men buying your girl gifts like this

[MacAvoy]

if in fact a female boss/ regular of mine, purchased items for me, took me out to dinner, took me out for ****tails, she would have a SERIOUS issue with this. not necessarily due to my intentions, but just out of respect for her. now she would nto admit this to me now, but i know how she thinks.

So why don't you take my advice then? Even more so the way you seen him act in public. If he's this loud mouth, hitting on girls vagrantly, then it shows to her that he's not afraid to go after what he wants, he may be acting AFC with your g/f by buying her stuff, but he's coming across alpha in other ways and I bet if you weren't in the picture, she would fall back to him.

Are you going to let him stay in the picture so that when you go through a rough patch, she's cryin on his shoulder, then he says some bad sh1t about you, then BAM, he's in there. Seriously, take my advice above.

 

[DavenJuan]

how would it look if i demanded or even asked that she stop working for this guy or im leaving? IMO it would look extremely AFC. not only LOOK, but i believe that is an AFC move.

since their is a THREAT, i expect her to quit? lets look at the options if that were to happen

1. she would quit since i asked. but then from now on she would remember how i was jealous and insecure in our relationship so much that i didnt want her working somewhere

or...

she does not quit, and now i gave her an ultimatum. i run for the hills, and basically let mr. lawyer win

her crying on his shoulder when we go through rough patches is a possibility. and im sure he would take advantage of that as well. but i cant try to HIDE her from other men trying to get in her pants

again, SHE is responsible for HER actions. if this type of seduction works on her because she is in a "tiff" with me, then good riddens.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...again, SHE is responsible for HER actions. if this type of seduction works on her because she is in a "tiff" with me, then good riddens.

Dude, you're going to be just fine. :rockon:

 

[Latinoman]

how would it look if i demanded or even asked that she stop working for this guy or im leaving? IMO it would look extremely AFC. not only LOOK, but i believe that is an AFC move.

since their is a THREAT, i expect her to quit? lets look at the options if that were to happen

1. she would quit since i asked. but then from now on she would remember how i was jealous and insecure in our relationship so much that i didnt want her working somewhere

or...

she does not quit, and now i gave her an ultimatum. i run for the hills, and basically let mr. lawyer win

her crying on his shoulder when we go through rough patches is a possibility. and im sure he would take advantage of that as well. but i cant try to HIDE her from other men trying to get in her pants

again, SHE is responsible for HER actions. if this type of seduction works on her because she is in a "tiff" with me, then good riddens.

And this is what I call a TRUE DJ approach. Excellent point!

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I'm more impressed how the lawyer has a way of charmin' everyone. The OP is actually warming up to him, with the threat right in front of him. The guy sure knows how to play the "Man's man", "Guy's guy" role. After reading that last story, I'm beginning to like him as a cool dude to hang out with, althought morally, it is clear that he's a piece of $hit.

 

[Latinoman]

I'm more impressed how the lawyer has a way of charmin' everyone. The OP is actually warming up to him, with the threat right in front of him. The guy sure knows how to play the "Man's man", "Guy's guy" role. After reading that last story, I'm beginning to like him as a cool dude to hang out with, althought morally, it is clear that he's a piece of $hit.

We should not define other people's morals. I agree about the guy being cool.

 

[DavenJuan]

We should not define other people's morals. I agree about the guy being cool.

the guy is cool to an extent. i mean to go out with, you got your drinks purchased, a bit of entertainment, and he definitely will through his money at the opposite sex, so that is always fun to watch.

however ikeep reminding myself that he is not a single man. he has a wife and more importantly kids under 8 yrs old.

 

[cordoncordon]

Not to mention i don't really consider being loud and obnoxious, and hitting on engaged women in front of her future mother-in-law...cool.

I will agree that the Op here now seems like he likes the guy as well. After what that guy did to you davejuan, how could you be such a pushover?

 

[DavenJuan]

Not to mention i don't really consider being loud and obnoxious, and hitting on engaged women in front of her future mother-in-law...cool.

I will agree that the Op here now seems like he likes the guy as well. After what that guy did to you davejuan, how could you be such a pushover?

i dont LIKE the guy. i barely know him. i think he was entertaining because of his antics and given DIFFERENT circumstances i wouldnt have a problem getting wasted on his wallet and watching him in action get shot down and spend money on women.

more so , i do not see him as a threat. my overall assesment of him is corny and def. AFC.

my opinion would be different if he purposely tried to show me up, or call me out, or try to make me feel uncomfortable last night.

 

[mzilla2]

I will agree that the Op here now seems like he likes the guy as well. After what that guy did to you davejuan, how could you be such a pushover?

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.
Sun Tzu

 

[MacAvoy]

Knowing what I know now about those branch swinging monkeys, I would not tolerate such activity. I would leave her and tell her why I was leaving her. It would be up to her to rectify her behaviour if she wanted to remain with me.

There is nothing AFC about what you choose to allow in your relationship. What's AFC is allowing another man to constantly hit on your women and do nothing about it except sit and wait for the bomb to drop.

 

[mzilla2]

I think the OP's on the right path.

He keeps abreast of the situation, monitors her behaviour for changes and inference, he does not give her ultimatums (and get characterized as needy, controlling, esp. given its her boss and her "career" - chicks go APESH!T when you make any disparaging remarks about that stuff, the difference between work and social contact are often indistinguishable to them) and keeps his independence, confidence and cool.

Best any of us could do. It's on her to keep her end up.

 

[Nighthawk]

She should not be wearing the watch! Tell her it's inappropriate and how would she like it if the situation was reversed.

 

[joekerr31]

so im at work and i call her to see if she made it home yet, and shes out with mr. money bags to have a drink for this case he just won today.

how many of you would be okay with this? considering the circumstances.

im just catching up on this thread, so excuse me if this has already been addressed.

this is a major red flag. i told you, iqqi told you, and other posters have told you, this situation is dangerous.

its going to resolve itself one of two ways. he's either going to get her, or hes going to fire her - you wait and see.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Ego.

 

[joekerr31]

however, based on how my gf talked to him, i dont think she takes this guy seriously. i know she respects him and what he does, but she kindve told him several times to stop acting like an ******* in public and told him to shut up. quite amusing.

and you think this is a good sign?

dude, this is yet another bad sign. would you swear at your boss and tell them to shut up?

what it tells you is that they have a 'chummy' relationship when you are not around and they've reached that comfort level where she can talk back to him.

 

[joekerr31]

I'm more impressed how the lawyer has a way of charmin' everyone. The OP is actually warming up to him, with the threat right in front of him. The guy sure knows how to play the "Man's man", "Guy's guy" role. After reading that last story, I'm beginning to like him as a cool dude to hang out with, althought morally, it is clear that he's a piece of $hit.

couldn't agree more. the guy blantantly cheats on his wife, jokes with the op about having him hold his wedding ring, buys the guys gf a watch and jokes about getting her implants - and somehow the OP feels like theres no danger here and that the guys an alright guy.

i mean, not that there is really anything the OP can do, because as pointed out earlier almost any move he makes will make him look AFC.

but i do think he is severly underestimating the threat factor here.

 

[joekerr31]

She should not be wearing the watch! Tell her it's inappropriate and how would she like it if the situation was reversed.

is she wearing the watch? last i heard she wasn't.

 

[cordoncordon]

and you think this is a good sign?

dude, this is yet another bad sign. would you swear at your boss and tell them to shut up?

what it tells you is that they have a 'chummy' relationship when you are not around and they've reached that comfort level where she can talk back to him.

Ya know I thought the same thing when I read that. Who says those kinds of things to your boss? Someone who feels they can and who feels close to them in many and various ways...that's who.

 

[joekerr31]

This has nothing to do with the girl. NOTHING. It's not about AFC behavior or any of that sh-t. It's about how you react to a guy fvcking with you directly, and I provided what I think is a very mature, subtle and effective way to handle it.

the OP is handling it right in the sense that there is nothing you can do if you're girl is working for some dude who is behaving inappropriately but she is not bothered by it.

theres just nothing you can do without appearing like a controlling AFC.

as for the boss being an AFC - i agree and disagree. he's a dog. he's not some timid naive ignorant chump. he may not have confidence, but he is working this situation slowly but surely - using his money to grease the wheels.

i guess my view on all this is that basically it comes down to two questions...

1) would his gf ever sleep with a married man?
2) is this guy even remotely attractive?

if the answer is under the right circumstances (ie. drunk) she might sleep with a married man. and if this guy is half way attractive. then i think this will eventually end very badly.

his gf is playing with fire, and she probably is getting a kick out of it. and unfortunately, the only thing the OP can do is hope that she gets tired of the game at some point.

while this lawyer guy maybe be loud and obnoxious, he's not stupid (he passed the bar) and he obviously has some charm (since the OP doesn't think he's such a bad guy) - as such i think he is being severly underestimated (ironically the one underestimating him the most is probably the OP's gf!).