on her heel and stormed off. Crazy little b*tch...

Was at a friends BBQ one time, and was talking a bit to his wife just before everyone left. She said I should come over and visit sometime, and the hubby didn't have to be there when I came over. Never did go over, found out a couple months later their marriage was on the rocks because she started cheating on him.

Had a medical done one time, and the lab tech asked me if I played football in younger days, as I had broad shoulders, muscles, right build for it, yadda, yadda. Told me her ex-hubby was built like me, but she gave him the boot awhile ago, said she lives alone now. After the medical, I just thanked her politely and left. DOH!!

Unfortunately I can relate to all your examples.. What do you think it is (was)? Something pathological about some of us (at soem points in our lives) where we are so scared we can't react to female aggression?

 

[CanuckinSK]

Unfortunately I can relate to all your examples.. What do you think it is (was)? Something pathological about some of us (at soem points in our lives) where we are so scared we can't react to female aggression?

Well, in my case, I've been guilty of misinterpreting female signals and thinking it was just them being 'friendly'. I never thought that these chicks would actually want me, so I convinced myself their intentions were merely 'friendly', and nothing more.

I still don't react well to female aggression; just sort of freeze up, or smile stupidly, embarrasing really.

 

[CanuckinSK]

I wish I had a chick would come-on to me.

You guys are complaining about girls coming on to you. I wish that would even happen to me.

Maybe some are sending signals to you. We guys can be pretty dense at times and miss a lot of what women are really saying to us.

 

[kdnash82]

Might as well add mine. I got a few because I'm a damn idiot. Most of these were in high school before I actually figured out that girls like and think about sex just as much as guys.

I must have been in the 10th grade. I had a license but no car. I was also in the band (don't laugh). Well there was a girl that lived around the corner from me, and she offered to give me a ride home so I wouldn't have to wait on my dad to pick me up (don't laugh).

After the game is over, I take my trumpet back in the hall and change back into my clothes. I hang around for a minute and say good bye to all my friends. I then head to her car. I wait... and wait.. and wait... After about an hour she finally comes to her car and is like "OMG... have you been waiting the whole time? I'm sooo sorry." and gives me a hug. We hop in the car and small talk on the way home. She's still aplogizing. We get to my place and she's like,

Her: I really wanna make it up to you. How bout we go to Wendy's and get something to eat. My treat.

Me: Nawww.. it's no big deal. Maybe someother time.
Her: Well.. I still feel really bad. Why don't you come over to my house and watch a movie with me.
Me: Naww.. Thanks though. I really appreciate you taking me home
Her: Are you sure.
Me: *as I'm walking off* yeah.. take care. see you at school on monday.

I still kick myself when I think about that night.

 

[kdnash82]

Same girl different day.

I'm a senior at this point. Still no car. (don't laugh) All the times this girl has dropped me off, I have not once asked her to come in. She has probably been to my house a million times and not once stepped foot inside.

So this one day as she's dropping me off, she goes "Why don't you give me a tour of your place?" I'm an excited dork and say "Sure"

So we head inside. My computer is on, and it's my music source. I had this surround sound system on my computer, at a time when they were only popular on home stereo systems. Plus this was at a time where downloading music off the internet was just catching on. Anyway, I had a bunch of songs, and she sat there in awe looking at my playlist.

Finally she decides on a song. It's a slow one. Does my brain get any ideas. Nope. *she just likes this song* So, on with the tour. I show her the backyard, bar area, already saw the living room, bathroom, and my bedroom. Not expecting company so the bed was a mess. Nothing was on the floor though. Then finally dad's room.

Still nothing clicks in my head. So being the dork that I am, I finish the tour all proud and start to head back to the living room. You can still hear the music playing, and it goes on to another song which is also slow. As I'm walking back, she grabs my hand and pulls me back. I turn around and look into her eyes and the words out of my mouth were "What's wrong?"

She looked at me for a second. Bit her lip, then shook her head and said "nothing" and started walking back toward the living room. We sat there for a minute, then she said she had to go.

If only there were time machines.

 

[Just Another Guy....]

There was this girl I just met and we were wandering around campus getting free stuff from campus clubs one day, and they handed her a bag, and she went digging through it and pulled out a condom that was in there.

She said.... "They gave me a condom?!?!?!!?"
I immediately thought WE SHOULD PUT IT TO USE. But, I just smiled and laughed.


God I'm an idiot.