Meeting old men while traveling got me scared

[JuanSama]

While traveling across SEA, I met a lot of old men whose lifestyles made me worry about what's going to happen to me if I don't start a family.

One of the guys was an incel in his 60s who told me that he hates women because they're always testing him. While talking, a hot Asian lady approached him and asked where he was from. The guy just grumbled "country X" and didn't want to talk to the woman even though it could have been easy *****. He told me he prefers to pay for sex.

I met another 60yo dude at a cheap hostel. He was as grumpy as old men could be. He also talked about conspiracy theories quite a bit, like how the system is rigged and the world is trying to get him. He then said that he's an investor, which is obviously BS because he can't even afford a proper hotel room. Later, I learned that he makes money by scamming the locals into taking English lessons from him even though his English is garbage and he doesn't know a thing about teaching. He's also an incel who refuses to interact with women.

The next one was interesting. I met the guy at a bar and he kept talking about how great of a girl he has by his side. How she's always supportive and caring. I thought wow, this woman must be a goddess. 30 minutes later, the "girl" joined us. Turns out, it's a trans woman. After a couple beers, the guy revealed how he paid for his "girl's" boob job, face reconstruction surgery, and hormones. I'm assuming the guy is scared of women, so he ended up dating a trans one instead.

These are only three examples, and I've met a few more like those. I've decided to not interact with old men anymore during my travels because it's too depressing.

Now I'm scared that I'm gonna end up like these guys when I become old.

Can any old guys here chime in to talk about how life is when you're that old and still unmarried? Ideally I would like to not be broke like these guys and neither an incel.

 

[MAB]

So you met a bunch of hobos and trannies in dubious places like a bar ...

First of all, 60 is not that old.

I am 43 and I've been a bachelor all my life. I made that choice when I was 24 and it was the best choice I ever made.

Every single last guy I've ever gotten to know who got involved with a woman ended up regretting it. Some look like they are happy at first but once you dig slightly beneath the surface it becomes clear that their life is ****ed.

However, if you decide to stay bachelor forever, it is paramount to avoid living a purely hedonistic lifestyle.

I have a fulfilling spiritual practice (mediation), real (male) friends, an engaging job, many hobbies and so on. I have absolutely no time to deal with some bitche's bull****.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Can any old guys here chime in to talk about how life is when you're that old and still unmarried? Ideally I would like to not be broke like these guys and neither an incel.

When you talk to homeless people about living in a house, they will not have positive expectations based on their bad experiences and mental problems holding on to a house.

It's not about age, it's about attitude. Some people are like how you described at 30-40 years old.

I'm closing in on sixty, divorced and living in a good ground floor apartment in the center of Amsterdam with my teenage kids, I have three LAT lovers decades younger than me and I have excellent sex multiple times a week. Probably even more sexually active than I was in my forties when my kids were young and needed a lot of attention.

Not everybody gets old the same way, and many get old before their time. Don't ask losers about winning.

 

[Ricky]

JuanSama, Its ok to talk to alot of people to see a variety of life experiences but it just reminded me of the old saying that we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with.

sometimes talking to people gives you a wider view of the world but make sure you have a good crew of friends or family

 

[Mertz09]

So you met a bunch of hobos and trannies in dubious places like a bar ...

First of all, 60 is not that old.

I am 43 and I've been a bachelor all my life. I made that choice when I was 24 and it was the best choice I ever made.

Every single last guy I've ever gotten to know who got involved with a woman ended up regretting it. Some look like they are happy at first but once you dig slightly beneath the surface it becomes clear that their life is ****ed.

However, if you decide to stay bachelor forever, it is paramount to avoid living a purely hedonistic lifestyle.

I have a fulfilling spiritual practice (mediation), real (male) friends, an engaging job, many hobbies and so on. I have absolutely no time to deal with some bitche's bull****.

When you talk to homeless people about living in a house, they will not have positive expectations based on their bad experiences and mental problems holding on to a house.

It's not about age, it's about attitude. Some people are like how you described at 30-40 years old.

I'm closing in on sixty, divorced and living in a good ground floor apartment in the center of Amsterdam with my teenage kids, I have three LAT lovers decades younger than me and I have excellent sex multiple times a week. Probably even more sexually active than I was in my forties when my kids were young and needed a lot of attention.

Not everybody gets old the same way, and many get old before their time. Don't ask losers about winning.

“Not everybody gets old the same way, and many get old before their time. Don't ask losers about winning.”

very true

 

[SW15]

I met a lot of old men whose lifestyles made me worry about what's going to happen to me if I don't start a family.

The Myth of the Lonely Old Man

Is loneliness a disease that necessitates a cure? If men could be made to believe so, think of the potential profit to be made from, and the potential for manipulation of, men. The real test for a …

therationalmale.com

You don't need to start a family to have a fulfilled life.

Most people do end up starting a family. In some blue pill social circles, people have children because other people around them are having children. These people want to achieve life's milestones (marriage, babies, etc.) at a similar pace in life to other people they know.

It is often the men who don't move at the same pace with milestones who question their own life path.

Don't do this.

Do what is best for you. Forge your own path in life.

These are only three examples, and I've met a few more like those. I've decided to not interact with old men anymore during my travels because it's too depressing.

You're making judgments about life off of a non-representative sample. 60-69 year old non-married Western men in bars in Southeast Asia are not reflective of the broader population of Western men.

If you are a 60-69 year old man in 2024, that means you were born between 1955-1964, making you part of the 2nd half of the Boomer generation. Boomers from the United States were born into a prosperous nation, though many of these Boomers were adolescents/young adults during a difficult economic period of the Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter presidencies. The economic malaise and misery of the Ford/Carter years was considered bad at that time, but it paled in comparison to what 1980s born Millennials faced in the late 2000s/early 2010s.

The sexual marketplace in the United States for a later Boomer (1955-1964 births) coming of age in the 1970s/early 1980s was a friendlier sexual marketplace as compared to what Millennials faced who came of age in the late 1990s/2000s. The Boomers of the 1970s/early 1980s didn't have to deal with women of that era chasing top tier men and having abundance. The women born in the USA from 1955-1964 were raised to not consider men enemies and they had somewhat of a traditional upbringing. As a good idea, consider the chart below. In the 1970s-1980s, things were evolving due to the rise of Second Wave Feminism. However, the average age at first marriage was younger in the 1970s-1980s than post 2000 and women had far fewer sexual partners at their first marriage compared to later women. Also, the redistribution of sexual partners had not really happened by then. In more recent times, while women's partner counts have grown, there has been a rise in sexless males but not a rise in sexless females. What this means is that women are giving more sex in recent decades now to a smaller percentage of men whereas in the 1970s-1980s, access to sex was more evenly distributed across men.

In the 2020s, if a 60 something year old Boomer male is an incel, he's a far worse than average Western male. Most Boomer males were able to have easier access to sex when they were younger adults as compared to what's happened with 1980s-1990s born Millennials.

Can any old guys here chime in to talk about how life is when you're that old and still unmarried? Ideally I would like to not be broke like these guys and neither an incel.

I have an entire thread about this below. I recommend reading it in its entirety when you have some time, but I'll give you a shorter summary here.

I'm a 40 year old man who has never married and I do not have children. I have carved out a life path different than many men, even many Millennial men who are less inclined to marry and have children. There's a lot of hype out there about Millennials not marrying and not having kids but most 1980s born Millennials have done that by 2024. In 2024, the last of the 1980s born Millennials are turning 35.

In my local area social circle (a non-representative sample in general, but somewhat representative of urban bougie Millennials), there was a flurry of marriages when most members of the circle were in their late 20s/early 30s. This was followed by a flurry of 'Last Call' babies around the early to mid 30s of the women in the circle. Some of the women even needed IVF to conceive. Having IVF to conceive is an indicator of higher socioeconomic status, as IVF is quite pricy.

If you are an unmarried, childless male over age 35, you can expect to fall out of favor somewhat with your social circle. Most won't be able to identify with you as your lifestyle will be different from theirs. Most of your social circle will marry around late 20s/early 30s if your social circle has people that have bachelor's degrees or higher in it and that will soon be followed by babies. As a 35+ unmarried, childless man, you are likely to be a bit more of a loner. You're likely to still be on good terms with your social acquaintances, you are just likely to see them less often and have less commonality in conversations when you do manage to get together in-person. If you have enough acquaintances, you might have some childless couple friends/acquaintances and you'll have more in common with them.

Let me cover the rest of my experiences and offer a preview of what a social life might look like for a 35+ unmarried, childless male....

It does become more difficult to date, especially if you are not able to get bigger age gaps (5+ years). A 35-44 year old male has a more difficult time finding women who are also childless near his own age in the real world. Most men compensate for this by using swipe apps. I avoid swipe apps though did use them many years ago. The environment on swipe apps is not very good for men. A 35-40 year old childless woman has hundreds of options on a swipe app. It's common today to see a 35-40 year old childless woman on a swipe app have more mating options than when she was an 18-23 year old childless woman on a major university campus in the 2000s before she started using online dating. That is a major distortion of the market.

Most men 35-50 end up settling for whatever mediocre to subpar woman they can get who is close to their own age. Some childless men in this age range will dumpster dive far enough to commit to a single mom with children from 1 or more men because that is all they can get.

In order to get bigger age gaps, a 35+ man needs to make more money. Money becomes a bigger part of male SMV after age 35. This is true when both women close to the man's own age are judging them and women 10+ years younger.

If you are 35+ and broke, you are likely to be an incel or a borderline incel in a Western nation. Having some men and some possessions indicative of a decent lifestyle will be good.

Looks still matter at 35+. I recommend staying in shape and keeping a full hairline. There's a reason why @Mike32ct is well known on this forum for promoting the idea that height, hair, and money are the Big 3 factors for success for men 35+.

Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere! Life When Your Blue Pill Social Circle Starts Having Babies

Yesterday, I was on my Instagram and saw a pregnancy announcement from an acquaintance's wife in my social circle. I don't particularly like her. I find it annoying to be around her the 1-2 times a year I ever randomly see her in person. Right now, there are 3 women from my local area social...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Manure Spherian]

The Myth of the Lonely Old Man

Is loneliness a disease that necessitates a cure? If men could be made to believe so, think of the potential profit to be made from, and the potential for manipulation of, men. The real test for a …

therationalmale.com

You don't need to start a family to have a fulfilled life.

Most people do end up starting a family. In some blue pill social circles, people have children because other people around them are having children. These people want to achieve life's milestones (marriage, babies, etc.) at a similar pace in life to other people they know.

It is often the men who don't move at the same pace with milestones who question their own life path.

Don't do this.

Do what is best for you. Forge your own path in life.



You're making judgments about life off of a non-representative sample. 60-69 year old non-married Western men in bars in Southeast Asia are not reflective of the broader population of Western men.

If you are a 60-69 year old man in 2024, that means you were born between 1955-1964, making you part of the 2nd half of the Boomer generation. Boomers from the United States were born into a prosperous nation, though many of these Boomers were adolescents/young adults during a difficult economic period of the Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter presidencies. The economic malaise and misery of the Ford/Carter years was considered bad at that time, but it paled in comparison to what 1980s born Millennials faced in the late 2000s/early 2010s.

The sexual marketplace in the United States for a later Boomer (1955-1964 births) coming of age in the 1970s/early 1980s was a friendlier sexual marketplace as compared to what Millennials faced who came of age in the late 1990s/2000s. The Boomers of the 1970s/early 1980s didn't have to deal with women of that era chasing top tier men and having abundance. The women born in the USA from 1955-1964 were raised to not consider men enemies and they had somewhat of a traditional upbringing. As a good idea, consider the chart below. In the 1970s-1980s, things were evolving due to the rise of Second Wave Feminism. However, the average age at first marriage was younger in the 1970s-1980s than post 2000 and women had far fewer sexual partners at their first marriage compared to later women. Also, the redistribution of sexual partners had not really happened by then. In more recent times, while women's partner counts have grown, there has been a rise in sexless males but not a rise in sexless females. What this means is that women are giving more sex in recent decades now to a smaller percentage of men whereas in the 1970s-1980s, access to sex was more evenly distributed across men.

In the 2020s, if a 60 something year old Boomer male is an incel, he's a far worse than average Western male. Most Boomer males were able to have easier access to sex when they were younger adults as compared to what's happened with 1980s-1990s born Millennials.

View attachment 12411



I have an entire thread about this below. I recommend reading it in its entirety when you have some time, but I'll give you a shorter summary here.

I'm a 40 year old man who has never married and I do not have children. I have carved out a life path different than many men, even many Millennial men who are less inclined to marry and have children. There's a lot of hype out there about Millennials not marrying and not having kids but most 1980s born Millennials have done that by 2024. In 2024, the last of the 1980s born Millennials are turning 35.

In my local area social circle (a non-representative sample in general, but somewhat representative of urban bougie Millennials), there was a flurry of marriages when most members of the circle were in their late 20s/early 30s. This was followed by a flurry of 'Last Call' babies around the early to mid 30s of the women in the circle. Some of the women even needed IVF to conceive. Having IVF to conceive is an indicator of higher socioeconomic status, as IVF is quite pricy.

If you are an unmarried, childless male over age 35, you can expect to fall out of favor somewhat with your social circle. Most won't be able to identify with you as your lifestyle will be different from theirs. Most of your social circle will marry around late 20s/early 30s if your social circle has people that have bachelor's degrees or higher in it and that will soon be followed by babies. As a 35+ unmarried, childless man, you are likely to be a bit more of a loner. You're likely to still be on good terms with your social acquaintances, you are just likely to see them less often and have less commonality in conversations when you do manage to get together in-person. If you have enough acquaintances, you might have some childless couple friends/acquaintances and you'll have more in common with them.

Let me cover the rest of my experiences and offer a preview of what a social life might look like for a 35+ unmarried, childless male....

It does become more difficult to date, especially if you are not able to get bigger age gaps (5+ years). A 35-44 year old male has a more difficult time finding women who are also childless near his own age in the real world. Most men compensate for this by using swipe apps. I avoid swipe apps though did use them many years ago. The environment on swipe apps is not very good for men. A 35-40 year old childless woman has hundreds of options on a swipe app. It's common today to see a 35-40 year old childless woman on a swipe app have more mating options than when she was an 18-23 year old childless woman on a major university campus in the 2000s before she started using online dating. That is a major distortion of the market.

Most men 35-50 end up settling for whatever mediocre to subpar woman they can get who is close to their own age. Some childless men in this age range will dumpster dive far enough to commit to a single mom with children from 1 or more men because that is all they can get.

In order to get bigger age gaps, a 35+ man needs to make more money. Money becomes a bigger part of male SMV after age 35. This is true when both women close to the man's own age are judging them and women 10+ years younger.

If you are 35+ and broke, you are likely to be an incel or a borderline incel in a Western nation. Having some men and some possessions indicative of a decent lifestyle will be good.

Looks still matter at 35+. I recommend staying in shape and keeping a full hairline. There's a reason why @Mike32ct is well known on this forum for promoting the idea that height, hair, and money are the Big 3 factors for success for men 35+.

Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere! Life When Your Blue Pill Social Circle Starts Having Babies

Yesterday, I was on my Instagram and saw a pregnancy announcement from an acquaintance's wife in my social circle. I don't particularly like her. I find it annoying to be around her the 1-2 times a year I ever randomly see her in person. Right now, there are 3 women from my local area social...

www.sosuave.net

That Rollo article is ironic, as it is written by a man obsessed with women and cannot stop taking about women and judges other men through a feminine lens.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Maybe you should find better places to hang out and stop expecting the dregs of society to have had good experiences with women or really anything else in life.

 

[JuanSama]

So you met a bunch of hobos and trannies in dubious places like a bar ...

First of all, 60 is not that old.

I am 43 and I've been a bachelor all my life. I made that choice when I was 24 and it was the best choice I ever made.

Every single last guy I've ever gotten to know who got involved with a woman ended up regretting it. Some look like they are happy at first but once you dig slightly beneath the surface it becomes clear that their life is ****ed.

However, if you decide to stay bachelor forever, it is paramount to avoid living a purely hedonistic lifestyle.

I have a fulfilling spiritual practice (mediation), real (male) friends, an engaging job, many hobbies and so on. I have absolutely no time to deal with some bitche's bull****.

I didn't meet all of them at bars. Some I meet at normal places like the hotel lobby, or during a train ride.

But I also meet a ton of old locals with their families and they're the happiest people I meet. They have fun playing with their grandchildren while sipping green tea and also have healthy relationships with their wives.

So I'm thinking that it's only western old men who are doomed because people aren't designed to be alone and childless. One of the primal needs is to pass on your genes.

Maybe it's possible to find fulfillment in the other things you mentioned and hopefully I'll be able to do the same when I reach that age because I don't believe in marriage.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I have some incel friends/acquaintances not that far from these ‘old’ men age-wise. I frankly don’t know how they’re not dead yet. Interestingly, none are ‘healthy’. Either the gene packet which results in inceldom is associated with poor health. Or inceldom causes poor health.
For the vast majority of people, being alone is Not Good.

 

[MAB]

(...) and also have healthy relationships with their wives.(...)

You know this how?

So I'm thinking that it's only western old men who are doomed because people aren't designed to be alone and childless. One of the primal needs is to pass on your genes.

Who is alone? I am not alone, quite the opposite in fact. I am an extremely social, outgoing person and I have to fight for my alone time because people constantly wanna socialize.

You can also be married and feel more alone than ever. These two things are not related.

And while I am not invested in passing on my genes, I've done that too. I am just not interest in raising children or any of that ****. I let some beta-provider do that for me. That's why it's called alpha ****s - beta bucks ... you think Chengez Khan was getting up at night feeding his 20,000 children? LOL!

For the vast majority of people, being alone is Not Good.

No offense, but you seem to be so brainwashed by the gynocentric social order that you seem to equate being bachelor with being alone.

Correct me if I am getting this wrong, please.

 

[Pandora]

And while I am not invested in passing on my genes, I've done that too. I am just not interest in raising children or any of that ****. I let some beta-provider do that for me. That's why it's called alpha ****s - beta bucks ... you think Chengez Khan was getting up at night feeding his 20,000 children? LOL!

Wait...you had a kid and willingly let another man raise it? What are you saying bro lol.

 

[Pandora]

So I did EMS transport and one time I was taking a patient to a nursing home. He was a really cool older guy. Worked for the govt most of his life and travelled a lot. He said he only regrets not having children,

I have a pilot friend with tons of money. He is older. He said he regrets not experiencing the whole children thing.

Someone once said "if you have kids you will regret and if you dont have kids you will regret".

It is a pick your poison scenario like everything in this crazy ridiculous reality.

 

[Pandora]

I have some incel friends/acquaintances not that far from these ‘old’ men age-wise. I frankly don’t know how they’re not dead yet. Interestingly, none are ‘healthy’. Either the gene packet which results in inceldom is associated with poor health. Or inceldom causes poor health.
For the vast majority of people, being alone is Not Good.

Genesis 2:18
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

 

[MAB]

[

Genesis 2:18
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

Save it with the pseudo-Chrsitian bible quotes.

Jesus was a bachelor and the Bible is full of quotes that make it abundantly clear that our gynocentric society is a diabolic abomination. I'm not gonna waste my time quoting all of them here.

It's god, then man, then woman. Man is in charge, woman is there to serve him, not the other way around.
The complete opposite of what these "Christians" are practicing today.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

People don't fear being alone, they fear loneliness.

However, you can feel terribly lonely in a crowd. Or a bad marriage.

If your happiness depends on another human being, you will become disappointed and you will feel more lonely than he that doesn't depend on another person for his happiness.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I think SoSuave is still looking for mods if you wanna reach out to one of these men

 

[Pandora]

[

Save it with the pseudo-Chrsitian bible quotes.

Jesus was a bachelor and the Bible is full of quotes that make it abundantly clear that our gynocentric society is a diabolic abomination. I'm not gonna waste my time quoting all of them here.

It's god, then man, then woman. Man is in charge, woman is there to serve him, not the other way around.
The complete opposite of what these "Christians" are practicing today.

Relax. You deadbeat dad. We all know that gynocentricism is horrible.

I put that Bible qoute there because it shows that ancient cultures knew that being alone is not good for the psyche. Im not a Judeo Christian.

 

[MAB]

Relax. You deadbeat dad.

LOL! You've bought into the feminin social order hook line and sinker, haven't you?

Solitude is the price for greatness and being content on your own is an invaluable strength. How can you expect others to enjoy your company if you can't even stand to be around yourself?

The idea that it's somehow bad for you to not hang out with some woman is peak gynocentrism.

 

[Manure Spherian]

People don't fear being alone, they fear loneliness.

However, you can feel terribly lonely in a crowd. Or a bad marriage.

If your happiness depends on another human being, you will become disappointed and you will feel more lonely than he that doesn't depend on another person for his happiness.

I believe this is true in a certain context. However I doubt most on here actually believe this (I believe you do) considering the investment and thought they give into being with women. If having a woman was some take-it-or-leave-it thing, then why invest so many resources into not only finding one but remaining with one?

I once read from an author who I believe is wise not to mention, “Nothing makes a man angrier than lack of a woman.” While I think some here are way, way too dependent on women—I mean, act like they’re going to die without one for a month or so, perhaps less—I generally agree with that statement. For men who say women are just the icing on the cake, I challenge them to get rid of their women, stop pursuing women, see how they feel in a year, and then continue on like that. Perhaps they can cease all ties with friends (for those who have them) and family too.

With that said, I do believe there is some brutal gynocentrism on here.

One guy on here said none of his happiness depends on other people. For a tiny minority of people, I believe this to be true. For others I believe it is tough-guy, edgelord, stoic mumbo jumbo. For a time in my life, I suffered from extreme depression and loneliness. I once told my friend that during that time, “I felt like I was dying.” Granted I was not actually dying and depression manifests in some cases in warped thinking, but that’s what I felt in some indescribable way. Now I’m never alone and sometimes wish I could get more alone time, as my kids, wife, friends, and family members constantly want my time. I even had coworkers begging me to stay at my job that I was going to leave had it not been for a substantial raise. I gladly take this condition over being lonely. I still have my individual pursuits and interests in all this.

In conclusion I actually don’t think fearing winding up alone as a bitter old man is completely unreasonable.