Men confuse me

[Bonhomme]

She just asked a question

If you don't want to answer a question, ignore the post.

I see this as very simple, really.

The guys flirt with you because they find you attractive. Some may be just flirting for its own sake, and wouldn't do anything even if the opportunity presented itself ("bro's before ho's" ... ahem .... excuse the expression), and others whose level of hormonal activity exceeds their level of class might genuinely want to hook up with you or replace your beau.

So you feel attracted to one of them. As long as nothing more comes of it, big deal. I'm sure your sweetie is attracted to other gals, too. It's not like there's only one attractive person in the world.

As for people becoming more attractive if you know they have a thing for you... people tend to want most what they can't have. In your case, since both parties are involved with someone else, and therefore "off limits," I can see your point. When both people are single, the other one being disinterested can often make them more attractive for the very same reason.

 

[MR_PERFECT]

Littlebubmlebee, don't let anything you've read in here get to you. How you feel is not your fault, and if you cheat you don't have to answer to us for doing so. I don't think we should be judging you in here, that's not what the forum is here for. The cheating is a moral issue that we all judge differently anyway. There are situations where cheating is not justified, but understandable.

There are two ways to get someone to be intensely attracted to you and they are both in this story. The first, is to let it get out that you are attracted to someone, but don't let it come from you. The flattery will make them see you differently: someone who's attracted to me can't be all bad. The friend didn't do this on purpose though, the boyfriend really helped out big time. The second, is to have a strong dislike for someone that fades over time, then become friends. An attraction is usually guaranteed.

Now, the reason the friend is showing how he feels toward you is because he doesn't really see your boyfriend as a friend, the friendship is expendable. What's holding him back is the fear of losing a "friend." Most people have a need to belong and feel excepted, that's why we linger in relationships we should have ended, and the reason we maintain friendships with people we don't like or respect. If he felt comfortable in knowing you would never tell, he would sleep with you tonight if given the chance.

The interesting thing about friendship: men are no different than women when it comes to the cattiness and one-upmanship. Men pretend it doesn't exist and never discuss the problems they have with one another because it would make them seem weak. Men are better at the subtleties of emotional warfare. They will try to bring you down, but it will be under the guise of a friend trying to help. We've all had real friends, just not as many as we think.

Guys on here are always talking about the "code", but the code doesn't really exist because at the core of every man I've ever met is his ego. Every man feels he is better at something than the rest of his friends. Example: one friend I had was "the ladies man". The only problem was when we went out and I got the better girl, his resentment grew. He would have cheated with a girlfriend of mine to validate his self-worth. I've seen these problems arise when it came to athletics, women, intelligence, freedom vs. marriage, and so on. Now, I had another friend that had to be better than everyone at singing, telling jokes, making money, etc... The one thing that didn't get to him was a friend getting a woman he couldn't get, but he would do anything in his power to dominate in everything else. What I'm trying to say is just because one friend will sleep with your girlfriend, it doesn't make the guy that will cheat you in cards a better friend, it's just not his thing.

 

[jprjrjr]

Originally posted by SageOFAllenAge
Well if finding someone else attractive while being in a relationship is technically cheating.

I wonder about the guys with chicks who beat off watching porn or check out HB's.

You totally misinterpreted what I said. Guys are attracted to other women physically. They mostly just want to bang them. She indicated that she started to fall for this guy. That's an "emotional" attachment. There's a big difference. Guys can usually separate sex and love, most women can't.

For some reason, It just seems more serious when there's an emotional attachment. That I do consider cheating.

 

[johnny_chase]

cheating on what? where is the ring? Other than the commitment of calling this person you "BF" or "GF", there is nothing set in stone.

Honestly, sure, it is dishonest to the other person if anything comes of it, and if there is emotional attatchment have the decency to make a decision and act on it rationally. Just make sure you end it completely with one first.

I do know women that can seperate sex and love, they do exist. I know guys that cant.

Sex should be a derivative of love, never the other way around, but sometimes sex is just sex; but both parties have to know this.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Re: eyes.........

Originally posted by cave dweller
You have a bf, but, you are flirting and playing 'goo, goo eyes' with one of his friends?

This is standard female behaviour these days.

Girls that are Bumblebees thrive on attention. Perhaps this guy is showing her some type of attention and she is liking it because it makes her feel special, despite the fact that the type of attention she is getting is from an AFC.

Bumblebee, maybe you aren't as into your boyfriend as you thought, or perhaps something is missing from your relationship, thus, you are starting to respond this this other guy in a positive light.

Maybe you should think about it, because obviously you are interested in this other guy if you are thinking about the situation enought to resort to posting it on here.

 

[00Kevin]

I still think my advice to her about men and how to make us happy is the best so far

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by 00Kevin
I still think my advice to her about men and how to make us happy is the best so far

You're right. I just keep looking for excuses to chuck my current steady but she just doesn't do anything to give me justification.

Cooking and cleaning for me and giving me head all the time is only keeping her in my good books!!!

Ironic how I've learned all this stuff on here and I finally hook up with a woman that is actually a real woman! (But I like to think I wouldn't have if not for sosuave)

Also, it's helped me to screen out all of the filthy and brutal w h o r e s from my life.

 

[jprjrjr]

I just re-read her initial post, just to see if I was being kind of harsh.

What I think happened here was a reversal of what women usually do to men, and bumblebee don't like it.

Evidently this guy was flirting with her and showing signs of interest. When she confronted him about it, he denied EVERYTHING!!!! That is classic women behavior, and I give the guy kudos for throwing it back in their face.

Now miss bumblebee's ego is all bruised, and now "men confuse her"...poor wittle bumblebee..you were considering cheating on your boyfriend with one of his friends and it didn't work out...TOOO BAD.

 

[young but exprienced]

hello, i think that when your in a relationship with someone you get more offers than when your single, i call it sods law. Ther are two reasons to your partners friemds making a pass at you, the first is:

jealosy, you say you are an attractive girl and so they want you

The second:

a macho show of dominance in which they are trying to prove who is the 'better man'....

tell them to back off if you want them to, if not, go for it, adulterated love is kinky and fun but if you start getting feelings for them, dump the boyfriend...

 

[christz]

i think we all hit the mark, we can go into the whole thing about how she's immature when it comes to relationships and such.

but the end result is, she's either not as happy with her current b/f as she was or their is problems brewing in their relationship.

either or i'm sure she'll either cheat on him in the near future or break up with him

 

[00Kevin]

It is a common misconception that girls are more mature then guys. Maybe women start to mature physically before men do, but mentally? No way.

This girl is 24 and she is acting and talking like a fool.

At least the guy her age (20-24) knows that he only wants sex and is transparent about it. Women on the other hand think they want a relationship and love, but it turns out that they only want sex. Women hide that fact very well and end up confusing the hell out of mature guys who are interested in a relationship.

I know a girl who is the same age as her working in my office. She was with her boyfriend for 7 years (since she was 16) and now she is afraid that she won't get the chance to experience life (ie. other guys c-ocks in her mouth). She told me the other day that she broke up with him for a break. I told her flat out that there is no going back to that relationship. It is over.

If you are a guy 18-24 dating girls the same age you can forget about love. It doesn't exist. It might for a bit, but when the woman realizes that she wants to taste another mans **** say good bye to your heart.

Becase of their imaturity women who are 18-24 are usless for anything else then sex. The playas know this and are not getting burned because of it.

I think that only when this girl starts to feel old will she smarten up.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

You're right, but unfortunately there are far too many guys, even guys older than 25, hell, even into their 30's, who view women from 18 to 24 as serious relationship material, but 95% of them simply are not.

An acquaintence of mine who as just started out with a 23 year old HB 9+ is making just this mistake - how do I know? She won't stop flirting with me, giving me the eyes, and unfortunately, the more I try to ignore her, the more she does it.

In my opinion she's probably nothing but a brutal w h o r e and he will probably get burned......

.....especially given that they have only just embarked on this relationship.

One would think that a woman who was just entering a relationship (first three months) would even have an eye for another man if she was that into her boyfriend, yet this chick started serious heavy flirtation with me even at that early faze, and she has only gotten worse since....

.....and I'm not talking about the run of the mill vocal flirtations and ribbings that girls do, I'm talking about seriously incessant eye contact, longing looks, I catch her out of the corner of my eye, and like I said, the more I ignore her and treat her with contempt, the more she keeps trying to qualify herself, it's almost pathetic.

I feel sorry for him, though, he's right into her and will probably be devastated when he inevitably gets burned.

 

[englishcrap]

I was browsing the net the other day and came across this website called bad girls or bad girls somthing ..cant remember the exact name . Anyway the forum was full of comments by a girl with the same alias name who seemed to enjoy slagging of men and saying how crap the DJ site is.

So guys ignore this silly immature girls comments. I think shes some huge, ugly overweight girl who spend too much time playing with her vibrator

 

[00Kevin]

if she plays with her vibrator that is ok with me. Being fat isn't

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

Let me get this straight. You have a BF who has a FRIEND, who confessed that he LIKED you while DRUNK. NOW you are MAD that he doesn't ACKNOWLEDGE LIKING YOU.

Maybe he cares more about his friendship than you. Which is how things should be. Why do you care so much?

BROS ova HO's and MOB money ova b**es