men buying your girl gifts like this

[DavenJuan]

Depending on a man's budget may I suggest Tiffany jewelry?

I don't mean to sound like an add... but a few years ago I noticed that they have a good amount of things in the $100 - $200 price range that looks nice and of course comes in the blue box with white ribbon that women recognize.

Her friends will be jealous and you know how silly women can be about status symbols.

Now before y'all go and think I'm some kind of sucker throwing jewelry at women: so far the only female who has gotten blue boxed gifts out of me is my mother.

They sell their stuff online too, and you can have it delivered directly to your house.

So for that $130 that DavenJuan spent on a Guess watch he could have gotten:

http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Cat...ewPaged-c+-s+1-r+101424818-t+-ri+-ni+1-x+-pu+

Or:

http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Cat...ms=s+1-p+1-c+-r+101424819-x+-n+12-ri+-ni+1-t+

:flowers:

its funny you mention this.

what i didnt add to this is that that same day of her bday i gave her a coat from gap and a scarf and gloves, spent about 100-120 bucks.

we get to the bar and her cousin gets her a coach purse and her female friend whips out "the blue box with the white ribbon". yes.. it was a tiffanys necklace.

im like "are you kidding me" everyone is throwing money at this girl.

 

[Luthor Rex]

1. he has a wife. if you are spending money like this on a secretary, there are bigger issues at home. i feel bad for his wife

I once saw a guy bring in a chocolate cake to win the favor of the woman he had a crush on.

It was the man's wife who baked this chocolate cake.

Ain't that something... he had his wife bake a choclate cake for the woman he wanted to bang.

:crackup:

 

[ketostix]

My question is, what did she do to make him think he should be giving gifts like this?

Yeah this girl has a track record of getting in situations that are disrespectful to the OP. The whole thing sounds really fishy to me. This girl is up to something.

 

[Gerard-890]

Daven did you mention that the guy in question was her new boss? The gift could be a result of her "good job" on the position.

One thing I wouldn't do is feel the need to "compete" with other guys over something that is supposedly already mine.

1.) I wouldn't compete over my dog, it's my dog.

2.) I wouldn't compete over my paycheck, it's my paycheck.

If she's your girlfriend then why the need to compete? Let the other guys buy her gifts, you should take it as a compliment that you have a quality girl that other guys are willing to buy gifts for.

If you truly are of value, then let that be the reason and assurance that your woman is yours and will stay there. But I wouldn't get involved in childish competition, plus you said the $130 gift you brought her was "expensive" to you, so don't go out and try and buy a more "expensive" gift.

Keep being a DJ and a man of value, let the AFCs buy what they want.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Daven did you mention that the guy in question was her new boss? The gift could be a result of her "good job" on the position.

One thing I wouldn't do is feel the need to "compete" with other guys over something that is supposedly already mine.

1.) I wouldn't compete over my dog, it's my dog.

2.) I wouldn't compete over my paycheck, it's my paycheck.

If she's your girlfriend then why the need to compete? Let the other guys buy her gifts, you should take it as a compliment that you have a quality girl that other guys are willing to buy gifts for.

If you truly are of value, then let that be the reason and assurance that your woman is yours and will stay there. But I wouldn't get involved in childish competition, plus you said the $130 gift you brought her was "expensive" to you, so don't go out and try and buy a more "expensive" gift.

Keep being a DJ and a man of value, let the AFCs buy what they want.

Wouldn't compete over what's already yours? While your post offers sound advice, the rest of posters are just agreeing and confirming that he should look out for some red flags with this new situation (gf has to deal with shady new boss), not telling him to compete with the new boss with buying anything.

A "DJ and a man of value" would not just look the other way, and blindly trust anybody, while in the presence of clear evidence of possible foul play. AFC would be to stay with a woman with a reputation of questionable behavior.

A "DJ" knows where to draw the line, and realizes that usually it is not a black/white case, he must go into the gray areas at times and use good judgement.

A "DJ" uses good judgement when deciding wether to stay with such a woman or not, and how much he will tolerate. What exactly makes her a "quality girl that other guys are willing to buy gifts for"? Her looks? Are looks enough to consider a woman "high quality"; sure helps but it takes mroe than that. Let's face it, gift buying, sexual harrasment in the workforce, usually doesn't happen because she is a "high quality girl"; usually because she's hot and/or the afc has some creepy fascination with her.


You don't fight for what's yours? Well, a woman, or another adult person is not something you own, so bad analogy there. Everything else, if somebody comes and takes it from you, you fight to keep it. Or would you let them keep your dog, your child, your money, your stereo, your car, etc. if they just picked it up and walked away with it? With a woman, you don't fight to keep her or get her; you can only hope she is indeed "high quality" and know how to handle these type of men/situations, and do what is right.

 

[joekerr31]

I'm hoping she had the class to tell the guy that she can't accept the gift. Maybe not at the party with everyone watching, but the next time she sees him, she should tactfully try to give the watch back. But that's her business, something that she should have done without you even having to tell her.

What Francisco and Latinoman said about gauging her reaction after you give her your gift.

this man speaks the truth!! this is a MAJOR red flag that your gf accepted the gift. it tells you that your gf has no problem leveraging AFC behavior to her benefit.

this guy giving her 500+ dollars of gifts is a MAJOR AFC. he's hoping that when she sees that he's daddy big bucks that she'll get hungry for his d*ck.

and let me tell you something, your gf KNOWS THIS! and she's taking advantage of this AFC for gifts and employment. in her mind, because she didn't lay on the p*ssy power to get the stuff, then she's done nothing wrong. but trust me, she knows he's giving her this stuff cuz he wants in her pants - a lot of women have the attitude 'well if he's so stupid as to give me things that's his problem not mine. i never said i would sleep with him, so im not doing anything wrong.'

call me crazy, but how long before she starts thinking 'you know, i could REALLY take this guy to the cleaners if i was with him full time."

sorry man, im glad your gf isn't flaunting it in your face. but you better never exhibit afc traits, cuz this girl clearly will take advantage of it.

 

[joekerr31]

this brings up a good point and i just remembered something as im typing this. he mentioned to me the day he gave her the gift that he was going to buy her new tits for her bday ..."for me".

now lets discuss this....is THAT acceptable??

i dont care how much money a guy has, 99% of men don't spend 500 bucks on someone that works 2 days a week for them (much less has only done so for 3 weeks!).

anyone who thinks this guy is doing anything other than letting her know 'suck my d*ck and there's more where that came from" is nuts.

 

[joekerr31]

This guy is trying to out-alpha you, passive aggressive style.

100% agree. this guy, who is a huge AFC if you ask me, has learned how to 'fish'. but instead of using worms as bait, he uses gifts.

he doesn't go after women, he lures them in.

if your gf starts going gaga over the gifts (and a lot of women will, in hopes of getting more gifts) he will make his move on her one night when they are both working late.

 

[Nighthawk]

It's a personal item and an inappropriate gift. She should give it back, or sell it.

 

[DavenJuan]

this man speaks the truth!! this is a MAJOR red flag that your gf accepted the gift. it tells you that your gf has no problem leveraging AFC behavior to her benefit.

this guy giving her 500+ dollars of gifts is a MAJOR AFC. he's hoping that when she sees that he's daddy big bucks that she'll get hungry for his d*ck.

and let me tell you something, your gf KNOWS THIS! and she's taking advantage of this AFC for gifts and employment. in her mind, because she didn't lay on the p*ssy power to get the stuff, then she's done nothing wrong. but trust me, she knows he's giving her this stuff cuz he wants in her pants - a lot of women have the attitude 'well if he's so stupid as to give me things that's his problem not mine. i never said i would sleep with him, so im not doing anything wrong.'

call me crazy, but how long before she starts thinking 'you know, i could REALLY take this guy to the cleaners if i was with him full time."

sorry man, im glad your gf isn't flaunting it in your face. but you better never exhibit afc traits, cuz this girl clearly will take advantage of it.

Joe- well though i agree to an extent...whats the difference when she or any other women working in a bar??

i mean comn' ...these guys arent laying out fat tips because they thought she was "hospitable". they are giving her fat tips because they think she is something nice to look at.

before i couldve never dated a bartender, but i have matured and KNOW that being a bartender there comes a few "traits" that she will have to carry to make..umm i mean TAKE their money. flirting is a prime example.

the night of her bday party their was this other "regular" their. slioppy looking guy, but pretty cool to talk to.

he was pretty drunk and was asking for another drink. she told him no im cutting you off you have to drive. he persisted on having one more. she told him "okay, ill pour you another drink for 50 bucks" guess what...

he handed it right over.

Everyday she goes to work she is taking AFCs to the cleaners. Bat my eyes, show some leg equals bigger tips.

now i am not saying she goes to work or even has to go to work dressed like a prostitute and jump in these guys laps to make money because she doesnt. but she definetily has to be the "hott and sexy" girl behind the bar if she wants to make money.

for those who say that maybe this gift was simply a way to show his gratitude for her work i think is BS.

keto- i post a few things that i think should be shared on the forum not only to gain insight on my own privelant situations, but also sometimes so we can "disect" whatever it is we are discussing at the time and maybe some of us can benefit just from sharing our stories. I dont share everything, only the things i think our worth sharing. those great and wonderful times arent erally worth talking about on the board.

gangster- im not EVER going to spend more money to compete with another guy, hell ANYONE for that matter.

im not blind to think that every guy out there is game to do whatever to get my gf just like any other women. but if thats what im constantly thinking about, then im now making HER the prize. shes lucky to be with ME. Not the other way around. however at the sametime, there has to be boundaries. Im not going to let somone simply walk up and take something i want.

that goes with not just women but everything. job, career, parking spot, etc.

by the way... i thought she was giving the gift back, but she actually was taking it to get links out to wear. I wander how i will feel if i see this gift on her wrist everyday.

 

[cordoncordon]

Just to get things straight here.

She started a new job for only 2 days a week.

Her boss bought her an expensive watch after only 3 weeks of employment.

He now says he will buy her a new set of tits.

------------

Ok, The guy is obviously after her. She is obviously liking the attention since she didn't refuse the gift. For him to escalate it to a new set of boobs is SO FAR out of the realm of what a boss would do for an employee I don't even know where to begin. I mean it's a blatant sexual cmon. In reality it could be considered sexual harassment. This guy wants to F your gf, and odds are, if you let this slide, he will. I've lost 2 past gf's to people they have met at work. They get a sense of bonding and sexual tension at the work place that is hard to replace at home. They see each other every day so the tend to get very close.

IMO if you don't have her quit this job IMMEADIATELY, she will cheat on you and eventually leave you. You can take it to the bank. If she doesn't quit this job and see what is going on is very inapporpriate, than she is already thinking ahead to what she can get out of this guy. If she quits than you will know she values your relationship over a meaningless job.

 

[ketostix]

Just to get things straight here.

She started a new job for only 2 days a week.

Her boss bought her an expensive watch after only 3 weeks of employment.

He now says he will buy her a new set of tits.

------------

Ok, The guy is obviously after her. She is obviously liking the attention since she didn't refuse the gift. For him to escalate it to a new set of boobs is SO FAR out of the realm of what a boss would do for an employee I don't even know where to begin. I mean it's a blatant sexual cmon. In reality it could be considered sexual harassment. This guy wants to F your gf, and odds are, if you let this slide, he will. I've lost 2 past gf's to people they have met at work. They get a sense of bonding and sexual tension at the work place that is hard to replace at home. They see each other every day so the tend to get very close.

IMO if you don't have her quit this job IMMEADIATELY, she will cheat on you and eventually leave you. You can take it to the bank. If she doesn't quit this job and see what is going on is very inapporpriate, than she is already thinking ahead to what she can get out of this guy. If she quits than you will know she values your relationship over a meaningless job.

Yeah this guy hired her solely to sex her, if he hasn't already. This situation and this girl is suspect as can be. She does need to quit this job. It'd be different if this girl was working side-by-side with DavenJuan and just taking this other guy for a ride, but that's not the case.

 

[ketostix]

keto- i post a few things that i think should be shared on the forum not only to gain insight on my own privelant situations, but also sometimes so we can "disect" whatever it is we are discussing at the time and maybe some of us can benefit just from sharing our stories. I dont share everything, only the things i think our worth sharing. those great and wonderful times arent erally worth talking about on the board.

Ok I just saw this. That's fine and understandable. However, the things you are concerned about and do mention are pretty alarming though. But like you said, we aren't getting the complete picture so maybe my analysis is off. However, you know the complete picture and you wouldn't be concerned unless your own instinct was telling you something's up.

 

[joekerr31]

Ok I just saw this. That's fine and understandable. However, the things you are concerned about and do mention are pretty alarming though. But like you said, we aren't getting the complete picture so maybe my analysis is off. However, you know the complete picture and you wouldn't be concerned unless your own instinct was telling you something's up.

on this one i dont think we need the complete picture.

i mean flip the situation on its head. imagine you took a part time job working 2 days per week and had been there only 3 weeks.

and imagine some MILF boss was giving you 500 dollar presents and talking about how she wants to lease you a sports car at some point (kind of the male version of offering breast implants).

you'd have to be off your rocker not to assume that she was trying to buy your c*ck.

and if you accepted these gifts, you better believe you damn well know the day is going to come where she wants a return on her investment.

now maybe your gf is simply planning to ride the AFC gravvy train as long as she can and accepts that when he calls in his marker she will just bail on the job. but make no mistake about it, she knows that day is coming where he is going to want a return on his investment.

if you ask me, right now she is keeping all her options open.

the thing to remember though is that this guy has all the time in the world to work your woman, because he works with her. he'll just keep trying different conversational styles, different angles, until he finds a crack in her armor.

typically in these situations what happens is that the gf at some point has a fight with her bf. thats when the AFC moves in for the kill. he takes her side and tells her how special she is, and she deserves someone that sees that, etc. - ironically he is subconsciously playing to her victim mentality (funny how guys can be so blind to what drives women and yet at the same time strategize around it). he will grease the wheels so that she feels 100% confident that the problem is not her, but rather her bf, and that she is 'better off without him."

i hope things don't go down this road. and if she simply has no physical attraction to this guy then they probably won't - she'll just milk the AFC until the tap runs dry. but just remember, as much as this guy is an AFC, he does have some things going for him (money, career, etc.), so he does have a few bullets in the chamber. and like a vulture he's going to just keep circling all day long until he sees his prey weaken, at which point he'll swoop in for the feast.

anyway, just keep your eyes open and listen to your spidey senses over the coming months. if you do lose your girl to this guy, its no big deal. better to find out that she's all about hte bling bling and to find yourself a woman who has more substance to her.

 

[ketostix]

on this one i dont think we need the complete picture.

i mean flip the situation on its head. imagine you took a part time job working 2 days per week and had been there only 3 weeks.

and imagine some MILF boss was giving you 500 dollar presents and talking about how she wants to lease you a sports car at some point (kind of the male version of offering breast implants).

you'd have to be off your rocker not to assume that she was trying to buy your c*ck.

and if you accepted these gifts, you better believe you damn well know the day is going to come where she wants a return on her investment.

I agree we have enough of the picture for this one already. And to add to this just imagine if the situation was flipped around and imagine how DavenJuan's GF would react to it. Some sh!t would be hitting the fan, I guarantee it.

I think the rest of your analyis was spot on Joekerr. I just wanted to reply to the point of flipping the situation around.

 

[DavenJuan]

I agree we have enough of the picture for this one already. And to add to this just imagine if the situation was flipped around and imagine how DavenJuan's GF would react to it. Some sh!t would be hitting the fan, I guarantee it.

I think the rest of your analyis was spot on Joekerr. I just wanted to reply to the point of flipping the situation around.

guys... you are speaking as if men vs women are playing on the same battlefield and we know this is proven time and time again not to hold true.

a women can get away with alot of things that a man could not.

in this particular situation had it been "swapped", we KNOW this would not be acceptable. why? well, it is out of our social "regularities" for a women to do such a thing.

meaining the perception of a MILF boss of mine buying something like that and offering such a gesture to purchase me a vehicle would be immediately percieved as her wanting to get in my pants. not out of geniune sincerity simply based on inconsistency with what women do.

women dont do these things as often as men do IMO

we as men do things like this ALL the time, and may it be true that most of the time it IS in fact to get in her pants, its hard to determine when its sincere or not because we have dilluted this type of gesture to seem normal

to prove my point....when she opened this gift in front of 20 ppl know one looked surprised. no one (atleast verbally) said "hmm.. what the hell would possess him to purchase such a gift?" if this were the case, why would this AFC chose to do this in front of eveyone? because there is question around his intentions. there is no clear cut conclusion which allows him to pull such a stunt. now maybe some thought this to themselves this is a bit much, but he can get away with it because its acceptable for men to do such a thing.


i am willing to bet when she tells her friends or even family about this gift, they would probably think, "oh what i very nice gesture, you must be doing really well at work. (obviously assuming SOMEONE may see through the BS) even if it were presented to her friends that i had a problem with this gift. they may say well, its just a gift ..maybe even with a hint of doubt about his intentions

NOW "swap" this and have it the other way around. my FAMILY FRIENDS EVERYONE would think my boss MILF wanted to get in my pants no questions asked. there would not even be a hint of doubt surrounding it.

 

[cordoncordon]

guys... you are speaking as if men vs women are playing on the same battlefield and we know this is proven time and time again not to hold true.

a women can get away with alot of things that a man could not.

in this particular situation had it been "swapped", we KNOW this would not be acceptable. why? well, it is out of our social "regularities" for a women to do such a thing.

meaining the perception of a MILF boss of mine buying something like that and offering such a gesture to purchase me a vehicle would be immediately percieved as her wanting to get in my pants. not out of geniune sincerity simply based on inconsistency with what women do.

women dont do these things as often as men do IMO

we as men do things like this ALL the time, and may it be true that most of the time it IS in fact to get in her pants, its hard to determine when its sincere or not because we have dilluted this type of gesture to seem normal

to prove my point....when she opened this gift in front of 20 ppl know one looked surprised. no one (atleast verbally) said "hmm.. what the hell would possess him to purchase such a gift?" if this were the case, why would this AFC chose to do this in front of eveyone? because there is question around his intentions. there is no clear cut conclusion which allows him to pull such a stunt. now maybe some thought this to themselves this is a bit much, but he can get away with it because its acceptable for men to do such a thing.


i am willing to bet when she tells her friends or even family about this gift, they would probably think, "oh what i very nice gesture, you must be doing really well at work. (obviously assuming SOMEONE may see through the BS) even if it were presented to her friends that i had a problem with this gift. they may say well, its just a gift ..maybe even with a hint of doubt about his intentions

NOW "swap" this and have it the other way around. my FAMILY FRIENDS EVERYONE would think my boss MILF wanted to get in my pants no questions asked. there would not even be a hint of doubt surrounding it.

Dave juan...you're totally delusional and NOT WANTING to see what is plain as can be. First off, I can gaurantee you that everyone at that party was thinking to themselves when she received that gift, "wow, that's quite and item for a boss to give to an employee who just started working there and only works 2 days a week, what is she doing? F'ing him or something?"

I have been in jobs, have had Gf's in jobs, and NOT once has anyone received a gift like that. And that is with people working at places for years, not weeks. Now, if it was a christmas bonus that everyone received..fine. This wasn't. This was a personal gift. Add on top of that a statement that he wanted to buy her a new set of boobs????? Huh? I can't even imagine! If my gf came home and said that her boss wanted to buy her the same, I would f'ing irate. On fire. I mean it is just so non work appropriate. That is something a pimp does for his call girls, or a sugar daddy does for his princess. But a boss saying that to an employee??? My god man wake up.

 

[cordoncordon]

I just asked my gf, who has worked for a large corporation and in an office setting for 10 years now, what she would say about the situation. She said "the guy wants to have sex with her, it's 100% totally inappropriate, that your gf is showing lower moral character in accepting the gift, and that your gf wants something more out of the situation and she is disrespecting your relationship".

So there ya have it. You need to be firm here and lay down the law. If you don't this is going to turn into a much bigger mess and heartache than it already has.

 

[DavenJuan]

Dave juan...you're delusional and NOT WANTING to see what is plain as can be. First off, I can gaurantee you that everyone at that party was thinking to themselves when she received that gift, "wow, that's quite and item for a boss to give to an employee who just started working there and only works 2 days a week, what is she doing? F'ing him or something?"

I have been in jobs, have had Gf's in jobs, and NOT once has anyone received a gift like that. And that is with people working at places for years, not weeks. Now, if it was a christmas bonus that everyone received..fine. This wasn't. This was a personal gift. Add on top of that a statement that he wanted to buy her a new set of boobs????? Huh? I can't even imagine! If my gf came home and said that her boss wanted to buy her the same, I would f'ing irate. On fire. I mean it is just so non work appropriate. That is something a pimp does for his call girls, or a sugar daddy does for his princess. But a boss saying that to an employee??? My god man wake up.

after rereading what i posted it may have come of misinterpreted.

1. i KNOW his gift was WAY out of line and he probably wants to get in her pants obviiously.

2. he never mentioned the tit thing to her she has no idea about this. he said this to me

as far as my last post, what i was trying to explain is ...lets assume that EVERYONE there thought to themselves this is an elaborate gift "oh why would he do such a thing?

he was comfortable doing this in front of everyone because it is more SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE to do. it doesnt seem so ELABORATE if a guy does this versus a women.

however, I believe his intentions are not genuine. and we shall see how my girl handles this work environment over the next few weeks

 

[Mr.Positive]

2. he never mentioned the tit thing to her she has no idea about this. he said this to me

Wait a second...your girlfriends boss told you, not her, he would buy her a new set of t!ts?!?

This guy's level of disrespect goes off the charts!!

Why didn't you put the guy's head through the wall? Boss or no boss, the guy needs his a$$ kicked for that.


EDIT: I do not condon violence in any way, shape, or form. This is for entertainment purposes only.