Me Ex gf want to still hang out as friends

[salsalero]

My ex gf broke up with me 2 months ago, but say she still want to be friends with me.

She took her childs dad back, but she still want to hook up with me behind his back.She said she took him to get over me. I have also moved on and have a new gf too.

We still hold hands, kiss etc. it is almost like we still a couple. we went to the cinema last night and also hooked up for clubbing twice over the weekend.

She say she love the bf, but her body language and actions speaks otherwise.

She met my new gf and she bad mouths and say bad things about my new gf.

What do you guys think?

 

[Tiguere]

I hope your new girlfriend kicks you to the curb. Have some self respect.

 

[SandHawk]

I hope your new girlfriend kicks you to the curb. Have some self respect.

This. I would never let my ex-girlfriend (or family or friends for that matter) bad mouth my girlfriend. It is disrespectful and unnecessary. And as for your behavior: It's despicable. You are cheating on your new girlfriend with you ex behind her back.

If you're spinning plates, at least be a man and stand up for it. Let them know you're seeing other people.

I don't care if people spin plates, I've spun plates and I'm working on getting back to it, but I've always been open about it, and never lied about it. I believe that having this sort of contacts inside an exclusive relationship are a no go. How would you respond if your gf did the same with ex?

 

[salsalero]

I did tell my new gf that i still have feelings for my ex

So do you guys think she loves her bf if she can do this behind his back. She say she love him.

Obviously I'm outgoing, fun and flashy and the childs dad just want to sit at home. So she knows if she hang out with me and my friends then she will have fun.

Maybe she just want to be spoiled and treated. Goldigger

 

[Igetit!]

I did tell my new gf that i still have feelings for my ex

Well believe it or not,you saying that to your girlfriend probably made her even more interested in you because it presents a challenge to her.

This is the opposite of when a guy tells a girl "how he feels" about her.


When a guy tells a girl how he feels,99% of the time,she automatically loses interest because there's no challenge there.


She doesn't have to do anything to try to win you over because you just told her that she has you EMOTIONALLY,so it's game over.

So she'll seek out another guy to try to win his affection,like when a guy pursues a girl. He'll try and try and try until he finally has sex with her.


Then once he sleeps with her,game over,it's on to the next girl,(unless he wants a relationship).



Logically,you'd think that the girlfriend would just dump him upon finding out that he has feelings for his ex,but she'll just probably try to do any and everything she can to make win his feelings for herself.

So do you guys think she loves her bf if she can do this behind his back. She say she love him.

Maybe she does love him,but the deal is that people have NEEDS,and an unfulfilled need will override "morals" or "right and wrong".


A guy may love his girlfriend and the thought of cheating on her never even cross his mind,but let that girlfriend start withholding sex from him,which is a need as far as relationships go.



He may love her with all his heart,but if she starves him of sex and physical affection for too long,that need being unfulfilled will OVERPOWER his being faithful to her. Even ugly women will start to look good to him.

Obviously I'm outgoing, fun and flashy and the childs dad just want to sit at home. So she knows if she hang out with me and my friends then she will have fun.

If what you're saying is true here,then this is what's known in the Sosuave community as "having her cake and eating it too".


The thing is this.....this girl has different needs (as all women do),and she's getting one need met by you,and another met by her boyfriend.


Women need to feel secure and have reliability,but they also want fun,excitement,and unpredicability.


You meet her need for excitement because you're fun,outgoing,and like to go out,but her boyfriend is reliable and more stable.



You said that her boyfriend is her child's father. So bascially she has a family with him,and him being at a slower pace,who's at home more instead of going out partying like you is a GOOD thing. No one wants to have a child and raise it with someone who's out partying and drinking at all hours of the night.


She may like having fun with you,but I doubt you're someone she'd want to raise her kid with.


Eventually,there's a good chance that going up against this other guy,you will LOSE.


She'll probably keep going back and forth between you for a while two to get both her security and excitement needs met,but if she decides to go for something more serious,the fact that she has a child with her bf will win out over having "fun",and she'll choose him.

 

[salsalero]

You got some good points there which makes sense.

He definitely got the edge because he has a child with her.

Anyway she said we must keep our hooking up low profile lol.
Will see what happens. She is definitely jealous of my new gf.

 

[jonwon]

You got some good points there which makes sense.

He definitely got the edge because he has a child with her.

Anyway she said we must keep our hooking up low profile lol.
Will see what happens. She is definitely jealous of my new gf.

Does your other GF have a child?

Reason why I ask, is because when it comes to women and kids, I avoid.

If your spinning her as a plate, to me that plate needs to drop - it is clear she puts her child before you, it sounds like your simply providing a need.

If your thinking long term, she is a bad choice - not simply because of the kid, she already ditched you once to shack up with the EX - whilst your sleeping with this girl, spare a thought that her BF may have fuc*ed her just before you -

It is never a good idea dating a woman who openly cheats on her partner, she clearly did it with you, she is now doing it with the EX she is back with.

For a prospect for dating past fuc*ing she is a poor poor choice, even if it's a means to get your GF jealous. I'd avoid this chick and get a few more level headed girls into the mix, this girl sounds like a serious bad investment.

 

[salsalero]

No my new girlfriend don't have a child

Yes, i agree with you jonwon ... women with kids can be a problem

It can definitely be a bad investment.

 

[Ease]

You have a new girlfriend while still doing your ex on the side.

This is the ideal situation in life, go with it, dont ruin it.

 

[salsalero]

You have a new girlfriend while still doing your ex on the side.

This is the ideal situation in life, go with it, dont ruin it.

Thanks for the tip Ease ...

Do you think I should apply NC (no contact rule) with ex and see what she does?

 

[salsalero]

If i should hook up with again is a good idea to not hold hands or kiss her etc. but for her 2 make a move on me rather ... so she will think I'm not into her anymore and be a challenge

 

[jonwon]

If i should hook up with again is a good idea to not hold hands or kiss her etc. but for her 2 make a move on me rather ... so she will think I'm not into her anymore and be a challenge

Are you already sleeping with this chick? Or are you simply trying to get out of a 'friend zone' after she dumped you for her EX?

It seems clear to me it's the latter, otherwise you wouldn't be asking such questions. If it is the latter, don't waste your time trust me on that.

 

[Igetit!]

Do you think I should apply NC (no contact rule) with ex and see what she does?

No contact? What for?

Dude,what is it you're trying to do here? What are you trying to get this girl to do?

She already told you that you two should CONTINUE seeing each other behind her boyfriend's back,what else is it you're trying to get out of her?


And that thing you said about not touching,kissing,or holding her hand to make her make some type of move on you,what's that about?


Look,you don't have to all of the sudden start acting or doing anything different,you're ALREADY a challenge.

If you remember,you already have a "significant" other.


You're already in a relationship. You have a girlfriend,so if your ex knows this and she ever does decide that she wants you back,her challenge will be to take you away from your girl,to have you for herself.


Getting sex isn't a challenge for women. You say you want to start withholding touching and kissing from this girl in order to be a challenge to her. It's not obtaining sex (which is physical) that women find a challenge,it's getting a commitment from a guy,getting his emotions that's a challenge.



Her challenge would be to get you to dump your girlfriend for her,not to get sex from you.


You need to decide what it is you want from this girl,if it's just sex,to have her back as a girlfriend again,or something else,but whatever it is,you need to be CLEAR about it if you want some type of help from the forum.

 

[terran2k]

she's going to ruin things with your current girlfriend, then get cold and distant and ditch you soon after.

 

[Ease]

Getting sex isn't a challenge for women. You say you want to start withholding touching and kissing from this girl in order to be a challenge to her. It's not obtaining sex (which is physical) that women find a challenge,it's getting a commitment from a guy,getting his emotions that's a challenge.

This is so true. The woman chasing the attractive man always wants to tie down and get commitment from him. She wants security and comfort with him. Her instincts are to find a strong man and build family etc.

For us guys, the man chasing the attractive woman wants sex.

Yes women want sex, and yes men want commitment, but its not what really defines us. Lets be honest, the only reason we want commitment really is the fear that she might leave us, our insecurity. Our instinct is to have sex, not cuddle and swap stories.

 

[kingsam]

some guys seem to be putting vag over their own self respect

f@ck that !

why waste your time with bad quality women?

 

[salsalero]

thanks for the tips guys ... yes I will just go with the flow and see what happens

Thanks Igetit! for your points. My objective was 2 just to get sex from ex and then if we should get back together and then I dump her. That was my plan.

For now I will focus on my new gf and anything beyond that is a bonus.

Kingsam you got a good point "Why waste time with bad quality women!" So basically what you saying is "Don't accept crap from scrap!" lol

So i see guys that the challenge for her will be to try and get me back from my new gf

 

[r0cky]

Dude, learn to respect yourself. This girl is trying to have her cake and eat it too. She's taking advantage of your low selfesteem to get some sexual attention, and like her little puppy you're giving her what she wants. Drop her completely man, she has another guy in her life and this is something you should never put up with.
Everytime you kiss her, you're tasting the other dude's d1ck, when you hold her hand, you're touching his dried up cuum.
Man up, you already have another girl so focus on her, stop thinking emotionally and start thinking logically. You're only doing this because you have no respect yourself, because your selfesteem is not strong enough to stand up for yourself and to put a stop to this.

No self respecting male would ever pursue a girl who wants to have more than 1 guy. She's a wh0re, so she doesn't even deserve thinking energy.

Yea it feels good right now, having sex with no strings attached, but it is hurting your sense of self and in the long run, you will only become angry with yourself for having done this. Dont listen to the other guys, most people here are very low self esteem and dont care about getting laid at the expense of their own self respect
Hope you see what I'm telling you and wake up!.

 

[salsalero]

Dude, learn to respect yourself. This girl is trying to have her cake and eat it too. She's taking advantage of your low selfesteem to get some sexual attention, and like her little puppy you're giving her what she wants. Drop her completely man, she has another guy in her life and this is something you should never put up with.

Thanks Rocky for the advice ...

I made up my mind that i'm gona focus on my new gf ... then waste energy on my ex

 

[kingsam]

Thanks Rocky for the advice ...

I made up my mind that i'm gona focus on my new gf ... then waste energy on my ex

best decision...you have a clean slate with this new one...no "afc rep"

a shame that some guys think with their ****s a bit too much