This HB9 who was my 'cool' mates first ever LTR for like 3 years and he was hers came back from thailand for a while and i started seeing her about in the towns bars etc...anyway i would always chat to her - usualy about how cool i am and how girls love me and stuff and she would tell me im cool etc etc.
Anyway - it got to the "hey how are you gimmie a kiss and a hug" phase pretty quickly and one nite i was sitting at home having got her number of a mate...realy realy realy wanting to call her and see if she wanted to come out...but i chickened out...shed been out quite a bit and i suspetced that it would be overkill/she would have another plan for the nite and it would just be arquad...so i didnt call. Nite wears on and my phone rings..its her/
She doesnt know i have her number so i just say 'hello?' shes like 'hi Cdamage?' im like 'Oh Hi hotbird' .. impressed her with my voice recognition skills
Anyway she says 'hey come to the pub' im like..hmmm alrite...cya in a few.
I get there -
Sit down with HB9, my ex's best mate and her boyfriend (we all know each otehr from school). HB9 Gets up and STRADDLES MY LEG - full on straddalaage people! Leans in realy close to me with her gorgous hair falling all around our faces and whispers to me 'do you have any weed' ("shal we go outside and smoke some"). She was cms from my face...she is beutiful...shes straddling my leg. I just sit there and come out with some pseudo cool BS - like 'yeah wadda ya say you me, big spliff' or something....and didnt jam my toungue in her mouth.
so i slept alone that nite.
Another time id ended up back at some girls realy plush house with this girl who had decided she wanted me and the girl who owned the house. Anyway id been off im the garden getting in there with the fingers with this girl who was loving it. Her mate comes out, they start kissing each other a bit infront of me....to which i did nothing but stare and grin.
So then we end up on house owners bed all 3 of us...drinking wine with the girl who owns the house now lying with her head resting on my chest...Anyway...after about 20 minutes i excused myself and girl no 1 to go back to her house and bang. When we left they were both talking about how the girl who owned the house would have to make do with chocolate now she wasnt gonna get sex that nite.
I deserve to be shot