Mentoring the younger man.

[KontrollerX]

Since Interceptor posted one of his great mentors in this thread I'll add my contribution by posting one of my greatest mentors Tony Robbins.

This guy's CD's completely changed my life and way of thinking about the world and lifted me out of my darkest hours.

At 8 minutes in on this video he starts talking about how we all need love but the problem is it can be taken away and he just goes on and on with brilliant things in the interview many of which we state here.

The teaching on love I'm pretty sure is headed in the direction of what we teach here about loving oneself since that is a safe love to base our life and entire being around since we can only control ourselves and not the whims and wants of another person.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wExmb4vE488

As for mentoring the younger men many young and old sosuavers have PMed me for advice and I've been more than happy to help.

Anyone reading this message of mine here that needs mentoring feel free to hit up my PM box.

 

[Interceptor]

Hey, I wanted to bump this up again.
I found the Tony Robbins video inspirational as well.
Thanks for the link Kontroller.


I find that we, as Men, have this innate desire to prove ourselves to ourselves.
When we turn away from that, we shut down a part of our masculinity.
Since we don't know that part of ourselves, what do we do?
We project our fear into that void.

Again, look deep into your self. Aren't their parts of you that are either traumatized and then pushed into the background?
Or parts of you which you have not found peace with?

What happens when we face that void, that darkness?

We project our fear onto it.

thus, we actually reinforce this disconnection to a part of ourselves.
That's why it becomes more and more difficult to bring our WHOLE SELVES to the table.

We don't want to admit it to ourSELVES.



We have to find what we are hiding.
What is it that we don't want to admit.

We have to make peace with our inner selves.

We all want some significance in our lives

A Part of that feeling comes from being a part of a group.

A sot of UNIT identity.
A bond.
Camaraderie.
Support.
Advice.
Mentoring
Counseling
Challenges

This is why we seek out these types of groups.

A group.

We gain strength from the group, an eventuall apply those lessons to our own personal life.
Eventually we gain more wisdom and insight and can help others learn these skills as well.

It then returns to the source.


We are the source and resource.


Us.

And ther are MANY battles, and challenges, and difficult PROBLEMS we face....

And many of us have had the SAME problems.
They may have some unique charcteristics, but the underlying, fundamnetal issues are the same.


They often boil down to..

What is my chracter?

What is my identity?

What do I really want out of this?

Why can I not assert myself here?

WHO AM I PLEASING here?

Which road do I take?

Who Am I?

What am I NOT FACING?


They are repeated again and again.

Your grandfather, your father, and you , and your sons will have the SAME EXACT experiences. Just with a different chracteristic of course.

But it will always boil down to basic issues, regarding your inner self.

If you want the best life you could possbly have, then you must develop these inner resources in order to get it, REALIZE it, and deal effectively with the problems you are facing.

Hiding yourSELF does NO ONE any good.

DENYING yourSELF doesn't either.

ADMITTING yourSELF lets you open a 'door' to identity...a wholenes........

and this 'wholeness' is what EVERYBODY SEEKS...........

EVERY ONE.


EVERY SINGLE LAST PERSON ON EARTH seeks..

WHOLENES.

 

[KarmaSutra]

An update:

The 17 year old, now baptised Brother Romantik, is really understanding the Karmic Structure. He has one of the most positive outlooks in his life (his words) and has a definite focus on what his goals are and a time frame in order to accomplish them.

Sadly I haven't heard from Brother J. He's stopped returning my correspondences and my phone calls. Last I heard from him he was contemplating taking his girlfriend back under extreme protest from me.

On a positive note, Brother Shuffle (the 48 year old), has adopted this new philosophy and has also taught me a few lessons only men with some wrinkles can impart. He and Brother Romantik have both completed the K.P.A.P. ,as well as some of the Brothers here, and both have stated that they learned a great deal about themselves after completing the profile.

When I wrote it I took great care to not have any resemblence at all like the popcorn and bubblegum faux-psychobabble tests found rampant on the internet. Mine is unique in that it forces you to search within your own mind and tell the truth. If you lie, you fvck yourself.

All in all I'm pleased with the development of the Brothers and moreso in my own growth.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Cool update, Karma.


It's a strange phenomena isn't it? The dilemma you spoke of concerning Brother J. I too have friends who KNOW better mentally than to fall back into the same old bullshyt they just escaped from, but somehow, they STILL lack the strength of heart to follow through on what they know they need to do just yet.

This is what I meant by how sometimes the best we can do is plant enough seeds of truth in them as we can. Then we have to wait. And when THAT man has reached the end of his rope, and perhaps he THEN remembers the truth-bombs we've dropped on him------THAT'S when some of them will finally be ready to COMMIT to the program of seriously working on bettering their lives----in whatever area that may be.

And that's when it becomes "showtime" for any man with a will to "give back" to come to his aid. NOT do it "for" him, of course. But to simply aid and abett another brother in his quest to be a better brother.

 

[Eaglecreek]

To me, teaching others what I've learned just perfectionized it even more. It was as if I was learning this stuff for the second time togheter with another person which made ME improve and thats why it has alwayse given me a very satisfying feeling when the advice I give is truely correct and put to good use. It makes me feel good about myself and thats why I love giving it to people if I know its true. (just had that on my mind, don't know if anybody else has this )

 

[KarmaSutra]

When we give advice by example it certainly helps us by giving us a different perspective to look at that advice.

Keep up the good work brother.

 

[nightcrawler]

This thread makes me wish I had a mentor.

What would you consider a young guy btw? I'm already in my early 20s

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yes.

We men of modern times must learn lessons from the GREAT Sword-Craftsmen of the past:

IRON sharpens IRON.

The PRECISION, the FORCE, and the FIRE that one man must skillfully wield to successfully help "shape and sharpen" another man's WEAPON (his mindsets and his motivations), really does result in him sharpening HIS OWN.

March on.

 

[KarmaSutra]

This thread makes me wish I had a mentor.

What would you consider a young guy btw? I'm already in my early 20s

Physical age means nothing. It's the mental age which is our concern.

That said, how can we help you brother?

 

[nightcrawler]

Physical age means nothing. It's the mental age which is our concern.

That said, how can we help you brother?

I'll vent a bit I guess...I sorta need lol.

Anywayl I am 20 going on 21 and have no sexual experience with a girl.

I've had opportunities to get intimate before but never took them due to fear and high standards. Now that I am 20, I regret not having sexual experiences.

I have low self esteem... I am not repulsive or overweight or anything like that, but I'm just no great looking. I guess the influence in my family did me wrong..my mom is so beautiful and extremely vain (I think she has the right to be) and my dad is tall. I'm average looking and short.

My personality...I can hold conversations I guess. People have told me I'm funny.

I think the thing that holds me back the most though is the lack of sexual experience...I don't want to be the guy that is horrible in bed, etc. I also don't want the chick kicking me out in the middle of it or something like that because I don't know what I am doing.

I guess something that doesn't help either is that I am the true definition of a lone wolf and always doing thing by myself. Hell the only place I have to vent is the net because I have nobody to talk to in the flesh.

I guess its just a bunch of insecurities.

BUT when I was 18 I had a mentor (we were co-workers for a few months), and while he was helping me out I seemed to do better....so better that the boss's daughter started to like me (she always thought I was repulsive lol) I moved and lost his phone #..I haven't seen him in 3 years now. He was a real ladies man.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Not having any sexual experience is NOT a bad thing. Take the pressure off yourself right now. You have a standard for which you won't settle just to put your peepee in a hole.

You want a quality girl to share your sexual permissables and this is good. This will lead you to other lessons later in life of not settling. You may have some minor issues with confidence but that will come after we get done with you.

I need you to answer a few questions. Honesty will be a dished best served with this course:

Why is the "Lone Wolf" personality the only one who lives?

What are you afraid will happen by dropping your guard and starting conversations with men and women?

Your Mother's vanity aside, how is your relationship with her?

Thing is, we all have inconsistencies and paradoxes which we need to overcome. First step is acknowledging and recognizing those and the nwe can form a plan to overcome them.

Young brother, I have some material which will help to get you started. PM me your email address.

 

[Paper Man]

@muhuwahaha, I've seen your picture, and even though it's a bit foggy in my mind, I think you look just fine. As a fact, if you worked out, I think you'd be above average. Seems to me that looks are less of a problem than your atittude; maybe that's what makes you 'look' non-attractive.

That said, I could use some mentoring too.

Love what you're doing, brothers!

 

[nightcrawler]

Not having any sexual experience is NOT a bad thing. Take the pressure off yourself right now. You have a standard for which you won't settle just to put your peepee in a hole.

You want a quality girl to share your sexual permissables and this is good. This will lead you to other lessons later in life of not settling. You may have some minor issues with confidence but that will come after we get done with you.

I need you to answer a few questions. Honesty will be a dished best served with this course:

Why is the "Lone Wolf" personality the only one who lives?

What are you afraid will happen by dropping your guard and starting conversations with men and women?

Your Mother's vanity aside, how is your relationship with her?

Thing is, we all have inconsistencies and paradoxes which we need to overcome. First step is acknowledging and recognizing those and the nwe can form a plan to overcome them.

Young brother, I have some material which will help to get you started. PM me your email address.

alright check your PM

 

[Eaglecreek]

IRON sharpens IRON.

Sorry but considering I've studied mechanics, I feel offended to hear this and MUST correct this: Iron cuts iron, stone sharpens Iron... (not that it really matters )

In a way you could say, learn to become more succesfull through your brothers and truely become succesfull by doing actions!

 

[MacAvoy]

Not having any sexual experience is NOT a bad thing. Take the pressure off yourself right now. You have a standard for which you won't settle just to put your peepee in a hole.

I'm sorry but I come from the other school of thought on this matter. You don't want to end up a 24 year old virgin or a 40 year old virgin. If you let it build up, it will only get worse and add more pressure in the long run.

Hence the for the first time, STICK YOUR PEEPEE IN ANY HOLE.

You want a quality girl to share your sexual permissables and this is good. This will lead you to other lessons later in life of not settling. You may have some minor issues with confidence but that will come after we get done with you.

Then you can go with this route.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I'm sorry but I come from the other school of thought on this matter. You don't want to end up a 24 year old virgin or a 40 year old virgin. If you let it build up, it will only get worse and add more pressure in the long run.

Pressure from whom? Society? Mom and Dad? Peers? It doesn't pay in the long run to sh!t on your experiences just for the sake of it.

Hence the for the first time, STICK YOUR PEEPEE IN ANY HOLE.

So settling for less than what you expect as best is a school of thought? I would have never considered it and won't teach it. You value your future by how you've experienced your past.

To each thier own I suppose.

 

[KarmaSutra]

The quest continues:

I'm in Best Buy today picking up some luxuries and I saunter over to the Xbox 360 aisle. I'm looking at games and whatnot and quietly move around to the Wii aisle and this young kid, 10 years at best, is trying to put a Nintendo DS game into his jacket pocket.

He's scared sh!tless. Sweating profusely and his breathing is becoming rapid, his eyes are frozen. I look this kid in the eye and gently grab his shoulder and ask him what he's doing.

"I was seeing if this would fit in my pocket. I wasn't stealing!" He's about to crack so I tell him to take a deep breath and relax I'm not security.

"Where's your Mom?", I asked him. "She took my brother to the bathroom."

One of the BB clerks asked if we needed help and I said: "No. My son and I were just looking at games." "Ok, let me know if you need anything." and he walks away."

I ask him his name and he says it's Kyle. "Young brother Kyle", I tell him, "We both know you were going to steal this game." He starts to water up in his eyeballs and I tell him to give me the game. He hands it to me and is now crying. I tell him to stop. Men don't cry when they get caught doing something wrong. His Mother is calling out for him and she comes barreling up to the both of us. "What's the matter!" She grabs him and pulls him away from me. I told her that he and I were having a talk about honor, like the Samurai. She looks at him then looks at me quite befuddled and kind of crazy.

I asked her if it would be ok if he and I finished our chat and after a couple of minutes (the longest in his young life) she tells me to say what I am going to say then they're leaving.

"Kyle, this is what I call a life lesson. You always have to think about what you do and what you say before you do it." "Think about it as risk vs reward. Would having the cops come and make a scene in front of your Mom and brother be worth you playing this game?"

He put his head down and started to sniffle. I stopped him and asked him to look at me in my eyes, men look at each other in the eye when they speak to each other. "Never trust anyone who won't look you in the eye brother."

His Mom interjects and asks why I'm talking to him this way. I told her he was going to steal this game but he was fortunate enough to meet a man who cares about his future instead of a juvy cop.

If a glare could kill he'd be 6 feet down.

She thanked me for helping to show him what he did was wrong.

Now there's a small crowd easing around to listen so I told him if he ever wants to talk he can call me. I gave his Mom one of my SPIRITeam cards with my number on it and they said thank you and walked away.

Kyle turned and looked at me as they were getting to the door with a smile on his face.

That, my friends, is what MENtoring is all about. There is no greater feeling of accomplishment than turning a potentially life altering incident into a positive lesson one carries until they're dead.

Goddamn I feel good!

 

[MacAvoy]

Boy is that kid going to be in trouble if his mother is worth a grain of salt, a heck of a lot more than some juvy cop could give him. Props to you man.

 

[cordoncordon]

I'm in Best Buy today picking up some luxuries and I saunter over to the Xbox 360 aisle. I'm looking at games and whatnot and quietly move around to the Wii aisle and this young kid, 10 years at best, is trying to put a Nintendo DS game into his jacket pocket.

He's scared sh!tless. Sweating profusely and his breathing is becoming rapid, his eyes are frozen. I look this kid in the eye and gently grab his shoulder and ask him what he's doing.

"I was seeing if this would fit in my pocket. I wasn't stealing!" He's about to crack so I tell him to take a deep breath and relax I'm not security.

"Where's your Mom?", I asked him. "She took my brother to the bathroom."

One of the BB clerks asked if we needed help and I said: "No. My son and I were just looking at games." "Ok, let me know if you need anything." and he walks away."

I ask him his name and he says it's Kyle. "Young brother Kyle", I tell him, "We both know you were going to steal this game." He starts to water up in his eyeballs and I tell him to give me the game. He hands it to me and is now crying. I tell him to stop. Men don't cry when they get caught doing something wrong. His Mother is calling out for him and she comes barreling up to the both of us. "What's the matter!" She grabs him and pulls him away from me. I told her that he and I were having a talk about honor, like the Samurai. She looks at him then looks at me quite befuddled and kind of crazy.

I asked her if it would be ok if he and I finished our chat and after a couple of minutes (the longest in his young life) she tells me to say what I am going to say then they're leaving.

"Kyle, this is what I call a life lesson. You always have to think about what you do and what you say before you do it." "Think about it as risk vs reward. Would having the cops come and make a scene in front of your Mom and brother be worth you playing this game?"

He put his head down and started to sniffle. I stopped him and asked him to look at me in my eyes, men look at each other in the eye when they speak to each other. "Never trust anyone who won't look you in the eye brother."

His Mom interjects and asks why I'm talking to him this way. I told her he was going to steal this game but he was fortunate enough to meet a man who cares about his future instead of a juvy cop.

If a glare could kill he'd be 6 feet down.

She thanked me for helping to show him what he did was wrong.

Now there's a small crowd easing around to listen so I told him if he ever wants to talk he can call me. I gave his Mom one of my SPIRITeam cards with my number on it and they said thank you and walked away.

Kyle turned and looked at me as they were getting to the door with a smile on his face.

That, my friends, is what MENtoring is all about. There is no greater feeling of accomplishment than turning a potentially life altering incident into a positive lesson one carries until they're dead.

Goddamn I feel good!

I know that you and I disagree on a lot of things but very well done. I even see you are calling a child "brother". Kinda strange but in this case I could see the effect it would have on him, giving him respect while at the same time letting him know that what he did was wrong.

Points for you.

 

[Drumstick]

That was all very good, don't get me wrong, but you're "real men" stuff... I don't totally agree with it. This kid did soemthing and he was ashamed -let him cry, thats real emotion, and thats ok. The real men part is about NEVER doing anything that would make you feel ashamed. I would have let him cry, but tried to comfort him and firmly tell him that he should never do anything that makes him feel shame in himself because that is what a true man does.