Minimun System Requirements for a Cool Chick

[Reloader]

Let me explain the subject. I've been learning a lot about attraction and dating for the past year(DYD, MM). I for the most part have my life together with a job, money, looks, personality and social activities. Still no girl yet.

So what is the minimum things that you need in your head and in your life to really connect with a cool chick? Is it C+F, good body language, voice tone, being spontaneous, building great comfort, great conversation and having a lot of things to do on the weekend? Is there something else missing?

 

[ARK]

I would say the big thing is confidence.

 

[Centaurion]

I am a firm believer that as long as you have your sh!t down (got a job, social life, hobbies etc...), and you are perfectly happy WITHOUT chicks, you will get chicks. At least that is how it works for me. I don't actively go out and search for chicks, I go on passive sonar. I concentrated on what I find interesting and chicks just pop up.

 

[whistler]

Yeah, what they ^ said. And realize that cool (ie, hot) chicks usually have one thing more than you: A huge fvckin ego.

Also, check this thread by Crowes that Jariel just bumped:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16905

 

[MicCheck1-2]

Life isn't fair. Just because you have all those qualities STILL doesn't mean you'll be able to pull a girl. Maybe girls just aren't for you. Sorry.

 

[Reloader]

Yeah good stuff, I agree with confidence and not needing a chick in your life to be happy. I know chicks but I guess I really don't connect with them well. Maybe building great rapport is also needed in the equation?

 

[Caldus]

There is no equation ... get out there and get experience. I'm in the bootcamp and even though all I'm doing is doing eye contacts and hi's, I'm already starting to a) feel more confident b) get more receptive replies from females.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Looks and experiance.

If you take care of your appearance (dress well, have a killer body that makes her wet as soon as she sees your without a shirt), then you do not need DYD, C&F and so on in order to build attraction. You've already pushed her attraction buttons, and you just need to close.

Experiance is important because through experiance you really learn what works and what doesn't. DYD, MM, etc advices wont work for everybody because each person is different. It is up to you to go into the field, practice everything, learn what works (and make it a part of your game), learn what doesn't (and never make the same mistake again). Much like any other accomplishment, game is not built through reading about it, it's built from doing it.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Whoever said looks is a factor... you guys should know better.

As far as a woman is concerned, so long as you meet a bare minimum in the looks department your personality will take you the rest of the way.

It's not even about experience, because 'experience teaches thoroughly, but her special wisdom finds itself wasted on dead men. That, and experience is like fashion what works today will be unworkable and impractical tomorrow.'

All that you can get out of experience is the confidence that you can handle the approach, and all situations that come with it. I'm not saying forget about experience, but know that even experience has limitations.

What you want is congruency. All that means is that your words, attitudes, voice tone, and body language are all saying the same thing. That is a big part of the picture, you can get away with ALOT if you are congruent... I watched a former coworker walk out of a liquor store with a free 40oz of Crown Royal just for talking to the manager in a congruent way. (to simplify the story)

Reloader, how many women have you approached in the past week?

How did you approach? What did you say? How did you say it? How did she react? What did she say to what you said? Did she brush you off, or give you the cold shoulder? Was she receptive or closed?

These are the details that are needed to give good advice as to what might be holding you back. I suggest finding a good NLP book, and do the exercises related to ending limiting beliefs.

 

[Caldus]

Originally posted by So pimp its scary
Whoever said looks is a factor... you guys should know better.

As far as a woman is concerned, so long as you meet a bare minimum in the looks department your personality will take you the rest of the way.

It's not even about experience, because 'experience teaches thoroughly, but her special wisdom finds itself wasted on dead men. That, and experience is like fashion what works today will be unworkable and impractical tomorrow.'

All that you can get out of experience is the confidence that you can handle the approach, and all situations that come with it. I'm not saying forget about experience, but know that even experience has limitations.

What you want is congruency. All that means is that your words, attitudes, voice tone, and body language are all saying the same thing. That is a big part of the picture, you can get away with ALOT if you are congruent... I watched a former coworker walk out of a liquor store with a free 40oz of Crown Royal just for talking to the manager in a congruent way. (to simplify the story)

Reloader, how many women have you approached in the past week?

How did you approach? What did you say? How did you say it? How did she react? What did she say to what you said? Did she brush you off, or give you the cold shoulder? Was she receptive or closed?

These are the details that are needed to give good advice as to what might be holding you back. I suggest finding a good NLP book, and do the exercises related to ending limiting beliefs.

Good post I'll keep that in mind.

I think that approaching in the first place of course is pretty important.

 

[Reloader]

So pimp, been busy so I haven't approached that many girls this week. Most of the approaches have been good, I haven't been shot down yet. I agree with congruency, so that's just going to take time to get everything in harmony. I'll skip the NLP though, I've got my hand full with DYD, MM and Badboy. Appreciate the input, definately experience with girls helps a lot with being able to communicate with chicks.

 

[McKindley]

I forget who said it, either Charlie Parker, or John Coltrane, but he was talking about music one day. The "minimum system requirements," as you would call it, to be a great musician.

He said, "you have to learn all the rules. And then forget them."

I KNOW this to be true of becoming a great musician. I figure the same could be true of attraction. Its not about thinking, "I need x amount of confidence, somewhere between confident and arrogant, and y amount of looks. . . "

Its probably more about learning how it all works, and then intuiting it. Not really thinking, "its time to use a ****y and funny remark," as much as just understanding it on a level that is beyond consciously trying to make it make sense.

Or maybe I just think about Parker and Coltrane too much.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Originally posted by So pimp its scary
Whoever said looks is a factor... you guys should know better.

As far as a woman is concerned, so long as you meet a bare minimum in the looks department your personality will take you the rest of the way.

You have no idea how wrong you are. The difference between what a girl will do for you when you pass the bare minimum in looks, and what she will do for you if she thinks you're hot is huge. Don't be lazy, go work out, get in shape, dress well, and discover this for yourself like other DJs have already.

I know what I am talking about when I say this. It comes from personal experiance.

me 5 years ago (when I was avg, or met the girls bare minimum reqs): http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/Mind_Over_Matter/Picture89.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/Mind_Over_Matter/Pic1.jpg

me now: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/Mind_Over_Matter/mindcollage.jpg

The difference between my success rates then and now is enormous. My confidence is the same it was then, as is my personality. What has changed? I went from chasing girls / numbers / dealing with flakes to having them chase me, ask me out, and me flaking out on them. I went from getting c0ckblocked by their friends, to having their friends c0ckblock them. I also do personal training, and one of my friends/female clients tells me all these stories of girls I never even met talking about me in the gym locker room and saying how they want to see me naked and all this other filthy sh!t lol. My point is, i've never talked to these girls, or gamed them, they dont' know my personality, yet they want to f*ck me.

I could give you a hundred different examples of the changes my transformation produced in the overall success of my game, but I am going to sleep instead. To be honest I'll go as far as to say that if girls think you're hot, you don't need any game.

Instead of trying to learn tricks, work on yourself, and become a prize.

 

[Oxide]

MOM, how much weight have you lost? The face looks way different now, congrats!

You are in Canada? ****ing A, my cousin lives in Montreal and if i didnt know better i'd say you and him are the same person. Similar looks and women chasing When i come visit next time ill hit you up we can go party.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by So pimp its scary
Whoever said looks is a factor... you guys should know better.

As far as a woman is concerned, so long as you meet a bare minimum in the looks department your personality will take you the rest of the way.

It's not even about experience, because 'experience teaches thoroughly, but her special wisdom finds itself wasted on dead men. That, and experience is like fashion what works today will be unworkable and impractical tomorrow.'

All that you can get out of experience is the confidence that you can handle the approach, and all situations that come with it. I'm not saying forget about experience, but know that even experience has limitations.

What you want is congruency. All that means is that your words, attitudes, voice tone, and body language are all saying the same thing. That is a big part of the picture, you can get away with ALOT if you are congruent... I watched a former coworker walk out of a liquor store with a free 40oz of Crown Royal just for talking to the manager in a congruent way. (to simplify the story)

Reloader, how many women have you approached in the past week?

How did you approach? What did you say? How did you say it? How did she react? What did she say to what you said? Did she brush you off, or give you the cold shoulder? Was she receptive or closed?

These are the details that are needed to give good advice as to what might be holding you back. I suggest finding a good NLP book, and do the exercises related to ending limiting beliefs.

I suggest you go gain 50 lbs of fat, and then report how much your success has changed.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Granted, the uglier you are, the FEWER women you will have checking you out. My next door neighbour, he is a man that is 6'2 and probably between 250-275, yet it seems every other week he's pulled a new girl.

What is difference between those of you that are fat and can't get women and my next door neighbour? It's because he DOES NOT let his weight be a factor in whether or not a woman will accept him. Now, he's not pulling 10's here, but 6-8's are not unusual.... I mean ask yourself (if your 50lbs of fat too much), have you EVER approached a woman that accepted you because you are fat? How do you go from a women meeting you, to her talking to you, to her rejecting you because you are fat? Do you reject yourself because you are fat? Are you saying that no woman has ever loved a man that was fat?

MOM - Can I ask you something? Was the situation between you stopping being needy with women (or lack of success however you would like to label it) around the same time that you started to work out?

If yes, then I wager that a change in your attitude and NOT a change in your appearance started to change your level of success. Again, I'm not saying that looks are not a factor, but if you pass her minimum looks requirement... and sometimes if you don't but really act the part you can still get some attraction going. Once you start raising her IL above a certain point it will gradually become easier as you pass her tests and everything.

Personally, I'm not ugly, but I'm no Brad Pitt either... yet I still manage to get my fair share when I'm on my game, or when I'm more preoccupied with other goals.

good night.

 

[belividere]

There has been quite a few good replys to to this thread so far. There is no equation when it comes to tossing your d1ck around.

I tend to believe nowadays that much of my successes between 16-23 were due to my social proof. I have no idea how old you are since you didnt post it but I can tell you that when I was that age most of my accomplishments were directly related to the company I kept. Basically the more people that I knew meant the more people I would meet. Simple arithematic really. At the same time slutty girls are looking for what in their lifes? Acceptance and attention.

I definetly agree with mind that once you pass the bare minimum in the looks department you will open up many doors that you hadn't thought existed beforehand. Anyone who denies that looking good will bring more attention to you has never undergone a transformation from standard to above average or beyond. In my experience, being both fit and socially experienced has laid the platform down for the easiest lays.

I thank god I didnt find this site when I was younger and think it would be an answer. I never had any support and what I thought was little experience to teach me what was right vs. wrong so I relied on fvcking up a whole lot. Drop the idea that getting girls is an algorithm and do what you would think is best for you. LEARN and then reconsider the techniques afterwards and adjust based on YOUR successes and failures.

 

[MindOverMatter]

MOM - Can I ask you something? Was the situation between you stopping being needy with women (or lack of success however you would like to label it) around the same time that you started to work out?

Where did I say was I needy? Even back then I've had girlfriends. Even when I was out of shape I hooked up, but it was DIFFERENT.

It went from the girl not even noticing me until I approached her and thinking in her head "well, he's funny and kinda cute, I'll give him a shot" to girls talking about me with their friends, trying to find out as much about me as possible and telling me "would you like my number" like a minute after opening them. My attitude was the same, yet now they wanted me more then I wanted them. Looks reversed the roles.

And my attitude had nothing to do with it. When I was out of shape, I was happy with my self and just as confident as I am now. I didn't mind being out of shape back then, figuring that I'd rather be out of shape and live well (booze, bad food etc), then be in shape and deprive myself of these things.

However the reactions I got from women then, and the reactions I get now are as different as night and day. If you want to convince yourself that you can be a fatass and as long as you have attitude you'll be pulling 9s and 10s every week, then feel free to do so bro. I'm just telling you from personal experiance, looks make everything 100x easier.

 

[So pimp its scary]

I didn't want to assume that you were needy, but for you to search out this website you clearly weren't at the level of success that you wanted. Regardless, you have helped me to prove the point that I originally wanted to make.

I never did say that a fat guy will pull 9's and 10's every week... I did say that my neighbour is still pulling 6-8's on a weekly basis. The fact is that guys like us with average looks, have to work alot harder/smarter to get a woman attracted to us, especially the 9's and 10's. You have to work to build that attraction, but once you get it... it doesn't matter how hot the woman is, she will still want to be with you because of how you make her feel.

How many times have you seen a hot chick with a plain, or even ugly dude? The answer is alot more than you see a dude with a less attractive woman....

You are right, looks do matter, but only nowhere near as much as you are implying.

Attitude is one of those things that you can't measure precisely from a week to week basis... it is always changing, adapting to circumstance and everything. I would still wager that, while you had the right attitude while you weren't quite so fit, that now you ARE fit the ****iness that you have is more congruent with yourself. Adding to your improved looks to make women go out of their way to want to be with you.

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
I'm just telling you from personal experiance, looks make everything 100x easier.

Finally a point that we agree on. Looks make everything 100x easier, even in this statement we are agreeing, because 100x easier doesn't mean that 100x harder is impossible, or even close to it.

It takes something internal for you to associate a woman is talking to me, next she will reject me because I am not good looking enough. This limiting belief will cause you to do things to sabotage your chances with the target, or to not do enough to get her attracted to you in the first place... unless you are AFC in the sense that you lose your cool everytime that a hottie walks past.

 

[DJohnson]

In order of importance, in my opinion.

1. Get your inner game straight. Do not ever beat yorself up, believe in yourself and your future down to your core. Believe that you are sexy and that women like sex and they also like you.

2. The numbers game - not phone numbers, but quantity of interactions. Talk to plenty of women and never get hung up on any one girl. Talk about ANYTHING, just important that you talk to women daily.

3. Don't be a wuss - Don't do lame manipulative **** like buy gifts and gab on the phone for hours with women.

4. Be positive and focus on the present and future. Don't dwell on the past when speaking with people, even if the past was wonderful.

5. Social Intelligence - Watch people, join clubs groups, read books like 48 laws of power and how to win friends and influence people. Learn the proven techniques that powerful socialites have.

6. Physical Appearence and Health - If you are overweight slim down, Smile, eat good foods so you feel better.

7. Have one "sure-thing" girlfriend or maybe several so that you never get whipped on any one girl.