Looking back on when this stuff happened to me, it’s amazing to recall what gymnastics I told myself to explain it
“Yeah, but perhaps she DID actually get abducted by aliens”
“I think the last 3 times she did this were just bad timing, she was busy the first time and second time her dog was sick yada yada yada”
“She’s playing hard to get”
Imagine if some fine girl was making it clear she was interested....you would be crawling through broken glass and barbed wire to make that meet up.
I’m not saying you were as pathetic as I was, but I sure did make some mental theory as to how this was possible. I was on the hook of one girl following a divorce for 6 months texting her and never really even met her, yet I was so weak then I was pulled in. It felt like a magical spell, I couldn’t even begin to look elsewhere, the more I was denied it the more I was obsessed with it (essence of game right here)
She was absolutely fine though, 10/10 and what made it worse is I knew her man was a bit of a loser. Not even a tough loser, just a loser.
Looking back, this chick was a narc and enjoyed putting me through all that, and she clearly chose a loser because a lot of narcs do. They don’t want a partner who threatens the balance of power. I only worked this out years later.
I even considered suicide and got so depressed I lost a lot of my friends (to be fair to her the divorce played its part too) and almost my job.
Bit of a rambling detour but it’s just to illustrate that yes, a. lots of women will do this for the kick and b. No they don’t care, they care as much as we do if we can lie our way to a one night stand with a girl we want to screw but not marry and c. If left unchecked, being the guy on the end of that deal can make you obsessive and depressed and it’s damn hard getting off that hook. It took over my mind for about 2 years and was akin to a heroin addiction!
It wasn’t the girl I wanted that bad, it was to win out and win the day. I’d invested so much and reaped so little. Funny how the mind works.
Does this mean doing this to girls will win the woman of your dreams? NO! It isn’t the behaviour per se that’s attractive. You have to be attractive to them in the first place. However, once that is built, it’s that dynamic that stops you getting walked over and keeps you valued.
To this day, I’m amazed by the power of walking away. Whenever my wife goes on about this and that, if it’s something I can’t change then immediately just acknowledging that it can’t work and we need to make other plans shuts things down. It’s that confidence in not needing someone and being independent of outcome that’s so powerful in many aspects of life.
