Mentoring the younger man.

[juice veteran]

i have just awoken 2 weeks ago from my slumber in the matrix for the majority of my 27 years on the planet.

any mature DJ's want to mentor me?

 

[KarmaSutra]

I have a list of questions for you to answer and they must be answered completely and honestly. I will assess your needs and generate a plan for you.

This will help me pinpoint the direction you should focus.

 

[WestCoaster]

My problem is I'm trying to mentor/change some of my married AFC friends in their 30's and 40's. To quote the movie Bull Durham, "it's utterly f---ing hopeless."

I gotta set my sights on helping the brainwashed youth. The married AFCs? Almost a lost cause. When their wives are screaming at them in front of me, I know it's even worse when I'm gone.

These guys believe the DJ principles, are too scared to implement them.

 

[Maxtro]

Once I figure out what the hell I'm doing and start getting results I would really like to mentor my youngest brother. He's 13 now and just started to notice girls. There is no way I want him to go through all the crap that I've gone through in my life.

I wonder what a man would be like if he's been trained in this stuff since his very early teens?

 

[KarmaSutra]

My problem is I'm trying to mentor/change some of my married AFC friends in their 30's and 40's. To quote the movie Bull Durham, "it's utterly f---ing hopeless."

I gotta set my sights on helping the brainwashed youth. The married AFCs? Almost a lost cause. When their wives are screaming at them in front of me, I know it's even worse when I'm gone.

These guys believe the DJ principles, are too scared to implement them.

I don't truly believe that anyone is above learning to adapt themselves and change point of view.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Once I figure out what the hell I'm doing and start getting results I would really like to mentor my youngest brother. He's 13 now and just started to notice girls. There is no way I want him to go through all the crap that I've gone through in my life.

I wonder what a man would be like if he's been trained in this stuff since his very early teens?

Take the reigns and lead your brother into the ways of the DJ. Why not be the progenitor of his maturation? Watch how it completely changes your life for the better.

 

[joekerr31]

you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

personally, aside from sosuave, i dont bother trying to help guys out unless they ask.

and the reason is that 99% of the time they take your advice and then if things dont work out EXACTLY how they hoped they blame you. when in reality they simply aren't prepared to stick with it.

its like some fat slob asking you how to get into shape. then doing ONE work out and complaining that he doesn't look like a bodybuilder.

i've learned that its a total waste of time to try and help someone who isn't ready to be helped.

 

[KarmaSutra]

you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

personally, aside from sosuave, i dont bother trying to help guys out unless they ask.

and the reason is that 99% of the time they take your advice and then if things dont work out EXACTLY how they hoped they blame you. when in reality they simply aren't prepared to stick with it.

its like some fat slob asking you how to get into shape. then doing ONE work out and complaining that he doesn't look like a bodybuilder.

i've learned that its a total waste of time to try and help someone who isn't ready to be helped.

Pretty bleak and pessimistic point of view huh brother? I understand where you come from though. It's hard pounding advice into a guys' skull until he bleeds only to watch him discard your efforts to gain her affection.

But that's the rub.

It's because men such as us take the beatings and the ridicule and fend ourselves against those who detract from our teachings to lead other men to glory. I know for a fact that Rommell didn't let the troops under his command say they weren't going to do as he instructed, otherwise they were dead men.

 

[juice veteran]

I have a list of questions for you to answer and they must be answered completely and honestly. I will assess your needs and generate a plan for you.

This will help me pinpoint the direction you should focus.

Thanks. I'll answer them as honestly as I can.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I've started mentoring 3 more brothers; A 17, 23 and a 47 year old recently divorced and lost man-boy who wants to be as unplugged from the societo-Matrix as possible. Better late than never.

I've realized that the best place to for a brother to find himself is to become self aware of his limitations. Self analyzation is the first step. That said, I am writing a test for a man to take to help prioritize his goals and heirarchically determine those issues he feels inadequate.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo General Karma,


A test, eh? That's a GREAT IDEA, man. I have found that a man's "essence" can act as a beacon of brotherly warmth, OR a flamethrower of UNBEARABLE heat, in regards to how we are perceived by others.

What I mean is that I have noticed that whenever I cast aside the defensive, combative demeanor that I must oftentimes carry in the corporate environment, and INSTEAD, project an air of openness, while RETAINING my confidence and AUTHORITATVE "manliness"------other men (AND WOMEN) tend to gravitate towards me. But for DIFFERENT REASONS of course! lol

The women are attracted to, and tend to find comfort in my confidence and calm self-assuredness. And the men are drawn to, and tend to admire my coolness under pressure, my willingness to reach out to them, and my perceived ETHICAL SUBSTANCE----which says A LOT in this world that champions NO STANDARDS of personal accountability.

Just yesterday, I saw a young cat I met a while back who looked up to me when we used to work together, and I stayed (in the grocery store) and chatted with him for awhile. He reiterated how much he had learned from me in the past, and I was able to SEE EVIDENCE in how he views things now (in SOME areas) that shows me that my presence in his life HAS made an impact. And it feels good------REWARDING, even. So what WE do “matters”. And no matter whether or not we CHOOSE to be, we ARE somebody’s ROLE MODEL------even by “accident”.

I forget WHICH news station used to have THIS advertising slogan (CNN maybe???), but when it comes to Mentoring the Younger Man, that slogan applies to all of us men whether we LIKE it or not. The slogan said:


“The WORLD is watching…”



Peace…one day.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Victory,

As I see you as one of my Mentors it's only fitting that I model my "Karmic Personal Assessment profile" in your military-ish mindset.

When you quoted: "The WORLD is watching . . ." you succinctly stated everything men need to know and put it right out in the open. A knockout punch to the face. Any interaction we have with another brother, whether as a teacher or a student, will inevitably change that person from that point on, if for only the smallest of reasons. Alas though, the change is irrefutable.

ETHICAL SUBSTANCE is a fantastic term which completely quantifies what all of us are in the game of life to win. Even though I wholeheartedly believe that " talent borrows but genius steals " this, my friend, is all yours. Perhaps a thread expounding the virtue of ETHICAL SUBSTANCE is appropriate?

General Karma out.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Recently, I have been reminded that a greater sense of fulfillment can actually come not JUST from living "for yourself", but rather, by also living BEYOND yourself...

So I was wondering if anybody has anything NEW they'd like to report on this particular Battle Front???



Peace...today.

 

[MikeYikes122]

This thread kind of frustrates me. I want to mentor other guys and offer advice to them, but I don't know how to go about it.

I have tons of AFC friends. Just the other night, I was eating dinner with a friend who told me he "really needs a girlfriend badly". I kind of just rolled my eyes and said "Oh" not knowing how I'm supposed to respond to something that lame. I didn't want to encourage him, but I also didn't want to overstep my bounds and offer him advice that would possibly upset him. He tried to ask me how I was doing with women and if I had a girlfriend, but I just changed the subject because he wouldn't even have understood my response, that I was semi-dating a couple of different girls but keeping my options open. To make matters worse, the guy is about 30 pounds overweight and has no confidence at all. All the girls in our high school were obsessed with him back in the day, but he didn't have the confidence to parlay his looks into a great deal of success with girls, so he instead ended up with a couple of girlfriends who had the balls to approach him. Now, he is overweight and not nearly as attractive as he once was, so he can't use his looks to attract women anymore. He is a fish out of water, and he is a sad, sad sight.

There's another friend I have who needs advice and is borderline depressed over his lack of success with women. I tried to offer him advice once when he was going out on a first date with a girl he'd met at a restaurant. His plans were to rent out a horse-and-buggy carriage that would take them to a nice restaurant downtown. No, I'm not exaggerating any of that. That was really his plan. I told him he should scale it down to a coffee date and that he should play coy like he didn't know if he liked her or not yet. His response was that I don't know how to treat women and that I'm an a$$hole. There was another night a girl who stood him up completely texted him a few weeks after she blew off their date. Her text was literally something like "Hey I'm in town. We can go out tonight" I told him to tell her that he had other plans and that she should have thought about this before she stood him up. But he told me that I was an a$$hole and that I have no respect for women.

I can only hear so much of this before I just give up. It's gotten so bad that I can't even hang out with my AFC friends anymore. The most I can handle of them is a meeting in a non-social place like a two- or three-person dinner, and even then I can only handle talking to them for about an hour at a time. After that, I have to leave and go back to what I know as reality. If I go out to a bar or a club with them, their lack of confidence/game hinders my ability to have a good time. One of them is so pathetic that he picks out girls at bars that he wants me to talk to. It's not that I have some crazy ability to attract any girl I see, it's that he is so lame he can't even think about doing it himself. The first guy I mentioned in this post lacks confidence to the point that when we go out to the bars he'll practically hide when someone we knew from high school appears because he doesn't want them to see how much weight he has gained.

It's gotten so I have about five non-AFC friends who I go out with. If I go out with anyone else, I usually just want to go home and I don't even bother with trying to talk to girls. The two AFC friends I mentioned in this post have caught onto this and have both asked me if I am embarrassed of them, which sadly to say is probably the truth.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo MikeYikes,

I feel ya' dude...

I have had, and STILL have those same kinds of interactions with some of the guys that I know. And age, is by no means an indicator of just HOW "AFC" some of these guys are.

But the thing that keeps me reaching out is that I know that "I" used to be JUST LIKE THEM-----to a great extent at least. I didn't have an "involved" older brother or father in my life, so what I've learned, I learned on my own and by picking up great insights from the people that I've met along the way.

I don't think that Mentoring the Younger Man (helping out other guys in general) really needs to be a "an ultra-formal or overly substantive" type thing. It CAN be just droppin' knowledge on some brothers when you see an opening, or when you see that they may have a need.

What SOMEBODY else does with the knowledge that you drop is NOT your responsibililty. I have found that words of truth are like SEEDS. And sometimes things I've read, and things that I've been told over the years that are TRUTH-----DON'T fade away or die. They tend to stick with me. And just like a "material" seed, intellectual seeds of truth can impregnate. And once those seeds of knowledge "grow"------revelation is usually the result.

And during the time in between...that's when the things I've learned have been "watered" by my contemplating them quietly to myself. So that when I was finally "ready" to know it (to become INTIMATELY ACQUAINTED with it)------I accepted THAT truth.

Now having said all that, usually when you become known in your particular social circle as someone of particular and/or specified substance-----eventually their respect for what you bring to the table will outweigh their pride, fear, and reluctance. And THAT'S when they'll either come to you for REAL help, or at least be OPEN to you dropping as much knowledge on them as they can stand at that particular moment...

 

[KarmaSutra]

Words are fleeting. You need to lead your men by example. I have taken on another brother under my tutelage who is stubborn and hardheaded to the ways of the DJ. He truly thinks the world is against him but do I allow his defeatist mindset to fvck me out of his learning experience? Fvck no. Most of lifes lessons must be shovel fed in order for them to appreciate and internalize it.

You need to remain hard and diligent in his lessons. Otherwise it's a waste of both of your time.

 

[eyedogg]

Hi Gentleman,

I for one can vouch for Karma and his ability to help out younger men. He has offered me assistance and advice on here, PM, and email. THANKS Karma!

 

[KarmaSutra]

Hi Gentleman,

I for one can vouch for Karma and his ability to help out younger men. He has offered me assistance and advice on here, PM, and email. THANKS Karma!

This makes everything worthwhile. Contributing to positive change in a man's life spurs growth unto oneself unlike any other experience.

My thanks to you brother Eyedogg. Keep up the phenomenal progress!

 

[KarmaSutra]

Brothers:

Eyedogg and a number of other brothers; Please check your email boxes. I have sent every one of you who've inquired my Karmic Personal Assessment Profile.

Please read it, live it, learn it, send it back and let's start the show.

All of the ranking soldiers in the Victory Unlimited Army please send me your email addresses so I can send you copies as well.

Anyone else interested in the K.P.A.P. please send an email to:

TheKarmicLaws@AOL.com

Let's stay on point soldiers.

General KarmaSutra

 

[MikeYikes122]

^^^^ That's a good response Amante. Instead of forcing this advice on them I'm just going to wait for them to hit a breaking point. I hit a breaking point once, and I'm sure everyone else on this board has as well. When a guy hits a rock bottom, he is open to pretty much any type of advice.

The problem is, I guess the horse-and-buggy guy is dating a girl who is four years older than him (what guy would ever want to date a girl that much older?). I have a good feeling that it's a relationship where the term "dating" is used very loosely. She isn't very attractive, and she is foreign, so I'm doubting that she will ever cheat on him or force his hand in any way. But there is a good chance he might grow sick of a girlfriend who isn't very attractive and isn't able to speak English very well. A rock bottom situation could easily come from that.